Enlighten me - I don't get it

I read on all the different signs, people who are wanting to know how to get someone back that they've lost. Or, how to win someone over. And I don't get this. Am I the only one who feels that if another person doesn't want you, move on. If you do indeed win that person over by lavishing them with something, how sincere is that? If the other person wants to be with you, for who you are, then they will. If they don't want to be with you, but will agree because you had to give them something, whether it's material, or ego stroking - that isn't real and does that really make you feel valueable?

Perhaps I can't a side that others may. If someone knows the answer that I can't find, please tell me because what I see in this scenerio is just people who want to feel wanted, even if it's superficial.

If you want me, you want me. If you don't, you don't. Can you really make someone love you and want you? I don't get it.

Normally, I'd agree with you in a heartbeat, but these days, I'm starting to
believe that anything is possible.

As far as old flames blazing together once more ... that I'm a little skeptical
about no matter what. I mean, I imagine the possibility of you and an old love
getting back together is high, it's just the staying together for the rest of
your lives that isn't very likely.

Either both parties involved would remember why they left eachother in the first
place, or one of them would feel that way, and the relationship would end again.

People break up and get back together all the time though .. love is strange
like that, I guess.

As far as winning someone's "heart" over with a big pretty shiny object, it happens
all the time, but it's never love. It's all material objects, sex, and fake love.

Last night I noticed a little aol news clip about "How to get back an old crush." And
all I could think was "Good luck keeping her." Lol. Anyways, just thought it was
funny you brought that up, because of the clip I saw.

Yes, I suppose you're right about some of this. People breaking up and getting back together, but, I'm not sure it has anything to do with love. Of course, the word love is a very poor description of how one really feels, eh. I love my dog, I love ice cream, I love television programmes - are those feelings of love even remotely close to how I feel about my partner? Not even !!!!

Thanks for sharing your views and I will process them to help me re-evaluate my position on the topic.

I'm as confused as you are P-Angel. Apparently there's an art form to swindling people back into ones arms. Mostly people tend to want what is seemingly out of reach. Once the thrill of that chase is gone you need to be able to swindle them in to hanging around. This is the hard part, this is the part where both subjects personalities plays a strong role. If these personalities clash time and time again or one has a need for more stimulation than the other you're going to see problems and you'll probably see them in a reoccurring pattern. Breaking up and getting back together may be a part of this pattern. Funnily enough, this cycle probably won't end with the couple getting back together and inevitably they will break up deeming the whole period of your life a big fat waist of time.

Stupid yes but most of us have been here at least once in our lives. Hopefully not after High School though

But, is that real? The "Art Form" of swindling. What purpose does it serve?

I guess what really boggles my mind is how low the person must really feel about thierselves. They don't believe that someone could love them and want them for who they are and the qualities they have to offer, so they have to have some kind of bargaining of material things, or, decietful words of endearment.

That's not love and I just can't process that as being so. A big, fat waste of time is exactly what it is. Which we all waste time, like here, for example. But, when it comes to love - that is really damaging. Say 10 years down the road, after playing these games with yourself and not really feeling for someone - you meet your partner. Then what? He/she will be scard off because you appear as those you're not in touch with yourself, you don't know how to love someone. It might be true, but that is how looks to the other person. They will be reluctant to open up to you, in fear of you playing them to stroke yourself and your ego.

When I look at people around me who've been together for a long time, have raised kids, tenure in their careers, and have a loving and stable life with their partner - they didn't break up, get back together, break up, get back together. They didn't play these games with each other. They met, fell in love and stayed together. So, it's back to my original thought: if someone wants you for who you are, then they want you. If they don't, walk away and move on.

Another thing about this that is very disturbing to me, is what if a person that is being played with, has true and sincere feelings for you. Is the self-serving satisfaction of the chase and the catch, just to throw away because you never really cared in the first place, if someone's heart was broken in the process, that is a travesty, that's just wrong. And, I hate to admit it, but, it's usually the females who play with people's feelings. It's very disturbing to me, that's why I brought it up in the first place.

Its not about love 90% of the time with alot of people.Its about what they want generally,if you were to try to explain the other side to them they don't give it much thought and still go for what can they do questions or your taking thier side or some other lame crap.I don't see why they got to the point that they did break up instead of talking in the first place if they really do "love" them.

Dear P Angel you are not alone if they don't want you set them free, if you cant live with them and you cant live without them , find a way without them.