Hey Hey Hey. Need Quick Advice About A Pisces Male

Hell!

Quick Story: I met a Pisces man who is younger than me. Eight years younger. I know we really do not have a future. One because of the age difference and we also live about four hours away from one another. Im currently working on my PhD and I really do not have the time a for full time relationship. So for now, this is fine. We agreed that when we are together, we are together and when we are apart, we are apart. As long as we remain honest, respectful and considerate of one another. He even asked that I let him know when and If I met someone else and I asked the same. He has been very expressive with his feelings the last few months. Tells me he misses, cares for me, wishes our situation was different and allowed us to be serious, etc.

Well, I had a feeling he was dating a woman I had seen him in pictures with, that were taken before him and I met. He recently posted a picture of him and the girl with a group of people and put hearts and other emoticons as the caption. I dont care that he is dating her. I just don't want to see it. I sent him a text and asked him why he just didnt tell me the truth about his relationship status with this girl, opposed to posting a pic with all these silly emoticons. No response. This was on Tuesday. I realized that the text might have come off aggressive. So, tonight I sent him a text saying that I understand the nature of our relationship, however, I just want to keep things honest and respectful between the two of us. This was about 15 minutes ago. No response yet.

What do you all think is going on here. He is young and this is perhaps what I get for dealing with someone so much younger than myself.

Thoughts?

Opps I did not mean to say "Hell". LOL! That was supposed to be "Hello". Ha!

Why aren't you being honest with yourself - is my question to you?

Posted by deezie
Why aren't you being honest with yourself - is my question to you?

What do you mean?

I mean.... "when we're together, we're together - and when we're apart, we're apart". You claim you are fine with that.
But now you are trying to change the rules. You are jumping to conclusions based on what was it... facebook photos? He very well may be lying to you, or not being upfront. The nature of the relationship you set up - that would be your cue to exit. Not your cue to chase after it and demand the respect you want....?

Bottom line is... you care more than
a) you should, and
b) you are admitting to yourself

Posted by deezie
I mean.... "when we're together, we're together - and when we're apart, we're apart". You claim you are fine with that.
But now you are trying to change the rules. You are jumping to conclusions based on what was it... facebook photos? He very well may be lying to you, or not being upfront. The nature of the relationship you set up - that would be your cue to exit. Not your cue to chase after it and demand the respect you want....?

Bottom line is... you care more than
a) you should, and
b) you are admitting to yourself

I am not changing the rules. I am not asking him to not date anyone else. I just dont want to see it and I surely want him to be honest with me. That is my only request. He asked the same from me. Well, at least in terms of being honest. No one wants to be lied to.

You are right. I do care. I do enjoy talking to him and spending time with him. There are some feelings there, of course. However, I know that it is not realistic for me to try to build a relationship with him. Again, this is fine for the place I am in my life. The last few years (before going back to school) I wanted to get married or be in a committed relationship. I still do want those things. But not right now at this moment. I am enjoying the nature of our relationships because it affords me the time to focus on school. But you are right, I do not like seeing pictures paraded around.

Ok... but... did you ASK who this chick is?
Perhaps she is a close friend of his?
Maybe it's a running joke?
Maybe he's being a lying douche... I don't know.
But how you presented this question - you went straight into accusations at the guy.

I'd say that's why no response the first time around.
And the fact that you pursued it further after that - was ill advised...

Sorry - I'm not attacking you. I'm blunt as something really blunt. lol

Posted by ianthepisces
hey natural.. long time no see..

either you all are a couple or not...

why the "now we are, now we are not"?

trying to stay away from feelings?

not working so well is it?

IAN!!!! Hey you!! Lol. 🙂

I was attempting to stray away from a relationship because of the age difference, the geographical difference and my schedule.

These silly feelings. So, I suppose I need to do some soul searching to see why I DO care about him posting the stupid picture. Lol. Smh.

My reaction probably scared the man away. SMH. Lol. Yikes.

You like him because he gives you every reason to be able to hide from your own feelings. It's all built in.
Now you're conflicted with yourself - by the very thing you walked into with your "eyes open" so to speak.

Posted by deezie
Ok... but... did you ASK who this chick is?
Perhaps she is a close friend of his?
Maybe it's a running joke?
Maybe he's being a lying douche... I don't know.
But how you presented this question - you went straight into accusations at the guy.

I'd say that's why no response the first time around.
And the fact that you pursued it further after that - was ill advised...

Sorry - I'm not attacking you. I'm blunt as something really blunt. lol

No worries. Bluntness is appreciated. Keep it REAL! 🙂

The reason why I assumed it is his girlfriend is because I had seen pics of them before and I asked him about her before. He told me it was a girl he used to date and they no longer date. Hmmm... So, when I saw the same girl in said picture...well... I went off. Lol. I didnt really go off. But I did accuse him of not being truthful.

In the most recent correspondence with him tonight, I was trying to lighten the mood so to speak. Lol. I was trying to communicate to him that I will not rip his head off if we do speak again, but quit the bull. I closed it by telling him that I hope he is doing well and to have a good night. I also assured him that I realize the nature of the relationship, as to communicate to him that I am not expecting him and I to walk down the aisle, if my initial response give him that idea.

I dont know....

So, now what? Lol.

Posted by ianthepisces
yeah, i wouldnt have answered either...

first i would have ignored it for a lack of having an answer... then i wouldnt answer it when i did, because too much time had passed.. then its just too late..

the second text was a bad idea also...

like deezie said.. accusations get you nowhere with this fish... you think youve seen guys run defense on you? you probably have no idea what pisces defense can be like...

i run defense all the time... mostly because of the way i perceive what others are saying to me... *shrugs* its just how it is... its not like i want to be defensive all the time... mostly i just dont like someone breathing down my neck... if people wouldnt set me off, id have no reason to go off... seems simple to me...

I did not accuse him in the last text. I said I didnt want things to be awkward or weird between us. I told him that I like him and enjoy spending time with him yet I acknowledge the nature of the relationship and just want us to be honest with one another.

But ok.... I get it. Maybe that was indirectly continuing to accuse him or put him on the defense.

So now that do I do? I guess nothing. I suppose I have done enough! LOL.

Igh... I think you truly need to just let it lie for right now.
Focus on the things you wish to focus on, and see if he comes around on his own accord.

ian nailed it. You will not hold a fish. Too squiggly and shit. Particularly in the circumstances set up.

For the love of Pete - don't bring this shit up again. The setup is "honesty" - he either provides it or doesn't.
If he doesn't.... fighting him on it - will not get you it. And if it does - you're going to get the answer you don't want anyway - which is why it was withheld in the first place.

You can't request honesty - have an answer that this is a girl he used to date - and then disbelieve the answer.
Honesty between two people requires giving honest answers, and trusting in answers you receive. Once that goes awry, you are essentially fucked. You will question everything from then on out. Miserable existence for something that was supposed to be fun and non-committal.

Posted by ianthepisces
find some shade and chill out..

Lol!! Roger that.

Posted by deezie
Igh... I think you truly need to just let it lie for right now.
Focus on the things you wish to focus on, and see if he comes around on his own accord.

ian nailed it. You will not hold a fish. Too squiggly and shit. Particularly in the circumstances set up.

For the love of Pete - don't bring this shit up again. The setup is "honesty" - he either provides it or doesn't.
If he doesn't.... fighting him on it - will not get you it. And if it does - you're going to get the answer you don't want anyway - which is why it was withheld in the first place.

You can't request honesty - have an answer that this is a girl he used to date - and then disbelieve the answer.
Honesty between two people requires giving honest answers, and trusting in answers you receive. Once that goes awry, you are essentially fucked. You will question everything from then on out. Miserable existence for something that was supposed to be fun and non-committal.

Makes sense. Got it. I will leave this shit alone. Lol. Keep calm and carry on.

At what point, should I assume he is done for good. This is the third day of no contact sinse the god forsaken text. Maybe, its already a wrap?

Posted by ianthepisces
when he says its over..

😄

Makes sense.

I ask because word around town is that Pisces tend to be a little....how do you say...passive aggressive and avoid conflict at all cost. Lol. So maybe a disappearing act would take the place of him coming out and saying, hes done. **Shrugs**.

That's why I asked.

Yea. Hopefully, he does not take that route. Especially, since he knows we will probably see each other again. We have tons of mutual friends and hang out together about once a month.

I guess only time will tell...