Is this normal behavior for all of you?..Lengthy..

I have 2 good friends; Sag and Pisces. I am a Cancer with an Aquarius moon.

We are all good friends.

[Not sure what board this goes in.]

After three years of a smooth ride. My Pisces friend and my relationship went down hill in one week. After being blocked,called a shitty friend, and then getting cussed out.

(Out of the blue for me. No idea she felt this way.)

For her she broke down and cried to me saying she was not use to someone, anyone showing interest in her. Apparently she has been hurt alot in her past. Shes been waiting around for me to do the same.

So when I got to close to her. She swam away. [Her own words]



I distant myself because she said some really ruthless stuff. I was hurt, and have been blocked by her twice since then...Im too distant apparently when I've said to her multiple times.. "I need time".

She unblocked me three days ago.

With that being said she found closeness in my Sag friend. So much so that our conversations grew very scarce.

This week we've spoken the most. I was at work with an opening so I video called her. We were laughing and talking normally.

For a split second. Literally less than a mintue. My coworker showed me something on her timeline and we both laughed. Pisces hung up. I texted asking where did she go? Why'd you hang up? Ive got fifteen mintues.

"I'm letting you guys have your moment."her exact words.

(The fuck..) I should point out that during her silence she went over to hang out with my Sag friend and her family.

So we get into and odd argument. I'm telling her no one could replace her friendship. (One word answers to everything I say.) "Okay." "Mhm." "Sure."

What she is not saying to me is what she is saying to Sag

Things like;

"I don't like the fact that she is trying to create another friendship"

"I don't give a fuck what China does she's grown."

My Sag friend said in the midst of our silence she had googled Possessiveness Vs Jealousy.



Sunday night I visit Sag friend and family . Pisces friend came by (Knew she was coming by.. didnt know when.) Pisces is all dressed up and wearing wedges. Not the norm for her shes into messy buns and sweats.

She was just randomly dressed up. [Her words.] I say to her you look pretty and don't bother looking her in the eye I'm irriated by her, but still cordial. She leaves to go up stairs to get on the computer where she stays for the next 3hours.

She comes back down three 3hours later and says shes about to go and leaves.

Now she scarce with my Sag friend, and has been talking to me a lot. Till 2am.

[I work nights. I am a night owl.]

I am lost. What is this behavior of hers?

and can I just say we are all adults.

25+ all of us.

[Its not like she can't be direct with me and tell me what's wrong. If there was something.]

Sounds to me like she's manipulating both of you.

Posted by beautifulsoul74
Sounds to me like she's manipulating both of you.

100%

Why do you guys feel that she is being manipulative?

They just are. When I wanted to move on from my ex, she would text me and say the following

1. "You leaving means my ex has won"

2. "You just wanna be with another girl so fast"

3. "I dreamt that you were screwing around and I was right (I told her I did not)"

4. "I gave you an avenue to make things work between us and you didn't wanna take it"

5. "You hurt me so much and you leaving me always shows you wanna win"

Many other variations.

Posted by NemDeux

Posted by ChinaDoll00
Why do you guys feel that she is being manipulative?

click to expand

Sag friend wanted to know.

Posted by ChinaDoll00
Why do you guys feel that she is being manipulative?

For several reasons that's obvious. The push/pull, hot/cold, smiling in your face but talks about you behind your back. Then there is the controlling behavior. What do I mean by that? Her keeping you up at night is not out of love, but to control you.

It's manipulation 101. The tactic and goal is to keep you in a constant state of confusion and simultaneously drain your energy so you don't have the strength to figure it out and leave. By confusing you, it keeps you around by you sitting there constantly thinking about it and that drains you. Then she tries to pit you and the Sag against each other...and the Sag sees it a Mike away hence why she tells you what she says.

You have to get past what once way and see her for who she is right now. The past is gone. What matters is the present. You need to let her go and get her out of your life.

I think what beautifulsoul74 said above is probably right. I've been reading up about manipulation tactics (after having issues with my Cancerian landlord - separate post) and this form of manipulation is common and called triangulation - the pitting of two people against each other by covertly influencing their opinion of each other/talking behing their backs. It's currently happening to me in my situation and it feels very covert and underhanded.

Sadly, despite being completely illogical, it seems that many adults engage in this behaviour. It is very frustrating to deal with. Not sure what to advise: just keep your own head above water, keep the lines of honest communication open with the Sag and work on rising above it and having a healthy relationship with her. I hope she can see through Miss Fishy, if you don't resort to the same tactics back.

If she's being sweet now after being salty (mmm popcorn) then set boundaries with her and ask her to explain her behaviour.