CONFUSED AND HEARTBROKEN BY PISCES MAN HELP!!!!!

Hi all!
I am dealing with a situation that is really weighing heavily on me. I will greatly appreciate any insight and advice. I am an almost 28 year old single mother of 1 son. I am a capricorn. In early August 2012 I met a 44 year old pisces male who I really fell hard for. We both acknowledged that our realtionship progressed really quickly but both expressed feelings of contentment and happiness. After only dating for about a month we decided to introduce each other to our sons. He brought his 14 year old to my place to watch a football game with myself and my 8 year old son. We spent typically 3-4 nights per week togther sometimes more. He explained how he had been through a lot in the past couple years from breaking up with his ex of 3 years who had cheated on him to being diagnosed with stomach cancer. He spoke frequently about some further testing that he had to undergo in Dec 2012. This man was so wonderful and sensitive and attentive to me. He also expressed that he often got depressed and would spend 2-3 days in bed from time to time. He is a small business owner and has a few business ventures that also takes him on short 1-2 day trips frequently. From the beginning he was kind of wishy washy. He would call last minute and cancel dates. He was impulsive at times as well. He would be happy and upbeat one minute wanting to go out and somber and lazy the next. Honestly the relationship was a roller coaster ride but I enjoyed the ride for the most part. He introduced me to his mother in october as his new girlfriend, spoke of me to his close friends and family and asked me to meet his oder children around the holidays. I invited him to meet my family on thanksgivign and he was excited. He was really talkative and expressed how much he liked me to my mother. He eluded to us potentially being married on day. Throughout the relationship he would often disappear for a day or 2 and I wouldnt talk to him but he might text me and say he wasnt feeling well and would call me later, giving me the impression he was dealing with his depression. I also have read that pisces are elusive and need time away to regroup. I tried to be understanding and supportive throughout these times. In early december he had an issue with his landlord/relative and suddenly moved out of his apartment. He had mentioned a couple times that he was having financial problems and that his business ventures were not doing as well as they had in the past...........

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Im not sure if financial problems is why he moved but he did not indicate that. I told him that if he wanted he could stay at my place until he found a new apartment. He expressed happiness that I had offered and accepted. He brought a few personal belongings to my place and talked about where he would put the rest of his things. He was really busy right up to Christmas. I had given him a key to my door but had not gotten a key to the building made. In the days leading up to his disappearance he asked me several times if I had gotten around to makeing the other key. I had not. Throughtout the relationship he talked of being a positive role model for my son and said he was sure it would take some time for my son to get comfortable with him but he was sure that within the next few years they would bond. A few weeks beofre Christmas he had us take down out artificial tree that I put up every year and took uto get a live tree and new decorations. He and my son decorated the tree together. So anyway on Dec. 23rd, he called me and said he would be back from his day trip until the follwing day. Told me he had some gift cards he had gotten from some business parnters for target and I shouldnt spend too much on grocieries because I could use those when he returned. Told me he had picked up dog food for my dog. So Christmas eve comes and I dont hear from him I call with no answer, I text with no reply. Finally about 8pm on Christmas eve he texts me and says he's on his way back. I dont respond. The next morning which is christmas day I call and text him and his phone is goign strsight to voicemeail. He doenst call or text me. I text him a mean text on christmas night saying he was an marker for standing me up on Christmas. Four days go by and his phone is going to voicemail eveytime I call. By this point I'm worried, so I decide to go to his mothers house to make sure he's ok. As I'm on my way to him check on him I spot his truck parked on a major street in front of a house I dont know. I blow my horn hoping he'll come out but he doesn't. I leave him a really mean note on his windshield asking for my key back. I then go to his mothers house and ask her if she's heard from him. She states that he called her on christmas and texted her 1 day after but that was all. She advised me to text him because that's what she does when he disappears. So I leave his mother??s house and pick up a girlfriend. She goes back to the house with me to see if he

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to see if he got the note. As we drive by we see him with a man standing on the porch. By the time we come back around a woman is pulling up in his truck and goes into the house. He was inside already. So my friend goes to the door and asks the woman if he's there, she calmly says yes. My friends says he has a key and she needs it. He then steps up and hands her the key and says ok, ok alright nervously. My friend walks back to the car, they close the door and we leave. I haven't heard from him since and its been a little over a week. I was completely caught off guard by what happened since he appeared to be planning a relationship with me and moving his things into my place. He was a very very emotional guy. He even cried a couple times stating that he would be devastated if something happened to him and he wasn't there for me. Said he had been hurt in the past and that he was afraid to be hurt again. I actually saw tears roll down his face a few times when he spoke of how good he felt about our relationship. I am so confused. A couple days after this all happened I texted him and said I forgive him and wish him the best in the upcoming year. I told him I would hold onto his things for a few weeks if he would like to pick them up. He never replied. Afew weeks before this all happened he told me he was going to change his number becasue he was getting some strange calls. He never did until a couple days after I sent the last text I called to see if his phone was still going to voicemail and it was disconnected. It's really hard for me to understand what happened and why he did what he did. I am really really wondering if he'll ever call and apologize or even call and say he wants his things. He only had a few outfits, a few undergarments and some perrsonal items. Do you think I'll ever hear from him again? ADVICE PLEASE!!!!! Im really having a hard time dealing with this sudden unexpected breakup

How to put this delicately so that you understand what you did wrong and what he did wrong. Full charge ahead! I'm not going to make excuses for him here but I can understand certain parts of his behavior. I can show you how he might have taken your actions.

You met this older Pisces guy and you hit it off pretty well. Too bad for you he was left in pieces and pretty broken after getting such news of cancer and getting a divorce with a kid attached to it. The business wasn't going too great either and he's in a downward spiral. So you entering his life and cheering him up brings great comfort, probably a lot more than you know. He opened up to a possible future together and states that he wants to take an active role in your life and that of your son. All good & well, and while there will be a core of truth to what he said, he'll have to pull back after that to figure out why he said that. Did he really mean it? Is that what his heart desires? He had to make sure first so he pulls back a bit to figure this out on his own or with friends, that's the elusive 'disappearing act' for Pisces. We're confronted with a new situation and sure we can adapt fast, but after a while it -the severity of the situation- can hit us and we'll need time to think things through before we commit. Marriage isn't something I take lightly so him catching himself saying that to you, must have thrown him into a loop. "why did I say that?".

You stuck by it all and you're gaining his trust step by step, that was all very kind of you to begin with. The issue with the landlord and you offering to have him move in (even if only temporary), ace if you want to help recover this guy.

Why didn't you have a key to the building made? He asked you several times.. and stalling on that without an explanation can be taken as a sign that you're backing out. He made an effort to help with the dogfood, a new tree, spending time with your son, offering those coupons for you to save money. In his own way that's pulling his weight around you, trying to make you not regret the decision to have him stay with you.

He texts you at 8pm that he's on his way. Sure he missed most of Christmas day but did you ask why? No you ignored his text because you were angry. What good did that do? Did you find out why or did you just imagine the worst things first? You sabotaged yourself there by not being open and upfront about how it made you feel. He's a Pisces, tell him how you feel about him not showing

up on time. He can handle it and you need to let him know where you stand. I see so many women these days leaving things unspoken and open to their own interpretation. TALK about it. No need to nag him to death but just tell him that you don't appreciate it and ask him why it happened. Passive aggressive behavior rarely works on men because we don't know you are angry. When we do figure it out, we just stay away to let you cool off, yet most women think we're ignoring you even more. Spiral downwards much?

The next day after you ignored his text, you start calling and get voicemail. Guess why. He figured you didn't want to see him because you ignored the text. See how nothing good come from letting silly things fester and grow bigger? You don't hear from him anymore for 4 days, did you leave more of those nice messages? Pretty sure he heard them but didn't feel like he could talk to you without having drama happen.

You spot his car on the way to his mother. When he doesn't come out you leave a mean note. WHY? He was already feeling like you rejected him by not responding to his text, adding on the guilt & depression comes easily to this one, so there you have your 4 days of not hearing anything from him. A mean note only kicked things into worse territory, especially asking the key back. You make your friend bust down the door and demand the key back. Why are you so surprised that you haven't heard from him ever since?

You were caught off guard about all of this? I saw it coming from a mile away. What are you so caught by surprise by? He's given you the full details on his behavior, how he pulls back sometimes, how he's easily depressed, you even went through it with him so you weren't in the dark. Did you ask why he was there with another man & woman? Or did you just assume things? It could have been him staying with some friends, doing business, .. whatnot, you don't know because you didn't ask but stormed off angry. See what that gets you? Doubts about everything & nothing, but no clear truth.

Then you call him to forgive him? Forgive him for what? You created this world based on assumptions. "I'll hold onto your things for a few weeks, come pick them up" = I'm kicking you out. He changed his number for the stated reason, but that's besides the point here.

You're hoping to get an apology out of him or a call? You're never going to get one, he didn't do anything wrong. This isn't an unexpected breakup, you pushed yourself to that conclu

Conclusion. Everything about your actions tells me that you were looking for a fight, you wanted to break up so that's what happened. He had no say in this because you never asked him. Those calls & texts after you demanded the key back and left a few mean notes, they don't count as you asking what happened. That's demanding in an angry way..

He swam away from it all to retreat. Perhaps unsure of what was going on, he cut his losses for now and is in hiding.

What do you want from this guy now I wonder? And don't say an explanation unless you want to sit down and listen to what he has to say, without starting the blame game. That will accomplish nothing.

You guys are not even on the same page...or the same book for that matter. 🙂 You can do better!

ORMAS: Nice response. +1. (I just love it how people truly make an effort to answer a question and not just a one sentence liner). I have a question. Pisces show they are interested by actions and the other person should talk to the Pisces about how they are feeling—— What I am getting at is if Pisces show interest by actions and the other person should talk about how they feel to the Pisces, how should the response given from the Pisces be taken? As truth or wait until action is shown, if any?

Thanks firewater earth!

Ormas thanks so much for your comments. I thinkyou're completely correct with your dissection of the relationship and events. I was very very hurt and angry that he would stand me up on Christmas and that he was pulling one of his disappearing acts on Christmas eve. I had spoken very calmly about him being unreliable and washy washy before and I had expressed that to him in the past. I guess I was just really really upset and hurt by his actions. I want him to call because I want him to explain his actions (you've done a great job of this already). Honestly I was really falling in love with him and deep down I want to continue or try to save the relationship. My heart sinks to think that I contributed to this breakup. I honestly didn't see it that way at all! I would never disappear for days on him. It really saddens me that we won't talk again. Even before reading this post I said many times that I would not be mean to him if and when he calls. I would really try to get some answers from him and ask why he broke my heart and deceived me the way he did. I refuse to take all the blame or even most of the blame for our break up. I understand him being depressed and needing some time to get through it but a simple text to let me know he was alive would have been nice especially since I texted him in the days leading up to the night I spotted him saying I was really worried and would go to his mothers to make sure things were ok. ORMAS, you really think he'll never call again? If he does I will try and be calm and understanding as I always was when he disappeared on me without warning. Do you think it would be weird if I went to his store to try and talk to him? And it's funny you never assumed that woman driving his truck wasn't a girlfriend he was cheating with, because that's exactly what I assumed. Although my actions were kind of extreme, believe it or not I tend to be calm and understanding in relationships I am very suspicious but I try to be open and honest and I guess I really just expected this from him also.

Ssnnpisces, d o think he'll ever call? I dated a few guys before him last year and I honestly believe we had something really special. I am having a really hard time accepting its over and im partially at fault. HOW DO I FIX THIS—?!!!!!—!!! 🙂

While I appreciate your comment I don't think ignoring 1 text pushed him away. He has disappeared for days at a time before and I've welcomed him with open arms but expressed how much I don't like him doing this. I think I was extremely understanding and patient with him and this last episode just pushed me over the edge because it was hurtful and embarrassing to me for him not to show up to meet my other side of my family for Christmas (him being unreliable again)

I wish I was a Pisces.....able to flip the switch and move on.......

Posted by 88NNPISCES

Posted by yad035
I wish I was a Pisces.....able to flip the switch and move on.......

we flip the switch but we still have feelings and remember maybe even longer than others. But to stay and be hurt more, it is not worth it.

click to expand

Truth! Despite people saying we're doormats, many of us know whats best for ourselves and will leave behind situations that we shouldn't be in, even if it hurts. That's what I think, at least!

Scenic do you think I'll ever hear from him again??

I believe Pisces can be forgiving. He's had a history of being hurt, though, so you should not expect him to make the first move. If you want him in your life, go to him in person and tell him you're sorry and that you want him in your life. Even if you don't think you have anything to be sorry for. And it's important you directly say you want to be with him. He needs the encouragement and no guessing games. Since he's been hurt in the past, you need to prove yourself to him, not the other way around. This kind of man needs a lot of support. If this works out, you should try to get him help with his depression. It caused problems in your relationship before. If being completely there for him doesn't help, then he need professional help. Oh and encourage him to be really open with his feelings and be patient even if you don't like what he says. And remember, being direct with him is also good!
Back to if he'll come back. If you give all you have I am attempt to get him back, he could say yes. He sounds like he liked you, but he's so afraid of getting hurt. Show no anger or contempt in approaching him!

I really can't see him contacting you first, however, so this is all up to you now. Good luck.

I hope I wasn't too repetitive. It's so hard to type on a phone.

I'm so afraid of looking like a stalker. I don't have his number and I've never actually been to his store so would it be weird for me to just show up? I'm really afraid he'll reject me or think I'm a crazy person.

Dani, just be genuine with him. Say, I won't bother you again if that's what you want, but I just want you to know....etc.
if you're afraid, you'll lose out on your opportunity. Which is more important to you? Not looking like a stalker, or seeing if he wants to mend what you had?

And jazzy, I didn't read what you said, but you should post a new thread. You'll get more replies. : )

Scenic
Thanks I just figured that out Im new to this. I am about to repost under can a Gemini Woman ever understand a Pisces Man