Hello my fellow friends

Hi all,
it has been a while since I posted,
but I have been quite busy.
I spent a week in Manhatten interviewing for a great position with an ad firm. I don't know anything yet, but I went through the first 3 rounds and feel strongly about my performance.
All through this I still have found myself reflecting on my past situation, not dwelling... but just thinking.
It is funny, I sometimes wonder if Me and my prior will ever be able to be friends.
She seemed to move on alot easier as she is already seeing someone else.
After she dogged me I wrote her a pretty intense note on what some people told me about her and her past. Not mean.. actually quite honest, mature and still supportive.
While I had gone into a little bit of a depression with the combo break-up and lay-off. I found myself at a weak point and still worried about her being in a terrible spot with her abusive x-boyfriend. I went to her family knowing damn well it would kill any opportunity for us to re-unite. But, I felt it was more important to get this secret out into the open to end this drama for her, even if she did not want it to end. I did it out of caring for her and wanting a better reality, but... I know it will never sit right with her.
So, now I am faced with the reality that although her family appreciates all I did and really respects me for coming forward... she absolutely hates me.
Would I have done this if I was in a normal state of mind?? I dunno, I know it really wasn't my place, but... sometimes you have to suck up pride to try and help someone get on the right track. In any case, what if she truly was over with this guy anyway?? Than am I an asshole for doing what I did??
I really am having a hard time with being alright with myself, but... I have 3 sisters and would wanna know if they where in a situation like this too. I think that is part of where the protective side came out from.
The sad thing is that now I will never have this person as a friend again, as she does not understand where I was coming from... nor will I ever get the chance to explain. It does still make me sad, even with all the exciting stuff going on in my life. What does one do?? My sisters are all sick of seeing me not be myself and I have to shake this to start the new chapter I am about to begin.

Hey Joe!

We have gotten away from reality here on this post and gotten quite silly...

But, reality does remain...

I think what you did was awesome! What you did shows that you truly care. Her reaction sounds like the typical battered or abused woman reaction...shame...
For some reason they take the blame...like it was her fault it happened...

Someday, when her soul has recovered and she is mentally healthy again...she will appreciate what you did.

Glad to hear of your great sounding possiblity!! Made it through the first three rounds...that sounds very promising to me!!

Your family sounds very supportive...that is great! I tell my 14 year old that it doesn't really make sense to alienate yourself from your family as when the chips are down, they will be the ones who never turn you away...
However, not all realize this...
My brother has disappeared and we haven't seen him for at least a year...

Take heart in the fact that what you did signifies true caring for another individual, even while knowing that it may not be appreciated...wow, now that is selfless love. I admire that, Joe!

One day, I hope she realizes...
Who knows...maybe you two will never be friends...but, if she really analyzes the facts, she will realize that she could have no better friend than you!!

Take Care!
Star

Awww Joe. What about just letting it all go— Would starting over again really be so bad? Or perhap's asking simply to try and begin again by posting a new beginning...(might work) Just a freak, who drink's- too much...I'm not driving so...I don't give a crap's a** or a rat's a**. I only care about my own a**. (How selfish.) lol

Joe,

That last post made no sense whatsoever and was obviously posted by a dreg. Pay no attention to such posts! You are a good guy and I wish you the best!

Star

Joe- I agree with Star. I think that what you did was truly a gift. Even though you knew that she wouldn't forgive you, you cared enough about her to get her the help that she so desperately needed. You were willing to sacrifice having a relationship with her to help her. Star's right.. when she is healthy again she will always remember that you were the one that helped her. I'm happy that things are looking up for you. ~Thea

Yeah,
I suppose that is the only way to look at it. I think a new environment would be just the trick I need. I know one cannot run away from a problem, but not being in the vicinity to see her with other mates would be very healthy indeed. I must stop thinking about this whole situation as it tears me up inside. If she can't be alone, why was it that she would not be with me? I can only assume it is because she cannot commit herself emotionally to someone and I do need a level of commitment from my mate. My profession is highly stressful and it takes alot of my energy. The funny thing is I will always know how to make time for my mate and kinda expect the same in return.
Time heals all wounds, but I must let this go to allow time to work it's magic. I still try to write her every once and a while. Explaining myself, even though I know time will be the only thing that allows her to see why I did what I did.
Funny stroy... I was in Manhatten, talking to a girl... she asked me if I was dealing with someone elses problem!!
Stated that it was a girl and that she will be out of my life for awhile, but there will be a return. Kinda spooky, and not really what I want to hear because in my stste of mind it may make me cling onto some shred of hope.
I am a good-looking guy with alot of talent. There are tons of people out there. It just sucks when you give someone a second chance only to be let down again. We had that spooky kind of energy going that made it feel like it could last forever. Yet, like I said... she is already with someone else.
Sometimes I wish life was like a VCR and had a fast forward button!

Joe,

I think she knows she is not ready for someone who can give her security, love and a place to grow (emotionally, spiritually)...she is not yet ready to face her realities...

I am sure it is hard to see her with someone else though..
That would be hard for anyone!

I do think she knows what you represent. She is afraid of that...and if she is not ready for it, may only hurt you more...perhaps she knows that too.

You do have a lot going for you and you are a good looking guy! I saw your pic. Is that one of your sister's babies in the photo? Cute baby too!

Take Care!
Star

I know.
Which is why we cannot even be friends right now.
Oh well, it must not have been meant to be

Hey 68-65. I think you did the right thing. I believe you were- and are trying to project your honesty in every aspect of your life. Interviewing and going through three rounds is Intense. It makes a person feel like they are under a microscope. That may be how your feeling about that experience as well as your ex. I understand why you went to her family. If you cant talk with her and you need to "dump " your load, that wasyour option. If you had held your thought's inside it would have only done an injustice to yourself. What you did was right. If she cannot see that or is "mad as hell" just let that "simmer" for a while. Voicing yourself probably allowed you to clear that issue from your "to do" list. Maybe it has allowed you more mental room and time to focus on yourself? I would hope so. I dunno, just my thought's.

A "fast forward button?" Let's go- I'm waiting.

hey guy... thanks for that point of view, makes me feel better that I didn't act like a boob. Kinda been beating myself up over this, yet... it wouldn't of got that far if she had handled everyhting the right way in the first place. Which would've made me feel a lil more "important".

Awww, my heart would only just love to think that it could be true.

Love the boobie's...HAHAHAHAHHAHA -Where is C.B when I need him?

She's never going to handle thing's in the "preverbal" right manner. Why beat yourself up over it? We have all been there and done that. Pah-leeeze my friend.... Don't put yourself through this. Why would you ever question your own feeling's? Making other's understand your reasoning can become quite taxing. I try "not" to hit the "send" button. When I feel very passionately about a topic. I hit "send." Especially, when I feel very honest. Because I want to say what's on my mind. (You may ask yourself why I just did it? Push the "send" button?) I dunno...Most likely it's just another post. Does anyone else have any thought's on this topic? Call me a nut or whatever....

Joe,

I wish I knew why people must be rude...but, I don't.
I think talking about your feelings is a natural thing and sometimes helps one cope and understand things better. The funny thing to me is that some of the rude people have no problem when it is their feelings they are discussing...—

I think you are a great guy and I hope things work out well for you...
You will always have a friend here...just ignore the mean and nasty people...
I have learned that some people just do not know how to be open to all and be nice...
I don't get it...it doesn't make sense to me...but, it is a fact.

I wish you the best!
Star

Star,

I have to admit that you can give some good advice at times, but please remember, there are other opinions out there, whether you think they are good or bad, makes no difference. This is what makes the world go around K! You are everywhere on this site, and I have to admit you are sometimes annoying. You might be a nice person, but live and let live and let's see what other people have to say without your opinion
All Right!!!