Lesbians and Misogyny

Article: http://www.autostraddle.com/butch-please-butch-with-a-side-of-misogyny-174442/<BR>
[—I generally go out with two of my close friends who are also femme and we have been described, by a group of butches who were trying to chat us up, as the one with the boobs, the one with the legs, the one with the ass. When called on it and told why it was problematic one of them actually said —I'm not a dude, it's impossible for me to perpetuate the patriarchy.—?

—When I call butches on their misogyny, they say I am attacking their identity.??]

and

[Masculinity, as it is widely accepted in our society, isn't made to build community. It's made to arrange and reinforce hegemonic structures of power, and them??s the facts. I'm reminded of this when I see gatherings of butches become pissing contests and boys?? clubs, instead of the spaces for growth that they should be. I love groups like bklyn boihood, and I wish I could find more organizations and spaces where masculine-identified queers can empower each other with great conscience and care.

I was not always a butch. Femme was not a word I attached to myself because the period in which I wasn't masculine-presenting was a time when I was hesitant to attach just about anything to my too-visible bones, but it was a word that was often slung at my backside in queer spaces. I don't deny this time in my life, even if it is one of the more barbed memories I pull out of that dark bag. I still brag about how well I can walk in heels. My hourglass figure hasn't seen the light of day in years, but it looked damn good in a pencil skirt. When I was presenting in this way, I remember very distinctly the feeling of being passed between people. My agency was taken away from me, and it was just as terrifying when done by fellow queers as it was when it was men. There was a point when my sexual conduct became well-known within a wider queer social group and I found out three different people were discussing which one of them would be allowed to —have?? me next. They were all butches, by the way.]

Even with no dudes involved, still find ways to throw problems onto them/masculinity.

Posted by starlover

Posted by Prince_Pisces

Posted by starlover
I would love to be a lesbian.....men and women are doomed.....before we know it, we will all be on the turn


lol

Yeah, I feel bad for straight couples. Its awkward to watch you guys try to communicate LOL!

Totally...most make a total mess of it (like aliens from two different planets)

Men get men so much better and women get women ~~ i guess we may all *evolve* to being gay some day

lol

click to expand

that would be groovy, huh?

The end of humanity and all......

Posted by CapTenn

Posted by starlover

Posted by Prince_Pisces

Posted by starlover
I would love to be a lesbian.....men and women are doomed.....before we know it, we will all be on the turn


lol

Yeah, I feel bad for straight couples. Its awkward to watch you guys try to communicate LOL!

Totally...most make a total mess of it (like aliens from two different planets)

Men get men so much better and women get women ~~ i guess we may all *evolve* to being gay some day

lol

that would be groovy, huh?

The end of humanity and all......

click to expand

Just a bit. Unless they legalize cloning.

Posted by starlover
Yep the end of humanity....about time we tried something different

You first!

Yeah, I don't like butches for that very reason. For one, they think I'm a femme based purely on the length of my hair. In truth, I'm actually genderqueer, and people who like to make their voice sound deeper than it is, cut their hair short and wear clothes that are larger than what they should be don't appeal to me at all. Also and most importantly, it's bad enough to be expected to tolerate being objectified by dudes to have some woman doing the same.

[If you??re not familiar with the term, lesbian bed death is the phenomenon that is said to occur between long term lesbian couples where their sex life essentially comes to a screeching halt.

When I first heard about the possibility of lesbian bed death, I took a personal vow to do what ever could so that it wouldn't happen to my wife and I, and since then I have learned a lot about it.

The term —lesbian bed death?? itself was coined by sociologist Pepper Schwartz in her 1983 book —American Couples??. According to Schwartz, lesbians have less sex than any other type of couple, and they generally experience less sexual intimacy the longer the relationship lasts.]

Link: http://lezgetreal.com/2009/05/lets-talk-about-lesbian-bed-death/

Posted by Curiousram
Well I'm gay and honestly doesn't sound like my thing its either im in a relationship or im not...

You know what you want. Own it. Gay Male sex lives do get overexposed compared to most other things.