confused Aquarius about Pisces man

I am totally in love with a Pisces man and we had a wonderful relationship for two years. We were seriously considering moving in together and share our lives until suddenly we went MIA for no apparent reason! He did not come home for holidays and even though I told him I loved him and he said he would be home he never did and basically ended our relationship via text. I am totally confused and devastated to say the least. Would he ever comeback? Please advise!

We did have some trust issues in the past: basically he lied to me and I confronted him but let him know that we could start with a clean slate as the new year started and we could move on..

Thank you Aquansidenout, my friends think like you. I know he was disrespectful to say the least. However, we had two wonderful years, my family love him and he was very good to me and my child. He has keys to my house and were planning to move in together as the new year rolled. Yes there were difficulties but we never even argued nor had big issues we didn't resolved, or so I thought. I just don't get this cold/hot behavior.. then again, that's the cerebral Aquarius in me! 🙂

Pisces have a hard time stepping up to the plate and take responsibility. Too many emotions to consider, better to close ones eyes to the grieve we cause in others - we dont live well with the tears that we caused.
About his disappearing act, he got scared. Pisces do have commitment issues. Taking a step like living with someone is like walking into a cage.
You could let it sit for a while and then ring him up. Chances are he wont answer the phone, because he will be afraid that he may have to explain his actions to you.

I have called and texted him but he has not answered. I last saw him on 12/31/13 and we had a very thoughtful and honest conversation. I told him how I felt, the love I have for him and even though we are both not perfect people, we are good together. He again, said he loved me very much and he would come home but needed to visit a sick friend and he would be home after new years but I have not heard from him since. I packed all his things and brought to his place in case he decided not to comeback because it would have been too painful for me to have constant reminders. Everyone we know are just as dumbfounded as I am because we were a couple for all the world to see and this behavior is totally opposite of what he has done until now.

In retrospect being an Aquarius I might have been to aloof or emotional closed for him but again, he never said anything. All contraire, he was helping me being less guarded and braking down those walls we put up...

Thank you Scalpisces! The idea of moving together was HIS! Our relationship started on the phone, literately, because both my parents were diagnosed with cancer at the same time, and for 9 months he was the "ears" I vented, cried on and confided my fears. It was easy to talk to him because I really didn't think I was going to end up in a relationship. His mother died of cancer when he was only 14 and he understood what I was going thru.

He pursued me and literally make it possible to meet and it was love at first sight! We had spent so much time, daily talks, emails, texts, that it was like we had known each other for a while. The FIRST time he came home, he actually helped me with yard work without having to ask him. Little by little he gained my son's respect and appreciation thru his kindness and caring ways. Even when I had to make a trip to Mexico, he stayed in my house and polish the hardwood floors and revamp the yard! He always did things the "manly" things around the house and my neighbors befriend him as part of my family. Even my parents love him dearly and always made him feel as part of the family. This is so hard.

I was married for a long time, 20 yrs, and even my ex is happy I met him! This is so out of my league. The worst part, I feel, is that apart from my ex-husband, I have never brought anyone home. I really thought we could have a life together and was looking forward to it. I honestly believe I fell madly in love with him and this is just devastating!

what a terrible situation. trying to do his best under the complex circumstances may have exhausted him. Not your fault .. but.. wait.. he said he was visiting a SICK friend? Is he always attracting/unknowingly entering victim saviour relationships or ..? These relationships have a very complex life. You having all these life problems, I'm sure you didn't have the time to notice certain things, if the victim-saviour allows or compels him to remain detached, if he's happy or follows a masochistic tendency, etc?
He "seems" ok, ..with Pisces never go by "seems"
Sorry for the circumstances, this life can be a total bitch to ppl

Thank you Reconstructing_a_Leo.
He did great but also had flaws that I new about and was willing to accept them. I know he wanted to move faster in our relationship but did not considered other factors. My life is very simple and organized now. All the drama was not part of our lives, but I know he felt I always put my son's needs before his - and probably felt not appreciated enough. I am here trying to make sense of it for MY own benefit. I am aware I did probably most then anyone in his life before me, but I am just shaken by his actions.

I am a mature, secured, reasonable woman with my own money & status. He was homeless at one point and was dealing with a not so great job and other issues. Despite ALL the red flags and reservations I had, I was able & willing to provide him with a "second change" in life, or so I thought. I truly believed he would see our relationship as a way into a better life for him. Hopefully he will realized what he is doing and come back, but I am realizing the fact that he might not and slowly will have to accept it.

Thank you all for letting me vent. I truly appreciate this!

it's not about you having position and him being poor. he seems to have preferred freedom over the status quo. maybe he felt he was second class citizen in the relationship. It's hard to remain in love and dream in these circumstances. Im not blaming you, your natural instinct tells you what to do. Thats why I said, life's a bitch sometimes

Posted by JemJ
I am totally in love with a Pisces man and we had a wonderful relationship for two years. We were seriously considering moving in together and share our lives until suddenly we went MIA for no apparent reason! He did not come home for holidays and even though I told him I loved him and he said he would be home he never did and basically ended our relationship via text. I am totally confused and devastated to say the least. Would he ever comeback? Please advise!

We did have some trust issues in the past: basically he lied to me and I confronted him but let him know that we could start with a clean slate as the new year started and we could move on..

What exactly did his text say?

Posted by JemJ

We did have some trust issues in the past: basically he lied to me and I confronted him but let him know that we could start with a clean slate as the new year started and we could move on..

You mean .... you are willing to allow a clean slate?

Starting the New Year?

And you haven't seen him since 12/31/2013

How generous of you, that you will allow a clean slate.

I'm surprised he's not jumping up and down with gratitude that you will let him be in your presence.

Posted by JemJ

.... for 9 months he was the "ears" I vented, cried on and confided my fears.

Maybe you used him all up.

Posted by JemJ

I am aware I did probably most then anyone in his life before me ....

Really?

did the most for him ... like use him as your emotional crutch for 9 months?

How fucking arrogant ... you think you're his Saviour, don't you?

Afterall you've done for him .... how dare him.

Posted by JemJ

I was able & willing to provide him with a "second change" in life

click to expand

We should all bow down, and praise you .... as should he, right?

What would his life be if you weren't there to save him .... how dare him ignore you when you've granted him permission to a clean slate after the new year.

^^ Love P's replies.

To P-Angel:
Thank you for not holding back..
I SHOULD have mentioned a little bit more about HIM and his past, when I said "I probably had done more him then anyone before me.. and that I was willing to give him a second chance" as a GIRLFRIEND, because for starters HE IS NO PRICE (he is an alcoholic, ex-con who served time for over 6 yrs, is bipolar & ADHD, owes child support for years, was homeless for years, has not a good perspective for a better job and basically has been waiting for someone - an ass like me, to take care of him. His own family has disowned him and won't even let him come to their house!) but somehow I DID see beyond his poor choices in life and saw something wonderful in him, unlike his previous GF whom gave him rat poison w/ peanut butter! Makes wonder why, no?

YES, he has made a tremendous change in his life, thus we had two wonderful years, but not without having to deal with these issues. I was more than willing and able to be there for him and I WAS.
I do believe I was probably among best that happened to him in a long time, aside from his forced recovery mandate, without sounding arrogant. I DO GIVE HIM LOTS OF CREDIT for keeping sober and trying to better himself, thus the reason we made it this far..

I never took advantage of him nor was my desire. HE would come to MY house, for he still lives in a half-way house! So for you, P-Angel, to be sooooo quick to judge ME, is a bit presumptuous, ignorant and out of line, when you did not have all the facts.

Did I mentioned that he used my bank card WITHOUT ASKING? He hasn't pay me back yet, and I know he wont! Did I mentioned he lied to me on trivial things? Yet, yes, I am willing to give him a "second chance" and start a new year w/ a clean slate.

Perhaps, his walking out is a blessing in disguised for me, don't you think, now that you know a bit more?! I am no fool, I KNEW what I was getting into from the very beginning, again, because I DO believe people deserve second changes in life. I am no one to judge anyone for past mistakes and when someone is willing to better themselves I believe they can.

This is why I am so devastated! How can some in his situation, walk away from a family that cares for him (my parents and child adore him), a safe home and a woman who is willing and able to love and be there for him? ...

So now that you have a bigger picture, P-Angel, answer your own questions..

To LetItBe:
His final text said that "he was waiting for train" to go to his friends' house, instead of coming home. I had asked him to come home on New Year's eve and we would go together to his friend's house on new year's day.. he choose his friends... and have not returned my calls nor texts since..

I am now accepting the fact that he may not come back.. that perhaps is a blessing in disguised... and that I will be OK, for nothing happens without reason. I'm learning life lessons here, that will only make me a better person, after all. I only wish he would have been more honest, giving me a bit more respect and tell me instead of just walking out, literately after telling and reassuring me, he loved me and wanted a life with me...

So the fuck what if he's an ex-con, alcoholic, drug addict, and so forth. You think you're a freaking angel sent from heaven?? Get over yourself.

If he wanted you, he'd be back. So far he don't. Move on.

Posted by JemJ

I'm learning life lessons here, that will only make me a better person, after all.

No you won't ... what a crock of shit.

You have no clue that YOU participated in fucking up ... you think that you're some kind of savior, and because of all you've done, that he owes you something.

without realizing you're wrong ... there's no fucking lesson. It's not going to make you a better person because you think you're some kind of savior, so will undoubtedly go out and find another unsuspecting loser, give to him with expectations that he owes you the title of his personal god.


::: shakes head :::

To P-Angel & Lisabethur8:
Ladies, THANK YOU for being so blunt and brutally honest!
This IS A REALITY CHECK FOR ME. My challenge now is finding the right help to change..

So, yes, totally agree with both of you: After almost a month alone (last time he came home was 12/5/13) NOW realize I could have done more in showing & making HIM feel more accepted and loved. I do have a prima-donna attitude towards people and yes, even though I DO in fact do a lot for many, it is MY mental frame, demeanor and reasons that need to change. My reactions too. My sense of worth and appreciation of others, and mostly MY OWN MOTIVES. I do have to learn humbleness, perhaps being more flexible with my standards and demands, but mostly to show love more openly.

Yes, I do feel I am a "savior/angel sent from heaven" of some sorts.. and most people around me appreciate my generosity.. (this, be aware, also have a dark side: I AM TAKEN FOR GRANTED AND TAKEN ADVANTAGE OFTEN).. Again, this is a big issue I MUST look inside me & figure out the why's and how's.
The fact that he had a difficult was NOT an issue for me, otherwise, I would not have been with him in the first place.. At least give me this credit! 🙂

So, have a learn a life lesson? Yes, I think so. MY challenge now is how to change a life-long behavior and frame of mind... but having lost someone so dear to my heart and the man who actually showed me more love than most and the one I believed was my life-partner, believe you me, I WILL MAKE A CONCIENCIOUS EFFORT, to learn that lesson well... The kicker here is that I will always have HIM to thank for it and will always be a bitter-sweet memory for me... and YOU TWO for being sooo brutally honest and direct!
I'm truly grateful.. really.. for you taking the time to read, reply, and tell me off! Thank you!
JJ

Now, HOW do I move on.. What can I do now to change MYSELF? Where do I start?

well you look at yourself "HIGHER" than him. You look at him as if he is beneath you. Just because his life's paths is different than yours. Seeing him as if he were NOT a prize. You can never love a person unconditionally like that. Which is probably why he ran away from you.

Perhaps he's reverted back to his old ways now that you aren't around to keep him in check.
Then again, knowing a Pisces idea of time, coming back after New Years could range from January 1st to a year from now. lol

If he is your partner of two years and disappeared without trace from your life and from his halfway house, I would report him missing to the police.

He may be on a drinking binge with his friend, or depressed and needing time alone, in which case he may come back. Or he may have deliberately vanished from your life, which is a rude and coward way to end a relationship. Either way, you should not put the blame on yourself for his poor life choices and certainly not for the inconsiderate way he's acting.

Why would he want to leave, if the life with you was a good one? Because he wanted something else. Better or worse, it doesn't matter. As long as he chose it. Maybe his demons were returning and he didn't want you to face them. In this case, he didn't love himself enough to resist them. You can't rescue him, he needs professional help.

A Pisces man who loves you would never leave.

Posted by Undine
If he is your partner of two years and disappeared without trace from your life and from his halfway house, I would report him missing to the police.

He may be on a drinking binge with his friend, or depressed and needing time alone, in which case he may come back. Or he may have deliberately vanished from your life, which is a rude and coward way to end a relationship. Either way, you should not put the blame on yourself for his poor life choices and certainly not for the inconsiderate way he's acting.

Why would he want to leave, if the life with you was a good one? Because he wanted something else. Better or worse, it doesn't matter. As long as he chose it. Maybe his demons were returning and he didn't want you to face them. In this case, he didn't love himself enough to resist them. You can't rescue him, he needs professional help.

i can see your perspective. It's got very good points, imo. but, in what she said, he was doing alot for her, doing so many chores, fixing stuff, and he was a huge shoulder for her to cry/weep on.

whose shoulder can he turn to when he NEEDS it?