I'm sorry Pisces!

Hey everyone I'm a Taurus Male 21 and I've had 2 Female Pisces as an ex and i guess I just wanted to apologize hear for not learning from my mistakes and also to share my experience with you guys. Both girls has been amazing to me, kind, patient and understanding to the teeth never letting me go. But both girl also shared the same trait that they were always reserved, on the edge hiding something (even when they're not) giving me the appearance that they have half a foot out the door ready to leave me any given time. I thought, I could accept that and I thought I could be the perfect guy for you caring and understanding, but because I cared about you, I started becoming obssessed about you, possessive, jealous and insecure. None of your friends were safe from my suspicion, especially that childhood guy friend you've known forever. I don't care how he looks or how harmless he may appear to be, HE'S A THREAT. When we broke up the both of yoj wanted to remain friends with me, but I cut you off. Angry and bitter, I felt remaining friends with you guys would invalidate whatever friendship and love we had, I'd rather have you guys hate me to my gut. I turned on you and said everything I know you didn't want to hear, just so that you would hate me, despise me and move on faster. Little did I know that aside from hurting myself I was twisting the knife deeper into your tender hearts further scarring and breaking it. If I could take it all back I would, I was a knight in shining armor that fixed all your problem, improved your relationship with friends and families, only to get jealous of whatever I helped build. Scared of losing us, scared of losing you. I'm unstable and broken, but at the very least I know enough to applogize. I blocked each one of you and you blocked me back, because I know I would annoy you for the rest of your life, missing you and yearning for us to go back to when we started. Praying and wishing that my loud brain would shut up about the future and be content in the now sitting next to you with the uncertain future but holding each others hand. I truly did love you both and I'm truly sorry I was not mature enough to end the relationship amicably or maintain friendship. I hope one day, our paths may cross again and that we can start all over as friends, because thats truly the only thing I can ever ask for at this point. I hope each one of you find somone that deserves you, loves you and will understand you and won't hurt you. Because I know in the past you've been with guys that sexually abused you, took advantage... I'd like to believe I did more good than harm, reporting the sexual abuser, liberating you of your shackles and teaching you to fight back, even towards me, because I know I am wrong too and you should leave me for someone else. Which, you did and I understand.

Here*

Oh that is a nice apology and very heart felt. I can totally relate.

I think you should write to those girls and let them know how you feel.

I do like to keep my privacy and if I don't have a boundary in place my Bull will try and dominate / take control of my whole life and mind. I need a retreat, a space, a world of my own where I can hide and dream…it is absolutely nothing to worry about and no need for jealousy and insecurity… I am loyal and faithful. But if you hurt me or treat me badly I will withdraw and slowly swim away leaving you confused on purpose.

That was a beautiful apology. Also insightful.

Posted by 88akka
oyyyyyy

I'll get back to you when I have time to separate your block of words into sentences so it's easier to read and understand. Unless you want to do us the favor and do it for us?
It would be very kind of you.

How do you edit posts? HAHA first time here...

Posted by Goldfish
Oh that is a nice apology and very heart felt. I can totally relate.

I think you should write to those girls and let them know how you feel.

I do like to keep my privacy and if I don't have a boundary in place my Bull will try and dominate / take control of my whole life and mind. I need a retreat, a space, a world of my own where I can hide and dream…it is absolutely nothing to worry about and no need for jealousy and insecurity… I am loyal and faithful. But if you hurt me or treat me badly I will withdraw and slowly swim away leaving you confused on purpose.

The thing is they didn't leave me confused at all. I was just impatient, if at first they found my observation skill on point and thoughtful, anticipating their every need, later down the relationship they found it inaccurate and judgemental at best. I know it isn't the characteristic of Pisces women, but I just wished they were honest with me from the very beginning, because having to slowly find out the truth from them pushes your Taurean away.

My last ex especially had a very troubled past and having to ask her time and time again and having her change her story and adding more details on it took a toll on my trust. I began to doubt her, get scared of her cheating on me, get paranoid and just saw her as weak and someone that other guys can take advantage. I feared for her, afraid that some guy could corner her and bully her into submission, repeating the past somewhat.

I think some Pisces women are too delicate and tender for their own good and it makes the guys worry about them and how they would fare in life. Its a personal opinion of mine, but I think Pisces Woman and Taurus Man are a beautiful match; But instead of retreating when the Bull tries to dominate/ take control, try hitting him on the head, then hold his head close to yours and stare at him, and then tell him you're the only guy I want/ need. Shut up, stop panicking with your useless insecurities and let me chill on my own, I love you and for the love of God I'm not going anywhere! < That will calm any Taurus guy down, because our deepest fears are actually you guys leaving and nothing else. We put up with a lot and we'll do anything to succeed and have you succeed with us. But our insecure and often sick/twisted minds just gets the better of us. (That's why we're always so dark and mysterious, I think).

Posted by iamapiggy

Posted by MidasDelima
Both girls has been amazing to me, kind, patient and understanding to the teeth never letting me go. But both girl also shared the same trait that they were always reserved, on the edge hiding.

yeah, but were they 45 yr old kmart employees?

click to expand

HAHAHA, I think if they were I wouldn't be posting this post and got over them pretty quickly. Nahh, they were very attractive at least to me and in their 20s.

Zodiac in degrees 0.0 Placidus Orb:0
Sun Taurus 14.57 Ascendant Aquarius 7.17
Moon Pisces 20.14 II Pisces 6.32
Mercury Taurus 21.11 III Aries 8.11
Venus Gemini 11.27 IV Taurus 10.02
Mars Aries 16.09 V Gemini 10.05
Jupiter Scorpio 9.06 R VI Cancer 8.37
Saturn Pisces 10.32 VII Leo 7.17
Uranus Capricorn 26.20 R VIII Virgo 6.32
Neptune Capricorn 23.20 R IX Libra 8.11
Pluto Scorpio 27.02 R Midheaven Scorpio 10.02
Lilith Taurus 3.06 XI Sagittarius 10.05
Asc node Scorpio 23.55 XII Capricorn 8.37

Posted by PV&Jellay
I agree, beautiful apology. Unfortunately, not directed at the right women.

Midas you should go here:

http://astro.cafeastrology.com/cgi-bin/astro/natal

You can do your natal chart. It will give us some insight. 🙂

Like that?

Okay now that you got that out of your system, stop beating yourself up!

Everyone makes mistakes in relationships. It doesn't always mean you ruined a potential relationship, it could just be that you weren't compatible and it ended before you really got a chance to see that.

I am 22 and coming from the female perspective, this is very common with young guys and their first relationships. My best friend and I actually call it "first girlfriend syndrome". Guys get terrified they will never find a relationship as good as this again and don't want to lose the girl. He freaks out and becomes jealous, all of those actions scare the girl away.

Now you get to go out into the world and figure out that you can find other relationships just as good or even better. Actually you shouldn't really compare them. Just enjoy the experiences, live in the moment and stop worrying so much about the future. All of it will give you confidence in the person you are with if you ever settle down. But don't focus on settling down or finding the perfect person. You will not know the answer to that until you have known them for a long time.

You should learn from this experience but don't dwell on these mistakes too much. Maybe try another sign than pisces though lol. Go into your next relationships with an open mind. It's really surprising how different you will be with different partners. They bring out different versions of yourself... good and bad. You'll see!

@AriesinPain Yes! I posted that long letter/ rant as a way to give closure to myself and hope that my ex would stumble upon it/ reads it, which is probably highly unlikely. Anyway, I'm now trying to focus more on my self, school and work as well. Hoping that as I up my game, new horizons could be open and also bring in new people into my life. I'm young and I have time on my side. I don't know where I'm going to end up in 4-5 years from now or how many heartbreaks I will have to go through before finally settling down.

Life and love is fickle that way, its a game where you inevitably leave chaos and destruction behind you. No matter how clean a break up is, you're still hurting someone. That guilt can either consume you or help you grow, for a while post-breakup I felt guilty, responsible and angry/ worried she would leave the comfort of my protection to go out in to the big bad world. But, I realised that I can't do shit if when she ever meets me again, I'm still the man she left. I'm going to take this time to grow, to learn and hopefully to fall in love again with someone new.

So its been 4-5 months since I last posted this and so much things has happened since then. I've gotten a new girlfriend and finally had the courage to look back at my past and pick up all the pieces and review what I did wrong. I realise now that, the raging bull is a double edge sword and one that inevitably not only hurts the person I love the most, but ends up hurting myself too. I don't know if anyone will read it or reply, especially Pisces woman since its such an old post but, I just wanted to say just keep being you. I realised that its easy to nitpick on the fights, the bad parts of the relationship and argue over the little things, but what takes a good relationship to grow is the realisation that despite everything, the relationship will continue to grow stronger. Pisces women aren't childish, aren't pushovers and they are amazing sensitive and delicate people that as Taurus males we must lead and guide. When we falter, we cannot lean on them too much because we will inevitably push them over the edge and force them to be something they're not, I realised that as a Taurus we really need to just be the man we were meant to be. To fight the urge to brood over the little things, to be emotional, to want to be babied, to want to be spoiled, and instead to shake it all of and put our horns and head high. To use our stubbornness for what we are famous for and that is to work hard, to focus on whats ahead and trust that the women we date will stand by our side, instead of constantly worrying about them, doubting them and doting over them. I realised that a Man is most attractive when he focuses on what is at hand and that is the future, believe in yourself and believe in your woman. That was a valuable lesson that took me 3 failed relationships to realise... That they were never out to get me, hurt me or betray me, but they were simply loving me in their own unique way. So a shoutout to all Taurus man on this forum, stop second-guessing yourself, stop thinking and burdening your head with useless things and instead use that big head and huge shoulders of yours to support your woman and have faith that in turn she will support you too. Because if she doesn't you will get hurt, but you will move on... Sorry it took me this long to realise this, sorry that I'm so emotionally broken that I failed to see all of this. I hope that as I continue to grow older, I will be able to break free from the shackles that my emotionally abusive cancer mother put me through and learn to not only love my self, but see the love that others has provided me with. Because I deserve to be loved, I am loved and that doubting the love of those who loves me the same way my mother did, will only cause pain, angst, bitterness and resentment. Please forgive me world, for all the things I've done till today and I'm thankful you at least have given me some ounce of self control as to not hurt those that you've placed in my life excessively.

Holy Shit !!!!!

Dude ..... tone the sappiness down. There probably isn't a woman out there, in any sign, that would be tickled over the kind of emotional smothering you seem to be proud of doing.

Yeahh, that post wasn't my best moment guys sorry!

I've been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder following 5 irresponsible car crashes all of which were to inanimate objects and not to other people, one in the toll road too damn and also self harm... Sooooo, I realise its not an astrological thing as much as it is a psychological thing...

Getting help and therapy now, thanks for everything DXP!

Posted by P-Angel

Holy Shit !!!!!

Dude ..... tone the sappiness down. There probably isn't a woman out there, in any sign, that would be tickled over the kind of emotional smothering you seem to be proud of doing.

I'm currently dating an Aries woman who is actually very supportive and tries her best to understand my episode of breakdowns! Hehehe so I'm glad for that!

Dear Taurus,

First, you are the first man to apologize to a Piscean woman and you are the better man in my eyes! Now, tell your Piscean that you are sorry. We love to hear that coming from your heart. Heck! Send her flowers with an apology card. Add in there that you don't want to lose a good friend. Let them determine who they want to add on their "friendship list". If she doesn't respond; then that is your answer.

Love,

Eva

PS: I wish my Saggy man would apologize to me, but when donkeys fly, he will!

Posted by Nemilicious
"Because I deserve to be loved, I am loved and that doubting the love of those who loves me the same way my mother did, will only cause pain, angst, bitterness and resentment. Please forgive me world, for all the things I've done till today and I'm thankful you at least have given me some ounce of self control as to not hurt those that you've placed in my life excessively."

entitlement issues lmao.

who set up this golden rule about being deserving of love?

love in itself is totally overrated -

i can´t deal with this forum today ....

Nemilicious,

He's being HUMBLE. Go to Walmart...they sell them 10 for $ 1.00.

Hang in there Taurus! And again, thank you for apologizing to your Piscean exes as a form of THERAPY! It's just like if you wrote to them, and burned it in an ashtray or buried it. I love your humble heart!

Love,

Eva

PS: Glad to hear you involved in a relationship as we speak and that you've learned from your past experiences. No matter the zodiac sign, you'll always remember that the are women. And yes, we women deserve to be loved and we as Pisceans don't like it when our SO is jealous.

Love,

Eva

click!

omg, not her again !!!!!


I guess that click was suppose to be some sort punishment to you, Nem, for keeping it real. Meanwhile, we all know that she either:

1. never blocked you and is this lame
2. blocked you, but, watching to see if someone posts (like me right now) and then logs off to come read what you wrote

Posted by Nemilicious

Posted by EvatheDiva
click!

you could learn a lot - but choose ignorance instead.

if you read this thread - i mean truly READ and understood it - you would see the OP is full of shit.

self-pity - there is no true reflection to be found here.

but people (especially woman of your type) they gulp down this sort of bait in buckets.

click to expand

Why would you call me full of shit, when you don't even know me? If you truly READ it and UNDERSTOOD my post, you'll realise that I get it I made mistakes and had to hurt innocent people on the road to growing up, but everyone is guilty of that. It's easy for you to dismiss other people's point of view behind your keyboard and anonymous profile, but I've dealt with my punishment (not dating anyone after breaking up with the first for over 3 years and taking the time to grow up) and with the second one making peace with myself and her (because she was equally wrong). I'm now in a pretty good relationship, where its pretty stable and I'm getting treatment for my BPD, so please please don't call out on me before hearing the full story.

FYI the first and second pisces girl cheated on me and I pretty much blamed my self for not being good enough for her, did you know that? The first one didn't resist her classmate making out with her and the second one went on a date with another guy when I was busy with work... We were both wrong, but were also very young and these things happens, I'm just sharing it with people on the DXP forum to help other Taurus Man and Pisces Woman learn more about FAILED relationships and why it FAILED.

Posted by scorpx3
OP, hopefully you grew and everything continues to be brighter for you in your future.

Thank you! I wrote this a few months back where I really felt like I was at the lowest point of my life with two failed relationships, I really didn't know what was wrong with me at the time. Thankfully, my current GF really pulled me out of the slump and gave me some tough loving/ slap in the face/ reality check when I started to fall back into depression, when I really didn't need to and nothing was wrong with me or my life to be depressed about! Thank you so much for the blessing kind stranger 😄

Posted by EvatheDiva
PS: Glad to hear you involved in a relationship as we speak and that you've learned from your past experiences. No matter the zodiac sign, you'll always remember that the are women. And yes, we women deserve to be loved and we as Pisceans don't like it when our SO is jealous.

Love,

Eva

Yes, I have to agree with you, I guess youth is really wasted on the young. We take our first and second times and mess it up really really bad due to a lack of experience, selfishness and other myriad of possibilities. But I guess thats what makes love what it is for some, love is something that is really messy, really painful and really confusing, before it gets to mature and bloom and become really understanding, sweet and patient. I'm not saying I'm there yet, but I am trying my best to set aside my ego and pride when it comes to love now... I was raised in a not so good home with really violent domestic abuse (thankfully I never hurt anyone I've dated), but it made me have zero confidence, made me emotionally abusive and demanding, made me in a lot of ways too fucked up for either a 17 yo or 21 yo girl to handle, understand or comprehend at the time, but I am thankful that they gave me a time of their life to date me and help me get through my life one day at a time (I have been caught harming my self). Despite all of that though, I am a fully functioning adult with a stable job!