Will we be together again

Hey..I have been in love and a relationship with a libran since five years.it has been a truly amazing one..the only person i loved this life.And I was the only girl he loved. We spent the entire 'youth' together'.Though in every relationship one loves more..and needless to say i thought i did..but if i look back and realise it was he who loved more.I am an aries. As far as i know I lived the song..'everything i do i do it for you'..And he is such an amazing person that nobody can help falling for him..to an extent that i used to get emotionally weak without him..

Around a year back there was a time when he got very busy with his work and i was going through a rough phase and he was just not there. And i moved out. though it wasnt his mistake at all as he could not help me as he was struggling hard with his job. but i was broken. And he did not come to take me back. Its been a year now. He is not in any relationshiip, and neither am i(i can never be as i have loved this guy a little too much!). I realise my mistake but i was confident enough that he would come someday. I know he is deeply hurt and we have been talking about this since a year. But i know him so very well. When he is hurt he becomes as hard as a rock. Even if he would want to his 'brain' would not allow him. I am truly in love with him. And i know for sure that he too is. But he does not admit and he will not. He keeps distracting himself with his online chat friends and office colleagues. Though deep inside he doesnt take any step forward with them.

Please suggest what do i do to make him understand..that some people are just meant to be together!!

You rightly said, he is afraid of getting hurt plus he does not want to trust again.I have tried talking to him. but in vain. He knows if we meet he will get weak and so he avoids this topic as well as meeting me. He knows if we meet or communicate more, he would again fall back, as that bond is too strong. But he does not want to give it a chance as he is deeply hurt. I never do any tantrums or pressurise him for any reason, as love is not imposing someone, or taking it by force or sympathy. But since I have known him so well, i also know that he can take some drastic decisions only on facts and not on emotions,even if its his own. Even if he regrets it for entire life. I just dont want us to do this mistake. I have already done one, and he is doing another.

I agree totally that i have to prove it to him that its going to be forever. And I will do it. I have faith. But sometimes i jus get weak and loose it all.

Posted by cutie2009
Hey..I have been in love and a relationship with a libran since five years.it has been a truly amazing one..the only person i loved this life.And I was the only girl he loved. We spent the entire 'youth' together'.Though in every relationship one loves more..and needless to say i thought i did..but if i look back and realise it was he who loved more.I am an aries. As far as i know I lived the song..'everything i do i do it for you'..And he is such an amazing person that nobody can help falling for him..to an extent that i used to get emotionally weak without him..

Around a year back there was a time when he got very busy with his work and i was going through a rough phase and he was just not there. And i moved out. though it wasnt his mistake at all as he could not help me as he was struggling hard with his job. but i was broken. And he did not come to take me back. Its been a year now. He is not in any relationshiip, and neither am i(i can never be as i have loved this guy a little too much!). I realise my mistake but i was confident enough that he would come someday. I know he is deeply hurt and we have been talking about this since a year. But i know him so very well. When he is hurt he becomes as hard as a rock. Even if he would want to his 'brain' would not allow him. I am truly in love with him. And i know for sure that he too is. But he does not admit and he will not. He keeps distracting himself with his online chat friends and office colleagues. Though deep inside he doesnt take any step forward with them.

Please suggest what do i do to make him understand..that some people are just meant to be together!!

Mmmm, I failing to understand what you did wrong! I really think 'time' and the re-establishment of a friendship first will be key to resuming your relationship with libra... 'Chill' and continue to work on you and what YOU desire out of YOUR life.

@hypnotic..you are absolutely right with your head and heart explainations. And i know he has mostly taken right decisions in his life, as they are always balanced. However there are few of my apprehensions which make me loose confidence. First, we do not live close by, and so its not quite possible to meet him. Second, when we had broken off, for sometime there wasnt any communication between us, and then we started off, he was quite annoyed, to an extent that he did not take my calls. Then came a stage that we started talkin again, and few mesages here and there..and now its almost on a regular basis..how ever i still do not call him much..the reason being i find his fon busy at nites somtimes..which i jus cant take, it makes my heart break to even think of him with someone else..though i know there isnt anything serius going on,(else he would have told me clearly)..but i still avoid calling at nites as it discourages me to the extent that i just stop contacting him for a while..And when i stop mesaging, he calls me or starts messaging again..He so very well knows that why i suddenly stop all the talking, as he knows me too well. He knows that i must be hurt as he was busy with somebody(though these girls he is contact with arent quite serius types) but he does not owe me explainations..its like an unsaid thing..i dont know..m confused..

@love_365.. thats so sweet of you to give me hope..hope is all i am living on..its makes u get up every morning and go to work😉...can i ask u as u said' your guy left u for a libra girl'..so was she his ex, or he met her after he met you..

i am also not ruling out the possibility that he might have really started liking somebody..he is on fon with..but he isnt dating anyone for sure..i do not know to what extent and how much..that he cud start a relationship with her..though my gut feeling says he wouldnt..as he knows deep inside i am waitin for him..but u never know..and if that is the case i would never come in his way of happiness..but i still will wait..people i dont know how many of you have really felt it..but dating ang meeting and liking someone is sooooo different from loving and spending 5 years with them..it can never be replaced..however since i left, all those times he would have gone thru can make him take drastic steps also..i wish every day,every moment that he realises that there is one girl in this world who would do anything for him..:-)

when's your birthday?

@curious..I am Aries..1st week of april born..

then just leave him alone. you'll probably just hurt him again.

curious, hurting him is like hurting myself..when i left its me who has suffered most..may be more than him.anyways thats for him to understand..and if he does not its my bad luck.

hypnotic, you are right..if he is seriusly getting involved then i know how committed he would be..as he is not amongst those flirt types..and so he would take his own time to commit,so that he does not take a wrong decision. But what i know of him, he is connected to me as well. He became available to all the girls around..as i moved out!!not because he wanted..something he just didnt want..however now he has a routine..which he has got used to..even if it means casually chatting with friends..i dont know as i dont probe..but yes i get insecure, to the extent that its sometimes sleepless nights.

Posted by cutie2009
curious, hurting him is like hurting myself..when i left its me who has suffered most..may be more than him.anyways thats for him to understand..and if he does not its my bad luck.

wah wah wah. no. you hurt him. it wasn't you who suffered most. that's arrogant as fuck.

that's like a man beating up his wife and then asking her to forgive him because it hurt him more than it hurt her. because you know what, it didn't. he's just manipulative. and he'll do it again.

the second you can understand and accept that you hurt him way worse than any pain you felt yourself, you might start having a chance to get him back.

don't ever belittle a libra (or anyone, for that matter) by acting like you're the victim when you hurt them. that's bullshit.

maybe you hurt too. okay. that's fine. but he hurt worse. he thought he knew you. he thought he could trust you. you betrayed him. you made him doubt himself and the world and love and everything. you only hurt because you missed him and felt bad for hurting him and were pissed off that he didn't stick around waiting for you. you made your choice.

curious..this one's specially for you..i think you are taking these threads a little too personally(i dont want to speculate whether you are reacting like this coz of your own stories)..dont have to be so agitated..we are here to give suggestions and understand the people and their situations and suggest them the best out of our own experiences and judgement. And not being judgemental about the person and his characteristics. Even then it was nice of you to put your point across in a very illogical manner. theres is no synchronicity in your given example and situation i am going through. however i think your limited approach towards society and confined thinking made you think that your example is comparable to the situation of getting hurt. i appreciate your post. i dont know if you have been really devoid of love or dejected, but life is not just black and white. It has many colors to it. And i hope you would understand sometimes circumstances are just not in your favor and you tend to hold the grip of the most loved possessions of your life. Which does not mean or prove that you love any less.
I am not manipulating anything..be rest assured manipulations dont last long..and i dont have to becoz i gave my hundred percent for five years.

i am here to interact with some positive people who have loved and lived life fully and forgiven and understood the depth and ups and downs of love in a more mature way..thanks

just because i didn't give you the answer you wanted doesn't mean i'm being a bitch or that i'm not mature.

but just so you know, if he's a libra, there's a good chance that the things i said are the same things that have gone through his mind. and you can rest assured that if you act like whatever hurt and confusion he feels isn't valid, he's not gonna want to get back together with you.

if you try to talk to him and he says the same things i just did, what will you say to him? will you tell him he's being illogical? are you gonna tell him that leaving him hurt you more than it hurt him, so he should forgive you because you miss him?

yeah, probably.

you posted here for a libran perspective. and that's my libran perspective.

@curious .. What i did not like about your post is.."dont try to get him back...you will hurt him again.."
That to just by asking my birth date..the only immature part about your post was this..

and you know what the best part is i have been with a libran for five long years..and i know librans as well as they know themselves..i know them in and out..librans are quite balanced when it comes to relationships. Yes, they take facts and figures into account before taking any decision.

it is not about not wanting to hear what i want..it is about your tone..why being aggressive about it..and your example..as i said i appreciate your post regarding the libran perspective..leave alone a libran sign..any sign would react in this way..it does not take a rocket scientist to figure out what you wrote..my concern is your approach towards a problem..and i can so well relate to your last three lines.

But your post is not sufficing my problem.."your post is rephrasing my problem"..i hope you got the difference.."it is not that i dont want to hear that".it is that i already know what you pointed..i know he is thinking what all you said..(and my getting hurt is just a part of the big picture)..and i am asking people over here to help me find a way through it..i cannot justify a wrong decision..i know that..but we can always accept what wrong we have done and make amendments for them..if possible..


@ amethyst i understand your suggestion of trying to gain that trust back..and i will go all out for it..I would not justify a rough patch..all i can say is we all get weak sometimes..and there has been times when my libra got weak and i was standing like a rock with him..but probably he could not due to his own circumstances.It was just too bad that we both were goin through a bad time and we just could not handle it together.

@amethyst.. its not been just one rough patch..we have gone through many patches together..and believe me i have read your posts and of many people in this forum asking about librans behavior when they dont do this or that..i and my guy have gone through all this..but when there is love and you both want to be together you can handle it.

I have not contradicted myself. There are two conditions to it. If there is love and you both want to be together. We broke up as i moved out which directly nullifies the second condition. If i didnt take this step, then i would not have been posting this problem at all.

Imma just put it out there like this, the worse thing u could do is make a libra feel pressured to make a decision, cuz even if they make the one we didnt want to, we will turn around later and change our mind to what we really wanted. With that said, YOU might not think you are pressuring him, but it doesnt mean he doesnt feel pressured. And he seems hurt, i mean u did say u moved out while he was busy working cuz of lack of attention.


and let me tell you, cuz im a libra, it might be best you let him come around or let it die. Cuz if he does return, he may never be the same and u could be in for a world of hurt cuz 5 years? Libras do not like wasting their time and 5 years is a long time just to feel hurt, so if he does come back, he might just use you for whatever he is lacking in life at the moment, it might not be neccasarily for love. And the fact you still come around and he sees you as wrong, he wouldnt hesitate to use you as something to fall back on(and not in a good way)


BUT outside of astrology, you are 2 people who are in love and have an extensive history, it can work out but it wikk def. take sum time

@pride..you are bang on target..each word is as if my libran guy has pend it down..he is definitely those kinds who would take a decision under prsessure and then retreat to the one he really wants to do..and thats why he mostly takes balanced decisions ..finally!i am taking full care not to make him feel pressurised watsoever..we are living our separate lives..sometimes we talk and text here and there..i myself believe that out of all the things in life..love would be the last feelibng that can be imposed and created..i could show how much i care and love but period. what he does out of it is his prerogrative considering the past actions. and i understood what you said by falling back to fil in the vaccum in his life..which might not be necessarily love..and i get this feeling sometimes that he does text me more when he is alone and bored.

I am giving him the total space he needs and even more. However, i have lately started observing that he isnt that callous and casual about me as i used to think. If i do not contact him for 3 days..he keeps an account and he would mention whr was i for those days..i am on his mind always..which mite be not a very great news but i am happy to know that..:-)..its taken a lot of time to reach this but definitely he cares and bothers to know if am not in contact he would certainly call me up..as if he does not want me to go far either..also if i am upset sometimes on his call waits he would go out of his way to make me belive and sufice that he isnt gossiping around with females..and even if he is he isnt interested in any other manner.i know for sure he gets worried if am worried..and thats the best part..rest wil keep you updated..i wouldnot pressurise him..if he gets the understanding that this care,botheration and liking has anything more than friendship deep rooted than he would definitely make a move!!