Bringing Sand to the Beach

Hi everyone 🙂

Just wondering what you'd do in the situation..

I won a free trip to Greece for myself plus one. I don't have a significant other and my closest friends and family cannot go for various reasons. I mentioned this trip long ago to a co-worker/friend of mine...a HOT single gemini male co-worker/friend... and he wants to go. I didn't take him seriously at first but he hounded me about it so I said ok and plans were made.

I mentioned these plans to a mutual friend of ours who was shocked to hear this because she was certain he now has a girlfriend. Well that certaintly caught me off guard. If it were true, then so be it, I will still go with him but there will be some boundaries of course. I messaged the gemini about this and 2 days later I got a message back "Oh yeah, i meant to tell you about that." He says his girlfriend is cool with him going with me (—) and I can even meet her if I'd like. This meeting has not happened as of yet since the gemini forgets to call me back about when/where to meet up. And yes, the girlfriend really does exist.

Sooo, here I am, single and going to a country full of hot men. There WOULD be plenty of opportunities for hooking up but not only am I bringing a man with me, I am bringing another girl's man with me AND we have to share a room! Do I think this guy will wander off and do his own thing? Haha, not for a second! Ugggghh... Not sure what kind of etiquette to apply in this situation.

Why don't you just go solo—?

I already promised him he could go with me or else I would've gone alone.

To be honest with you, I mentioned it to him never thinking he'd actually say yes AND I used to have a crush on him but I never told him and eventually the crush went away. It would be kinda weird to hook up with him now.

Anyway we are friends. We've known each other for over a year but only got to know each other better these past few months. We hang out socially outside of work on occasion on his invite but there was never any girlfriend around. I haven't hung out with him in two months so she is a recent girlfriend. I know she exists and I know that she knows about me because I called him last night and he was at dinner with her. I heard her asking who was on the phone and he told her my name and she said "Hi" on the other side. Of course I said "Hi" back 😛 So yeah she knows about me but maybe he told her I was massively overweight and unattractive or something. I dunno. I just cant' imagine letting my boyfriend run off to Greece for 2 weeks with another woman! It will actually be Greece followed by a few days in Venice. A very romantic setting for just two co-workers :/

GemGal, I just saw your message... omg, that was a thought of mine too, that things would change when we got over there. I know that whatever hooking up I do over there and with whomever, it would be of short interest, even if it were the gemini. On one hand, I'm a bit against hooking up with gemini since I'm not keen on the weirdness of an office relationship. On the other hand, not sure how wild and crazy to get in front of someone that I work with. If I tart it up over there, at best I will horrify the gemini 😛 and at worst, my antics will eventually make its way through the office grapevine.

I dunno what I was thinking when I invited him but too late to back out of it now. Especially since we leave in less than two weeks.

Your fooling yourself.

If you really didn't want him to go with you, then he wouldn't be.

"I'm a bit against hooking up with gemini since I'm not keen on the weirdness of an office relationship. On the other hand, not sure how wild and crazy to get in front of someone that I work with. If I tart it up over there, at best I will horrify the gemini and at worst, my antics will eventually make its way through the office grapevine.


.... ^^^^^ No mention of being against this because of his girlfriend.



"I am bringing another girl's man with me AND we have to share a room! Do I think this guy will wander off and do his own thing? Haha, not for a second!"


..... and are already anticipating that this man isn't going to be off doing his own thing, rather, wanting to spend time with you ... sharing a room even.


It's obvious to me that your intentions are to be with a man to whom is partnered with somebody .... and there doesn't seem to be any concern about this woman in any way.



"that was a thought of mine too, that things would change when we got over there. I know that whatever hooking up I do over there and with whomever, it would be of short interest, even if it were the gemini."


Damn, what the fuck? ^^^^^^^^

He's not yours .. do you recognize that boundry?

Just do it y'know? if ya wanna a threesome might as well stay at home see? yeah? yeah no kiddin' if you are one of those blonde types might as well hook up with a Mediterranean cos when ya get back what do ya got cept the same sht that you left behind for a while.

"If you really didn't want him to go with you, then he wouldn't be."

You are right about that but I do want him to go and that is why I said he could come with me.

"I'm a bit against hooking up with gemini since I'm not keen on the weirdness of an office relationship. On the other hand, not sure how wild and crazy to get in front of someone that I work with. If I tart it up over there, at best I will horrify the gemini and at worst, my antics will eventually make its way through the office grapevine.
.... ^^^^^ No mention of being against this because of his girlfriend."

P-Angel, I was speaking in general. Yeah I USED TO have a crush on him but because of us being co-workers, I never made it known to him. His girlfriend was not in the picture at the time of the crush and that crush is long gone. I still think he is hot but I think of him as a friend.

"..... and are already anticipating that this man isn't going to be off doing his own thing, rather, wanting to spend time with you ... sharing a room even."

This will be his first time out of the country so yes, he will stick by my side for the most part because he is a bit nervous PLUS neither of us speak greek PLUS we are friends and we will sightsee together just like I would if I was with my sister, mother, brother whomever. He has already made it known that he will stick to me like glue as I am an experienced world traveler and he feels safe with me. If he opts to go off on his own to do some things, that is absolutely fine with me. As for sharing the room, unless he wants to pay for his own which I assure you he does not, he is completely ok with this arrangement. Whoever I chose to bring with me would've had to share the room with me.

"It's obvious to me that your intentions are to be with a man to whom is partnered with somebody .... and there doesn't seem to be any concern about this woman in any way."

You are making incorrect assumptions again. I invited him BEFORE the girlfriend came along. She is in the picture now, there will be no hooking up between us and that is ok with me! He is not single but I am and I may want to hook up so I am wondering if maybe his presence is going interfere with me having my own "fun". That was the point of the post, not "I want to bone him but he's got a girlfriend".

"He's not yours .. do you recognize that boundry"

Once again, who said I didn't?

I think men have more sense than that, regardless of sign.

If a commited man is going on vacation with a single girl, and he is unfaithful to his woman while on this vacation ... he certainly isn't going to TELL anybody for fear of getting busted.

However, this would pertain to a man with sense ... a man in a relationship, if he had ******respect****** for his woman, wouldn't even go on this adventure, to share a room, with another woman in the first place.

So, this man's integrity is questionable before the plane even lifts off ... as well as this woman who KNOWS he is in a relationship and is willing to go on this adventure anyway.

We have to take care of each other here ... watch out for our girls .. which equals not doing anything questionable to hurt or indirectly cause emotional injury to another woman.

Whether or not this is a regular friendship is not the issue here ... the issue is that by going on this vacation with him, his woman could be emotionally injured ... and it's a woman's responsibility to her sisters NOT to participate in anything that might cause this to be inflicted upon her.

It's called: R.E.S.P.E.C.T

P-Angel, I understand part of where you are coming from believe it or not. Look, this trip was discussed with the gemini long ago BEFORE the girlfriend. He said "You should take me." I had no other takers so I said ok. When I confronted him about the girlfriend I gave him an out and he didn't take it. He knows I am willing to meet her, it is up to them to make it happen. I wont force the issue and I do not plan to force myself on him! lol And for all I know, he might see me as a sister! I assume nothing and come with no expectations. I want to have my own fun on this trip and I'm not sure how to make that happen with him around all the time. It could end up being a hanky panky-free trip and with all the hot greek men I am hearing about, that is a shame but oh well, so be it!

Bijou and Gemgal, i think you are both right. The gemini does not have a malicious bone in his body. He is a sweetheart but OMG, I told him NOT to tell anyone about our trip yet until I got my boss to agree to giving me the time off. Gemini was so excited about the trip he could not keep his mouth shut. Now half the freakin office knows! Gemini swears he only told ONE person. Yeah, ONE person at a time!

This is why I stay away from office hook ups and this is also why I'm a bit hesitant to have gemini as a witness to my antics.