Pisces & Criticism

If Virgo loves to criticize, as there opposite, Pisces hates to be criticized.

When her husband criticizes her, my Pisces bff will usually break down in a torrent of tears (she has a watery chart). Overtime, her Libra husband would avoid any discussions that involved him having to give her a critique. It took her a while to realize that she was manipulating him. I mean, why should your spouse feel bad for telling you where you're slacking/lacking? Why should their being honest with you result in their feeling at fault?

As a watery-rambull myself, I can't stand criticism. I think I handle it fairly well in the sense that I acknowledge that the critique is right (Taurus), but I think the fish placements make me defensive and when in defense mode, my ram comes out. It really is a trifecta of nuts!

Thing is, I can't quite pinpoint why Pisces doesn't take criticism well. So not only do they have difficulty with critique, they tend to disregard the critique because after it's received, they begin the wackadoodle process of playing victim.

If I can't stand anything about Virgo-Pisces, it's this trait. I think that's because my Taurus-Ram are far more willing to recognize/take the critique.

So Pisces. Why do you do it? Why are you all such assholes in this arena? What is it in you that keeps you from being able to listen to, absorb and adapt to a good honest critique?

actually, i want to correct my virgo-pisces logic.

virgo loves to criticize, pisces is non-judgmental.

both the tards can't stand to be critiqued.

lol😛

I think these threads aren't for us, they're for yourself.

Don't you have a 12th house stellium? You probably possess these qualities, but are completely in denial of them. So what happens is you spot these people who possess *your* flaws ~terminator style ~, and you "attack" them...well, verbally😛 You're probably just indirectly attacking yourself. How Piscean!😄 What we dislike in others is what we dislike in ourselves etc. Like those Bible bashers who go after "sinners" when they have hard drugs and prostitutes in their basement.

It's probably why your threads are always valid, and very insightful - you are living the exact quality you dislike. I find your threads very helpful though, through you I learn about myself. So please tell me why I do this, so I can overcome it thank you😄

Posted by caligula


Thing is, I can't quite pinpoint why Pisces doesn't take criticism well. So not only do they have difficulty with critique, they tend to disregard the critique because after it's received, they begin the wackadoodle process of playing victim.

If I can't stand anything about Virgo-Pisces, it's this trait. I think that's because my Taurus-Ram are far more willing to recognize/take the critique.

So Pisces. Why do you do it? Why are you all such assholes in this arena? What is it in you that keeps you from being able to listen to, absorb and adapt to a good honest critique?

It's like a matter of knowing the truth and not wanting it to be acknowledged so you can stay in a delusion. And like what you said about manipulation-I catch myself making out I'm more hurt than I actually am. It's two things. One, the person's opinion means something to you because they're somebody you care about. You don't want to feel judged, no matter how right they are.

Two, the defensiveness comes out of guarding yourself against being critiqued. So you deflect it back onto the person which is straight up manipulation, which is why Pisces get that self righteous tag sometimes. It's like don't bother to tell me about the shape of my life when yours could use some tweaking.

I really have to watch myself when it comes to hearing the truth now because those bullshit reactions are just instinctive, a knee jerk reaction and it's not productive for me or the people I deal with

Posted by iceredrobot
lol😛

I think these threads aren't for us, they're for yourself.

Don't you have a 12th house stellium? You probably possess these qualities, but are completely in denial of them. So what happens is you spot these people who possess *your* flaws ~terminator style ~, and you "attack" them...well, verbally😛 You're probably just indirectly attacking yourself. How Piscean!😄 What we dislike in others is what we dislike in ourselves etc. Like those Bible bashers who go after "sinners" when they have hard drugs and prostitutes in their basement.

It's probably why your threads are always valid, and very insightful - you are living the exact quality you dislike. I find your threads very helpful though, through you I learn about myself. So please tell me why I do this, so I can overcome it thank you😄

you stupid whore. did you not read the OP?

why are there so many retards in your sign?

Posted by nimbue


It's like a matter of knowing the truth and not wanting it to be acknowledged so you can stay in a delusion. And like what you said about manipulation-I catch myself making out I'm more hurt than I actually am. It's two things. One, the person's opinion means something to you because they're somebody you care about. You don't want to feel judged, no matter how right they are.

Two, the defensiveness comes out of guarding yourself against being critiqued. So you deflect it back onto the person which is straight up manipulation, which is why Pisces get that self righteous tag sometimes. It's like don't bother to tell me about the shape of my life when yours could use some tweaking.

I really have to watch myself when it comes to hearing the truth now because those bullshit reactions are just instinctive, a knee jerk reaction and it's not productive for me or the people I deal with

i think that's a good assessment. thank you.

i used my watery manipulation in my youth...still do as it's me and i can't eradicate all essences of my being. i of course projected this tendency in a different way than what i described in the OP, but at the time, it was just as instinctual as it is with a pisces sun.

thing is, i didn't realize i was doing it and once i realized it, it was like oh shit, there IS a pattern to this and if there's a pattern, i may have had a valid reason for the teary tirade, but maybe i should choose a better time to address my feelings.

i talked to my pisces bff about what she was doing to her husband and it was a light bulb moment. she'd heard it time and time again from the Libra, but given she was in self-protection mode with him, she was unable to actually process what he was saying without turning it back on him in some way.

overall, i think every sign has its vices. i mean, even an immature taurus doesn't recognize how truly stubborn they are...that is until that stubbornness starts to destroy.

and before anyone says it, yes, everyone has issues with critique...it's just that pisces (and virgo) seem to rule this vice.

omg


You ignore everyone else, but reply to me. So I'm RIGHT😛 I'm not attacking you, just pointing out what I see.

Posted by Nights22
Nimbue Lives!

Hi, Nights! How's it going? I swear to god this mars in virgo thing is not letting me breathe. It's like overnight OCD but everything is getting overly sorted so really I shouldn't complain...but god, I feel like I've got an overseer standing over me ready to crack the whip if i put one foot out of place. This is weird shit for a pisces!

Posted by iceredrobot


You ignore everyone else, but reply to me. So I'm RIGHT😛 I'm not attacking you, just pointing out what I see.

—?

yep, retarded.

Posted by caligula



i talked to my pisces bff about what she was doing to her husband and it was a light bulb moment. she'd heard it time and time again from the Libra, but given she was in self-protection mode with him, she was unable to actually process what he was saying without turning it back on him in some way.


yes, everyone has issues with critique...it's just that pisces (and virgo) seem to rule this vice.

Yeah, that deflection thing has the potential to fuck things up it's lethal if the person doesn't get the chance to check themselves. Thinking about it, I don't know much about Virgos and taking critcism but i can imagine they'd see it as a threat to what they consider their best judgement. It also stems from hating to be constrained in anyway; for mutable signs. Because if someone tells you about yourself that means you have something you need to work on, because of somebody else's suggestion...not only that but now someone has pointed it out to you, you're gonna have to take it on board if you don't want a repeat of the same conversation later on down the line, there's that pressure there...confinement.

Posted by caligula
—?

yep, retarded.

You are aware you're expressing the exact qualities you claim Virgo & Pisces possess? I just thought it was funny you were completely oblivious to it, and wanted to point it out lol xD I'm really surprised, I thought you could handle the truth.

ok, this is my last response to you as you're too naive, immature and pointless for me to lessen myself further.

what i find funny and quite humorous is that in your effort to show me something, you've essentially showed your ass. you're doing exactly what i described in the OP.

CONGRATS! you're a dumbass!

what did i say in the OP?

- someone critiques pisces.
- pisces feels the need to turn that critique back on said person.
- pisces doesn't process the critique for validity.
- pisces is thin skinned and refuses to accept faults in themselves when those faults are verbalized by others.


thus, you come on MY thread, you disregard what i have written, you've offered no information of substance and are hell bent on proving that the issue is ME because YOU can't stand criticism.

to find the the depths of stupidity, visit the pisces forum.

anyhoo, thanks for playing!

While I was collecting your tears, I took the liberty of making an icon for you

Posted by nimbue


Yeah, that deflection thing has the potential to fuck things up it's lethal if the person doesn't get the chance to check themselves. Thinking about it, I don't know much about Virgos and taking critcism but i can imagine they'd see it as a threat to what they consider their best judgement. It also stems from hating to be constrained in anyway; for mutable signs. Because if someone tells you about yourself that means you have something you need to work on, because of somebody else's suggestion...not only that but now someone has pointed it out to you, you're gonna have to take it on board if you don't want a repeat of the same conversation later on down the line, there's that pressure there...confinement.

i can see that.

i think pisces are highly adaptable and where some would see this as their lacking a backbone, the ease at which the sign changes is a choice, not malleability.

so i suppose that if someone is critiquing you and therefore asking for change, the more valid the request, the more it would come across as a "must do" rather than an independent choice.



the irony is, it happens a lot on this board. i could name names but if you're a pisces (virgo) sun, i'm talking about you so *the end* yes, there are exceptions and you know who you are (of which each of you will think that you're the exception but i'm digressing).

whenever someone posts a critique thread about pisces/virgo, there's a swarm of defense and an inevitable attack on the OP by your weaker members. overall, i think it's done in good humor, but i believe many of you engage in this behavior in your real lives without even knowing it.

UHMMMMM...wtf does forgiveness have to do with the OP?

you clearly just wanted to talk to me.

why would someone need to forgive you for valid criticisms?

the only way you'd need to seek and he'd need to give forgiveness would be if you're a total bitch and criticizing him over bullshit. if that be the case, that's not what this thread is about.

honest, constructive critique isn't a negative. in fact, it should be embraced, not forgiven.

lol You're so blind. This is a joke, I'm going to bed.

I'm so Mutable, I'm practically clay - I change constantly, everything gets incorporated.. MY time, in MY way. But then again, my inner self is so Fixed that I cannot be forced to.. well, anything.

If I care about you that much, I care about your opinion of me.. but more than that, I value my OWN opinion of me.. And if you're criticizing me, you're saying there is something so very WRONG with me that it needs to be addressed.. that you are moved to tell me this thing you feel needs changed.. not in my own time, or my own way, by my own realization and personal growth... but because YOU think this is something *I* need to change, something you find unacceptable enough to bring up.

So you give me criticism, well-meaning advice, or pointers, or suggestions.. that I never asked for, cuz I can handle my own and been getting along just fine, tyvm.. And then it feels/becomes something you're PUSHING me on.. something you're trying to CONTROL about me.. and I balk and dig in my heels, and the horse starts to buck you off. The stubborn side flares and throws up a defensive wall.. how DARE you point fingers at me, when you're no better?.. If I'm not 'good enough' then fuck you too.. And then I shut down, so you can't hurt me, BECAUSE I care about you.. BECAUSE I don't want to unleash those hurtful words and possibly damage something beyond repair.

If it's something that TRULY needs changed, something that does not serve ME well (NOT something that does not serve YOU well, mind you!).. the seed will be planted and eventually this change will be incorporated. But don't keep bringing it up.. cuz I'll dig that fucker up with a spade just for SPITE. Just cuz you can't FORCE me to do anything.

My God.. as I was finishing typing that, my cell phone rang. It was a co-worker, I figured he had a question. But when I answered, no one there. I said hello again, and I could hear him talking.. I said hello a couple more times and Libra says, "Just hang up." I looked at him.. hung up, and called back to see if he actually butt-dialed me. Turns out he did. We had a good laugh and said goodnight.

I turn back to my post here, and Libra says, "Why do you always DO that?".. I'm like (freeze).. "Do what?" He says, "You'll say hello 27 times. Why don't you just hang up?".. horse starts to rear up, snorting.. eyes narrowing, I say, "I say hello a couple, three times in case they're distracted and didn't realize I'd answered. Then I DO hang up." He said, "You said hello five times right there, baby. You didn't hang up until I told you to."

.. Wall slams up, I can FEEL it happening, literally SECONDS after posting about this.. I turn away from him and start putting my earphones back in, he says, "Don't be hurt! What?!.. hey, wait.. Oh, that's right, just put your headphones back on and don't talk to me. Great." I shrugged and said, "I don't feel up to being picked on tonight. Not having this conversation."

... my headphones are still in, and I'm still not talking to him.. well, it's only been a few minutes. But I don't trust myself to not be a bitch about him criticizing me over such a STUPID thing that ..honestly? What difference does it make to him (or anyone?!) how many times I say hello when I answer the phone?? Stupid thing to point out to me.. and a stupid thing for me to get pissy about... be a shame if it caused an even STUPIDER fight cuz I didn't wait until my raised hackles lowered. :/

Tubby, there is pretty much one definitive answer .. no matter how much the Fish try to dress it up to make it look like something else ... it's still pretty much just this one reason.


Pisces feels misunderstood ... just about all the time, no matter who they are relating with, no matter the circumstances .. the Fish feels like people don't "get" them.


This isn't saying that we are misunderstood by anybody .. only that we feel it to be so. Therefore, all critiques are offensive because how can you possibly critique us when you never even understood us?


You're wrong in the critique ... by virtue of not understanding where the Pisces is coming from in the first place.



That's all there is to it, really

Ha! I was going to say exactly that, P, but decided to read the entire thread before commenting. Lo and behold, you said it first.

Yup.

Posted by Nefer
"Why do you always DO that?"

i should have that framed. i find myself saying that A LOT lately. and i get the same reaction.

i don't think yall realize how unconventional you can be at times. it's not so much that you don't do things "my" way, but you don't do things like normal folk PERIOD and by virtue of that, your odd behavior stands out and begs the question, "why do you always do that?"

i agree that you should be allowed to be as odd as a you wanna be, but it is a bit much at times.

where aquarius is weird on purpose, pisces is weird by nature.

Posted by P-Angel

Pisces feels misunderstood ... just about all the time, no matter who they are relating with, no matter the circumstances .. the Fish feels like people don't "get" them.


This isn't saying that we are misunderstood by anybody .. only that we feel it to be so. Therefore, all critiques are offensive because how can you possibly critique us when you never even understood us?


You're wrong in the critique ... by virtue of not understanding where the Pisces is coming from in the first place.

ok, i have the "why" which is essentially what i asked, but here's the critique...

i believe that pisces believes that they are ALWAYS misunderstood, but the reality is, you're delusion. it's a lie that pisces tells itself to avoid personal responsibility.

in other words, you don't need freud and a couch to know that someone is thin-skinned, obstinate, unreasonable, irrational and manipulative.

in other other words, if pisces repeats a behavior that is negatively impacting the relationship, fuck being misunderstood. fuck YOUR feelings. the pisces' behavior is resulting in negative feelings/discord in the relationship and yet, because pisces feels it owns the emotional trademark, they have the unalienable right to continue said behavior?

by feeling perpetually misunderstood, this sign has the perpetual ability to negate their partners feelings. yes pisces, other people have feelings too!

the irony is, pisces is supposed to FEEL/UNDERSTAND/INTUITIVELY KNOW others. if that's the case, wtf can't you intuit when your pissing someone the fuck off?

*delusional

Posted by Nights22

lol well yeah thats not really constructive criticism. It doesnt mean much. But Also you shouldnt get to cranky about it! Oh leeb and pisces the little things can cause some turmoil sometimes. lol

Pop quiz... if my handle gets cranked over something so minor as that.. how do you think I might react to more serious (hurtful) constructive criticism? -_-

^i think your taurean placements make you quite rational for a fishy.

if i was only so lucky 😛

(he's gonna be pissed at that last comment btw)

Posted by LoveBucket


Pisces, the Fish, however, has no protective coverings the way the other water signs do therefore when you send criticism their way, it's like you're hitting their raw and uncovered nerves.

aint that the f'ing truth. good analysis btw.

i guess what makes it tough for the person doing the critique is that if you care about the person and respect them, you're not trying to tear them apart and yet, that's how it's often received.

so like my bff's libra, you end up learning that it's better to not vocalize a concern. where some concerns may be trivial, what about the ones that are not? in fact, the more crucial the critique is, the more you fear giving it. in the end, does that help or hurt?

ie, say that the pisces is doing something to harm themselves or something that keeps them from achieving/doing something that is important to them. where part of you recognizes that they are adults, they make their own decisions, they don't NEED your help or interference so let 'em be, the other part can't stand idly by and watch someone you care about flounder. i mean seriously, what fish doesn't awaken a level of protection in their partner?

i feel like even the strongest, self-reliant, self-assured and accomplished pisces is always going to have someone who feels the need to protect them...from the world, from themselves...regardless of whether they need or asked for it.

i think sometimes the protection can border on control and how you differentiate the two can often be muddled. i think for the partner, you get into a pattern. you felt the need to protect them here, you felt the need to protect them there...now you feel the need to protect them everywhere...i am so dr seuss right now. you do it too much...or they allow you to do it too much, you begin to resent them.

for the fish, maybe they did need protection...AT THAT GIVEN MOMENT, but if it's constant, they either feed off of you and become dependent or they get sick of ya and seek independence.

i also think that the more you protect them, the less you have to give to yourself.

it's funny because this reminds me of my french buddy and how his 15+ year relationship ended. he literally HATES his ex...loathes her and at first, i thought it was just the normal break-up "i hate you, die a thousand deaths" thing. the more i've gotten to know him, the more i think that he feel into the dependent role. all of his ex's complaints had to do with his lacking in some arena and where he had an equal number of complaints about her, where she said he was lacking, he's still lacking.

*shrugs*

Posted by caligula

it's a lie that pisces tells itself to avoid personal responsibility.

indubitably

Posted by caligula

the pisces' behavior is resulting in negative feelings/discord in the relationship and yet, because pisces feels it owns the emotional trademark, they have the unalienable right to continue said behavior?

click to expand

Absolutely this allows the Pisces to continue such behavior ... where else do you think Pisces is suppose to find justification in becoming the victim?

However, the Pisces general population have no clue about this and would deny any such charges ..... they truly believe that they are the epitomy of gracious harmony, and truly believe that the discord is being done by others, simply because they didn't understand the precious, delicate and senstive Fish.

It's not easy knowing the truth about yourself ..... most people are in denial of themselves anyway

God this is All so so true for me it's the biggest problem my Taurus has with me I've only just become aware of it in the past couple of months so I'm working on it

That's pretty damn bad tha a person won't take critiquing even after being strangled over it ... looks like there's no hope for the Fish, then, if strangling them over it doesn't make them a better person.

I for one LIKE when one criticize me, as long as they bring it in a nice way.

I don't talk about myself to anyone, therefore I know people don't know how I am, so when someone criticize me I'll say something about it, agree with it, comment about it, thank the person, whatever fits the best.


Really, not all pisces are like Stinger's one (I don't like being asphyxiated lol). Yes, you can be emotional, deeply emotional, overly emotional and sensitive, but have some understanding and don't think everyone is evil and only says hurtful things for you.


...now when it comes to ME to criticize someone I have to evaluate if it is worth it or not. Most of the time I just don't do it at all because of the said reasons in this thread.