I somehow screwed things up

Mr. Pisces and I were supposed to do dinner at his place last night... WE were going to cook together (new one for me). I called and couldn't get him... over and over again. I did go by his place but the car wasn't there. He called around 10pm and said I should have come to the door as he let his renter take the car. He said it was stupidity on my part to make the assumption he wasn't home and not knock on the door as he expected me. Abruptly ended the conversation and would not take my calls thereafter I was already hurt by the fact I didn't think he was home and we had plans... add insult to injury! So, in my huffy state I went over to his place, he wouldn't answer the door. So I tapped on his window. Still nothing - despite I could hear him telling his dog to hush. His renter came out for a smoke and I went in. Mr. Pisces asked what the hell I was doing and told me to leave... I said 'fine, sorry' he said 'you should be'. I called at 6:30 this morning and again at 9am. Nadda. Now, I don't know what to think or do. Everything has been going so wonderful and it just all came crumbling down.

LR: be a little more sensitive, I'm upset over this! You know how much I'm into him...

Ladybug, I think at this point he's a little more miffed over the fact I came over to his house and knocked not only on his door but his window as well (I'm sure he thinks that I was drunk, although I wasn't).

I left him a note on his car window last night that he would see this morning that said "You're an ass but, I love you - that's the easy part".

Don't be so upset.

I believe he is just pissed over the fact you and him could've spent a wonderful evening but he thinks you ruined it on your part. He will get over it, just need some time 🙂

Posted by Starfish225
"If you ask me, he is acting a bit childish."

Very childish, and hell why didn't he answer his phone in the first damn place. Apparently he did not want to see you that
bad bc if he did once you got there he would have not sent you away regardless to what to the fact..He sounds like a
asshole Pisces or not..And I can just bet what things will be like when and if you and him do get into a relationship..Shit
will always be your fault when things go wrong if its not he will sure find a way to make it..I would think long and hard on
this one love..

I agree with starfish, the second time you went over, he shouldn't have sent you away. It was really childish on his part.

All of that was said last night. His excuse was the phone was upstairs and he couldn't hear it (I left a msg, but he says he doesn't listen to his msgs anyway). And why didn't he think to call me sooner, if he thought I was going to be there at 7:30... when 8pm rolled around (at the time I was driving by his place since I hadn't been able to reach him) shouldn't he have been on the phone seeing where I was and what was up? I didn't realize he just expected me to come over - his schedule doesn't fit nice and neatly into a little box and doesn't like to commit to times as a result. When I did come over after our heated discussion he was in bed, understandable on some level that he would be upset over me waking him. Had he just talked to me rather than acting as though I did something wrong to begin with I wouldn't have been at his doorstep. Maybe things were going too well and he wants out, nice set up. This is why I don't let people in! I'm a damn fool for allowing myself to even like him.

what an peice of ass. forget him, you are no fool for liking him, he is a fool for missing out on a good thing.

Finally got him on the phone. Don't know where 'we' stand. He said he needs some rest (since I interrupted his sleep last night) and time to think about things. I tried to shoot for making it up to him tomorrow night... he's "not interested". My heart is breaking. Just when everything seemed all perfect too...

Patience: Isn't that supposed to be a virtue... I don't have much of that.

I told him I didn't want him to walk out of my life, that I wanted him in my life, that I didn't want to lose him. He said he wasn't going anywhere but that he was just disappointed. He said me coming over last night when I did was too much drama. No, not going anywhere, when he said he didn't want to see me before (before we were exclusive) he wanted to remain friends, so that's how I take the he isn't going anywhere statement.

He really is a good, descent, hard working man. And he's always upbeat and positive. Smart too. Wants me to better myself. He's attentive and affectionate toward me, and I never had to ask it's always out of the blue. All good things, all things I want in a man. And I want a good man to take care of. He seems to really appreciate my efforts, likes my cooking, thinks I'm funny, admires my love of animals and the fact I volunteer for a rescue, considers me smart, and finds me 'pleasantly sexy' (not sure what that means, but I think a good sexy, not a slutty sexy). It just seems right. It's comfortable. I don't want to lose that.

I did call him this morning to say good morning as if nothing had changed. He didn't answer, but did call me back. That's something, I suppose. We really have been doing great together as of late so I'll just keep my fingers crossed that he focuses on the positives (which by all means out number any negatives).

lol

Yes, he did and I was perfectly accepting of that. But he brought me back into his world with considerable force and wanted us to be exclusive. After doing so, I discontinued drinking so frequently - he doesn't care if I have a couple of drinks, he just doesn't think it is something I should simply do because I had a bad day and rightfully so. That was something I did for not only him, but for us as a couple, which he appreciates and we have talked at length about. He just made the assumption that I was drinking the other night rather than taking it at face value that I was simply hurt, did not find it fair that he placed all the blame on me because I didn't knock on the door given the fact his car wasn't there and that he wouldn't listen to reason on the phone or answer my call after he abruptly ended the conversation. I have every right to be upset. I was all about making dinner for him that night and was completely crushed when it appeared to me that I had been blown off. The pot of coffee I drank earlier that evening probably didn't help my racing thoughts.

In our discussion last night he said he figured I had got drunk and stood him up - that is what was going through his mind I guess. Not that I've ever done that so there is not a history of that even occurring for him to be basing such thoughts on. I thought he blew me off, he asked why I would ever think that as he's never done that to me. So we were basically thinking along the same lines.

I stressed the fact that when I didn't show as he expected he should have called much sooner, not when he was going to bed. He's a smart man, why he thinks that I would take it for granted he was home when the car wasn't there is beyond me. I was calling him practically non-stop because the car wasn't there, I sure as hell would have been on the phone if he was coming to my house and wasn't here on time. First thing I said when he did call that night was "Is everything ok?" regardless of what I was thinking about him blowing me off, that was what was most important to me.

I did just get off the phone with him... no, I didn't call him. I figured I'd let him be. He called me. We didn't discuss it any further.

You're way too smothering .... probably for any man, regardless of sun sign.

Back the fuck up and let the man breathe, for fucks sake .......

Women find themselves in this kind of distress often, and it's their own fault, reallly ... the moment a man gives her an iota of interest in her, she's like a fucking emotional vulture .. seriously, this is why men act like cads, and remain closed-lipped about how they feel.

If you would leave the man the fuck alone and quit emotionally suffocating the fuck out of him .. he would likely find a comfort zone.

I swear .. women, for the most part, have no clue on how to treat a man .. no fucking clue at all.

She thinks he's female, and tries to treat him as such, and then finds herself in this self-inflicted emotional distress ... and not because he did or didn't do something, it's because she erroneously assumes that he is an emotional being like her and the moment he shows a smidgeon of feelings about something .. she pounces.

:::: shakes head :::::

If you don't give a man enough breathing room .... then the only person who has fucked you over is yourself, ladies.

Posted by Loyalist Rebel
Hey P,

This man apparently plays hard to get since the first day. How do you explain that? I mean if he really had an interest, he would have shown that by now doesnt he? Its been quite some time after all, and if there was a slightest interest, then it would have been manifested itself? Right? Or am I missing something?

LR, did I miss your intent? He's been hot & cold, but has shown considerable interest (I'd say given that he wants me to date him exclusively that's indicative of being interested).

As for P, not sure where that came from, doesn't seem applicable under the circumstances given he thought I stood him up not that he thinks I'm smothering him by any means.

Tues Mr. Pisces was all into me and wanted to keep me forever. But, he hasn't let it go... brought last Fri up tonight and he went on how it was my fault. I asked if that meant he didn't want anything to do with me. He said that he didn't know. What gives? Asking him is like running into a brick wall.

LR, you may be right.

I feel so anxious lately, a lot of nervous energy and I think that I'm looking for some stability in him - something to hold onto as everything else in my life feels like its spinning out of control. But, I'm grasping at straws and coming up short. As a result, I feel like I'm loosing my footing just that much more.

He sounds like he is playing mind games with you so he is in control. I'm sorry but readinng this brought me back to my marriage with my Virgo. He sounds JUST like him. I don't see sign issues, this is how he opperates, FROM THE BEGINNING. I understand you are in to him, and it might be because he isn't "easy to get". But hun beware, i would put my check on it, that if you do progress with him, this is what your life is going to be like with him so if you enjoy this, stiick around. If you don't RUN.

What you're going through are red flags. A man that cares.. really.. isn't going to handle situations like this. A man that cares would have been calling if you weren't there on time. at least to find out if your ok. A man that cares, wouldn't make you pay a price like he is making you pay. ALmost like a child, he's grounding you. You deserve to be treated better than that.

This is why i was single for so long. I refused to settle for crap like this. Especially since you guys aren't in a full relationship, or it doesn't seem as such. I don't know, i don't get why you would put up with this from ANY man.

I didn't get from your posts that you are clingy. Maybe a worry wart. Constantly calling someone isn't appropriate either. So i can see him getting sick of it and ignoring you fully.

But either way, ask yourself if you want to live a life like this. Hun they don't change, it only gets worse.

I am taking initiative by being proactive and trying to figure out where this is all going - I even outright asked him if I was wasting my time to no avail. I know, don't ask direct questions (or any questions at that and he won't tell me any lies - thanks Ian, dead on the money again). I'm sure my Gem moon has some play in all of this in any case...

Ya think? But I get mixed messages, and those messages leave me confused and wondering if his heart is really in it.

You stood him up of course he was angry!!! And to make matters worse instead of allowing him to think things through and get over it you were right there in his face!! You should have let him cool down first and give him space...

You seemed to me that night stalkish and desparate, people dont just get over something instantly because of a quick explanantion, given some do but alot of others have to think about it all and process it before they except it. Have you ever been really angry about something and then tried to stop yourself in the midst of it— Not an easy task!

Give the guy some space to sort it all out in his own head and stop bombarding him...if you have got a good relationship, he wont let it go...unless you are coming across as desparate and stalkish...that in itself is a huge turn-off!

"So, in my huffy state I went over to his place, he wouldn't answer the door. So I tapped on his window. Still nothing - despite I could hear him telling his dog to hush. His renter came out for a smoke and I went in. Mr. Pisces asked what the hell I was doing and told me to leave..."

I can get this, he was totally DND (do not disturb) .. pisces don't like to be shocked or witness desperate bahaviour in people they want to/need to trust and count on. It didn't matter to him what you would've said at that moment in time. Respecting a pisces "space" and perhaps the need to save-face or pride in getting his message across first (right or wrong), sounded important to him. Maybe in a couple of days or so, a calm chat over coffee would've been much more acceptable. He really did need time to process everything, including his own emotions.

So, I left my phone in the cup holder in my car inadvertently this evening, normally in my jacket, but I had used it and that is where I typically put it.... guess who calls me 10x in an hours time. *smh* I can't win for losing, can I? Let's see what tomorrow brings. I'm at a complete loss here. And for those of you who think that I'm the bitch for some odd reason, this is a prime example of everything that has been said. He's hot and cold and it leaves me in a major state of confusion. It's a conspiracy. I wanna rip all my hair out. Never can I have anything go right these days.