Do you change your mind, Pisces?

I might not be welcomed with this question since I have just asked something related, but... I’m analysing, and trying to find out clues and answers to be sure of what to do. It’s a bit long, but if there’s anyone here who would like to give their point of view, I would really appreciate it. This is the situation: there’s no context, just Pisces talking about a cousin of his who has two children of different men and dating a new boy: “there’s no chance for her anymore. If she fails again the one who is going to suffer is her little child (a 4 year old girl whose father didn’t take any responsibility), she still doesn’t understand that she is now responsible of two children (her boy is 12) and she has to look after their growth and education. That’s why I don’t have kids, and I don’t want to have them.”

Previously he has referred that he doesn’t like children (although I guess he doesn’t like restless kids, because I have seen he is very kind with some of them, and he has a baby nephew that he likes a little bit. He has also said that how can one have a baby if they don’t have economical an emotional stability to bring them up.

I, his girlfriend, only replied: “really? Don’t you want to have children? No, he said. Do you?

-Yes, of course! I said

-come on! You said you didn’t want to have children

-no, I didn’t. I just said that I didn’t want to have them in a near future. I mean, In a future of course I would like it to happen, but not too soon. But it’s important to know what you want.

Then there was a silence and I he asked: Does it let you down what I said? And I replied. Of course not. That’s your opinion, your decision, your point of view... your free will. How could that let me down. And this talk ended up.

I couldn’t say anything else, but it made me feel sad because I thought that if we don’t expect the same from life, there will be a point where this relationship will fail and we’ll have to separate. We’ve been together for 14 months (but we’ve known each other for almost three years) maybe is too soon to get pressured with the result of this relationship. I’m sure I love him and I would like to have a family with him, but I cannot interfere in what he expects. Maybe he realised I get upset somehow because the rest of the afternoon he was hugging me and saying he loves me.

Few days ago I asked in this forum if you thought he could include me in his future and now I know he sees me in his future somehow because he mentioned something that made me feel he does. I’m sure he loves me. I see it and I feel it. I just wonder if this he said about children might be totally true, something that he has decided in advance or if there’s any chance he changes his mind because this is not the first time he mentions that, but it is the first time I openly say I do want to have my own family.

Thank you all for your answers. And yes! I know this needs to be revised before I invest more time. And I let this depend on someone else because In case I have a child I would like to provide him with all he needs, specially a home full of love... it might sound unreal, but I’m a cancer. Thank you very much anyhow.

I'm Pisces, I change opinions/decisions if I find them valid to be changed. If I dont see benefit in them, I will not change my mind. So its entirely based on the situation. As far as children goes, I knew very young that I wanted children. I was in a relationship with a Scorpio who delayed the matter everytime until he decided that its not for him. A year later we broke up. I had children with someone else. Its not fair on both ....

Posted by Phantom_Limbo

My Pisces husband has known he didn’t want kids since he was a kid and his mind has never changed for a moment. He’s closing in on 50 now.

Can you give some background, please? I think I won't find the connection I have with my pisces. We have gone through several situations... we have shared many beautiful things. He's been like a fortress to me... he is a great person with a huge heart. And I know he loves me. I'm sure he loves, I can feel it and I can see it. And I don't want to mes up (spoil) the potential of this relationship but I don't know how to deal with it. If should worry about or just let things flow... Let fate decide what's going to happen. Because I love him very very much, but I would also like to become a mother... Not now, not too soon (besides being in my 30s I'm not prepared yet, but of course I would like it to happen in a future)

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What kind of background are you looking for?

What does "let fate decide" mean? Just remember that when you get pregnant, you're getting ready to bring a new person into the world who will have needs and worries and the need for parents who care, both parents. It's something you should go into with clear eyes and no trickery.

"Let fate decide" ... I mean... Leave it to destiny... I don't know how to say that in English... Like... Believe in destiny when something happens or not...

And if I got pregnant I wouldn't like to be alone. I would like to bring up a child in a home with both parents' love. At least to be able to provide him with affection and emotional stability.

And background. Well, this pisces and I get on really well. I love him too much and he loves me too much too. We have lots of things in common and we have a healthy relationship. But in case he doesn't want to have a family... I don't know what is more important for me... if being a mother or stay next to the one I love. Can a partner live together for long time without descendants? I'm afraid of what might come and I don't know how to deal with this situation. How can I ask him what he expects? Above all because we've been together for 14 months and that's not too much. We are still getting to know each other.

Posted by Phantom_Limbo

Posted by AdrianaCrabTor

Posted by Phantom_Limbo

My Pisces husband has known he didn’t want kids since he was a kid and his mind has never changed for a moment. He’s closing in on 50 now.

Can you give some background, please? I think I won't find the connection I have with my pisces. We have gone through several situations... we have shared many beautiful things. He's been like a fortress to me... he is a great person with a huge heart. And I know he loves me. I'm sure he loves, I can feel it and I can see it. And I don't want to mes up (spoil) the potential of this relationship but I don't know how to deal with it. If should worry about or just let things flow... Let fate decide what's going to happen. Because I love him very very much, but I would also like to become a mother... Not now, not too soon (besides being in my 30s I'm not prepared yet, but of course I would like it to happen in a future)

What kind of background are you looking for?

What does "let fate decide" mean? Just remember that when you get pregnant, you're getting ready to bring a new person into the world who will have needs and worries and the need for parents who care, both parents. It's something you should go into with clear eyes and no trickery.

click to expand

"Let fate decide" ... I mean... Leave it to destiny... I don't know how to say that in English... Like... Believe in destiny when something happens or not...

And if I got pregnant I wouldn't like to be alone. I would like to bring up a child in a home with both parents' love. At least to be able to provide him with affection and emotional stability.

And background. Well, this pisces and I get on really well. I love him too much and he loves me too much too. We have lots of things in common and we have a healthy relationship. But in case he doesn't want to have a family... I don't know what is more important for me... if being a mother or stay next to the one I love. Can a partner live together for long time without descendants? I'm afraid of what might come and I don't know how to deal with this situation. How can I ask him what he expects? Above all because we've been together for 14 months and that's not too much. We are still getting to know each other.

Posted by Phantom_Limbo

Posted by AdrianaCrabTor

Posted by Phantom_Limbo

Posted by AdrianaCrabTor

Posted by Phantom_Limbo

My Pisces husband has known he didn’t want kids since he was a kid and his mind has never changed for a moment. He’s closing in on 50 now.

Can you give some background, please? I think I won't find the connection I have with my pisces. We have gone through several situations... we have shared many beautiful things. He's been like a fortress to me... he is a great person with a huge heart. And I know he loves me. I'm sure he loves, I can feel it and I can see it. And I don't want to mes up (spoil) the potential of this relationship but I don't know how to deal with it. If should worry about or just let things flow... Let fate decide what's going to happen. Because I love him very very much, but I would also like to become a mother... Not now, not too soon (besides being in my 30s I'm not prepared yet, but of course I would like it to happen in a future)

What kind of background are you looking for?

What does "let fate decide" mean? Just remember that when you get pregnant, you're getting ready to bring a new person into the world who will have needs and worries and the need for parents who care, both parents. It's something you should go into with clear eyes and no trickery.

"Let fate decide" ... I mean... Leave it to destiny... I don't know how to say that in English... Like... Believe in destiny when something happens or not...

And if I got pregnant I wouldn't like to be alone. I would like to bring up a child in a home with both parents' love. At least to be able to provide him with affection and emotional stability.

And background. Well, this pisces and I get on really well. I love him too much and he loves me too much too. We have lots of things in common and we have a healthy relationship. But in case he doesn't want to have a family... I don't know what is more important for me... if being a mother or stay next to the one I love. Can a partner live together for long time without descendants? I'm afraid of what might come and I don't know how to deal with this situation. How can I ask him what he expects? Above all because we've been together for 14 months and that's not too much. We are still getting to know each other.

I'm sorry if I sounded like an asshole. I've encountered more than a few very young girls who act all coy about not using birth control because they hope they'll get pregnant, but don't have the courage to admit it because it's frowned upon. They're bored or need unconditional love or are trying to trap the dad, like a baby is just a fashion accessory, and it doesn't matter if it has a capable family waiting for it.

It makes me furious. Okay, let me shake that off of me.

I think you and your guy should be on the same page about this very important issue if you're serious.

click to expand

I would never get pregnant on purpose just to trap the dad. Above all because I respect him. Any child who comes to the world should be desired and expected with love and conscious of what it implies. In fact, I have never been irresponsible with my sexuality. I have birth control. I'm not that experienced, but I'm not a little girl.

Anyhow, I won't get obsessed. I know I must have a talk with him about this issue. Just one last question, please, if it doesn't botter you. Do you consider I should ask this at this stage of my relationship? As I said before, we have been together for a year. We are still getting to know each other. I want him to be clear but I don't want him to feel pressure as if I wanted everything right now... I just want to have a vision of what to expect from this.

Posted by Phantom_Limbo

Posted by AdrianaCrabTor

Posted by Phantom_Limbo

Posted by AdrianaCrabTor

Posted by Phantom_Limbo

Posted by AdrianaCrabTor

Posted by Phantom_Limbo

My Pisces husband has known he didn’t want kids since he was a kid and his mind has never changed for a moment. He’s closing in on 50 now.

Can you give some background, please? I think I won't find the connection I have with my pisces. We have gone through several situations... we have shared many beautiful things. He's been like a fortress to me... he is a great person with a huge heart. And I know he loves me. I'm sure he loves, I can feel it and I can see it. And I don't want to mes up (spoil) the potential of this relationship but I don't know how to deal with it. If should worry about or just let things flow... Let fate decide what's going to happen. Because I love him very very much, but I would also like to become a mother... Not now, not too soon (besides being in my 30s I'm not prepared yet, but of course I would like it to happen in a future)

What kind of background are you looking for?

What does "let fate decide" mean? Just remember that when you get pregnant, you're getting ready to bring a new person into the world who will have needs and worries and the need for parents who care, both parents. It's something you should go into with clear eyes and no trickery.

"Let fate decide" ... I mean... Leave it to destiny... I don't know how to say that in English... Like... Believe in destiny when something happens or not...

And if I got pregnant I wouldn't like to be alone. I would like to bring up a child in a home with both parents' love. At least to be able to provide him with affection and emotional stability.

And background. Well, this pisces and I get on really well. I love him too much and he loves me too much too. We have lots of things in common and we have a healthy relationship. But in case he doesn't want to have a family... I don't know what is more important for me... if being a mother or stay next to the one I love. Can a partner live together for long time without descendants? I'm afraid of what might come and I don't know how to deal with this situation. How can I ask him what he expects? Above all because we've been together for 14 months and that's not too much. We are still getting to know each other.

I'm sorry if I sounded like an asshole. I've encountered more than a few very young girls who act all coy about not using birth control because they hope they'll get pregnant, but don't have the courage to admit it because it's frowned upon. They're bored or need unconditional love or are trying to trap the dad, like a baby is just a fashion accessory, and it doesn't matter if it has a capable family waiting for it.

It makes me furious. Okay, let me shake that off of me.

I think you and your guy should be on the same page about this very important issue if you're serious.

I would never get pregnant on purpose just to trap the dad. Above all because I respect him. Any child who comes to the world should be desired and expected with love and conscious of what it implies. In fact, I have never been irresponsible with my sexuality. I have birth control. I'm not that experienced, but I'm not a little girl.

Anyhow, I won't get obsessed. I know I must have a talk with him about this issue. Just one last question, please, if it doesn't botter you. Do you consider I should ask this at this stage of my relationship? As I said before, we have been together for a year. We are still getting to know each other. I want him to be clear but I don't want him to feel pressure as if I wanted everything right now... I just want to have a vision of what to expect from this.

Oh wow. I hate giving actual direct advice. You guys already discussed it pretty thoroughly, and he was clear. If he's also in his 30s, I doubt he's going to change his mind about this any time soon. As a man, he actually has time to wait, biologically, but you really don't. If it's important to you, you have a big decision to make, and I don't envy you.

What would he expect you to do if you got pregnant now?

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I don’t want to be the granny of my baby, but four years more would be acceptable for me. I’m almost 31. He is 28.

Approximately 5 or 4 months ago we discussed this -and I don’t remember why, I suppose we were talking about something not related to us- and he said he is not a lout.. oaf... (or I don’t know what’s the English word to name a man who is not responsible of his descendants and leaves the woman to grow them alone, and that he would support me) However, he has always talked about child as if he didn’t like them at all.

Well...Being together for bit over a year...in love very very much...from both sides...and he says he doesn’t want children and you want them but later. So you can NOW relate to him. You both don’t want children now. But you thinking if rs worth your time.

To me it’s NOT loving man very very much and him knowing that you want children isn’t seem like he is loving you very very much...because when man loves woman - he does what she wants.

What if you had a child before you’ve met? He wouldn’t consider you?

Do you know...both of you what does it mean loving one another?

Posted by Phantom_Limbo

My Pisces husband has known he didn’t want kids since he was a kid and his mind has never changed for a moment. He’s closing in on 50 now.

You don’t have children because he didn’t want them?

Posted by Phantom_Limbo

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by Phantom_Limbo

My Pisces husband has known he didn’t want kids since he was a kid and his mind has never changed for a moment. He’s closing in on 50 now.

You don’t have children because he didn’t want them?

No, it's a mutual decision. However, it's come up many times over the past 20 years, and there have been times when I've questioned whether it's the right decision, while he never has.

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Do you feel that you sacrificed for him? What if you said you want it and that’s what you want? What would he be doing about it?

Posted by Phantom_Limbo

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by Phantom_Limbo

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by Phantom_Limbo

My Pisces husband has known he didn’t want kids since he was a kid and his mind has never changed for a moment. He’s closing in on 50 now.

You don’t have children because he didn’t want them?

No, it's a mutual decision. However, it's come up many times over the past 20 years, and there have been times when I've questioned whether it's the right decision, while he never has.

Do you feel that you sacrificed for him? What if you said you want it and that’s what you want? What would he be doing about it?

If I insisted, he would go along with it. I have never insisted because I've never been sure I wanted a kid. It used to be convenient to blame him for that, as well as many other things, when I would get into one of my moods and become dissatisfied with my life out of boredom, but I'm not like that anymore.

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Good! I think you have to be totally sure about wanting a child. And if you aren’t - it’s better not to try. I’ve never been a baby’s person. I am happy I have my daughter but I never tell anyone or question ‘when are you going to have a baby?’...I think it’s stupid unless I am contributing at least 50% . And yes I believe couple can be complete just the way they chosen...

as supposed to give birth just because everyone else does. Good for you. 👍

Posted by Phantom_Limbo

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by Phantom_Limbo

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by Phantom_Limbo

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by Phantom_Limbo

My Pisces husband has known he didn’t want kids since he was a kid and his mind has never changed for a moment. He’s closing in on 50 now.

You don’t have children because he didn’t want them?

No, it's a mutual decision. However, it's come up many times over the past 20 years, and there have been times when I've questioned whether it's the right decision, while he never has.

Do you feel that you sacrificed for him? What if you said you want it and that’s what you want? What would he be doing about it?

If I insisted, he would go along with it. I have never insisted because I've never been sure I wanted a kid. It used to be convenient to blame him for that, as well as many other things, when I would get into one of my moods and become dissatisfied with my life out of boredom, but I'm not like that anymore.

Good! I think you have to be totally sure about wanting a child. And if you aren’t - it’s better not to try. I’ve never been a baby’s person. I am happy I have my daughter but I never tell anyone or question ‘when are you going to have a baby?’...I think it’s stupid unless I am contributing at least 50% . And yes I believe couple can be complete just the way they chosen...

as supposed to give birth just because everyone else does. Good for you. 👍

Thank you. It's something I've struggled with more because of fear of missing out on the magic and pressure from other people than because I wanted to be a mom. I love babies, and I like kids, sometimes, but I love handing them back so I can sleep when I want to and do all the other things I like doing without worrying about what is going on with this other little person. I would also like to see the genetic outcome of the two of us, but curiosity isn't a good enough reason to bring a person into the world either.

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Lol...curiosity is DEFINITELY not enough! It’s just assumed (because nobody asked really) that ALL women have motherly instinct. The fact that we CAN FIVE A BIRTH doesn’t mean we must! Same as here...how long does it take for XXX to get over an ex...or shit like that...😂😂😂