Help, He's a swimmer!

Ok, I am new here and will try to make this story as quick as possible. I met a Pisces over a year ago. He was seperated, but not divorced when I met him. We went out a couple of times and at first talked on the phone, but then it turned to just texting from him. Long story short, I was in love right away. We ended up sleeping together, which was incredible. I got a text right after I spent the night saying how incredible it was and then he disappeared for two weeks, just to come back and tell me his ex wanted to get back together! ARG! He said it probably wasn't going to happen, but that made him think that he shouldn't be in a relationship with me if he was willing to go back to her. Ok, so I cried for a couple of weeks and then got back in to the dating scene. Started seeing someone else and who should text a month later? Yep, Mr Pisces. It was short and sweet, but made me realize I still loved him. Long story short...I stayed in my relationship and Pisces would text me every so often and check on me(probably to see if I was single yet) and I wasn't. Well, 7 months later I am single again and we ended up in bed together! He has texted me almost everyday, but I am so scared he will swim again! I asked if he wanted to be friends again on FB and he didn't respond and didn't text me today, so all my insecurities are back! I do know that he is on Match.com,and I did tell him that I couldn't completely give him my heart until I was certain that he was committed to me and he told me that he didn't know if he could commit fully either because he was afraid of hurting me again. So, why would he text me for 7 months and not want to get serious? What do I do? Should I tell him that I do want to be serious? I love him so much, but am scared to death to give him my heart, but then again I've done it anyway! Help!

Thanks some good info! We had already gotten to know a lot about each other the first time around and our physical attraction has always been very strong. I told him that I just wanted to get to know more about each other and just have fun. I just get paranoid about him flaking out again thats all. Should I text him or wait for him? I just don't want him to think I lost interest. Also don't want to be the "go between" girl. I am a Virgo btw. Also, I was thinking about getting back on Match myself, but think it would be awkward if I didn't tell him first because he will see me on there. How should I go about that?

Thank you Ian. I know that is what I have to do whether I like it or not. I am a worrying Virgo that has knots in her stomach😢 No text today either. What do you think about getting back on Match? I just feel like that would help me get my mind off of him, but I don't want him to think that I am no longer interested. We have known each other for over a year technically, how long do these guys take?! Sheesh! Do you guys like us to play hard to get or what? Some sites say to let you know how we feel, but how do we do that if you swim the other way when we do? I am holding strong and not contacting him, but it is killing me!

Wow, you really know what to say...just like my Pisces!! Ok... I had been dating the other guy. Me and the Pisces got to talking about sex, but he didn't realize I was "seeing other people" we had sex and then the next night I told him that I wouldn't be a booty call. He said that he wasn't sure what I wanted. He thought I was seeing someone still. I told him that we were seeing other people. That is when I told him that I didn't think I could completely give him my heart because he had broken it before until I was sure he was fully committed to me and that is when he said he didn't know if he could either because he was afraid of hurting me. We went on a date after that and slept together again. He texted me everyday and the last text was fine and now he disappeared. I asked him if he wanted to be friends on FB and he never responded and never texted after that. At this point I don't know what to text him if I did. Do I wait or tell him how I really feel. Yes, I do want a commitment, I am just scared of him hurting me again! Thanks so much for your great advice!

Well, the first time when we met, he was also dating someone else and didn't want to date us both so after the first date he chose her. A month later he comes back to me, We saw each other a few times and then for the first time slept together. Well, his not quite ex wife wanted to work things out and he said that he felt that if he even thought about getting back to her than "we" must not be right for each other. The next time was about a month later again and I was already with someone else. We started texting though and it got sexual and he felt bad and said we had our chance already and that he didn't want to come between me and this other guy. I told him I thought the same thing. That is was wrong to be talking to him when I was seeing the other guy. He said he was taking me off of FB because it was too much for him to see pictures of me and not think about me. Well, a few weeks later he texts again and said he still didn't want interfere with my relationship, but that is was the anniversary of when we met and he just wanted to let me know that he was glad to have met me and to have had me in his life. So, you see...he comes and goes and I don't know what to think anymore!

If I tell him, isn't that chasing him or pressuring him? Both of which Pisces hate?

Ok, soooo don't tell him then? Or wait til he contacts me and then tell him? I just don't want to scare him off either. Sorry I'm being such a girl!!

Thanks Ian I appreciate all the great advice. It's so unfair for him to keep me in the dark like this though! I'm getting an ulcer!

I guess it's just that the other times that he didn't text or call, he came back with a four page text telling me why we couldn't see each other anymore! I'll try to relax..Thanks again🙂

I asked him to be friends on FB again? Isn't that hint enough?

Ok I'll try that. I'm just afraid that if I go ahead and tell him how I feel that he will come back and say he is seeing someone else and that is the real reason he isn't texting!

Your probably thinking.. No wonder this guy swam away, she's crazy and thinks too much!!

HaHa! Ok, you really made me feel better🙂

Ians given you really voluminous info. We come and go and we need to be alone sometimes. Im quiet and conservative in most respects. He hurt you but hes hanging around so something about you obviously has a magnetism that points his internal compass to you. Ian is right time.... use it show patience. Any pressure on a pisces man to do anything other than what he wants pollutes the emotional waters we swim in, thus causing us to look for a less destructive situation.

If you would like a small fact. Divorced men actually make better second time companions but only once they've reached a stage in the emotional recovery that allows their heart freedom. Pisces men being more emotional i would say that his recovery will be longer. Thus hes going to be jittery flighty and very slow to trust. Some pisces men can be projects but if you can let his emotional sponge pick up a trust worthy vibe youll have a better shot.

Everyone carries emotional battle scars and they define who you we are as a lovers and friends. It can be hard for us to open up with out past relationships because once we forget someone we tend to wish them forever forgotten. Sure we remember them in vivid clarity at moments or through dreams. But to actually dive into the situation with someone else we are considering romantically....... surely you jest.

We tend to like a woman who carries a whip in her back pocket. Show some self confidence by doing as Ian says and be direct. Better you find out whats going on in his head then wallow on these forums looking for advice that wont truly have any impact on your perception of the situation. If you manifest the wrong discovery to your queries with him then youll of course receive negative returns.

You deserve and answer and to be happy just like any other soul. Define yourself with him and give his mental embodiment of you the form that you wish it to have. You gave up the goodies and so what? you liked him you had some carnal experiences with him. You have to show him that you gave in with strength. No responses for some time are actually pretty normal.

Your not crazy but you can damn be sure he is. Every pisces man is crazy. Thats why we need strong women with the ability to ground us without squashing our fragile dreams. If you tread on our dreams you do so at the expense of our heart and our unending quest for romance. If you want him you litterly have to catch him. If your nets not working the go get a pole and reel him in slowly.

Wow! That was inspirational! I am just a little confused though. You both tell me that he needs his space and time away, but yet to go fishing? Be strong, but don't chase him. Am I supposed to do all this when he comes back to me or go get him?! I couldn't sleep at all just wondering if I should text him a "hey how are you text" or a feeling text like "hey hope everything is ok with you". I wish I wasn't like this! I hate being a worrier all the time and being sick to my stomach😢

Ok, so I gave in and texted him. Just said "Hope you had a good week and have a Happy Friday." He texted me back and said, "Well hello, youre alive! Week's been busy, but good. How's yours?!" HELLO! Of course I'm alive! What is that suppose to mean! Well, I didn't say that. I did squeeze in an "I missed you", which maybe I shouldn't have, but oh well. Anyway, at least I heard from him. I'll keep you posted. Thank you all for putting up with my drama!

So, glad i'm not alone either! Well, after I said I missed him I never got a text back! I may have to give up on this one, but my heart is so tied to him I'm not sure I can. Plus I know he will come back again, but who knows when. The other Pisces guys say to tell him how I feel and be direct, but I'm not sure how to be direct without him feeling pressured. I want to just tell him that we are either in this or we aren't!

Ok, I was a little emotional. Obviously I can't give up on him I care about him to much and have held out this long! I just have to learn how he works and you all are helping me with that. Thanks! It's just that we talked/texted every day and saw each other for 3 wks and then all of a sudden he is distant. So, I of course take that as he is not interested in me anymore. I really should start doing yoga!

What are his other placements?! Birth time/place makes his chart more accurate, but even knowing his birth date will give you more info! I'm especially interested in his Moon (emotions) and his Venus (love and relationships), and possibly his Mars (energy and way of doing things, his drive. (I'm thinking he's got some Air influence!) Pisces men and women have a few (minor) differences to be sure, but in many, many ways they are the same. I'm probably not a typical Pisces woman (Taurus Moon and Aries Venus) especially in relationships, and your Pisces man might not be a TYPICAL Pisces Man either, however...

Ian and thefish and Kaleidescorp are SOOOO spot on! Pisces are attracted to a bit of confidence, the strength we need to ground us without driving us INTO the ground, without controlling us... that's where Virgos can be such a blessing to Pisces, and vice versa when the Pisces teaches the Virgo to feel more and think less, to relax and just BE, comfortably, without always pushing forward and demanding results NOW. Virgo and Pisces ARE opposites, and as such, it's generally either Heaven or Hell, rarely anything in between. Either it works or it doesn't. Some Pisces are better suited than most for Virgos, and vice versa. I'm one of those Pisces, and I firmly believe in the magic and possibilities of the Virgo/Pisces match.

But we Pisces need someone with acceptance for our "flaws" and ... stick-to-it-iveness. We DO get sidetracked, overwhelmed, engrossed in things. We DO take our time and space and seem to swim to shallower waters and disconnect from you at times. And we'll always do this, no matter how much we love you. It doesn't mean we don't want to be with you - it means we are taking the time to give ourselves what we need, because otherwise we're useless to ourselves and everyone else. Maybe think of it as him recharging his batteries to be BETTER for you? I'd be MUCH more worried and concerned here if the guy WASN'T taking space - that's a Fish denying their very nature in order to reassure someone, or be something they're not, or to please someone else. And when that goes on too long, it backfires badly when the Piscean need for space crashes down and overwhelms and ends up just causing the Fish to swim away completely.

Pisces aren't rumored to be the biggest go-getters out there for a very good reason. We're more often observers. A lot of times, we're the ones sitting in a crowd, quiet and mysterious, looking around with a tiny, amused, enigmatic smile. We're charming and friendly, but we aren't like a Libra, life of the party and going around to talk to everybody there! (My Libra used to think I wasn't having a good time because of this - not true!) We watch people, we feel them out, we see their actions and reactions, and we sense their deeper intentions and motivations. We draw you in, because you are intrigued. Rarely will a Pisces do a lot of chasing (maybe one with A LOT of Fire in his chart!) so I think it's more difficult for Pisces men than for the women. Pisces girls can sit back and wait to be approached, to be the one being pursued, and it's all good. But Pisces men... society says men must be go-getters, must hunt, chase, pursue, capture... and though Pisces men CAN take initiative (don't mistake any of their laid-back tendencies as passivity or weakness, mind you!).. they'd much prefer to go with the flow. So you'll have to LET a Pisces man KNOW you're interested, not playing games, and that he's NOT just a name on a list to you... that's what he's waiting for. (That's also one way that Virgo and Pisces are similar, you know!) So ONE of you needs to get past waiting for the other to be upfront about their interest and desires and intentions. To him right now, you may seem content with the occasional talks/txts and the occasional get together. You haven't asked for more, you aren't telling him you want more. YOU may think it's obvious - practical Virgo, "If I'm still here, of COURSE I want more!" but what a Pisces sees is that you are happy with the current level of involvement. Pisces will NEVER assume that you want more, until you SAY SO! (Was a minor issue with me and my Libra at one time - he thought it was obvious, but never SAID so, eventually was frustrated by the lack of moving forward. But *I* was still seeing "happy with the current level of involvement" and would not push for more, or even OFFER more without him saying so!) See how this can be a problem?

Also. YES, Pisces are CRAZY. You cannot out-crazy a Pisces, no worries! What you CAN do is make one think they cannot possibly make you happy (which is all we want - love and happiness, truly!), if you are all over the map with your emotions. We understand emotions. But we already have enough to deal with internally (from ourselves and from what we "sponge" up from our environment), we don't want to also deal with someone who cannot deal with their own emotions. Occasional outbursts, no problem. Getting overwhelmed by your emotions and shutting down, that too we understand. But "I love you" one minute and "I give up" the next... that's someone who doesn't even know what they want, so they cannot possibly know they want to be with US! We don't like "breakup games".. we don't like games, period. Giving up is a LAST resort for us, and only when all other avenues are exhausted. So, if you tell (or show) your Pisces "It's over!" to get a reaction.. oh, you'll get one! It might even galvanize him into whatever action you were hoping for... but at a huge cost. Because then you've planted the seed, the poison seed that tells a Pisces that you aren't serious about them, that you don't know what you want, and that you play emotional games to get what you think you want. Eventually, that tree (if nurtured a couple more times with a couple more games) bears fruit.. and the Fish swims away. How long this takes or how many times you can push your Fish is all down to the individual Fish, and how strongly they feel about you. In the beginning stages of a relationship, this will kill it fast though. NO GAMES.

So be honest, upfront, without being pushy or demanding. Tell him what you want, where you'd like this to go, but please don't freak him out with talk of living together and marriage and babies and stuff yet, k? "I feel good when I'm with you and I'd love more time with you. I don't want to hang on indefinitely waiting for something that may never happen. I feel lonely and ignored when I don't hear from you. It would feel great to hear from you more." "FEEL" is more powerful than you know with a man, as is "I don't want"... men (ESP Pisces) aren't afraid of genuine emotions like we women have been told. They are afraid of the emotional EXPLOSION that comes when a woman keeps stuffing down and ignoring her true feelings. They aren't afraid of what a woman doesn't want.. that sets her limits and boundaries, and gives him a frame to work in.

Thank you Nefer! Wow, another great view. Thank you so much for the examples of things to say! He did text me again today🙂 I guess I just need to chill like everyone says to do. Weird thing is that we get in to these role playing kind of conversations. Like we are talking about us, but using other terms. Anyway, so much for being direct, but it's kinda fun and an easy way to talk about us without feeling pressured I guess.

OK Ian and Nefer I need some help. Today I saw my Pisces and he seemed a little off, but we had a good time together. However, when we went to lunch we somehow got into relationship conversation, wasn't started by me, it just came up. He then started saying that he wasn't sure he wanted a relationship at all and that he might just concentrate on his kids right now and in 10 years maybe he would do his thing! But in between that he said things like he felt so good when he was with me and so comfortable and things like, when I didn't text him for two days he wondered why. He said he wants to be able to call and go out, but that if he doesn't ask me out he doesn't want me to be hurt that he didn't. He wants things to stay the same like calling everyday and seeing each other. He told me to listen to a song called "Free" by Zac Brown Band and I am completely confused as to WTF this guy wants!! He wants things to be as they are, but says marriage is something that seems very far away and he knows that is what I want. I told him yes, I do want to eventually remarry, but I am not on a timeline. Seems he is just as confused as I am. It wasn't more than a couple of months ago that he said he was ready to strap on the boots of dating and even ready to introduce the kids to that part of his life. He was also talking about how he isn't happy with his current job and he wants to leave a legacy, but doesn't know what it is he wants in his life. He just seemed so down today😢 But we still seemed connected somehow. Oh one more thing he said is that he likes how things are now, but he is just afraid of the next step. He thinks it will be so complicated trying to fit in a relationship with only having one day every two weeks without his kids. That he will want time with his friends too, which I told him was fine. I said I didn't expect him to give that day up for me everytime. How can I make this easy for him? Or can I? I know in my heart that I will never meet someone that does what he does to my heart. I told him it was fine, but that he can't just have me to myself if he doesn't want a relationship. I will date other people, but that I will be sexually exclusive to him. He said he understood, but seemed a little upset at the same time.

Oh Nefer his birthday is March 3, 1970 just before noon if that helps🙂

Actually I'm not the one who brought it up and I was not pressuring whatsoever. I was fine with how things were at the moment. He was just down today and brought all this up.

"I will date other people, but that I will be sexually exclusive to him."



wtf?


Yeah, I'd probably swim away from that much pressure, trying to be hidden in the form of emotional freedom, but, is really in place to trap .. there would be no other reason to tell a man something like that.

What are you playing at?

He wants to sleep with me, but not have a relationship...How did I become the bad guy?

Well, not exactly. I said I didn't think I could fully commit until I was sure he was committed, but after this talk I told him that he had my heart from the first date. I even asked him is he wanted me to step back now and he said no. Do you think I offended him? Didn't mean to.

I also said yesterday that yes I eventually wanted a relationship, but I wasn't on a timeline. However, am I supposed to wait around and see if he calls every few weeks and not date other people? I just feel used, like he is just asking me out when he needs an ego boost. I just don't want to "date" like that for forever when he said he may never commit. Is he just saying that because he is afraid of losing his freedom? Is there a way that I can change his mind if I just let him know that I don't want to take his freedom and that I am patient?

Posted by curleymom3
I told him it was fine, but that he can't just have me to myself if he doesn't want a relationship. I will date other people, but that I will be sexually exclusive to him. He said he understood, but seemed a little upset at the same time.

This is actually perfect. Now follow through, or it's all just big talk. You'll meet resistance, both from women who don't understand the mechanics and meaning of this and erroneously think it's a manipulation game, and from the men who wish to have a (sex) partner all to themselves, without any emotional investment whatsoever. Of course he isn't thrilled. NOW he'll have to put forth more effort if he wants you all to himself; it's not going to be as easy as it was. Enjoy DATING him.. and dating OTHERS.. and dating YOURSELF.

Go out to lunch or have coffee with someone, get out there and don't wrap yourself up in this one (feet-dragging) guy. Keep busy and happy, so it won't matter so much if he does or does not call. If you have difficulty with dating others right now, then date YOURSELF. Do something you like.. go to lunch, get a mani-pedi, get your hair done, see a movie, go to a museum or gallery, feed birds in a park, take a class, start a hobby, whatever appeals to you. Seem silly? Doing nice things for yourself will change your vibe from waiting and needy to happy and secure... guess which one is more attractive?

Dating others (but remaining sexually exclusive to one) gives him the time and space to decide what he wants without pressure or expectations from the woman, it remains up to him entirely how fast to go or how much to commit.. Men KNOW they shouldn't expect to have a woman all to themselves without whatever level of commitment a particular woman wants... but many try, and many women go along with it anyway, perpetuating the Crazy Train cycle.

Posted by curleymom3
He wants to sleep with me, but not have a relationship...How did I become the bad guy?

click to expand

You aren't. He's testing your boundaries, as men do. Like I said, you'll meet with resistance. Stay strong and love YOURSELF first. The rest will fall into place.

Thank you Nefer and Bella. I am confused as well...I want a relationship with him and that is what I want. However, he is not ready and may never be. So, by dating other people it will either help me get over him if that is what I need to do or at least help me not focus so much on him every second. I was honest with him in telling him that I did want a relationship and he did have my heart and always would. Not trying to be contradicting just walking on egg shells. Not sure what to say or do, but I do know what I want and that is HIM. What I don't know is how long I can wait for him. I guess I will know when I know.

Nefer...you asked for his birthdate and info last time. Did you see that on my other post?

I also didn't act like I was cool with everything. I told him that I felt sad and my eyes teared up when he told me. So, he knows I'm not ok with it. It's just now I have to figure out what I can handle and what I can't.

I have no idea how to do any of that. I believe in it, but am clueless! He was born in Colorado, i think that's all I know🙂

Big Sissa, Sun and Moon aren't that different... it's just an entirely new way of approaching dating and relationships that you haven't been exposed to. That's okay, I'll convert you next 😉

Back when we were young (and before), a man was still generally expected to eventually settle down with a good woman - and that "good" woman was usually the one he'd invested a lot of time and emotion into, by dating her. Eventually, he knew he'd have to buy his woman a ring. Nowadays, there is less emphasis placed on personal relationships and more on personal freedom... so we have a rash of men wanting to have his cake and eat it too (though deep down, he knows he shouldn't be able to) and women who are trying to approach relationships like men, or willing to go along with this - not knowing any other way.

I'm not advocating dishonesty or game playing of any kind; I abhor games. This is about being responsible for your own emotions, and taking care of yourself. Being honest with yourself and others, and standing true to your boundaries (what you want, and what is and is not acceptable). NOT getting so wrapped up in a guy (esp near the beginning of relationships!) that you're doing all/most of the work (over functioning) and not being true to your boundaries... this has a nasty habit of backfiring. The men don't become emotionally vested in the woman, lose attraction, and find it easy to move on to someone else because he's done little work for this "relationship" and has little invested but some time. This is especially hurtful to women who do not realize that being perfect and wonderful and giving him great sex will not make him fall in love with her... she becomes emotionally attached, he does not - he leaves and she is crushed, but he is not. Happens over and over.

Personally, I would not be in a sexually exclusive LDR with a man (an EX, no less?!) who states he doesn't want a real relationship anyway, but wants to sleep with me. Seems pointless, esp if I know what I want eventually is a relationship. Sure, I've done FWB before - it's not always that great, and can get sticky indeed. In this case, I would be sexually exclusive to MYSELF, and date up a storm. Dating doesn't have to mean sex... it's just enjoying the company of other people. But YOUR sexual choices are YOUR choice, and I do not judge. Sleep with him or don't. Date TEN guys and sleep with them or don't - your choice. Just not exclusivity with an "imaginary relationship"!

I saw his birthdate, but couldn't do much without birthplace, and forgot to ask for it LOL

http://www.alabe.com/freechart/

Go there, input your infos.

This is what I got for him:
Name: Astrolabe Customer
March 3 1970
11:53 AM Time Zone is MST
boulder, CO

Rising Sign is in 00 Degrees Cancer
Very sensitive by nature, you prefer to be in your own familiar surroundings. Cautious and conservative, you make changes in your life only very slowly, if at all. You do not open up easily to strangers. Friendships are made for life, however -- once given, your trust is forever. Your mother, your home as a child and your early family life in general are very important to you. You are also very sentimental. When you feel self- confident, you are gentle, giving and protective of the needs of others. But when you feel insecure or threatened, you become overly sensitive to criticism, shy, withdrawn and moody. You have a strong need for security -- in the sense that you are being loved, nourished and protected.

Sun is in 12 Degrees Pisces.
Extremely sensitive and emotional, you absorb the emotions of others (whether positive or negative) like a sponge. Emotionally vulnerable, you are easily upset and tend to cry readily. You are at your best when you can structure your environment in such a way that you are surrounded by positive, upbeat people. You are very helpful and understanding of the needs of others. Indeed, at times this can be a disadvantage, because you can be a sucker for anyone who needs help. Shy, dreamy, romantic in nature, you delight in retreating into your private fantasy world. Just be careful that you do not get lost in it! Trust your intuitions -- you may be quite psychic.

Moon is in 17 Degrees Capricorn.
You are serious and shy and very uncomfortable in those situations where spontaneous and exuberant emotional reactions seem called for. An achiever, you prefer doing practical, worthwhile things that produce tangible results. You need role models to respect, love and emulate. You tend to feel that you're a failure unless you get an important and highly respected position in life. Don't be so hard on yourself! For you, practical needs always win out over emotional considerations. Remember that you too have the right to comfort, security and love. Dutiful and patient, when you make an emotional commitment, you sign on for the long haul -- your love is long- enduring.

Mercury is in 26 Degrees Aquarius.
You tend to be very opinionated -- you have strongly felt notions about things and are quite vocal about expressing and defending them. Yet you are also an original thinker -- you enjoy shocking others with your offbeat, original thoughts. You appreciate and need mental and intellectual stimulation. Your judgment is usually fair and impartial -- you can be a good critic because you can remain objective and unemotional about most things.

Venus is in 21 Degrees Pisces.
You have a dreamy, fanciful, romantic nature and a very creative imagination. Indeed, at times, your private fantasies are more appealing than the reality around you and it is difficult for you to leave them. You tend to be unselfish and giving in relationships and are extremely sensitive of the needs of others. Be very sure that those you help are worthy of your devotion and are not merely taking advantage of your innocence and naivete.

Mars is in 27 Degrees Aries.
You are very independent and self-assertive, and you have lots of physical energy. You are not satisfied unless you can be the first to do something. As such, you are more comfortable in leadership positions than you are as an underling. When you are challenged by anyone for anything, you delight in the competitive process and will fight long and hard for your beliefs. You are bold and courageous and often act without thinking. At times, in your zeal to get ahead, you are tactless and offensive -- learn that cooperation with others can often bring you nearer to your goals quicker because of the support you will get.

Jupiter is in 05 Degrees Scorpio.
You love to dig deep beneath surface appearances in order to find out what is really happening. A persistent researcher, you are very interested in the psychology of any situation. You tend to become overwhelmed by the complexity of what you uncover, however, and that makes you a bit gun-shy about explaining things to others. But you must learn to try to communicate as best you can because what you know is really very valuable to others.

Saturn is in 05 Degrees Taurus.
Complete freedom of choice makes you ill at ease. You must have a firm, ordered, secure foundation in your life in order to feel comfortable. You do not adapt easily and tend to fear the new and untried. You constantly fear that you do not have enough (love, property, material things, etc.) and this makes you tend toward being selfish, withdrawn and stingy. If y

Uranus is in 07 Degrees Libra.
You, as well as your entire peer group, have a very free, unstable and unconventional approach to relationships and emotional commitments. You will be attracted to experiments in marriage and shared life style s. Personal freedom is more important to you than entangling emotional bonds. In the realm of art and aesthetics, you are attracted to the bizarre, shocking and unusual.

Neptune is in 00 Degrees Sagittarius.
You, and your entire generation, are heavily involved in investigating and idealizing foreign and exotic intellectual systems and religious philosophies. The most extreme ideals will be pursued with gusto. You will be at the forefront of humanitarian attempts to improve the lot of those who are in need of assistance. You will be comfortable with the concept of the "global village."

Pluto is in 26 Degrees Virgo.
For your entire generation, this will be a time when profound changes in society's attitude toward work, duty and responsibility will be initiated. Radical changes in attitudes toward personal health and general nutrition will be promulgated and gain wide acceptance and practice.

N. Node is in 11 Degrees Pisces.
You're attracted to others who need your assistance. You seem to go out of your way to form relationships with those who are weak, sick, injured, addicted or troubled in some way or other. At your best you can indeed provide the relief that others need. But at times you can be victimized by those who would prey on your good nature and take advantage of you. This can lead to all sorts of negative situations -- make sure that those you assist are truly worthy of your time, energy and commitment. A little enlightened self-protectiveness on your part can make your life work much, much smoother!


Lotta Water in major placements. This is going to be one careful, slow-moving, easily-spooked, and possibly WISHY-WASHY guy, cuz his heart is OH SO TENDER!

Posted by seavixen2
venus in Pisces...
mars in Aries...*shudders*

And Moon in Cap and Cancer Rising... and the Mercury in Gemini...

I mean, this guy's chart is going to be at war with itself for a big chunk of his life... my Aries son has a very complex, contradictory chart like this one.. he's got a lot of challenges to face for sure! (Which explains why my kid is Jekyll and Hyde sometimes LOL)

Whoops. Meant Mercury in Aqua - not that it's a HUUUUGE difference! lol

Hmm after reading much more of what you have to say. i thought about how i would react in his situation. It would take a ton for me to marry these days. I could be swept away but i think like all pisces men i would hope that it was permanent. Divorce would be a crushing blow to the heart. Safety is key in pisces mental and emotional harmony.

Hes going to be protecting himself and scared shitless of the possibility of actually allowing full feeling in again. He will dodge you regret dodging, swim away and swim back again. He's interested but probably scared all to hell. If you have children already and the dad is really involved in the life of the children and in constant contact. It will be a problem for him. Its tough to bond emotionally with someone whos got a bond that is shall we say deemed unfinished. Whether in reality it truly is or not its a security issue. Something to do with an overactive imagination.

Ive said it before and ill say it again. All male pisces are fixer uppers. Your buying into a relationship that requires maintenance. Whatever you without ground is of absolutely no consequence or value. In his mind regardless of your ultimatum you are still somewhere on the other side of his rabbit hole a couple. You have to learn to be firm without showing anger but hold strength and truth in your eyes.

Hell be looking for the affirmation from you that even if he fucks up sometimes.. You are solid like a rock. Everything with us seems to be BIG. Mistakes are HUGE and the resulting make up or apology are even grander. You can make this an extremely traumatic emotional roller coaster for yourself by fighting and being standoffish or you could offer the safe haven he probably doesnt know hes looking for. It just has to click and only click once. If you gain that trust and he feels safe you in all effects own him and have taken a very loyal loving mate.

The current state of marriage destruction doesnt leave pisces to happy in reality these days. We believe in the disney fairytale of happily ever after with an insane devotion. But reality is there to throw bricks through our windows regularly. Whether admitted or not sometimes we test you if we think your not real or invested in us. We will bring the tears to you to check and make sure. Be tough and firm with him and give him the " I have love for you and i want only you. Not half or a part but all. I'll let you trust me, I'll let you love me. But i want all or nothing. "

don't give him room to decide to swim in circles with you. We like women who stand their ground and are tough but also able to be emotionally in tune with us. You actually have to sit down and learn about him. Even when hes not there. It is completely about understanding someone who truly believes with their entire being that they can not be understood or loved the same way that they themselves are capable of.

We are delusional and even if we think we are rational we are not. You have to dare to actually step out of reality to complete his puzzle. Its a tough sell for someone who cannot make believe and can send you running and screaming if you cant handle it. Theres such a difference between seeing it and trying to understand it and actually living it. You have to believe in him without really ever making it apparent. If you do push and prod he will stop time as you know it between the both of you and make an emotional and mental exit from you relationship.

We are prepared to be alone and feel alone but can never really actually accept a life devoid of partnership and love. We can be hard to permanently nail down if we are seriously jaded. But if you can weave a net of safety with just the right amount of holes that provide a means of exploration and enlightenment then you will catch and keep us with very little effort.

I cannot stress enough safety safety safety, and understanding. No matter how shit spinning crazy and idea or notion is just let it be. We get emotional and grumpy and wallow in pity and sometimes we fly high as a kite. Everyday we are normal and in every moment we seem right to ourselves. A girlfriend that is willing to shelter him from the cruel moments and push him out into the great ones will indeed find all that effort is returned in a different manner. We learn and we assimilate certain aspects and interests that our partner has.

If you also mimic this youll find some serious greatness being built between you two. You choose what you want! Then you spoon feed it to him. Make airplane noises if you want to or even send him to time out. But dont let him walk on you. Its odd but youll have to chase him and run from him at the same time. Make him interested but dont bend. Outright threats dont go well. You take 2 steps back and its hard to make up that ground. Pisces men are feminine and most of us fight it and wear masks. Youve got to love him enough to remove his mask and smash it in front of him. Only then will you be

real to him in both worlds.

Posted by ianthefish
you women just over think everything....

QFT. 😛

Posted by ianthefish
you women just over think everything....

HAHAHA

Posted by ianthefish
all the women combined are gonna have this guys head spinning out.....

now hes dealing with 6 womens tactics combined..

its a no wonder why all these pisces guys on the other spectrum of dxp crash and burn all the time.... they cant get anything by anyone after the women have gathered an army of pisces women against him...

just dont worry about how many times you call him, or how long you wait to respond... or whether or not you email, text or call.....

just fucking get on with it.... be there for us..... take care of us when we need it... let us take care of you when you need us.... pick us up when we fall... talk us back up when we are down... let us pick you up when youve fallen... let us talk you through whatever you need help with.... knock us down to earth when we float off....


this is all simple stuff....

dont over think it....

throw away your plans...

just let it flow...

I /co-sign on this Ian put it way simpler than i did. Good advice. Period. I asked the ladies about pisces women because thats the source. What you do with the source given you is your choice. Ians a regular and hes way more to the point than i am.

You guys are great and I always feel so much better after reading your posts! However, I didn't think I was over analyzing the fact that he didn't want a relationship. I made it clear what my feelings were and apparently he did to. But you are right, he does this and then comes back. But you said don't let him do that, but how do I not let him do that without an ultimatum of, "give me all of you or nothing" as you said. Can I just give you his phone number and you figure him out?! lol

Oh and thank you Nefer for all the info!! Appreciate it🙂

Trying to get a handle on Pisces men.. yeah, we're over analyzing a bit. Gotta.. you guys are purely impossible to understand at best 😛 And THIS particular Pisces guy has a very difficult chart, apparently. HE probably doesn't even know what he really wants!

*sigh* But my advice is not a "tactic"... I'm not talking about lying, playing games, making him jealous, giving him ultimatums to make him do anything he doesn't want to do, or about manipulating a situation. This is about setting and standing by your boundaries, taking care of yourself so that you don't become exclusive to a man within an imaginary relationship or a (long distance) occasional booty call type situation - BOTH situations are pending emotional disasters for a woman who has or develops feelings for the guy. If she's not ready to completely let him go (that's hard, especially when you have feelings for someone) then it's fine to just DATE him, with or without sex... but he absolutely should not be her ONLY option/interest while he's making up his mind and deciding if he does or doesn't even want a relationship with her (again?!).

Being his "solid rock" and loving him unconditionally (and exclusively!) when he's giving nothing back to her besides sex.. that's fucked up. You Pisces men can't possibly be advocating THAT?! 😢

I would date him but not knock boots with him. Its not an ultimatum... shes showing interest but holding back on intimacy until he figures out what he wants as well. Shes got to be fair to herself too. I get that but if you play games even little ones it fucks up that security net im talking about. Slow and steady wins the race in his case it sounds like.

Here is mine without time of birth; what do ya think?

Rising Sign is in 25 Degrees Scorpio
You tend to be quiet, reserved, secretive and, at times, quite difficult to understand. Others notice your deep emotions and feelings and wonder how to draw you out. Stubborn and tough, you fight for any position you believe in. You are very resourceful and formidable when you become angered or upset about something. You enjoy living life at the cutting edge -- for you life must be experienced intensely and totally. Quite courageous, you are willing to take calculated risks. Easily hurt by others, you often strike back with bitter sarcasm. Sensitive and curious, you are concerned with the deeper mysteries of human psychology. Once you have become interested in any subject, you pursue it with total fanaticism.

Sun is in 26 Degrees Virgo.
Extremely careful and cautious by nature, you value neatness and order above all else. You rigorously practice very high standards of living and conduct and you demand the same of everyone with whom you come into contact. At times, you are so supercritical that you are merely nit-picky. You are very good at practical skills and quite handy with tools of all kinds. You are also greatly concerned with hygiene, cleanliness and personal health problems. Very likely your health is much better than you think it is -- don't worry so much! Extremely methodical and analytical, you are a perfectionist -- this makes you the perfect person to carry out highly detailed, precise operations. But, at times, you pay so much attention to details that you lose sight of the larger issues.

Moon is in 11 Degrees Aquarius.
Very freedom-oriented, you must always be able to do what you wish, no matter what. You become stubborn and recalcitrant when others try to force you into a mold. You are a true democrat -- you are not a follower, but you enjoy being with those who are like-minded. You appreciate emotional self-control -- you practice it yourself and you look for it in others. You solve problems, including emotional ones, with your brains and intellect, not your feelings. Try to be tolerant of those who have powerful and obvious emotional responses -- not everyone is as objective, cool, dispassionate and detached as you are.

Mercury is in 26 Degrees Virgo.
Very thorough and efficient, you pay attention to the minor but important details of any project. You are a careful thinker who can learn complicated, intricate techniques. You ar

very critical of yourself and others, sometimes too much so, and you get the reputation of being a nag or of being nit-picky. Your first reaction to any situation is to try to organize, classify and analyze everything!

Venus is in 12 Degrees Leo.
You have a striking, regal appearance and demeanor that attracts others to you. Your friendship is highly sought and you tend to take friendships quite seriously -- you remain loyal and true to those to whom you are attached. For you, love is mixed with pride and respect. Relationships are over when you lose respect for your partner. Be careful of a tendency to relate only to those who make you look good -- the powerful, important and influential. This can lead to arrogance and selfishness, and neither of these qualities becomes you.

Mars is in 22 Degrees Virgo.
Very careful and systematic, you pay great attention to details. You are always seeking perfection and sometimes get bogged down searching for the ultimate when adequacy would have been sufficient. You dislike abstractions, preferring whatever is practical, useful and demonstrable. You have a strong and enduring sense of personal responsibility, and you demand that others be as responsible and upright as you are. Very critical of yourself and others, sometimes you carry this too far and become overly intolerant of others and their right to choose their own life style s.

Jupiter is in 29 Degrees Sagittarius.
You have a very strong sense of ethics and morality. You are widely read and may also be widely traveled because you are sincerely interested in expanding your knowledge of the world about you. At times, you have an annoying tendency to be self-righteous and preachy about your belief system. You are usually quite idealistic and you demand the right to be able to explore the entire world of experiences yourself. Remember to grant others the similar right -- be tolerant, not dogmatic.

Saturn is in 20 Degrees Gemini.
You are such a clear thinker and speaker, with a logical orderly mind, that you are repulsed by abstract, intangible or unorganized thoughts or ideas. But you tend to get uptight about speaking in public because you are afraid to be wrong. Remember that the best way to learn is by making mistakes. Also, you will be so carefully prepared that you probably will not make many mistakes anyway. To be interesting to you, ideas have to be practical and useful.

Uranus is in 17 Degrees Libra.
You, as well as your entire peer