Believing the best in other vs being used...

OK so I really struggle with this.

Forget it being anything to do with being Pisces this is who I am. My friends will often tell me I need to toughen up, stop making excuses for other people etc.

I can't disagree with them and yet..........I really struggle with taking the hard line with some people because I am well aware of how I've fucked up in the past, the mistakes I've made. And yet I remind myself daily of the person I would like to be, tolerant of others, forgiving, non-judgmental etc. because at the end of the day the people who I believe have wronged me............do I really know them? Is it up to me to judge them?

So I always tend to try and keep an open mind but to those who love me and care about me, they see it as a weakness. That I'm too soft. That I let people walk all over me.

The point I am trying to make is, where is the line between having compassion for others or just knowing that someone is actually just a shit human being?

I always hear Pisces talk about the "evolved" Piscean and our renowned intuition but I really struggle with this. My heart tells me one thing and my head tells me another. Perhaps it's the curse of having a water sun and an air moon and strong air in the chart. I have to analyse EVERYTHING and find it really hard to trust my gut. I feel something and think yep that's how I feel but then I start to think about it and wonder if I'm being unfair because of how I feel?

All insights welcome!

Hey Miss P...

Well my sun sign is pisces but I do have tons of earth in my chart in a total of 6 placements (4 in virgo and 2 in taurus). I have equal amount of water and fire (3 placements) and 1 air. So I COMPLETELY get what you mean by your head and heart saying 2 different things. When that happens mostly for me my head is so wrong and my heart is right. When I mean my heart I'm not talking about my emotions (that's when I'm so freaking wrong it's ridulous), I mean my instincts. That comes from my heart... like a warming sensation and a pull. Like a little fairy (for lack of a better word) lights up like tinkerbell and whispers to me. But sometimes she just doesn't work she is latent. So that's when the virgo kicks in an analyzes everything.

I try my hardest to give others the benefit of the doubt and not to judge. Sometimes I'm able to and some times not. Virgos can be harsh judges so... yeah. Most of the time I'll keep that to myself unless I'm pissed off then yeah it comes out big time.

I notice this from my Pisces aunts, that they both are very lenient and understanding of the mistakes that we all make.

I think it's a very good quality to have. The only thing is that some people take advantage and it enables them to continue to make mistakes knowing they will be coddled again and again.

Being firm and directing someone in the right direction is not being critical or judgmental imho. There are possibilities that they may not be aware of when they've hurt you or others, but if it's brought to their attention and the same mistakes keep happening, then that person has issues and nothing is wrong with keeping a distance.

Just be yourself.

If there were no givers..no kind souls..no one to reach out to those in need and believe utterly in someone else..this world would be one sorry assed place. Never apologize for who you are. Embrace it. Truly if you sat down and thought about it, even if the words were uttered as a kindness to you. The same people that want you to *toughen up* are the same ones that enjoy the actions you put forth. Be you MissP, there's only one of you after all. xx

There is a difference between judgement and self-protection...

You can except someone for who they are and the choices they make... but you do not have to put up with someone's character or their choices if they are affecting your life in a negative manner.

In order for these two concepts to co-exist, personal boundaries can be put into place as well as putting yourself and your best interest first. If the people who love and care about you recognize a pattern within you that they don't understand, it is probably only the effect of this pattern that concerns them. Do the effects concern you?

Posted by 1urbanicblue

Posted by lnana04
I notice this from my Pisces aunts, that they both are very lenient and understanding of the mistakes that we all make.

I think it's a very good quality to have. The only thing is that some people take advantage and it enables them to continue to make mistakes knowing they will be coddled again and again.

Being firm and directing someone in the right direction is not being critical or judgmental imho. There are possibilities that they may not be aware of when they've hurt you or others, but if it's brought to their attention and the same mistakes keep happening, then that person has issues and nothing is wrong with keeping a distance.

i agree on bold. i think it's a pattern people develop.

i have pisces's aunts too but, they never get stepped on. my capricorn grandmum lived with her until she finished her uni degree and even made sure she married right!! lol. (capricorn influence is good for family and though coldhearted to some, they have to be hard) and now she's living what most ppl dream of: meaning, she has a successful career, a successful marriage and beautiful kids and still keeps her loving compassionate nature. i think my grandmother has alot to do with it. she used to fuss over me too, and tell me how to live my life so that success will always come my way. or anyone's way in her family.

basically what i'm saying is that, good family upbringing helps.
but if you didnt have a good family upbringing (ie, dysfunctional) most ppl have to get through this life through inner strength. thats where believing in something helps.

click to expand

Caps worry a lot, and your grandmum probably worried of your aunts compassionate nature being taken advantage of. It's an extremely tough world, and Caps want to make sure their loved ones can survive, so if they have to be extremely hard at home just to get that point across, then they will play the role.

My much older Aries co-worker had a Cap mom, and the day after she graduated high school she moved out on her own because she couldn't take her mom anymore lol, but she was able to survive moving from Alabama to New York at 17 because of what was instilled in her. She later appreciated that.

I tell my mother and sister all the time, it's good to be nice but nothing is wrong with being sele

being selective about who you go out of your way for. I don't believe in being extremely nice to, or going out of your way for people that don't care about you. It just doesn't make sense to me. I don't believe in being mean to people either, but some folks deserve exactly what they give imho.

Posted by shellshocker
There is a difference between judgement and self-protection...

You can except someone for who they are and the choices they make... but you do not have to put up with someone's character or their choices if they are affecting your life in a negative manner.

In order for these two concepts to co-exist, personal boundaries can be put into place as well as putting yourself and your best interest first. If the people who love and care about you recognize a pattern within you that they don't understand, it is probably only the effect of this pattern that concerns them. Do the effects concern you?

Yeah I agree.


It also helps to be a little selfish - easier said than done I feel.