12th House Moon is Emotionally Detached

Apparently, I am quite elusive emotionally. I shall blame my 12th house placements (specifically 12th house moon)...Neptune sucks. And the fact that I'm a Taurus doesn't help either I suppose.

The Scorp's post about shrugging is indicative of my style of communication...when it comes to self. I didn't realize/recognize it but I suppose I'm not very expressive when it comes to what's going on with me. I'm generally, "fine." I don't see the need in bitching/complaining about what's going on in my personal life. I abhor other people being in my business. I like to process my thoughts and emotions alone.

In relationships, I absorb others emotions while keeping my own hidden...

In talking to other people, I am very open to their issues, their situations...helping them through their woes. I find people willingly open up to me and feel safe enough to be vulnerable so I end up learning a lot about them and yet, when asked, "how are you doing," I invariably dodge the question or will limit my responses to just the facts. It's as if I instantly process what is relevant for them to know. Does this knowledge help them in any way? If it doesn't, why bother sharing?

Even when I do choose to discuss me in detail, it's generally measured and I will always sway the conversation back to them. In a way, I'd make a great counselor/therapist as I can remain detached personally while simultaneously being invested in the life of another.

Long story short, this drives Catfish and his Scorpio placements nuts. I didn't realize how much it bothered him until recently and I honestly wasn't aware of my natural tendency to evade...I thought I was being open. He is angered that he is unable to figure me out, that he doesn't know what I feel, he wants to gain a deeper understanding of me.

The irony is, I feel that I'm doing exactly what he naturally does as a Sun Sign fishy...I just happen to be better at it 😛

I do wish to be more open and vulnerable but the thoughts in my head and heart are my own. The "shrug" that the Scorp alluded to for me is more about being out of touch with whatever it is I'm feeling. Can one feel "nothing?" I don't mean in a psychopath sorta way...in a 12th House Moon sorta way.

I feel deeply or strongly but expressing those emotions, putting them into words, pinning them down is very hard. I can't say it plainly so the proverbial "shrug" suffices. If I don't know how I feel, why waste your time and mine sorting through the quagmire in my head?



So my questions are these...

Pisces have difficulty expressing emotion. Have loved ones/partners ever expressed concern about your being emotionally evasive?

What have you done/what makes it easier for you to "let them in?"

When your partner asks you "what are you feeling/thinking," how do you express yourself in such a way that you don't come across as a detached or withholding?



I ask because the reality is, I'm just being me. I'm not attempting to harm him or make him feel insecure in our relationship. I would like to learn how to better express my emotion but again, I can't tell him something that I can't quite put my finger on.

I mean, the only reason I know that I'm sad is when I laugh. Like, if I haven't truly laughed or had profound joy in a while, it dawns on me how sad I've truly been.

I'm hoping that a mature fishy can help point me in the right direction?

Running to check my 12th house....

I'm not 12th house Moon.. so I'm a slightly milder version of the "withholding".. the Fishy parts haha I do (or did) everything you describe AND thought I was being open. Many years ago, someone once looked me right in the eye, interrupting me, and said, "You tell nothing, you know. No one reaches you. You SEEM like an open book, nothing to hide, but you are revealing NOTHING personal about YOU, nothing of any significance whatsoever.. why don't you ever let people in?" I was absolutely flabbergasted. I had known him less than a day, we'd spent hours and hours talking... and he knocked me flat with something NO ONE ever noticed or said to me. He was a Scorpio, and his name was Gene. I never saw him again.. but never forgot him cutting through the Fishy fog and challenging me with it. He was the first, but not the last.

Pisces have difficulty expressing emotion. Have loved ones/partners ever expressed concern about your being emotionally evasive?
Uh, yes. And my Libra found me "unknowable" and fought so hard and so long to be let in. Fought, begged, pleaded, all he could think of.. he was pretty much at his wit's end and ready to leave me for it, our relationship was suffering badly.

What have you done/what makes it easier for you to "let them in?"
I started small, just little things, ignoring how DUMB it felt (at first) to say, "I feel happy today. I missed the sunshine." Or, "I felt so sad for those guys that died when that oil rig blew up." Or, "I feel bouncy, and want to enjoy the nice weather. Take a walk with me?" Or, "The rain feels so dreary and gray."

When your partner asks you "what are you feeling/thinking," how do you express yourself in such a way that you don't come across as a detached or withholding?
I started small, until I can express ANYTHING - good or bad, and I stick with feelings. How *I* am actually *feeling*. Not what HE did/said/etc.. nothing of HIM, just of ME... an actual emotion.. sad, happy, frustrated.. even bad, angry, insulted... tired, excited, goofy, blah. I avoid the "thinking abouts" usually.. that's more like.. info exchange, and is way more detached. Expressing emotions you FEEL will let a man in.. handing out info only will erect a wall and make him feel pushed away.

At least, in my experience. *smile*

Yes, aPP.. but there IS a way around the "Whatcha thinking?" question, that actually works better... the Pisces Mercury IS a bit cloudy.. so practice centering, and FEELING what you are feeling, and then speaking it.. "Oh, I was thinking about needing to do the laundry.. but I'm feeling so tired and lazy today."... Or, "I was thinking about that overcharge on the cell phone bill. That makes me feel so frustrated and angry when you can't reach a real live person to fix something.".. Or, "Oh, I was just daydreaming. Sometimes that feels so nice and relaxing." Or, "Nothing, really.. but what I was FEELING is that I'd really love to kiss you right now."

^^ Doing that will take the "meaningless small talk" and turn it into "meaningful and effective conversation that lets him in" 😉

^^ aPP's (and my) Pisces Mercury VS your Aries one? Or are you saying YOUR Pisces Mercury that all your Aries hates? Cuz I don't remember what you have lol

HA! No wonder I think you're a prick! lol

Love you? Heh. Love to wind duct tape around your head 😛

Like my Aries son.. kid should make it to 16.. that's only a few weeks away.. but 17's pretty iffy 😛

More like scorches my Earth.. I've got LOTS o' Taurus in major planets haha
Fire guys burn me up usually.. and not in a good way (well, that too!)
Water drowns me - for a Pisces, I lack much Water.
Air and Earth guys for me.
Without Aqua Venus, mind you, cuz that's grounds for homicide.

But aPP can have you -- you're barely older than my children, Grasshoppa!
Plus, you need her sweetness to dull your too-sharp edges 😄

And I DO love the Watery Ram ♥

Unfortunately, no. My Aries son HAS a Pisces Mercury!! And that MIGHT be the one thing that saves him from the dreaded Aqua Venus AND Moon! 😕 Maybe the Leo Mars helps too. Otherwise, he'd probably be one robotic Aries. Instead.. he's QUITE emotional... just needs to rein in that Fire and learn self-control. But I think the Aqua will certainly assist him with that.

Wait.. maybe.. my younger Tau daughter has WAYYYY too much Aries.. yes, Mercury too.

Communication IS a battle for us sometimes.. she's sensitive and stubborn and emotional.. highly opinionated and impatient, bigtime. I guess I "come at" her a lot more gently but straight on... I can't use my Air to appeal to her logic, like I can with my son.. she's almost entirely emotion (just Fire, not Water).. action-based, wants answers, solutions to problems.. not theories. I have to show I understand her pov and ask IF she wants my opinion or my advice.. IF she does, I give it.. clear, concise, short and sweet.. can't go off on a tangent like me and my son can.. she'll get fed up and literally say she's finished, gotta go.

Yes, she's "always right"... seriously.. even when she's wrong.. it takes her processing it for hours and coming back to apologize for her error. She blindly defends her stance, period, won't back down. Might SHUT DOWN and stalk off, but won't concede defeat. She'll come back later, though. (Pisces Mars haha!)

The thing is.. SHE'S had to learn to tone down her brash bluntness with ME.. if she wants heard and considered.. she can't come at me like that. Cuz I'm pretty damned bullheaded myself, and won't be disrespected.

How does that help the Peri and the aPP? Iunno.. aPP maybe needs to understand that your Aries makes you harsher than you probably intended, and a gentle reminder might help. You need to realize that you can't come at her the same way as you normally do, not if you want good results. neither of you is wrong, neither of you is better than the other.. you're just different.

*shrug* You remind me of my Aries-saturated children. You remind me of my Fire-bathed Leo ex.. you remind me of the Sag guy who's had a crush on me for 10 years, great guy.. too much Fire. You remind me of my Sag ex -- can't see eye to eye, though we've been friends for over 20 years. Love my kids, love my Fire friends -- doesn't work romantically. And yes, it's ME, not them. I'm the common denominator. The Fire ANNOYS me.. it's like.. "infant energy".. it's like "Sit the fuck down already, sheesh!" or "WHO do you think you are?! OUT of my face, NOW!"

Fire guys are too Fiery for me. Attractive, sure.. what woman doesn't like a powerful, manly, action-oriented man? But it never works.. I don't have *enough* complimentary Fire or even Air, I guess. My Earth planets are strong. So, scorched earth.

And you, Peri.. you're an Aries trying to pass for Pisces. Straight up. There's very little "Fishy" in you... you remind me of a male version of my Tau daughter - she's an Aries trying to pass for a Bullette! Love her, but wanna strangle her some days haha

Her Virgo has Virgo Mercury, Gemini Moon, Libra Venus.. he's ALL logic.. she's ALL fiery emotion (Aries Moon, Merc, Venus).. and her Fire feeds his Air and vice versa... but yeah, I think she scorches his earth sometimes. Fortunately for my brash, fiery daughter.. the man thinks she hung the moon, even if she baffles him. His Cancer Mars looooves her Pisces Mars *wink*

^^ My Aries son absolutely needs to stay physically active and busy, or he can't even stand himself. And sets MY teeth on edge. When he gets bitchy, I send him outside.. anything active or athletic he does, and does well.

Also, Tubbz is definitely a woman, but the two of you will never see eye to eye, she'll always see your cocky arrogance as immaturity, you'll always see her inflexibility and stubbornness the same way.. a Bull and a Ramfish locking horns indeed!

I GET Tubbz.. our common ground is the Taurus.. probably the ONLY thing that saves you and me is that leeetle teeny tiny bit of common ground (Pisces).. otherwise, I might hate you for real and put you and your chinchilla/hamster shit on ignore. 😛

thanks ladies.

i will work on using "i think/feel" statements. according to what i read on 12th house moons, we use consistency/monotony/ritualistic routines to create emotional stability. the consistency allows us to believe one day is like the next and therefore, "nothing" feels like an honest response when in reality, the walls may be crumbling down.

i guess the consistency/rituals are sorta like my way of erecting an emotional shelter day-to-day. i'm stable even if the world isn't and wants me to be unstable right along with it. add my natural taurean walls to my 12th house walls and i obviously am more impenetrable than i realized.

Catfish is the first person to actually question my nature and where I am learning a lot more about myself and what i do via astrology, it's still very difficult pinning down when/how i'm dodging him. with practice, hopefully i get better with letting him in.