WaterCup
@WaterCup
14 Years10,000+ Posts
Comments: 712 · Posts: 13125 · Topics: 157
Pageant moms
Tiz,
personally I see it as them living their lives throu their kids & I think its selfish. Truth is, most of the moms are fat & whats a better way to feel good about yourself than to put your beautiful, slim child out there for the world to see. The other problem I have with it, I fear that the kids are being exposed to peadophiles because of how dolled up they look, the things they make them do on stage, etc. 3rdly, these kids may grow up thinking that beauty is all one needs to succeed in life. Have you seen how those kids cry when they dont win the big crown? I dont think its a fair thing to put a child throu.
personally I see it as them living their lives throu their kids & I think its selfish. Truth is, most of the moms are fat & whats a better way to feel good about yourself than to put your beautiful, slim child out there for the world to see. The other problem I have with it, I fear that the kids are being exposed to peadophiles because of how dolled up they look, the things they make them do on stage, etc. 3rdly, these kids may grow up thinking that beauty is all one needs to succeed in life. Have you seen how those kids cry when they dont win the big crown? I dont think its a fair thing to put a child throu.
Posted by ninjafish
I think it's pretty foul, but then again I just think they look hideous in all that garish makeup and clothing with the big, teased peroxide hair. Totally gross.
if they did it for fun then great, but most are so serious about it to the point of tanning their kids to look 'a nice brown colour', what does that tell the kids? It tells them that, the colour they are is not good enough to be considered adorable. That the way they are naturally just isnt enough, it needs a few enhancements. They even make them wear fake boobs!
The other thing, it teaches these girls to grow up looking at other girls as some sort of competition. We dont need that.
Posted by tiziani
It's not fair at the time but life is pretty fair and the rewards can make themselves known over time.
Obviously I agree you had valid points when it specifically comes to pageantry (mainly because I know nothing about that personally) and definitely when the parent is a bit of a slacker and yet wants the child to practice what they can't even preach with authority.
But other examples of living vicariously, I used to see all the time when my best friend was on the ATP tour in tennis.
Those are the biggest examples of parents driving their kids and pushing them to do something they could not. Tennis parents are vicious.
But the kids get a lot of benefits in tennis. Discipline, routine and a good foundation for later life. Yeah they kind of miss out on a childhood at points but if you see the guys I know now in their latter 20s etc, they have focus and drive like no one's business.
It's not all a one way street of being violated to be honest. It's good to have expectations and demands placed on you at early age, within reason.
i see your point, but 'skipped' childhood has its downfall too. Good example is Michael Jackson. He always talked about how much he felt isolated because of all these things he had to do while other kids were busy playing. Children should be allowed to be children & parents need to stop being selfish, chasing after recognition throu their kids and ruining their entire lives in the process. These things have a good side too eg. teaching a child some discipline etc, but it shouldnt be taken so rigidly to the point where the child's life is consumed by a hobby. Like all things in life, it should be done in moderation, but some parents are oblivious to that & only see fame and dollar signs everywhere.
Posted by ninjafish
I see the angle you're coming from tiz and tbh I kind of wish I'd been pushed academically as a child, but tennis and academics are different to beauty pageants. I would have been destroyed if my parents had started me competing with others over my looks and cuteness. Christ.
agree, but i have a problem with the word 'pushing'. Kids shouldnt be pushed to do anything, they'll find their own niche in life given enough time to discover what that is. You dont need to push when there's genuine passion for something, they just do it without cheers.
Posted by tiziani
so you both don't see any risk of living vicariously through your children? You're totally ruling out the possibility of that happening?
no. I may encourage my child to do THINGS *HE* LIKES & not fulfill my own lost dreams through him. Its his life and not mine. My duty as a mom is to be there and make sure HIS DREAMS come true.
Posted by ninjafish
Let's just say I will be tougher on my own kids than my parents were on me. I ran RINGS around my parents and they are the first to admit that.
yeah kids need boundaries, total freedom is never good for anybody. No rebels without a cause lol.
Posted by sand
my dad lived vicariously through me via sports. i played ball for him. it's not something i'm very passionate about coz i dislike team sports.
how did that make you feel, knowing you were doing it for your dad? And how did he feel about the things you actually liked doing?
Posted by Pecheresse
It's ridiculous..Parents who turn their kids into extensions of themselves should be punished.
exactly! Kids are a sort of extension of ourselves cause they copy what we do, but they shouldnt be our creation. They have different lifepaths & should be allowed to follow their own callings.
I hate those parents who say "i want my child to be a doctor" & not caring if the said child wants to be one or not. Most success people are what they are in fields that their parents didnt want them to follow and those who made a success in their parents' dream careers are forever unhappy.
Posted by tiziani
"Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth."
Always time for a little KG in the morning
i 2nd this. It should be on birth certificates all over the globe lol.
Posted by PecheressePosted by WaterCupPosted by Pecheresse
It's ridiculous..Parents who turn their kids into extensions of themselves should be punished.
exactly! Kids are a sort of extension of ourselves cause they copy what we do, but they shouldnt be our creation. They have different lifepaths & should be allowed to follow their own callings.
My mother was Miss Switzerland back in her days, so when I was born, she would raise me as her little princess, because looks were so much more important than what is inside, you know.... for a while, I would be the extension of her, with no identity of my own. Same for the job. She's always wanted to become a lawyer so would force me into the lawyer's career when I wouldn't give a fuck about it. In fact and subconsciously, she made me hate whatever is aesthetically correct without any depth. It goes for people, too. Luckily for me, I chose a different path, but I know how some people can pick careers just to get the approval or eternal love of their parents. It can destroy someone's identity forever.click to expand
omg @ your last line & yes! It destroys you on the inside no doubt. My dad always pushed me to do commercial subjects at school, I wasnt good at any of them & always felt like a failure because I couldnt master the only thing that made him proud. It ate me up & when he died I was happy, not gonna lie cause for once I could be me. I'm sorry you went throu that with your mom. Some parents just arent fit to be parents.
Posted by sandPosted by WaterCupPosted by sand
my dad lived vicariously through me via sports. i played ball for him. it's not something i'm very passionate about coz i dislike team sports.
how did that make you feel, knowing you were doing it for your dad? And how did he feel about the things you actually liked doing?
i liked hanging out with the team actually and the prestige so i liked that part of it but my captain never thanked me for my passion and dedication to the sport lulz! i honestly preferred to wait for a fight and immediately jump out of the bench if one broke out. i'm a first house mars. i suppose i needed some outlet. i switched to soccer when i transferred schools and eventually judo in college which i had more success in.
my dad wasn't very present. he's an ox year sag sun. work or women were his deal and his own sports/ games which were just a tuesday session with his high school classmates. sometimes i'd go and score half the team's points and talk all that macho crap but ehh. we are actually both point guards. so if i play with him i have to move to forward. i could also have anything i wanted as long as it was sports related so i suppose i did feel supported in that matter. overall not that bad. could have been more present but it is what it is.
i notice there's a lot of father-son tandems in sports anyway. tiger woods. an uncle of mine who used to be the most famous athlete in the country before paquiao. michael jordan... so i suppose on some level it should be healthy but not a prerequisite of sporting success. i.e. lebron james who is fatherless correct me if i'm wrong.click to expand
lol @ the fighting, but cool at least it didnt mess you up & not something totally off field (pun intended lol). So, he was absent, huh? I know some guys who grew up fatherless & most seem to think that if their fathers were present throughout their lives, life would have been different. Total bs imho. Do you have the same mind?
*same mindset
Posted by PecheressePosted by WaterCupPosted by PecheressePosted by WaterCupPosted by Pecheresse
It's ridiculous..Parents who turn their kids into extensions of themselves should be punished.
exactly! Kids are a sort of extension of ourselves cause they copy what we do, but they shouldnt be our creation. They have different lifepaths & should be allowed to follow their own callings.
My mother was Miss Switzerland back in her days, so when I was born, she would raise me as her little princess, because looks were so much more important than what is inside, you know.... for a while, I would be the extension of her, with no identity of my own. Same for the job. She's always wanted to become a lawyer so would force me into the lawyer's career when I wouldn't give a fuck about it. In fact and subconsciously, she made me hate whatever is aesthetically correct without any depth. It goes for people, too. Luckily for me, I chose a different path, but I know how some people can pick careers just to get the approval or eternal love of their parents. It can destroy someone's identity forever.
omg @ your last line & yes! It destroys you on the inside no doubt. My dad always pushed me to do commercial subjects at school, I wasnt good at any of them & always felt like a failure because I couldnt master the only thing that made him proud. It ate me up & when he died I was happy, not gonna lie cause for once I could be me. I'm sorry you went throu that with your mom. Some parents just arent fit to be parents.click to expand
Actually it destroys and makes you narcissistic and vulnerable... Like you go for being the daughter of someone overbearing, to going out in the wild world, that is not going to spare your pretty face. It's the real life that toughens up. That's why narcissistic people are deluded.Without anyone around to project themselves upon, they're just an empty shell full of regrets.
Your dad alienated the whole father/daughter interaction you guys could of had. It's so futile to push a kid in one direction that is not the right one. It's so disrespectful too. I know tha
Posted by tiziani
I think, when enough time passes, we always end up being like our parents. Particularly when we fight against it. It's in the blood, and when blood boils (particularly through fighting against the tide) the character rises to the surface. That's what Moon signs are all about in opposition to our Sun Signs right?
And when we get to enjoy parenthood ourselves, that's when we really see our ancestors come out in ourselves. That's what happened to my sister.
Just hope we learn from their mistakes to add our own unique twist onto the legacy.
not totally true, but i'll take it. My mother was a sweetheart, but had her cuntery days lol, virgo no less & I see myself being just like her in some things. I like things done to perfection, etc. My dad is the one I dont really want to be like. He was a cold man who only showed love & affection when I passed at school. I always came 1st in my classes because it made him happy, but i wasnt happy. What an asshole! From him I learned to love my kid regardless of what i see as failure.
Posted by sand
nah i wouldn't listen. i was uncontrollable in my youth. pluto conj asc. fuck i'm uncontrollable now.
he's still not very present with my younger half brother now. my bro is like the sports beadle of the honor section lulz! he wouldn't be into sports at all if it wasn't for my dad's sag influence. he is a huge gamer, typical piscean male. but then he's an aries mars so idk maybe he likes some movement. he's a much sweeter kid than me that's for sure. easier chart.
yall at least turned out fine & thats good to hear. Many bad guys tend to blame their fucked up behavior on being fatherless & I always suspected it to be chicken shit cause there are many successful men who grew up without dads ie. Judge Mathis. He was bad too, but turned his life around because he wanted to & nothing to do with some sperm donor.
I feel a little bit sorry for the kids who grow up in pageants. I imagine quite a lot of them grow up thinking looks are important. They're praised for how they look and what they wear. Putting value in to the wrong kind of things. I can imagine some of those kids growing up to be self-centered, shallow bitches. Then again, if their parents were the ones who made them do that kind of stuff, then they probably wouldn't be safe from growing into a bad attitude, anyway, since their parents would display similar qualities. Not all the time, though. And, all I have to base any of this on is the shows they have on tv where all the kids have really bad attitudes, already. Not many off media situations.
I wish my parents had made me do something as a kid, but I personally think pageants should be at the bottom of the list, if at all. Maybe music or sports. Sports would keep me in shape and be fun to spend with friends and music would be a nice hobby and a talent to be proud of.
I wish my parents had made me do something as a kid, but I personally think pageants should be at the bottom of the list, if at all. Maybe music or sports. Sports would keep me in shape and be fun to spend with friends and music would be a nice hobby and a talent to be proud of.
Posted by sand
oh i'm not bad at all. i was super studious, mini hitler running for class president, never absent kind of kid. i've read about it. psychologically i'm an only child of divorced parents and there is a seriousness to them because they only have grown ups as comparison. i.e. leonardo dicaprio. gilbert grape wherein he played a retard was a mature performance for his age. my problem is i was given total freedom in school, like picking college, my life style ... i could smoke/ drink, i could bring girls home, i could drive when i shouldn't... i never fucked up so they thought i was alright but i almost do not know how to follow anyone's will but my own. that's not good.
were u a beauty pageant contestant? i'm sorry i called your mom indirectly tacky btw lulz!
would you give your own kids that much freedom? To do as they please. No, im almost dwarf to be in any kind of beauty pegeant lol, unless it was a Miss Midget contest, i'd win, hands down😄
Posted by sewdope
Pageants are disturbing when they have little kids in them. I can understand teenagers but I really can't with the babies all done up with fake hair, tans, revealing outfits. It's too much. A pedos dream...
I think some pushing is good for like sports, dance, music, etc... but all in good taste. If the kid wants to quit to pursue something else, that should be fine with the parent. I don't like seeing parents push their kids when they clearly aren't interested in that thing anymore. I appreciate that about my mom. She let me try all sorts of crap.
+1
Posted by Scenic
I feel a little bit sorry for the kids who grow up in pageants. I imagine quite a lot of them grow up thinking looks are important. They're praised for how they look and what they wear. Putting value in to the wrong kind of things. I can imagine some of those kids growing up to be self-centered, shallow bitches. Then again, if their parents were the ones who made them do that kind of stuff, then they probably wouldn't be safe from growing into a bad attitude, anyway, since their parents would display similar qualities. Not all the time, though. And, all I have to base any of this on is the shows they have on tv where all the kids have really bad attitudes, already. Not many off media situations.
I wish my parents had made me do something as a kid, but I personally think pageants should be at the bottom of the list, if at all. Maybe music or sports. Sports would keep me in shape and be fun to spend with friends and music would be a nice hobby and a talent to be proud of.
i love this post. +1
I cant see that now, sweetekh. What did you post?
Posted by sandPosted by WaterCupPosted by sand
oh i'm not bad at all. i was super studious, mini hitler running for class president, never absent kind of kid. i've read about it. psychologically i'm an only child of divorced parents and there is a seriousness to them because they only have grown ups as comparison. i.e. leonardo dicaprio. gilbert grape wherein he played a retard was a mature performance for his age. my problem is i was given total freedom in school, like picking college, my life style ... i could smoke/ drink, i could bring girls home, i could drive when i shouldn't... i never fucked up so they thought i was alright but i almost do not know how to follow anyone's will but my own. that's not good.
were u a beauty pageant contestant? i'm sorry i called your mom indirectly tacky btw lulz!
would you give your own kids that much freedom? To do as they please. No, im almost dwarf to be in any kind of beauty pegeant lol, unless it was a Miss Midget contest, i'd win, hands down😄
yeah i would. At least the boys. But im not one for kids. Ima big kid myself with my leo moon. Sure i dont play video games or dress hip but my emotional responses are childish. Selfish even. My dad settled down again late so he never rushes me into marriage and kids.
click to expand
cool. But, you do want some in the future, right?
@Poisson, i agree with your 2nd paragraph & thanks i'll google the fights lol.
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