Libra girl falling fo Pisces boy

Hello out there I have a questions for all Pisces. I have been dating a Pisces man for a couple of months now and at first he seemed like my absolute perfect match. He's romantic and funny and knows what I'm thinking and he seems to love my way of thinking(ima libra so my mind goes 100mph) and he gets a kick out of it to listening to me analyze and figure things out,but anywhoo more about what's going on. We went to high school together and there was some light flirting but nothing serious. Fast forward a couple yrs later and we reunite online. We start talking every once in a while then it progress to on the phone. For three months we talked nonstop then poof he disappears.a month later we start back talking on the regular n he was staying in another state for majority of us talking but the phone calls started coming less and less since whe it was time for him to come back home but when he came back home we hung out and eventually had sex(omg!! The most amazing experience I ever had!!!!) And I barely heard from him for a week I would call or text and ask was it just a sex thing and he would say no that he really likes me and would hurt me like that but then I wouldn't hear from him again for days and I'm like WTH . A part of me thinks he's not interested and and its just a sex fling but he assures me it isn't but if he was really interested in being more wouldn't he call me more often and try to hang out more. And as much as I try to hide my hurt when he does finally reach out I'm dry and saracstio and he has pointed out that he thinks I've changed and I'm not the bubbly sweet person when we first started talking..but I am but as a libra when we feel hurt our mood can change just as quick as a cancers. So I'm wondering if I should move on or be patient and stick it out with him

"And I barely heard from him for a week I would call or text and ask was it just a sex thing and he would say no that he really likes me and would hurt me like that but then I wouldn't hear from him again for days and I'm like WTH . A part of me thinks he's not interested and and its just a sex fling but he assures me it isn't but if he was really interested in being more wouldn't he call me more often and try to hang out more."


You had sex with him and then he disappeared. He insists it is not a sex thing but he doesn't call or treat you as somebody he is in a relationship with.
I don't know, Fish hate to hurt others, maybe he is saying this cos he doesn't want to hurt your feeligns. Right now, ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS, check what he DOES for you, not what he says. When we want somebody we want to be with that person often, and we will make it clear we are interested. Wait a bit, if he goes on with this attitude you will know it was just a fling.
Maybe ask him what he really wants—
Unfortunately this happens all the time.

Thanks he's so wishy washy we will talk on a regular and then he poofs disappears. Drives me nuts!!! But how should I approach him with out making things worse or at least get the truth out of him because this convo has come up kinda and he I like u and we could really be good together and we will hang out then poof he's gone again

So I asked him what did he really want out we were doing and this was his response...."Idk right now.. I wouldn't turn down any kind of relationship with you. Your an amazing person." Now before I get to over thinking what he meant I'm going to hear wht u think he was saying see if I'm correct.

He is obviously immature . He doesnt know himself what he wants.
He doesnt want to lose you but he wont commit either.
He obviously likes you but at this moment this is what he can offer...not much maybe,d epending on what you need.
He means, u are nice but Im not sure.

We fish have the irritating habit of wanting everybody to fall in love with us, even though we dont.

And u know something he has said that he wanted me to be sprung and I'm like I can't do that and fall in love if I feel ur not willing to go there either ..lol funny for a Libra to say huh? We love love.

Libras are nice, my Dad is one and he is the sweetest person on earth.
Get yourself a real man, you deserve one 🙂

Posted by LibraSweetie88
For three months we talked nonstop then poof he disappears.

Sounds like you have it in your mind that he has disappeared because he slept with you ... when in fact, he had been disappearing. Above he did it before you ever slept with him .. so, you have to logically assume that this is a part of his nature, and nothing to do with sleeeping together.

Posted by LibraSweetie88
And I barely heard from him for a week I would call or text and ask was it just a sex thing and he would say no that he really likes me and would hurt me like that but then I wouldn't hear from him again for days and I'm like WTH

After sleeping together, you do hear from him .. you said "barely" and he answered you and told you he likes you .... so in reality, he didn't disappear after sex, because of the sex ... it becomes apparant that it is in his nature to not be all up in your shit.

He takes space to be alone from you, while still liking you .... and this is typical Piscean behaviour.

Posted by LibraSweetie88
but if he was really interested in being more wouldn't he call me more often and try to hang out more.

No, he wouldn't ... just because two people are hitting it off doesn't mean they have to be up in each others faces 24/7 .. in fact, a Piscean would become quickly disillusioned if a partner smothered them like that, or the partner expected the Fish to.

You have an expectation of how you think he should be, and now have become upset because he doesn't follow the idea you have in your head of how he is suppose to behave. Because in reality, according to what you wrote, he is telling you he likes you, even after sex. I only read the opening post, but, in that you never said that he stopped hanging out with you, you said he isn't doing it as much as you think he should, as you expect a person should who is interested in you.

Posted by LibraSweetie88
I'm dry and saracstio and he has pointed out that he thinks I've changed and I'm not the bubbly sweet person when we first started talking

click to expand

Because your feelings are hurt because he isn't living up to your expectation, you have changed your attitude towards him, and ad

*** it cut me off, to continue ...


him, and admit that you are dry and sarcastic when talking to him. Now that you have changed because he hasn't changed ... he will likely swim away soon.


Notice: he always takes space, so he hasn't changed ... your atttitude has changed towards him because he doesn't perform according to what you expect of him.


He might stick around a little while longer to see if you're going to go back to the person he was drawn to .... but, if you stay bitter, he'll swim.

Simple solution .... get it out of your mind that he's suppose to be all over you.

He isn't a girl.


You are female, which means, feelings control you .... feelings dont' control him because he's male, which means, he isn't going to be thinking of only you 24/7 like do him.


Grow up, back off, and let a relationship form naturally ... if you think you cannnot handle your mind, then go find something to do with your mind other than focusing on mentally smothering your feelings over him .. because the only place that will lead you is to feeling rejected/neglected.

There is no problem here .... it's all in your mind.

@ P-Angel he went from calling me everyday to maybe once or twice a week. That to me signals lost of interest I don't try to smother him because I don't like to be smother but it would be nice to talk to him more because I have feelings for him. I keep getting mixed feelings from him. So idk whether to just wait and let him make all the moves and go his pace. I just feel its someone who he is more focused on now.

You missed my point, I'll try again.


According to what you wrote, he has established a pattern of on/off with his efforts in being with you ... so, he has not changed.

You now have feelings for him on a different level because you slept with him, and so now YOU have changed how you are recieving him, and then responding according to how you have changed.


"P-Angel he went from calling me everyday to maybe once or twice a week. That to me signals lost of interest" ........ he did this BEFORE you slept with him also. You weren't thinking loss of interest before sex .. why now?

Because YOU have changed how YOU feel .. while he remains the same.

It's not rocket science, dude.

The thing is what I said before .... he's not a girl.


You are, so once you sleep with a guy, you think everything about the relatinship from that point forward is suppose to have an emotional connotation .. because you are female, you think every move he makes, every breath he takes is suppose to involve his feelings for you .... why?

Because you do that.


You are female, so every thing you do, every move you make, every breath you take involves your feelings for him ...... because you're a girl.


He is male.


He is NOT going to change his behaviour, he's not going to change how many times he calls you or texts you, he's not going to alter anythign about his life .... based on how you feel.

Period

Mark my words here ... if you continue to be sarcastic and dry with him .. he will swim away from you because YOU have changed, while he hasn't.

"I just feel its someone who he is more focused on now."



JesusFuckingChrist .. how old are you? Am I dealing with a high-schooler?


See, that is my point exactly.

You think that he's suppose to be all emotional and up in your face about how he feels about you .. and if he doesn't then it must surely mean he isn't into you.


When in reality .... he was back and forth BEFORE you fucked him.

What part of that ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ sentence, don't you comprehend?

"I just feel its someone who he is more focused on now."



There is no 'now' .. a 'now' indicates that you think the situation has changed, because how you feel about how you are recieving him has changed.


There is no 'now', as we are referring his focus on you as it being any different from how he focused on you then.


He would be all about you and then disappear on your ass .... BEFORE - THEN


So, "now" is no different. Just as your quote above clearly states, you think that "now" his focus should be different.


Why?

Because you are female, and so once you fuck a guy YOUR FEELINGS CHANGE - and you change how you recieve him.


do you get it? If not, I can't help you ... you're on your own.

Ok I get it now thank u for the bluntness it is highly respected...and while I felt a deeper connection to him after we had sex I had some strong feelings for him before I "fucked" him. I just will back up and stop allowing my feelings to take control and just give him his space and go back to my sweet libra self instead of the mean girl I have been lately. Is there anything else I need to know about the Pisces male.

Posted by LibraSweetie88
Ok I get it now thank u for the bluntness it is highly respected...and while I felt a deeper connection to him after we had sex I had some strong feelings for him before I "fucked" him. I just will back up and stop allowing my feelings to take control and just give him his space and go back to my sweet libra self instead of the mean girl I have been lately. Is there anything else I need to know about the Pisces male.

Of course you were developing feelings before you had sex.. most women don't have sex unless she feels something for the man. But P's right - he didn't change. He had on/off behavior before the sex, even disappearing for a month. But having sex shifted YOUR feelings (sex hormones are designed by nature to BOND a woman to a man!) and suddenly, you really noticed how on/off and wishy washy he was.. it started mattering more to you. If you'd never had sex, if YOUR feelings hadn't grown afterwards (like they tend to - nature and science, honey), if YOUR perception hadn't shifted to the point you were feeling worried and insecure and looking for some reassurance that he wasn't going to "hump and dump"... well.. if you two were still just going slow, no sex, talking/hanging out once in awhile, seeing where this goes.. then right now, you'd still feel okay. Maybe not GREAT.. we ladies don't LIKE a guy blowing hot and cold.. it's confusing and frustrating. But you wouldn't be sitting here thinking that him not changing his established (semi-casual, back and forth) patterns with you meant he used you for sex, you'd just think he still liked you, and liked spending time with you, but wasn't "there" yet. You'd still be the "Cool Girl" and not all wrapped up in what he is and isn't doing, and blaming him for YOUR feelings.

You slept together TOO SOON.. and that's got nothing to do with actual time.. 1st date or 50th, personal choice and idgaf. But if the act of having sex CHANGES your view, turns you into a worried, insecure, omg-did-he-use-me? girl.. it was too soon FOR YOU. It's changed how you see him, changed how you FEEL, how you ACT, how you REACT to him doing what he's always done. It happens to a lot of women. And THAT drives a lot of men away after sex.. even men who WEREN'T using a girl for sex, even good guys.

Yes, PLEASE stop the mean girl stuff... PLEASE understand that YOU CHANGED... HE did not change what he's always done. And yes, Pisces need periods of solitude, to pull away once in awhile. MEN need to do it once in awhile. Heck, as a Libra, YOU need it once in awhile... if he was chasing you down, all up in your grill 24/7.. you'd freak out. You'd feel smothered and stalked, and wouldn't like it. relax a little, slow it down. Your feelings jumped ahead of his in the Relationship Timeline.. and that's NOT his fault.

I understand that you'd like a little more attention, esp now that you've slept together. But "mean girl" won't get it.. acting like HE'S responsible for YOUR emotional state is not going to work. Get back to the sweet Libra girl.. he didn't drop off the face of the earth after the sex, no "hump and dump"... but you're pushing him away unknowingly by expecting him to change just cuz you did.

I agree with the comments here, though some unnecessary bluntness. Anyway, Pisces people need solitude and independence , it is true that after you developed feelings for him you were waiting for a change, but you can't control that.
Anwyay I don't agree with somebody's comment that you slept with him too soon, you did what you felt, I sleep with a guy when I feel like it, don't regret anything you do. It just came out this way.
be yourself, don't use any tactics, we Fish can see thru that crap, we read people like open books. Be yourself,and let things flow, don't force anything, in any case you can't really force or make him feel whatever he is not feeling.
Give it a bit of time to see how it develops.
good luck

PiscesArgie.. no one was overly harsh with her here (P-Angel was ESPECIALLY nice, for P-Angel!), but some of us don't bother with the sugar-coating.

And please re-read what I said.. I don't personally CARE when a woman chooses to have sex.. whether she wants it the 1st date or the 50th.. her choice, her right, and I'm NOT JUDGING her for it. But LibraSweetie DID sleep with him TOO SOON FOR HER.. THIS TIME.. it was too soon, it backfired, it tripped her up and changed how she acts/reacts to this Pisces guy... they aren't in a relationship, they aren't committed, and that was FINE with her.. UNTIL THE SEX. Everything was FINE with her, with taking it slow and getting to know him.. UNTIL THE SEX. UNTIL SHE suddenly started feeling even more for him, and got WAY ahead of him.. NOW these things are bothering her, but these things aren't NEW.. she's just looking at them in a different way because HER FEELINGS CHANGED. NOW she wants him to act like a loving boyfriend, to give her MORE attention, to make her not FEEL used after the sex. She wants him to act DIFFERENTLY than he always did, he was ALWAYS in and out, hot and cold.

SHE CHANGED after the sex, NOT HIM.. ergo.. she had sex with this man TOO SOON for her personally, too soon for the still-casual situation, and put a lot of secret expectations on him, and his regular behavior suddenly started bothering her, and started making her act all out of sorts. It's pushing him away, it's killing his attraction. If she wants to save this, she needs to stop making HIM responsible for HER emotions. She can do this, she can get back to that awesome Libra chick he was first drawn to.

Thanks for the awesome advice @ nefer I think u completely hit it on the nose. I really didn't have my attention focused mainly on him until I slept with him. But dealing with this Pisces is a differnet ball park I'm playing in. I'm so used to guys showering me with attention or at least calling me or trying to communticate on a regular basis. I know the mean girl pouting that works on other signs doesn't on him and I really like him. Sex isn't even a main issue I just didn't want to be used and think we both were on the same page and we aren't even in the same chapter. And I feel like we could be good together he gets me even when I don't get me and I get misunderstood often. He's a great guys and I don't want to make him swim away so should I just back up and let him lead as far as communicating on his time wait for his call....but on the other hand doesn't a Pisces need to know that u want them and care and if I shut down and just go back to being friends won't that make him wonder if I wasn't true in the first place

And the next time we are around each other and sex comes up hw do I gently let him knw that we aren't ready to have sex on my part to protect my self from more heartbreak

I'm glad you got what I'm saying.. and I don't actually see any MAJOR problems for you two so far.. esp since a Pisces won't judge you on how fast/slow you had sex! 🙂

But NO do NOT shut down, bad move.. just let it flow, loosen your grip... he's still talking to you, still likes you. He DIDN'T change and blow you off totally. Cold bitches get nothing from a Pisces. Stay warm, open, and receptive when you talk - THAT lets him know you care, he doesn't need you to chase him down and beat him over the head with it (scary! lol).. he's still the same guy you fell for.. there's got to be some really great things about him. ENJOY your talks/time together. Let it flow.

As for how you're FEELING about the sex.. when it comes up, HONESTY and COMMUNICATION is the key:

"Mr. Pisces.. I really really like you and love spending time with you and would like to keep seeing you. The sex was amazing, but I've realized that I didn't feel quite as ready as I thought I was, and I behaved in ways I don't like. I can't do FWB or casual sex, lack of commitment twists me up and makes me feel awful inside. But I don't want to put pressure on you or us, and you're perfectly entitled to take all the time you need to decide what you want. But I feel better taking it slow for now, leaving sex out of it, and letting things develop naturally. What do you think?"

^^^That will open the lines of communication to have a REAL talk about what chapter and page you're both on, and what you both want or see for your relationship together.

@Nefer u are effing awesome its like ur sitting in my shoes or viewing what's going on thru my eyes. Thamk u and I will try that he wants to see me new car so maybe ill bring it up next time I'm alone with him. I will update on what happens....thanks everyone