...And now we must part

I know this might seem strange but how do you shake an aquarius?

My aquarius friend really messed things up this time, to the point of me not wanting to be friends with him anymore, however, he thinks that if he stays away long enough either I will give in and forgive him or I'll forget what happened and pick up where we left off.
He's so use to talking his way out of everything and being forgiven( by females of course),that he's forgetten how to tell the truth and admit when he's wrong. I've run out of patience,tolerance, and understanding. I just want to be left alone. Is there something I can say to help him see that there is nothing left between us? I think he looks at the situation as being a game of mental chess (I'm a gem, he's an aqua) but I'm tired of playing games, it's not getting us anywhere and it's starting to interfere with the positive things that are going on in my life.

Any advice or suggestions—

just tell him straight out how you feel and either way, hes gonna have to realize that you dont want to be "friends" with him anymore so why not just tell him the straight out how you feel, the way you'd want him to be since he doesnt seem to tell the truth either.

You're saying he messed things up. Can you explain what it is he has done that has hurt you so badly?? I would hate to give you bad advice without knowing more about it.

How long have you been friends?

What is it she is doing (mental games of chess)?


If you cant give more details, then maybe not answer your phone or just cut him off. I had to do it with some friends and it was personal. If I hadnt done it, I would have fallen back on old habits that I had struggled so hard to get aways from. It was a matter of my future and survival. When it comes to surviving there is only one choice, and they had to go!! I know they dont understand and I tried to tell them, but they didnt care about me only about themselves and that is when I knew the answer.

Wonderbox,
We've been friends for a little over two years.
He messed up by lying to me. I don't see were it was warranted. If you're friends with someone there's no reason to lie. I also feel that if you're doing something that you feel you'll have to lie about later than you shouldn't do it.
He's always trying to outsmart me with lies, sweetalk or charm, that's what is meant when I say mental games. I know him like the back of me hand, we were darn near inseparable for two years( not relationship wise more of a friendship), so his game doesn't work on me. I think that's why he is so determined to win back my friendship. He sees it as a challenge. He's not use to women not buying his lies or cutting him loose. All I know is that I'm tired of forgiving, supporting (morally not financially), and encouraging him, and him turning around doing something immature. It's like he doesn't even know how to treat our relationship, as if he never experienced one like it before.

Luz,
I've always been straight up with him. He knows exactly how I feel at this time, he's just not willing to expect it, you know, his ego and all.

Unfortunately, men (Aqua or otherwise) who get away with mind games (lies, charm as needed, etc.) do not know how to deal with it when it doesn't work. It doesn't sound to me like he will give up easily...

Is he a threat to you?

It sounds like you are angry at the way he treated you, but are not afraid of him...right?

haha ic rare gem

Rare gem,

Sorry to say but he will never get the message..they live in their own fantasy world. There is nothing you can really do either abut snapping him back to reality. Even ignoring him will pique his interest and he will push and prod at you b/c he will think there is some mystery he hasn't figured out yet. The best way to deal with it is be as direct as you can. Be in his face and say, "I don't like you, you smell and your hair style sux"...that may JUST do the trick.

Star,
He maybe a threat to women or even hisself but not to me. I'm not easily intimidated and he knows this.

Lawgoddess,

I'm always the realistic one, that's the problem. He's always trying to attempt the impossible like trying to be friends again. I guess that is what really frustrates me. I'll be sure to take your advice and tell him I don't like him, he smells and his hair style sux! I tried something similar, he told me I was very insensitive and was mad for a day or two. I'll try your approach though hopefully it will work.

Thanks Everyone for your responses!

I think you are in love with him and want to control him and he is having none of it and that is why you are acting like you do.

Rare Gem,
I am glad that he is not a threat...I, too, liked Lawgoddess's suggestion! LOL, Lawgoddess! You have mentioned hair style s before. I am curious, what is different about hair style s in Australia? You said the US is behind about 20 years when it comes to hair style s...LOL! (Not surprising). But, I am curious.

ITs a shame that DXP has screwed up a good thing! Do you have nothing better to do with your time than hawk over every treetrunking post— Yes, I guess the truth is a friend!

Wonderbox,
Correction I love him, I'm not in love with him. Don't you love your friends? That's just it though, we're just friends, so why it so hard for him to sever the relationship? I mean we're both seeing other people, he's even contemplating getting married, so what's the problem? I think he has abandonment issues.

RG,

I dont know why, but these questions always seem to rope me back in after I swear to myself, that I kiss this board goodbye!

The answer is , NO! I never had men 'friends' when I was involved in my own relationship! How does that work?? Aren't you being intimate and giving the male 'friend' your feelings??

Why do you need to spend time with a male friend when you have a SO?

I think it sounds and looks like just what it is! both of you are screwed up.

All this thought and concern about why he does this and why he does that? why do you care? He is grown, and he can do what he wants. He doenst need to consult with you! I think you should figure out your own mind, and worry about it. I have read all your messages about this matter and I think you dont know what you are doing?

The fact of the matter is, he is not with you. He is with someone else and so are you. Ask your SO how they feel about your friendship and see if they can give you some advice!

IMO, you are cheating on your SO! There is no difference. Live your life with integrity and you wont have any problems!

Now I have a problem. Maybe you can help me. I started a new job and I have this brother who is already hitting on me! Today he is like interviewing me for a possible wife or something. Asking me if I can cook and all kinds of weird stuff. I have always told people in the past that I am married so I could avoid this kind of situation. How can I blow him off when I have to work with him. Geez, I've only been there a week and already getting annoyed! Do you think I should not blow him off? I just dont want to date people I work with!

Oh! and he is always talking about having more money and wanting more power?? He asked me if I knew anybody or had any connections cause he wants to go to the top! Today he said he was gonna run for school superintendent because they make 80,000 a year. I couldnt help it; I just busted up laughin. He is only 29 years old so maybe I should let him know my age and that will take care of things!??

and this is for real, what y'all thinkin? Just be nice and if he get too personal what? I just want to do my job and enjoy it and not be bothered!

First thing Wonderbox,
You did not have to respond to me in that manner. If I'm screwed,than what does that make you— You don't tell a person off and than ask for their advice. I would advice him( your co-worker) though, not to deal with you because... I'm not even going to get in to that, but in the future if you have a problem with what I write do us both a favor and don't respond, it's just that simple.

Enjoy the rest of your night!

P.S.
And you said your man name was what, Oh, I forget you don't have one, don't worry you can have my friend. And for your information, I have not committed myself to a monogamous relationship, so I can have as many friends as I please.

Goodnight!

Wonderbox, I wonder about you sometimes.
I wonder if you'll ever get it.

Rare Gem,
You could be right...he could have abandonment issues...
Do you know any of the details of his childhood? There are the stages that one goes through as taught in Sociology...basic trust being the first issue....
I am a female Aquarius..
My biological father left my Mother during this stage of my life...I recall none of it...
Yet, my biggest issue in my life is learning to trust males!!
I don't know...
It's just a thought...

RG,

I didnt mean for you to hurt you feelings, but look, if you go back and read your original posts on both boards and then at the resonses and how you responded to the advice, I dont understand it! There is between you both alot of issues and yours is commitment and so is his and I dont think either one of you can be trusted.
As far as asking for advice,
I didnt think I had to preform a service in order ask a question for myself. I have answered you before and given you my feelings on things and I dont think it is too much asking you or anyone on this board to help me. This is why I give up. This is always going to be my fault. I have heard this for years! Everything is in any relationship with any person no matter how significant is my responsibility to make it work! I dont think so!

RG,

I think I know what you were going to say about the man in my office and I understand that. I heard someone say that "its not good to reject anyone because its like rejecting yourself" maybe this is not the same and I need to go back and re-read it. I dont date or even give the impression of flirting on the job. I know what to do. Just the same as I have always done! Listen to my instincts!!!

RG,

Maybe you are right! I dont need to be so blunt, but I really dont mean to hurt you only tell you my perspective and how I feel and what I think when I read your post. I dont think you should be so hard on your friend!!! Can you please tell me what it is he has done to make you so angry? You said he has lied and deceived you— Do you want to talk about it! I have been around a little bit and I might be able to help. I use to be pretty good at it(helping)! I hope you are ok, and I will be here for you if you want to talk to me. I will check back later.

WB

"Wonderbox, I wonder about you sometimes.
I wonder if you'll ever get it."

RG,

I wish you would explain to me what I am suppose to be getting! It is not very easy communication so indirectly sometimes!