HOW TO KNOW IF YOUR EX PISCES STILL LO VE YOU

Hi, im new here, i dated a 44 yr old pisces man for nearly 5 yrs, we never lived together as he had children living with him and i had children living with me but we spent as much time with each other that we could, we never rowed, had great sex and a fantastic relationship in general. Then come this time last year i told him i woulld like to make plans to move our relationship on, as his kids & my kids were going to be moving out, he initially said we would get married in 2017 as thats when his youngest(who lives with her mother) would be all grown up. Then out of the blue in July he finishes it with me "saying he doesnt want to do this anymore", we both cryed together and then next day he took me to an appointment, all the way there and back (a 2 hour roud trip) we cryed our eyes out, he even said, "i feel like im loosing my best friend"!
That night he rang me and said "ive been an idiot, how can i expect to live my life without you", me veing me, the aries (very loving but very direct) said well thats all far well and good but we culd spend another 5 yrs doing this for you to say the same in 5yrs and il be another 5 yrs older so if you are serious then lets get engaged, i dont want a flash ring (as he didnt have any money due to trying to set up a new business in a recession) so i said go to shop and buy a pac of cigars, il have a paper ring!" Well i could almost hear his airway close over, he said "ok youve given me something to think about"

Then later that night he sent me this text-
"I seriously need my head tested, you're the best thing thats happened to me, we get on great we fit together and yet i have some kind of block in my head. Im going to see if i can speak to someone professionally to sort it out, i should never hurt someone i love like this and it's killing me, im so sorry sweetheart you're the last person in the world i should be a prick with xxx I will sort myself out i promise."

I spoke to my friend who is a shrinkand she said commitment phobia stems from separation/trama/loss between 16 -18 month, to cut along story short, his mother wasnt taing good care of him and so his grandparents looked after him from 18 months to 3 yrs till is father returned from working away, his father married and him and his wife bought him up.

Well e decided a month later that there was nothing wrong with him and he wasnt going to bother with seeking professional help and that was the end of that, that was 5 months ago

He has been coming back regularly to finish off work he is doing on my house (his choice) and seems to be dragging it out, we only speak or text to chat about when he is coming to do the work and small pleasantries, the week running up to Christmas i text him saying fancy catching up for a christmas drink he didnt text back until the following night and said he was busy before christmas but how about after christmas, i rang him and he said how about 2nd weekend in January,i agreed and then didnt bother him until today, i rang for a "chat" and he said how about next weekend and tat he would ring me to make plans nearer the time.

Another thing i should add is that i always said when we were together that i dont do second chances, if the relationship breaks down for whatever reason then you dont look back because you are not going that way its always onwards and upwards, but im still in love with him, what do i do?

Posted by harriet0305
Hi, im new here, i dated a 44 yr old pisces man for nearly 5 yrs, we never lived together as he had children living with him and i had children living with me but we spent as much time with each other that we could, we never rowed, had great sex and a fantastic relationship in general. Then come this time last year i told him i would like to make plans to move our relationship on,

Why?

It ceases to amaze me how people don't understand that ultimatums KILL relationships. you were together for 5 years... everything was fine until you decided that you wanted marriage. Why? He was with you and committed to you. Did you ever have a reason to question his commitment? Don't you want someone to marry you because they WANT to? Not because you think it's time...

Seriously, it's a piece of paper. what does it prove?

Here's a funny story..

I swore up and down to my Pisces that I would never get married again. I told EVERYONE I know that I would never get married again.

This summer... my Pisces married me. We don't live together and no one knows. He set it up and I just walked into it... but there was not a single hesitation on my part and I repeated the marriage vows after him like I was born to say them. Only one of the most romantic things he has ever done.

His choice. His terms.

haha... didn't see that one coming did you 🙂

Um, he doesn't want to get married but, you do. You can love anyone but, you can't build a life with everyone. If marriage is important to you then, do not settle for less. You will grow to HATE him if you reconcile the relationship and he still won't marry you.

Thanks everyone, i think i need to wait and see if he rings me back to arrange a night to have a drink and a catch up because surely that would mean he is still interested, he has never stayed in contact with any of his exes (apart from his ex wife and that was only for the sake of the kids.)I have been thinking today about marriage and if thats truly what i want but if its a choice between having him and not having him in my life then there is no competition, i really feel incomplete without him in my life like theres something missing and its him, love the way he makes me smile, by trying to be romantic, making up silly songs and singing them to me. I just hope he rings to make arrangements, i asked him if we could meet up last year but he said it was too soon but now hes saying yes so hes either completely over me and just wanting to be friends or hes thinking along the same lines as me.

Yes shellshocker you hit the nail on the head, uh im sooo stupid, i just hope its not too late! What an amazingly beautiful story, thanks so much for sharing! Thinking back i know what he is like, he doesnt even like surprise birthday parties (i was going to organise one a few years back, just his immediate family) but thankfully i didnt! He is abit of a control freak and so am i, when we drove to London a few years back for a weekend break i had all the route printed off the internet, he wouldnt entertain looking at it and said he knew the way there, after taking several wrong routes we were in hysterics laughing! I think i may immasculate him, me being a go getting Aries! But then he always said he loved me because i had bigger balls than most men!

I posted a letter through his door today, telling him how i feel and apologised for alot of various things, now i just have to wait and see

awesome 🙂

Well he text me back early the next morning saying thankyou for the letter, i didnt get in till late and Sophie (his daughter) had put it on the table, will be in touch next week at some stage to have a chat x

I just text back ok xx

What do you think?

Posted by harriet0305


What do you think?

off to the think tank he goes..

this makes me all warm and gushy. you know him the best.. but if this was me i know the sincerity of my words would be tested (in the future) And my Fish would get back to me in a week.. and a half.. just to make me sweat a bit, haha!

such potential for happiness.. i wish you both the best 🙂

I am just giving him space i really opened up to him like never before, think the letter wouldve come as a shock because being an aries i have totally masked my feelings and made out im fine, so this hold no bars letter wouldnt have read like he expected it to read, will let you know the outcome, thanks so much for your support, it really means alot to me x

Hi, i havent heard anything from him, what do you all think? x

Posted by shellshocker

Here's a funny story..

I swore up and down to my Pisces that I would never get married again. I told EVERYONE I know that I would never get married again.

This summer... my Pisces married me. We don't live together and no one knows. He set it up and I just walked into it... but there was not a single hesitation on my part and I repeated the marriage vows after him like I was born to say them. Only one of the most romantic things he has ever done.

His choice. His terms.

haha... didn't see that one coming did you 🙂

huh?

Is this a story story .... or your story?

And "no" never saw that coming

Harriet .... it's obvious that this guy is struggling between what he wants and what he needs .. that's why he keeps going back and forth.


If you love him, then you need to step away and let him sort his shit out .... if you continue to prod him, then he will eventually jump stream completely.

A person cannot claim to be understanding of anothers need for space and then act clingy ... if they expect to be respected by this other person. You have portrayed to us in here your role of being a cool carefree girlfriend for him, and then not only do you send him a pressuring messaging ... you're still here with baited-breath giving us updates, which insinuates that you're desperate to hear from him.

If you love him, you'd let him go get his shit together .... just as if you needed to go to do it, you'd want the other to let you go. Sometimes, the two people are meant to be but the timing if off.

How will you ever know if you two are going to make it together if you never let him decide whether he wants to come to you or not? If a woman forces a guy to come to her, then how does she ever know whether he's sincere?

Thanks P-Angel, i havent pressured him, i have left him be since the text he sent me in response to the letter i sent him, i do respect him, thats why ive given him space, i just didnt know what to think thats all, thanks for your reply it makes alot of sense x

Thanks 88NNPISCES, yes you are right, you are all right, im trying to just get on with things and not think about the situation with him, difficult though x

Im guessing its the whole men are from mars scenario and he has gone to his cave, i know he will be in contact, he is finishing off my garden for me, it was supposed to be finished last year but he got a hernia and its still mending x

Hi all, well its over, we chatted and flirted today, he said he doesnt want a relationship, doesnt want to think about anyone else just himself, is going on dates but just wants sex nothing else, he told me he still loves me but isnt in love with me, still fancies me and wants to still be friends. He said all his life he has had to conform (being married before and being a father) and doesnt want to conform anymore, just wants to do what he wants to do, doesnt want to answer to anyone. He has only started working again after 3 yrs of not earning, he has lost loads of weight he had gained in that time and seems to be just consentrating on getting his life back on track, so i have to move on and let him be, i tried and im glad i did, he choose to walk away from what we had, thanks everyone for all your support and input x

awww, I so agree with 88. I think you are very brave and mature to say your truth and express feelings you have been carrying for some time. It is nice to see a situation where honesty is returned with honesty. Now you are both free to move forward with your lives without emotional baggage and still have respect for the relationship you once had.

very inspiring... i wish you the best in your future 🙂