Older Virgo (F) - Younger Pisces (M)

Last fall I met online a young Pisces 21y/o (now 22) and he wanted to come see me (for sex I think) at my house. Not knowing him I told him I don't invite strangers to my house the first meeting (for the most part). I had doubts due to his age and dismissed him as a boy toy since I was looking for something real. I kept him as an e-friend but got into a relationship lasting to Feb 08.

During this time I had stayed offline for a month (MIA) and so young Pisces called me and I didnt answer because I was on the phone with my current bf. Two days later I sent him an IM asking what was up because I noticed he had called, he ignored the IM. So, another time in IM and I told him that I was in a relationship he said he didnt know (this was around January). So, he stopped speaking to me. IM's were with short responses and then no responding. I wasn't trying to hurt him but clearly had struck a nerve.

Then in March we IM'd and he asked me about my bf and I told him we broke up back in February and he seemed to be more responsive. So, I decided to do our compatibility and I shared it with him telling it was the worse I had ever seen (it really was) 8 Neg aspects and 8 Pos but the positives seemed negative lol. Needless to say he stopped speaking to me after that.

The next time I sent an IM he was "mobile" IM and the next day I got a response of "Who is this?" AND a buddy request. He had deleted me from his buddy list. So, I re-added him but didn't ask any questions because I had then realized he had deleted himself from my Myspace too. This was March 21st.

Ysterday I go online and he pops into my IM abnd it's shocking because I am the one to IM first. He wants me to critique some photos he took when he came home from the gym. All shirtless and pecks were yummy and beautiful. Needless to say I was honest, enlightened, intrigued, and lusting. So, I told him that he has lured me back and he tells me to make a move. So, I tell him we should schedule time to meet one day. No response...

Later I send an IM asking what was it he wanted from me back when we first met, he told me he was on a call and would get back to me. He never did. Then I signed off for the night (45mins later). Today I sent him a text message telling him that I was still thinking about him and he replies "Lol". I have no clue what to respond to that.

Advice please, I like him. Thanks! 🙂

You two are playing games .. so, if it's confusing, then to get clarity, you first have to stop playing head-games.

You contact him, then push him away .. and visa versa


What you are asking us is to give you the next move in a game of emotional manipulation and one won't come from me.

And playing is exactly what is happening .... you'll gain his interest by contacting him .. only to tell him you have a boyfriend, or you're not astrologically compatible .. which pushes him away, only for you to contact him again to reel him back in.

= being a Player of head-games from my perspective, one in which he apparantly is participating in ...

(Re-write from the hidden post to fix my typos and better relay my argument)

Actually, I hate games. I don't see a Pisces liking games either. I think it was definitely emotional but not intentionally game playing. I was fearing he would only be interested in sex and so I did not give him the time but remained friends which was the reason for our initial e-meeting.

When I am in a relationship no other men exists. So, I didn't feel the need to put him first and he wasn't the first to contact me to see where I was (MIA). I did get back to him but I guess it was a day late and a dollar short. So, when I was no longer in my relationship I didnt feel the need to rush to him but I did increase my e-interaction.

I believe my ignoring the call and then confessing I'd been in a relationship pretty much that whole time didn't sit right with him. So, that's what set the stage for whatever it is we have. Unfortunately, I havent been able to redirect things on my own. Having just given up for one whole month he comes back with the pictures showing his chest and pecks knowing darn well that I would want him.

I don't want a sexual relationship and I don't know what he wants (wanted) either. I did ask him last night but he evaded the question. I'm open to a full-on relationship but truthfully I am looking for genuine companionship. The weathers breaking and its time to run the streets all day and night doing fun stuff. But, consistently not just once or twice throughout the summer.

Sex will always be a part of my world but I don't want to start something based on sex or lust. I notice that he is home most evenings and weekend nights. I'm sure he would love to get out and about. With that new body he won't have to wait long for takers and I want to put my bid in. But, not through lustful flirting. I see it going in that direction but I want to control myself. So, I am hoping for advice on dating this young Pisces man.

So, now what?

"You two are playing games .. so, if it's confusing, then to get clarity, you first have to stop playing head-games."

If you ask me, they both seem immature and mentally on the same level.

Carnal relationship. Go for it.

"Actually, I hate games. I don't see a Pisces liking games either."

Delusion is a wonderful drug.

Wow, where's the help and advice? 😢

I calls it like I sees it.

Help comes when we're finally ready to take off the blinders, ya know?

I have no clue what games I'm playing. I was friends with him, he wanted to come see me, I declined because I thought he was young and would only want sex. What games...?

So, we continued being friends and I got into a relationship (not a crime) with someone who I thought was more suitable. I gave all attention to my boyfriend. Neglected my onsite profile, friends wondered what happened to me including young Pisces. He called and I was on the phone with my boyfriend so I didn't answer. Two days later I was online and he was and I sent him an IM asking what was up. What games...?

Within days we had a discussion on IM that led me to reveal my current relationship. He told me he was unaware that I was in one, well we weren't that close of friends. What games...?

So, after my relationship ended, I wasn't looking for sex, but I stopped neglecting my friends. At this point he was not feeling me. Either hurt that I gave another man a chance over him, or hurt that I ignored him for the call. What games...?

So, realizing that IM'ing wasn't going anywhere I would only try ever so often to IM him, he asked me about my bf and I told him we had broken up over a month ago. I decided to do our astro-comps discovered it was way harsh, shared it with him, he either thought I was strange or was upset that our comps read that way because he deleted me from his IM and Myspace. He was hurt. What games...?

So, I had IM'd him when he was mobile, he didn't know who I was because I was deleted form his buddy list and he re-added me. I never IM'd him once I realized he had to re-add me. Then a month goes by with no IM'ing. He pops into my IM feeling more confident due to his pictures and because I was never upset with him I remained a true (now more intrigued) friend. What games...?

Because I am interested he asked me to make a move, I suggested we meet, we never have yet. He ignored it. I think he expected me to say come see me tonight. So, I tried to regroup and ask him what he initially wanted from me hoping we could find a basis. He told me he was on the phone and would get back to me. He never did. I think he didn't know how or want to have that conversation. No clue. Games...?

So, today I was thinking about him and text him that I was expecting some conversation. I get "Lol". I am thinking he just doesn't know how to have this conversation. But, I could be wrong. Games...?

I don't see where I played games and I am not purposely being indifferent.

(I need edit everywhere I go lol)

I struggle with believing age really doesn't matter. I believe that if I invite him to my home and sex happens that he will not desire anything else. At least if I ask him if he desires to be a hanging partner for the spring/summer and he declines I will know he just wants sex then I can choose if I want to experience him or not. But, truthfully, I want to know if he has that potential first without ruining it by jumping ahead.

I shared the astro stuff because I told him I would do it. Astrology has become an enormous part of my world since September 2007 and there is no one I feel I can't discuss it with. Friends, family, love interests... Since I told him I would be doing ours I figured it was only fair to share. If someone is doing something on me I want to know. More so, it was so awful that I couldn't resist. I'd never seen my comps with a man have so many Neg aspects and it was just funny in relation to the minor changes he's put me through.

If you want to read it at "love test" we're 8/25/75 and 3/10/86 (ouch at the baby, right).

(Edits) Sorry. 😢

So, today I was thinking about him and text him that I was (STILL THINKING ABOUT HIM. I WAS) expecting some conversation. (BUT,) I get "Lol". I am thinking he just doesn't know how to have this conversation. But, I could be wrong. Games...?

"What games...?" = I don't see them

"Games...?" = Ok, possibly I can see them

If you want me to start talking, you better be prepared to go outside of your comfort zone. Some can deal with it; others feel like they're being shredded.

Otherwise, I'll just stay quiet.

I don't see Miss A as playing games or otherwise being manipulative. I think archer's advice is right on target - invite him over to your place (I'd actually modify that and advocate something more along the lines of coffee or drinks) or delete him and move on.

I've put my lovers up on pedestals and thought they were all that and I wasn't worthy and I'm wondering if you're doing the same thing, Miss A. Remember he's 22 and that you haven't met him yet. The age thing could be a big deal, but it doesn't necessarily have to be. The not having met him yet could be a much larger factor in your decision as to whether or not something would work long term.

"Sex will always be a part of my world but I don't want to start something based on sex or lust. I notice that he is home most evenings and weekend nights."

I've got mixed feelings about this. Fair enough that you want a relationship, but do you really think you'll be able to develop that with a 22-year old who hasn't yet displayed the capacity to pull it together long enough to meet you in person? I'd say keep it sexual for now. See this as a great fling that can keep you both occupied during those evenings and enjoy it for however long it lasts.

[And yes, I recognize that I'm in a minority among the women here when it comes to believing that relationships can evolve from sex. I'm a glass half full kind of gal.]

"Calm down don't take your frustrations out on MsA, she's not asking you to tear her to shreds ..And further more do have to shredd her for her to understand your point. If not then maybe you should keep quiet"

Starfish, stop being a pretentious ass. I've offered my tidbits and offered to stay quiet, so I don't need to you bearing on me.

I have no frustrations to take out on anybody. I offer my perspective which can be harsh for some people. Hence the warning label.

Grrrr, baby.

Grrrr! 🙂

If at all possible, tell him what you are basically saying here to us, or write it in a similar message. I think then he would be better able to see where you're coming from. From his perspective, i think it's a clarity, pride issue. And when a piscean's heart is hooked on something, it can be easy to lose faith if things get too sticky or complicated, or perhaps a feeling of indifference from another, even if only perceived. At this point in his life, his head may be in a different place, at least initially.. At any rate, a cynical, indifferent, non-communicative pisces is not very common. I agree, give him a reality he can count on and look forward to; perhaps invite him over or to some place more public, then play it by-ear.. Clear, decisive, open communication is vital, even if only on your part, for now. At this point, i think it's better to say too much, than too little. (btw, people first always; astrology second. One can never assume.)

Good luck to you..

scorpion_rising, thanks for the offer but I didn't come here to lose faith just to see how I should approach him. So, thanks for the warning label and I'll pass. 🙂

v-lady, thanks for the advice and looking out. 🙂 I have been going through our IM's today and I actually did invite him last year to meet at a club/bar that was in the middle for both of us. He wasn't feeling it as he ignored the suggestion. As for the pedestal, yes it's sorta like that. I do think I am worthy of a relationship I just kind of feel certain guys are not willing to put in the time especially a younger one. As for relationships, I'm not seeking one from him but I am open to it as to not make it seem like at his age he's not on that level. For me, I just want someone to spend time with. After work 1-2 times a week and on a Saturday and/or Sunday after noon/evening. My statement about sex in my relationships is to state that I am not trying to keep from having sex with him or protecting myself by not, but I will just want to see if he is interested in hanging out. Some people don't like agreeing to that early on (understandable) and sometimes people can't remain committed to that but I would like to know at least he is the outgoing type and interested in that stuff. I have a few events that are coming up and more to come where a date would come in handy. If he likes hanging out then it's refreshing to know I have someone when I need him. I too believe that a relationship can evolve from sex as I have had them happen. But, I know from experience that usually the person has to be relationship minded with or without the intentions of being in one. Some men are honest about not wanting a relationship and I have never seen them change their minds on it. Others are open to it and eventually relaxx into the role.


Starfish225 thanks for looking out for me. I understand, you've been there for me in the past and I'm sure you will be there for me in the future. Take the week off lol. 😉

~mystic_fish, you're right he needs to know my intentions. The only way I can probably let him know is to type it up and send it off. I think I hurt him (pride 😢 ) and I didn't realize how I could affect him until I didn't take the call and tried to play catch up on it. That's really why I haven't gotten upset to wash my hands of him because I know when the change took place and why. I just never thought he would care because he has a lot of female friends on his Myspace more suitable for him. But, now that I kind of have a clue I will be more communicative and invite him somewhere that I've thought out and planned. That will show him that I have interest other than sexual. It's up to him to accept if he doesn't I will just leave him as a e-friend. Thanks. 🙂

archer, sadly I only feel lust right now. Before I just wanted to have friendly IM'ing reciprocated so I patiently waited to mend things. I don't want lustful feelings. He has a lot going on for him at his age and I don't want to discount the potential friendship I could get from getting to know him so I don't want to kill it with sex from the start. I see the end if I choose that path and what a waste of time to just "boink and bounce". Wait did I just say that? 😛 His "Lol" to me was a sign of how he may interact with women his age. I don't Lol with men I am involved with so it was a strange response. I was expecting an inquiry into my thoughts or something progressive where he is taking the lead. Am I expecting too much for wanting him (22y/o) to take the lead, maybe? I could call him but I feel like he hasn't given me enough security to know that I am not being pushy with trying to get more from him to feel comfortable enough to call. i'm more open to dating him (age gap) now than I was initially but I think my mind is just set ot FUN now that the weather is breaking and he seems like fun. This is true, I don't owe him sex but I know me, I can be so flirty and free and... sexual? That it would lead to that. I've always had this "seize the happily ever after before reality sets in" thing about new guys. So, I find it's easier to be true to them early on in feeling and emotion than after I have mentally picked them a part later. That fancy free feeling goes away after I've sized a guy up which is truly once I've had him. Then I just am loving based on the r-ship or just lusty based on the agreement. And, you don't sound know it all at all. In life we all take the role of teacher and student. 🙂

MsA: My advice: RUN AS FAST AND AS FAR AS POSSIBLE! PISCES WILL DRIVE YOU INSANE!

virgoheart, your advice is the best at this time. He's extremely immature. His Myspace is filled with women vying for his attention (almost competing with each other indirectly) and apparently he feeds them something to make them feel their important to him. All of them. I can't let myself walk right into something like that. But more than that, communication opened up my eyes to how it couldn't work. He has no respect for me already so it could only go downhill from there.

We IM'd today and he took some initiative towards my forwardness about thinking about him (I said it again) and so he told me that when he was talking like that to me (dirty) that I didnt like it. I said that I always liked him but wasn't comfortable with his age and I tell him it doesn't help that he doesn't respond to my questions about what he wants so I will know where he's coming from. He says he's not looking for a girlfriend and is in no way ready to settle down. I think he aged me by 10yrs with that last comment. 😢 Why he assumes that I want to settle down with him when we haven't met is beyond me but I'm thinking it's what he gets from my giving him attention. I must be desperate for a man. That's one to grow on.

I told him who's talking about settling down and that I just wanted to know whether he was capable of remaining friends once we hit the sheets or is it that he wants to be a phantom of the night. He ignored my question, five minutes later logged out, 10mins later logged in and set his status to Busy. Blatant disrespect and rudeness. I'm fine to walk away now, so I blocked him on IM and will be fine again as usual. Anytime a man can't answer a simple questions, do you just want sex or are you interested in a friendship too, something is not right. He's ready for the physical but not even in the same time zone for the mental. Expecting friendship is too much of a hassle for that man. Oh brother.

Over and out. 🙂

He just texted me. WTF!!!!

The texts went like this"

From Him: Hey
From Me: Hey

And, that's all. Games, indeed.