Need help with a Pisces man again !

Hi all,

I need some opinions on my situation. Will try to be brief.

I met a Pisces man (Pisces sun and Venus, me Virgo sun/Cancer Venus) online last June when I was abroad for work. Right from the start, he told me that he wasn't over his ex (very nasty breakup a year before), and we talked about that, I tried to give him advice, etc. We met IRL a couple of days after. We clicked instantly, and we met again three times. We had s*x once.
Since the very first day we met, we texted EVERY single day.

After three weeks, I went back home. He promised that we'd meet again soon. Then again, since I left, he texted (not one text but more like text-chats) every single day. He also got used to send me a "good night" text every night.
We kept talking about his ex and he said he was starting to recover and hurting less.
Also, he kept telling me how wonderful, beautiful and sexy I was and all that. After a month I let him understand that I had feelings for him - but completely respected that he didn't want to be in a relationship, which I was not asking.

He said that he wasn't ready for a relationship and that he needed to be alone and that if it was too hard for me he'd understand if we spoke less.
I didn't reply, but he kept texting me. Two days after that, we were text-chatting like we used to, calling each other names, trading pictures, making plans to meet again.
And after a week, AGAIN, he sent me that "I don't want to be in a relationship but I truly care about you a lot" text.

I explained him (again) that I didn't expect anything from him.
So we made plans to meet in my town in 10 days - he was supposed to come for one day but then decided to come for three days.
But two days ago, AGAIN, he sent me that "I need to be single for a while, I'd understand if you want to talk less, I don't want you to suffer, and maybe it's not good for you to be friends with me of you're attracted to me"

So I just said that he was right, and since then didn't text.
Of course, both nights, he sent me a "good night" text, with lame excuses like "oh I saw that movie, it made me think of when I was in high school - how are you ? have a good night, sweet dreams" or, yesterday " I did nothing tonight, it feels great ! By the way, hope you're ok, I saw you got online pretty late (6am) so I was wondering if everything was good for you".
Everytime, I reply to his texts, but I try to be as "cold" and "friendly" as possible.

What do you think ?

I think that's a nice story.





But seriously... don't try to change this into something it isn't. He seems to have given you everything you need to understand this situation at the moment.
1) he's deeply hurt by his last relationship ending, and isn't ready (stated many times)
2) he likes you and told you what he thinks of you
3) he sees you as a friend right now (despite the fact that he's willing to sleep with you, you are also willing to sleep with him without a commitment - so he can't really be blamed for eating the cake that is offered to him - in a primal way of thinking)
4) the timing just isn't right (how did you meet him online? dating site?)

I think as long as you have your feelings in line, you continue to do what you are doing. Don't initiate. Reply in a friendly way. And maybe somewhere along the line pisces guy will become ready - if some other dude doesn't snatch you up first (remain open to this, because there are no guarantees of when/if pisces guy will be ready, or will choose you when he is ready).

Thanks Deezie !
This is what I believe too - what I don't understand is why he is so "clingy". He was the first one to give me petnames, making plans, sending me hundreds of "kisses", texting every day, making moves on me - and now, I feel like he is blaming me for that ?

We live in different countries and I travel a lot for my work (I am a singer), so I thought it was clear for him that I wasn't after the idea of being in a relationship just yet.

We met on a dating website - we signed up the same day, and we only talked with each other so after a week we deleted our accounts.

I'd be careful... I think the very fact that you are long distance, and project this idea that you also aren't ready (which is fine if it really is true - but you must be somewhat attached to be here asking about it) - is what makes it feel safe to him to be all about the pet names, kisses, texting, and moves.

So it is possible that he's displacing some guilt he has about doing those actions, because he feels like you said you were cool with it. And possibly your coolness and distance (a change in behaviour) makes him feel like you weren't being true when you said you were cool that he wasn't ready for a relationship.

I'm totally guessing here...

Also. Let it be known, that I generally have a different viewpoint as a pisces.
Hopefully some other fish will wander in here to give you their take.

Hmmm that makes sense.
I didn't say I was not "ready" for a relationship, I am, it's just that I'm not obsessed about the idea being committed right away - if it happens I'm cool, if it doesn't I'm cool too, because I like to take my time. But I am definitely attached to him, and I guess he is too.

And about distance, we are only 4 hours train away from each other, so it is not SO far - he's the one who suggested he came visit me in my hometown this summer, and he's the one who keeps saying he'd like to come to the city where I live now, to see my place, my friends, etc. Also he made it clear- twice -that he was thinking about moving out of his town because there was not so much to do there...
I mean, what's the point in telling me all this if he just wants to "be friends" ? What's the point in coming to visit me when I am going back to work where he lives in 4 months ? I mean especially as we are texting EVERY day...

This man really confuses me !

Thanks for your insight 😉

Same situation, except that it's not long distance.

Yea, just be there when he needs you and don't be exclusive to him. Date other guys.

Just sounds like he's a little confused and indecisive. I'm sure he wants to move on and is trying his best, and that may be why he's been acting 'clingy' or whatever (not sure the exact logic here, but It's probably correlated. Haha), but it is a process that needs to be completed internally.

I was kind of like this. To my Aquarius. I told him I needed time to be single and that I needed to get over my ex, first. Even with that, he kept talking to me (yes, this did annoy me at the time) and never gave up, and eventually, I was able to look past my ex and give my feelings to him. If he listened to me and actually left me alone, I would have forgotten about the aquarius and would have missed out on having these feelings again. I'm glad he didn't give up.
So, it's really up to you. How much does he mean to you? If he is important to you, don't give up. Everyone is different, though, so he may never come around. But, if you give him his space now, there's also the possibility you'll become less and less important to him. Just my opinion, anyway.

I tend to agree with Scenic - and also... I see this a lot. There seems to be a desire to move forward, but like Scenic said, it hasn't completed itself internally yet, and therefore holds itself up from moving forward until that happens.

Thanks Scenic for your insight !

You're totally right, that's what I was feeling too... Yesterday we talked for 3 hours and he said to me that he's lucky I'm here and that talking to me helps him a lot dealing with his problems.
He's coming to visit me in one week, so we'll see how that goes ! 😄

Gosh, I'm so envious!

Scenic, can you tell me more about the things the Aquarian girl for you?

Charotera, I read your story.
It seems to me that you're way too jealous and full of drama for a Pisces.
If you can't trust him and can't be ok with the idea that his best friends means a lot to him, if you make him choose between you two, be sure he will let you go.

Just out of curiosity, what is your chart ?

Charotera, if you have any questions, feel free to pm me. : )

Posted by Scenic
Charotera, if you have any questions, feel free to pm me. : )

Done!

Posted by Nights22
Runnnn if he is still hung on an ex.

I concur.

Am I the only one who doesn't consider running away an option when I love someone ? 😄

I don't agree with running away just because its too easy. Go after things that are important to you. Running away is for when things are absolutely futile.