Random good points....

Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles..

I wish Google Maps/GPS had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option..

More often that not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.

Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where
you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.

Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no Internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out..todays kids are soft.

Sometimes I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the fck was going on when I first saw it.

Mapquest/GPS really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?

My 4 year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the hell do I respond to that?

Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVD's? I don't want to have to restart my collection.

I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

The only time I look forward to a red light is when I am trying to finish a text.

Why is it that during an ice breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from,this shouldn't be a problem

You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for

the rest of the day.

Whenever I'm on Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!

I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired

Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my azz everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time.

I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when its on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.

I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damn*t!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

looking at a test and thinking, "when did we learn this?"

There's a "Send", there's a "Resend", but why can't there be an "Unsend"?

I wish my memories came with "??_ Save", "?_' Delete" and "?? Play" buttons

As soon as the headphones are in, I'm in my own little world

typing a huge paragraph with your true feelings but then erasing it and typing "yup"

"Dude,Your whipped." "Oh,sorry I don't treat my girlfriend like shit."