Need some honest to goodness advice.

Okay. My Pisces and I really hit it off when me met over a year ago, so much that we sorta moved in together prematurely. I am his first real relationship that has been in close proximity. He has spent most relationships in long distant type deals. We get a long great but he is not super sexual. He compensates by being ultra cuddly and sweet. He said that his last relationships were the same. He is not aggressive and awfully rigid. You have to make a plan to have sex. I feel this is because he is super stressed out all the time where he lets his worries get the best of him. He most often only has sex when he is relaxed. Anyway, the past month or two, He's been going through what seems a quarterlife crisis. He's going back to school and blowing money on things like a motorcycle and vacations. He hasn't said I love you yet, and I dropped the bomb first. I think it freaked him out and he's backed off a bit. But I feel that he does ACT like a guy that loves me.. until i recently said it to him. I just don't understand how you can live with somebody, go to bed with them every night and not feel love or express that? He didn't really contact me during his week vacation and I respected that. He's home now, and just found news he got laid off at his job. My question is - this Pisces is under muchomucho stress and is about to POP. I'm unsure how to handle him, or if I should at all. Our lease is up in May and he's up in there air what's going to happen next. What can I expect in a pisces? How do i best treat a stressed out pisces who is confused in love, got laid off and is going through a quarterlife crisis— Will he eventually meet my needs through sex, love, commitment and all that jazz? I feel as though I've been accomodating him more then he has to me. He won't express or assure he loves me and it's been over a year, but he doesn't want to end it when I tell him I really don't want to waste my time with someone that can't 100% love me in the moment. Commitment phobe at it's finest. He seems ultra confused.

Okay so this is scattered. There's a lot of shit to take in. WHAT DO I DO IF MY BOYFRIEN😱

* Doesn't save I love you
* Gets laid off
*Doesn't have sex a lot
* Is Afraid of commitment

And how do you give someone the space they need living with them?!?


Help,

Super Confused.

Posted by Ariescorpisces
Okay. My Pisces and I really hit it off when me met over a year ago, so much that we sorta moved in together prematurely. I am his first real relationship that has been in close proximity.

you sound kinda selfish. i mean, i skimmed what you wrote, i get that you're frustrated...but all you seem to be doing is piling pressure on him. ^^^remember? this is a first for him. he's out of his depth. knowing the issues he had, you chose to go ahead and rush into a relationship with him. did you think those issues would disappear overnight?

Posted by Ariescorpisces
I really don't want to waste my time with someone that can't 100% love me in the moment.

click to expand

that is seriously selfish, and to be honest you're not a good match for a pisces. it's all about you, what you're putting in and what you expect to get out of it. if you really loved him, you'd be okay to put him first when he needed that from you. loving someone '100% in the moment' means being in a good place in your life. he isn't, you've said so several times.
maybe he doesn't feel like he has your support, so withdraws from you. pisces are very sensitive to people's motives. we often 'read' what's going on, even if we don't outwardly show it. and we can be in alot of inner turmoil without necessarily showing it, too.

Posted by Ariescorpisces
We get a long great but he is not super sexual. He compensates by being ultra cuddly and sweet. He said that his last relationships were the same. He is not aggressive and awfully rigid. You have to make a plan to have sex. I feel this is because he is super stressed out all the time where he lets his worries get the best of him.

- this Pisces is under muchomucho stress and is about to POP.


And how do you give someone the space they need living with them?!?

i dunno, to me it just sounds like you're too demanding. maybe you like the 'challenge' of him being a committment-phobe and you want to win him over. this just doesn't read like you genuinely care about him. you're complaining about issues that were in place when you first knew him. now he's been laid off. for most men, their careers are a massive part of their identity. so him losing his is super stressful. not to mention the financial factor, how's he going to make ends meet, etc.

you need to get with someone who has all that going on and can still put you on your princess pedestal.

Pisces men are complicated as fuck, ive seen that they just pile up their probs, you
Need to move out. He odviously doesnt completly love you. He just feels like
Ur his comfort after a long day andyou seem to want more.

Trust me, if u arent a cancer you cant make that happen. Sawwy.
Find urself a fun and going guy & ull see how better ur life will be. 🙂)
Maybe leo?

This is a mess. How do you sorta move in with someone prematurely? If you know he's not very sexual but compensates with cuddles, why is his not being sexual an issue? He went on vacation without you and while he was there hardly contacted you. You drop the "L" bomb and all you hear from him is crickets. Then you ask how can he live with you, go to bed with you every night and not feel or express love? Because he doesnt love you-plain and simple. The lease is up soon but he has no plan of action for the future that includes you. Oh I'm sure he's stressed and on top of that you seem to be lurking around like dead weight.

nah, just had another read, agree with myself even more

*dances* 😄

one word: p r e s s u r e

people react differently to it. with him being jobless, he probably feels like a bit of a bum and less of a man, so yeah...he's not in the best place to give you what you want right now.

it's not all about you, if you can put your ego on the backburner you might work this through.

trust me, i've had an aries boyf before. it's a commuincation thing. you guys push and push for what you want from us-a pisces in a tight spot will only withdraw or become distant/defensive. if you care for him, talk to him. let him know you'll be there, tell him what you need from him and be prepared to work at it

also what blue ribbons said. esp:

Posted by blueribbons


He doesnt initiate sex a lot, or have interest in it because he's stressed? ouch. BUT many men are like this, so don't take it personally. stress can significantly diminish a persons sex drive. He's stressed so he may be in a state of needing more comfort than the sex part.

he probably had issues with sex in the past...time for some digging. this is not a face value situation. either he has hang ups about being intimate, or his sex drive is way off

i could elaborate, but i've blabbed enough

Posted by Ariescorpisces

... he is not super sexual ...

Most Pisces people aren't ... when we are emotionally connected to a person, we tend to hold them alot, and comfort them with gentle strokes and caresses.

People tend to USE sex as a tool to measure whether they are loved or not .. and Pisces tend to not USE sex at all. If it feels right, and enough physical pampering has taken place for stimulation, then the Fish might feel like moving onto to the act of love making.

You're not going to find him having sex, ever .... as you've presented it here, which was with no emotion whatsoever, rather an act that supposed to show love. Ain't happening .. Fish don't work that way.

Instead, with a Pisces you will get a man who wants to hold you, and cuddle you ... because he will fully understand that to love a woman, means to connect with her emotionally and to hold a woman, and strok her hair, makes her feel emotionally connected on the physical plane.

Posted by Ariescorpisces

He hasn't said I love you yet, and I dropped the bomb first. I think it freaked him out and he's backed off a bit. But I feel that he does ACT like a guy that loves me.. until i recently said it to him. I just don't understand how you can live with somebody, go to bed with them every night and not feel love or express that?

click to expand

What the hell are you talking about?

ARe you suggesting that sex is the expressin of love?

You should hook up with a Virgo then ... seriously .. because a Pisces is too emotionally driven than you are .. you obviously just want to get dicked in order to feel special. A Virgo will gladly oblige and keep telling you he loves you so long as you keep taking his cock into one of your holes.

This Pisces man cuddles you and holds you .. and then you come in here and say just bullshit that he is not feeling love?

I can't read anymore ..... you are the one unfeeling, so you deserve nothing from me .. you're lucky I don't rip you a new asshole for being such an unloving whore.

My chart

Zodiac in degrees 0.00 Placidus Orb:0
Sun Aries 27.00 Ascendant Scorpio 17.16
Moon Pisces 22.42 II Sagittarius 17.06
Mercury Aries 6.44 III Capricorn 21.36
Venus Aries 7.17 R IV Aquarius 27.43
Mars Taurus 23.30 V Pisces 29.54
Jupiter Aquarius 13.26 VI Aries 26.02
Saturn Scorpio 26.50 R VII Taurus 17.16
Uranus Sagittarius 17.43 R VIII Gemini 17.06
Neptune Capricorn 3.35 R IX Cancer 21.36
Pluto Scorpio 3.32 R Midheaven Leo 27.43
Lilith Aries 24.51 XI Virgo 29.54
Asc node Taurus 18.24 XII Libra 26.02


His:
Zodiac in degrees 0.00 Placidus Orb:0
Sun Pisces 12.30 Ascendant Taurus 25.27
Moon Aries 28.16 II Gemini 20.49
Mercury Pisces 4.34 R III Cancer 11.37
Venus Aquarius 0.21 IV Leo 3.07
Mars Taurus 7.35 V Leo 29.54
Jupiter Aries 0.13 VI Libra 7.52
Saturn Sagittarius 20.32 VII Scorpio 25.27
Uranus Sagittarius 26.22 VIII Sagittarius 20.49
Neptune Capricorn 7.38 IX Capricorn 11.37
Pluto Scorpio 9.51 R Midheaven Aquarius 3.07
Lilith Cancer 11.13 XI Aquarius 29.54
Asc node Aries 11.52 XII Aries 7.52

Analyze Please..
Also, I don't think I'm THAT selfish considering I wrote this whole shpiel to best seek advice to best accomodate his needs (and my own, so shoot me)in times of uncertainty and problems- but I am frustrated because I feel he was not accomodating mine ( previous the loss of his job). I am not pressing him AT ALL not given the situation and allowing tons of space when I can. I have given him multiple leads to jobs to apply for but also am being sensitive to his pride. Obviously, if I was only about sex I wouldn't be with him- and I try to not put pressure on the situation, but still voice my own needs as well. Honestly though, sex is a spiritual bonding for me, not just pleasure and I need it in a relationship.hell, once every 2 weeks would be enough for me! Being assertive and letting someone know what you need from them and just only giving a shit about yourself are two different things. I don't regret dropping the love bomb because I sincerely do love him- whether he says it back or not. It would be nice to have it reciprocated, but I also do not press it. I come in this forum to state my issues- but it wouldn't be the same way i'd approach him because i'm sensitive to what's going on in his life. So if I'm a bit blunt it's because I CAN be here.

Anyhoo, I do appreciate all the opinions good and bad either way. Got me thinkin about some things 🙂 I still have to read up more I just got back from working with a buncha kiddos and my brains are fried. hehhee.

right, let's try that again.

you-venus in aries

him-venus in aquarius

yeah, there's your problem. nah i joke, i joke...kind of.


Venus in Aries is the most impulsive of all the Venus signs, leaping straight into relationships. These people are usually attracted to those who have a strong sense of self and who's nature is as deeply passionate as their own. Although capable of deep loyalty, Venus in Aries has a need for independence in relationships and they have to balance this out with sharing and cooperation. When Venus is placed in a fire sign, it often shows dramatic, exciting and fiery expressions of love. This person won't sit around deliberating about love, and they can be rash in their affections.

Those with Venus in Aries are drawn to those who have an aura of independence about them. The individual is not willing to compromise much, and can sometimes find arguing and conflict highly stimulating. Venus here likes to make love and war, and they don't like to be controlled in a relationship. Venus in Aries will love who they want, when they want, and how they want. Always on the look out for new challenges, and new experiences they love the chase in romance, and love has to happen quickly. When in a relationship he/she needs to know that they are number one and will not be thought of as second best.

Venus in Aries values independence, freedom, assertiveness, and there is a childlike spontaneous quality to love. In love they hate to feel tied down by responsibilities and they are very idealistic and always seeking new opportunities for self-discovery through personal relationships. Venus here is usually a trendsetter and likes to try new style s and fashions before anyone else. Venus in Aries has a tendency to fall in love at first sight, and likes to take the initiative in love. Those with Venus in the speedy sign of Aries usually know whether they like someone or not right away. However, Venus in this sign enjoys the chase, but loses interest easily if there is no real challenge.

Those with Venus placed here feel excited when they arouse the passions of others, but tends to place their own romantic needs first. This person likes to make the first move, but also likes others to be just as confident and self-assured in love relationships.

Venus in Aquarius seeks relationships which provide friendship, shared ideals, and common political views. Venus here has definite principles about relationships, and a deep sense of integrity makes any sort of betrayal unforgivable. Strong ethics give Venus in Aquarius loyalty, tolerance and a willingness to accept major differences within a partnership. Aquarius has strong beliefs about equality and fair play, and they believe in openness and honesty, and cannot tolerate any form of underhand behaviour. Aquarius is unprejudiced and race, religion, culture, land of origin, social status, doesn't matter, and this sign mixes with everyone. In relationships there is little regard for social status and peer pressure. There is usually a marked affection for friends, and commonly friends become lovers and lovers turn into friends.

Those with Venus here have eclectic tastes, from the antique, unique and futuristic; anything beautiful and unusual in clothing, lovers and friendships is desirable. The preference is usually for someone intelligent, ingenious, friendly, social and quirky. Modern and innovative pieces of art are attractive, computer graphics, electronic music and unorthodox artwork appeal to them. A good example of this artistic temperament is Yoko Ono; she has Venus in Aquarius in the 5th house. The artistic vision may take the form of group collaborations, which benefit humanity.

The person with Venus in Aquarius has a horror of being possessed, and relationships tend to be cool and distant. They feel uncomfortable dealing with intense emotions and are appalled by displays of jealousy in others. It is difficult for them to accept their own darker emotions, so they simply cut off. Venus here insists on lots of space and independence in relationships. The person values progressiveness and their sympathies are usually expressed in broad humanitarian terms; rather than in a personal way. All Air signs need room to breathe and circulate, but a Venusian Aquarian is particularly fond of freedom and hates to feel restricted in a partnership. Restrictions placed on love, imply conditions. When Venus is placed in this social sign, excitement and creative stimulation is craved, and all expression is in the pursuit of some kind of —social cause??.

by julie rimmer at http://theastrologyplace.blogspot.com/

^^ well blah on that.

I do like some passion!

Well he does show through action that he needs me there to cuddle and he does it right back. When I try to allow space he comes to me and is super affectionate. However, when I allow too much he is distant. I feel like I'm walking some tight rope between leading the relationship and backing away. I can't explain it. I feel hes on the edge of diving in sometimes and others I feel he's running away. I feel what he has been going through recently is a quarter life crisis, and perhaps he is a bit young. I am 2 years older then him and his first real relationship. He told me he has never said I love you to anyone -- when I attempted to get out of the relationship due to my needs not being met he said he did not want to break up. He seems ultra confused. and I am too. Just trying to deal with it the best way possible.

Also the sex started that way- so it's not like there was any "decrease" or change.

Posted by blueribbons
I feel like when we tell you criticism you have some way to argue why it's not so. I mean you stated the facts, your frustration and after we bring up valid points - you rationalize them out.. so what was the point in saying anything to begin with? the point is I feel like you don't want to shed light on the actual problems, you'd rather push them in a dark corner.

uh-huh. she's dismissive too.

Atleast their respective sun-moons go together... That's goodfr something, right?