Am I the only person in the world.....

Who Doesn't believe you can find your "better half" on a dating site? And I'm certainly not judging it just personally feels like a disorder to me. I don't think fate, destiny, and providence live on the same block with technology.

Destiny can come from anywhere with the same effect

I agree, but maybe for different reasons. I don't feel any connections over the internet and that initial lack of a connection ruins it for me. I also don't believe in searching for love. I believe I will find someone special by him just walking into my life or vice versa. With internet dating, everything is premeditated, even people's reasons for talking to you.

Right! its the active search for love thats like nails on a chalk board. I cant wrap my mind around it.

Actively searching online is as unaffective as actively searching in RL if you are focusing on your lack of having a lover.

On the other hand, joining a dating sight with positively in mind, and not desperation, if it is in right timing to meet a certain person, maybe they will also be on the site and message you, no different than that person could bump into you at the bank and be inspired to start a convo.

It's all about intention.

I DO however agree that it is infinitely harder to feel someone out online for chemistry, which is so important for us pisces and I would imagine, other water signs.

I met my bf online.... actually, my best friend posted an ad for me without my knowing and weeded out the creepers and forced me to talk to SOMEONE. haha. so I was sorting through the replies, I saw his picture and the only reason I started talking to him was because he reminded me of an old friend of mine and when I met up with him I met him with the intention of just making a new friend...

It is kind of hard to have chemistry through the internet. Thats why we started talking for a little bit through text and I decided "ok I don't think hes a creepy killer" and met up. 🙂 turns out he lived right down the street from me, imagine that!

Posted by PiscesFebFish
Right! its the active search for love thats like nails on a chalk board. I cant wrap my mind around it.

I'm glad someone else understands!

Also, I do think there is a very slight possibility of meeting someone you really connect with online, but in my opinion, that chance is too slim to be worth much to me. I can comes to terms with that I may find a long term relationship online, but not a soulmate or someone I'd spend the rest of my life with from online.

Once upon a time I've corresponded with a couple... well "interests" that resided in Europe. One ended in disaster... and the others were eroded by time and disinterest. Such mistakes to have clung to misconception... ignorance... desperation. And when you're desperate... you'll grasp at the very shred of one's interest in you and turn it into something it's not. Was/Is my heart hungry... or was/am I telling it that it is?

Can't say that it's not possible for this to happen. Just.. not in the way it did with me and the parties involved. Though I did take some silly test once... and it said that I'd meet my romantic soul-mate online someday. Currently, I think that's bullshit... but *shrug*. Who the fuck knows.

I think you will more likely find a soulmate on internet than IRL. It's a big world out there. I met my ex online and eventually moved 231 miles for her. Even if our relationship didn't work out it still lasted for a couple of years, we're still best friends and moving to this part of the country was the best thing that happened to me.

She's the only one who truly knows me inside and out, we have so much in common and well... without internet we would never have met.

You don't think putting on a sexy dress, makeup , doing your hair, spraying on perfume and going to a club, pub or bar as actively searching for love?

I prefer internet dating for quite a few reasons;


Men/Women on the internet are usually educated.

You can determine a person's ability to form rational, logical thoughts.

There is no alcohol involved, therefore reducing the numbers of drunken interactions.

You can get to know someone without all the pressure. You don't connect simply stop talking to them.

Lastly, I have made many a terrible decision based on physical appearances. I might even fall into the shallow category. I am less concerned with that via the world wide web.

Posted by PiscesFebFish
Right! its the active search for love thats like nails on a chalk board. I cant wrap my mind around it.

When is the last time you found something you weren't looking for—?

I dont actively search for love because its not a priority. If its meant for me to find my "soul mate" I personally believe it will happen, not necessarily by the click of a mouse. And as I stated earlier, I'm not judging so please dont attack, I'm just sharing my feelings on the matter. I know a few couples who met online and are either married, living together or just geniunely happy. And when I get dressed up to go out its not with the intention of attracking a man. I look lovely picking up eggs but thats because I love being a woman and I like to look my best at all times. Do I get hit on, absolutely and more often than not I decline advances because my goal in life is not marriage or babies- its inner peace and being content. When you know you've met the one, you just know and I feel like when it happens I will know. I just dont seek it out.

@PiscesFebFish: Who said anything about "searching for love by the clock of a mouse?". One happens to find love online just as one does IRL. I found it on a forum not unlike DXP.

Ok,so is everyone suggesting that without the interwebs there would be more single people in the world?

But enfant_terrible, we are talking about searching. You just happened to meet someone on a forum, I could just meet someone at a gas station, grocery store, sex party, whatever. We are talking about people who set up profiles, add pictures, their resume and CV all in the hope of finding their mate. Big difference!

Not that I've ever been on one... but dates seem like job interviews. At least in the way they are portrayed in those online dating commercials. You then set a date to meet the other for mutual assessment - hoping to not fail and 'get the job'. Like it's some... sales pitch to sell yourself to the other person. Very linear, formal, and forced.

Ellybean, I have a coworker who moved to my state and she used a dating site to meet new people. Her current boyfriend is ok but he's def not the one. She really liked the last guy but he was a Pisces who lacked direction. I tried to warn her about male fish, they are not stellar like us ladies.

I can totally relate to that. I was a freshman in college when chat rooms were popular and I met some of the best people online and IRL. I guess what I don't understand is making a conscious decision to say, I'm lonely I want to meet someone, I want a boyfriend, girlfriend, I want to get married, I want a family so I'm going to go online. I get that everyone wants some form of connection and companionship, but is it a weakness to not accept being single? What is so wrong with being content by yourself that you have to search for someone else?

I hear you there. Since I'm still young, I'm familiar with people always wanting to be in a relationship. I hate when people date just to date or to cure their lonliness/without feelings. I've seen my friends get into relationship after relationship and were not single for more than a few weeks at a time. I've also gotten used to people who come to my workplace complain about "I wish I had a boyfriend so he could buy me this" and other things that scream of relationships for other purposes than genuinely liking the person.
To me it just seems that now a days (or in my generation) people are more likely to be in relationships for more trivial reasons like money, sex, status/to show off, to throw emotions on them, etc, than feelings. I don't like it.

Posted by Ellybean
Plus just look at the movies and books that sell the most. Romance and drama. There's a lot of subtle psychological influence to manipulate simple human desire for companionship into the masses of marriage obsessed women that exist.

Music & Art also.

As here we have a whole damned culture confined to this way of thinking. Thinking that it's true 'love' that we're 'feeling' - or rather it's how we think we're feeling. But what the hell do I know.

Tell that to my mother, she's always trying to marry me off 🙂 Even though its not better, I think its more acceptable for women to have the need to be with someone. What I find really disturbing is a man dying to be in a relationship. I've had a few male friends like that and I joke and say "Are you sure you're not just horny" lol

In reality, every person already has a concept of what love means to them, and in EVERY case where the potential for love to exist, or develop ... this pre-determined requisite becomes the foundation on which every person stands to measure whether the other party is love worthy or not, according to these very terms you've already decided upon.

So, it doesn't really matter where this person comes from, or how you meet, or if you are even actively searching .... for when the opportunity for love to exist becomes present, every person attempts to apply thier concept of love in place, with purposes of having the other party portray the part.

If they cannot be that character you've decided upon then the relationship fails ... if they can play the part of that character, then the relationship will run it's course, until one of the parties changes the script.


Where the person comes from, how you meet them is irrelevant .... the only thing really relevant in love is gratification in knowing that your terms and conditions are being met.

@P-Angel, I agree with your second paragraph but not necessarily the rest. @Capgirl, you are right in the sense that most people want companionship. I've been single for many years by choice. I turn down most offers and I don't date in the traditional sense, I would much rather hang out as buddies and see where it goes from there. I have moments where I think how nice it would be to have a deep connection with a lover, but I'm also extraordinarly self-centered so the thought of having to give back what I want is not appealing. I can't be bothered with another persons needs and wants on a daily basis but mostly because I haven't met someone and had a deep desire to change. I suspect that I will always value my freedom over the confines of relationship until I'm blessed to have a relationship that doesn't make me feel trapped. So.....I guess I'm not hard wired to seek companionship when the desire for it is so fleeting. Also Capgirl, dating does get trickier as you get older but the benefit is the wisdom to cut through the bullshit. You probably won't be one of these simpering females wondering about a guy who doesn't call or text, or asking help to define his actions based on an astrological sign. And I'm not knocking that either, it's just age will make you say fuck it before you question why.

Well, its obvious that I've never been in love and its sad, but it is what it is. I understand the temptation to get a different POV when you are interested in someone. I've been tempted plenty of times but I'm kinda ADD when it comes to men 🙂

I've come to this conclusion too. I'm just browsing the photo's. 😛