Dreamy-Eyez
@Dreamy-Eyez
20 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 460 · Topics: 67
Finding That Balance.
Depth Charge,
I'm definetly under the impression that this my be a solid friendship. I've known him for nearly a year now, but then again things do change. Jesse knows that I've never met anyone like him before. I mean, I have never had a guy friend to step up to the plate and be comfortable being a close friend to me. (EVER)It's really rare to me, but I'm trying to get over "the wide-eyed icredulous feeling" and just act within the moments that I have with him. Our interaction is playful, humorous and communicative. Our co-workers would stand around us wondering what were talking about, but we don't stop talking because they're listening. All that matters is that were. . . "bonding?". (I think that's the correct term.) When he said that my sexuality wasn't an issue, he definitly meant that and it feels great knowing that. The playful element of our friendship is like the icing to the cake. It's not superficial, because there are some other elements that make it pretty strong. There's the honesty, support, thoughtfulness, and many other healthy, positive feelings. I hope that this friendship stays around in my life for a long time.
I'm definetly under the impression that this my be a solid friendship. I've known him for nearly a year now, but then again things do change. Jesse knows that I've never met anyone like him before. I mean, I have never had a guy friend to step up to the plate and be comfortable being a close friend to me. (EVER)It's really rare to me, but I'm trying to get over "the wide-eyed icredulous feeling" and just act within the moments that I have with him. Our interaction is playful, humorous and communicative. Our co-workers would stand around us wondering what were talking about, but we don't stop talking because they're listening. All that matters is that were. . . "bonding?". (I think that's the correct term.) When he said that my sexuality wasn't an issue, he definitly meant that and it feels great knowing that. The playful element of our friendship is like the icing to the cake. It's not superficial, because there are some other elements that make it pretty strong. There's the honesty, support, thoughtfulness, and many other healthy, positive feelings. I hope that this friendship stays around in my life for a long time.
Dreamy-Eyez .. with the money thing. Normally, I'm pretty good with money .. was taught to be tight by my dad .. but, in my Piscean nature .. I can still spend money on stupid stuff. And, I've found that it's mostly impulsiveness .. so, since this is what causes the money to fly out of my bank account .. this is where the work was needed.
Try stepping back when the urge hits you to buy something. Don't tell yourself that you can't have it because if you do, you'll want it even more. Tell yourself, you're gonna buy it tomorrow .. by tomorrow, the intensity of the want has diminished some and then you can walk away and say, "Heck, I really don't need that."
Anyway, that's what I do .. maybe it will work for you.
As for Jesse .. I don't doubt that he's just as much a dear friend as you say, for you've been working together at Papa's for a while now .. but, you have to keep in mind that when you came out, not so long ago, he was the one standing there, supporting you.
My point is that it's matter of perspective .. if you're telling yourself that he's a wonderful person and has been all this time, then your friendship with him will grow ever stronger and perhaps, lifelong .. but, if your telling yourself that he was there to support me when I came out and now I owe him a lot because he stood by me and didn't judge, then in time, your opinion of him could change because your viewing him as a tool for what he has done for you during this time, rather than who he is as a person.
The only reason I say this is because when you talk about Jesse .. you reference your sexuality, so this is very much apart of your attraction to him. I don't mean that you're sexually attracted, rather, his acceptance of it .. oftentimes, we are attracted to people who are accepting of our deeds, rather than the person itself.
Anyway .. I hope you find what you need to feel complete and again, congrats on allowing yourself the right to truly live within yourself for who you are.
Try stepping back when the urge hits you to buy something. Don't tell yourself that you can't have it because if you do, you'll want it even more. Tell yourself, you're gonna buy it tomorrow .. by tomorrow, the intensity of the want has diminished some and then you can walk away and say, "Heck, I really don't need that."
Anyway, that's what I do .. maybe it will work for you.
As for Jesse .. I don't doubt that he's just as much a dear friend as you say, for you've been working together at Papa's for a while now .. but, you have to keep in mind that when you came out, not so long ago, he was the one standing there, supporting you.
My point is that it's matter of perspective .. if you're telling yourself that he's a wonderful person and has been all this time, then your friendship with him will grow ever stronger and perhaps, lifelong .. but, if your telling yourself that he was there to support me when I came out and now I owe him a lot because he stood by me and didn't judge, then in time, your opinion of him could change because your viewing him as a tool for what he has done for you during this time, rather than who he is as a person.
The only reason I say this is because when you talk about Jesse .. you reference your sexuality, so this is very much apart of your attraction to him. I don't mean that you're sexually attracted, rather, his acceptance of it .. oftentimes, we are attracted to people who are accepting of our deeds, rather than the person itself.
Anyway .. I hope you find what you need to feel complete and again, congrats on allowing yourself the right to truly live within yourself for who you are.
P-Angel,
You know something? I see what you're saying because if I consider him as a tool instead of considering him as a person, then it'll never turn out to be one of those lifelong friendships. Yeah, I'm not using him as some sort of tool from the moment I came out to him and my mother. We're both learning new things about each other everyday. I always make sure I say, "Thank you" for the little things that he does and show my appreciation within the moment. I just want to take a deep breath, relax, take my time and nuture this new-found friendship with patience and humility.
DepthCharge,
Thanks for sharing about you're two Virgo female friends. I thought it was pretty awesome how you all would provide a safe haven for eachother during the hard points in life.
Hi Archer,
You know something? Sagittarians are really freakin' awesome. I use to think, "Oh my, a fire sign! I'm going to get fried!"Instead, I get warm laughs, hugs, and an un-expected connection. Who knew? (I didn't.) I thought I was dead meat with a Sag. -Dreamy-eyez, out-
You know something? I see what you're saying because if I consider him as a tool instead of considering him as a person, then it'll never turn out to be one of those lifelong friendships. Yeah, I'm not using him as some sort of tool from the moment I came out to him and my mother. We're both learning new things about each other everyday. I always make sure I say, "Thank you" for the little things that he does and show my appreciation within the moment. I just want to take a deep breath, relax, take my time and nuture this new-found friendship with patience and humility.
DepthCharge,
Thanks for sharing about you're two Virgo female friends. I thought it was pretty awesome how you all would provide a safe haven for eachother during the hard points in life.
Hi Archer,
You know something? Sagittarians are really freakin' awesome. I use to think, "Oh my, a fire sign! I'm going to get fried!"Instead, I get warm laughs, hugs, and an un-expected connection. Who knew? (I didn't.) I thought I was dead meat with a Sag. -Dreamy-eyez, out-
🙂 You're awesome, dude .. life is beautiful to you because you are.
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Also, another thing I'm worried about is what I've read about Pisces guys, because I'm one. It's the part about being hard to pin down. I haven't been in a serious relationship ever because for so long I've been wrestling with my sexual identity. Now that the wrestling is over, I'm at peace with myself. Dating? I don't know. I'm just afraid of being that guy who'll hurt someone just as they are emotionally vulnerable to me. My friend Stephanie is making it seem as if my friend, Jesse cares for me more than I may know. Honestly, I enjoy my friendship with him because he's not threatened by my sexuality. Sure he's a sweet and thoughful guy, but that's just Jesse. (He's "Mr. Jovial".)I'm sure he's like that with everyone. I don't even take him seriously in a romantic sense, so it's easy to be friends. Basically, I'm just not trying to hear my friends taking about how he possibly may have a crush on me. That could ruin a beautiful friendship. Well, Take Care you all. Let Me know something. -Dreamy-Eyez, out-