Insensitive Sexual Gestures.

Hey Ya'll,
My classes haven't started yet and I'm still posting. I do have an issue on hand, you guys. It's about my Sagittarian friend, Jesse. I love him dearly, but sometimes I just want to jack him up by his shirt collar and smack him silly. He's a real sweethear, but the sexual gestures frustrates me because I'm really sensitive when it comes to things of that nature.A few posts ago, I told you all about how I went into the walk-in cooler to get a box of honey mustard sauce and he was in the walk-in cooler then said to me, "I could really use some assistance in fluffing the cheeses." Some of you all said that he was flirting, but I remained oblivious to it.The other day, my manager asked me to make one of those cinnamon pies. So I went to grab the scooper with the red handle. Being a kind as he always is, Jesse grabbed it for me, but I observed that the scooper had a stain on it, so I said, "That ones dirty." So, he gestured the scooper to his package and slightly girated his pelvis looking at me, then said, "Now it is." I looked at him in dis-belief, then motioned for a small plastic spatula, so he grabbed that for me, then he playfully gestured with the spatula like as if he was giving it a huge lick with his tongue without touching it.I snatched it from him then said, "EW." Yesterday, he was coming from the back with the cinnamon scooper, then he looked at me then gestured it to his crotch again. WHAT THE HELL?!!! HE KNOWS THAT I'M GAY AND THAT I'M HIGHLY SENSITIVE! WE TALK ON THE PHONE OUTSIDE OF WORK WITH AWESOME CONVERSATIONS AND HE LISTENS TO ME VENT ABOUT THINGS IN MY LIFE! HE KNOWS THAT I LOVE HIM DEARLY AS A FRIEND AND THAT I DONT WANT MY SEXUALITY TO EVER BE AN ISSUE IN OUR FRIENDSHIP! (Sigh) I just don't know what I'm going to do with him. In one of our phone conversations, I spoke of using the college financial aid to where the GI Bill money will be for my personal use to get my own place away from my neighborhood. He was like, "You're still going to be here in the Charleston area aren't you?" The concern was pretty endearing, but after a while I'm going to seek that out of a potental boyfriend. It's frustrating.

DE .. yeah, I remember before about the walk-in cooler episode. You were concerned then whether your female co-worker was on to something with her words, along with the fluffing-cheese thing.

Damn .. it's ironic because us Pisces were talking just the other day about how we pick up on things, but, ignore them because we just don't want them to be true. But, now, this just cannot be ignored .. I know you love him as a friend, but, a person can't get any more obvious than that.

That's really sad .. I know it hurts your feelings. Perhaps, going away for school will make him realize how good of a friend you really are to him and so he'll gain a new perspective. I'll be hoping so for you.

Sorry that he's upset you like this.

P-Angel,
I just really don't get it. He does those sexual gestures towards me, then later on with other co-workers he'll talk about females that he thinks are hot. I don't know if he's trying to test me or what, but honestly, I really don't want to have to worry about anything that's related to my sexuality within a friendship.My friends Chrisie (Sag) and Stephanie (Scorpio) both think that he may have deeper feelings for me more than I may realize. It's frustrating because with him being a guy, I'm just being disciplined enough not to act on my sexuality with him, but it's like he's subtley inviting it. You're right though, when I start school, I'm not going to be around alot and I'm wondering what new perspective he's going to get from that. I just hate it when folks just play games with my sexuality.

Have you voiced this with him?
Tell him your concerns.

Or write him a letter or note, if things don't improve, if it makes it easier...'sorry to hear; he should respect and be more sensitive to your feelings..

Hey Ya'll,
You know something? This whole thing is just confusing, but I'm going to try to just relax so that haze of confusion could go away. Besides, I'm starting to wonder if he's the same way and that it's the underlying similarity that's drawn him into a friendship with in the firstplace. The sexual gestures? Well, he did tell me once that it's true that he's perverted, but I never thought how so. At the time I just thought it was irrelevent. Currently, I'm just thinking that if it turns out that he does have deeper feelings towards me, then you know what? I'm not going to observe it as something negative. I'm just going to embrace the fact that someone who is close to being my best friend wants me as a lover too, but as of right now, we're just friends. I even told him that I consider him as a possible "best friend", but I've never had a best friend before. Jesse definitely treats me well. He's sensitive, honest, thoughtful and kind hearted. With all of these thoughts on my mind, I was so embarrassed for thinking it that I avoided him at work yesterday completely. He noticed and made attepmts to speak to me, but I was just totally elusive and yet I hated it. I hope it doesn't do any harm to our friendship because for once I want a friend to stick around in my life and not get lost in the past like how all the others have.He has treated me so well and has been sensitive towards me in a way noone has ever been. Last Christmas, when he showed up at my job at the BP and brought me a Christmas card? I was surprised but over joyed because noone has ever done that for me. What did I do? I held back my emotions and didn't give Jesse a hug when I really wanted to. He stood there right in front of my register and leaned in slightly, but I choked. (God) I need to pull myself together and just act at the moment.

DE, it sounds like you have feelings for him, more than just friendship, as well.
I know you're just talking out loud in here, trying to figure out what everything means and so I'm not really giving any insight, for you are capable of figuring this out.
From an outsider, looking in, going by everything you have said about Jesse and how you feel about him .. it sounds like you're just a little frightened. Being a Pisces, I know exactly how you feel ..
Maybe having a heart-to-heart talk with him about feelings might give you a better direction on how you think you should proceed.

P-Angel,
I am terrified.(Point Blank.)

"the underlying similarity that's drawn him into a friendship with in the firstplace"

Maybe .. maybe this is the exact reason that the two of you were drawn together. And, this isn't just "any" guy, either .. this is someone to whom you are friends, enjoy each other's company, have laughs together, have respect for .. as for an intimate kind of partnership, this doesn't sound like a bad relationship.

The question is, DE .. do you feel for him romantically? That matters.

ARE you attracted to him sexually? It's obvious that he is to you .. what about you?

I'm not asking that for an answer, for it's none of my business .. I'm just asking that question for you to ask yourself.

P-Angel,
It's just rather tricky, because when I told him of my orientation, I went to him as if he was a heterosexual friend and drew a line for myself not to cross. It's not a bad relationship at all, but I just don't want him to lead me onto false conclusions. (You get me?) Yesterday, I wrote him a letter about the gestures and how it's messing with my head. I even stated that it upsets me because he knows of my orientation but he persist to do gestures of a sexual nature. I mailed it yesterday and I believe he should get it tommorrow or maybe today. As for me? How do I feel? The main thing about him that caught my attention was his kindness. He was always so thoughtful, gentle, and sensitive in taking the time to ask me how am I feeling. It wasn't just a one-time thing. He was very consistent about it and as it kept on going, I began to notice and appreciate it. When his birthday was coming up last year in December, I went and got him a small gift of a Christmas ornament of a snowman whose was warmly embracing a skunk. The skunk was placing his carrot nose back into place. They were unlikely friends. It was en-titled "Snow Buddies".I also sent candy with it. Jesse called me to thank me, but when I went into work later that day, he surprised me when he showed up at my job to bring me a Christmas card. I'll never forget that moment. I was at loss for words, but he stood there infront of my register just looking me in the eyes. He's always making eye contact with me. That time, his eyes were different. They were slighly watery.

i think he may have a little thing for you DE... it's okay to ask.

Hey Ya'll,
Jesse got my letter and he said that he was only joking. He never meant for it to be so closely read into and that he does that sort of humor with everyone in the workplace. Regardless of how he meant or didn't mean it, it's still insensitive and careless. I told him not to do that anymore, and so he's not going to do it anymore.