Pisces Detachment Advice (surprise!)

Hello everyone! Long time, no see. I have no idea how to sort out my thoughts regarding the Pisces in my life, so I'm turning to the one place where I've always gotten consistently good, interesting, thought-provoking feedback.

Abbreviated version of the backstory... Met a Pisces in February 2007. We have sex soon after we meet (three date threshold met in three days) and neither of us expect to see each other again. He lives in the UK. I live in the US. In December 2007 we see each other again. Great sex. Great familiarity and comfort with each other.

From February 2007 to the present, we've been chatting online about 8 hours a week (split into anywhere from one to three separate conversations). Topics range from Sartre to our childhoods to sex to our daily lives.

He has a girlfriend in the UK. He told me this in November 2007, by which time I felt too smitten to simply walk away. Yes - bad, bad, bad v-lady! I know. Please don't make this about the morality of being interested in unavailable men.

We happened to be in the same city for two nights a few weeks ago. We spent one lovely night together and he was ill the next day (something he had drunk the night before). I went and did my thing that day and we planned to get together that evening (our last in the city). I call him in the early evening to coordinate and he says he'll meet me where ever I'd like. I don't know the city that well, so I say why don't I stop by his hotel and then we can figure it out together.

I get to the hotel and he looks exhausted. I've never seen anyone look this tired and, as a matter of fact, it turns out he's slept about 8 hours in the past 60. He says that he can't go out, I say fine, we hang out talking in his room for a few hours and then I go. Of course, when I say goodbye I burst into tears like I always do when I have to say goodbye to him.

So we chat for the first time since that today. There's something very warm and caring about the vibe in our conversation. He's got this way of gently teasing me and is just very, very nice and gentle and nurturing. It's awful, but I don't know a better way to put it.

Here's where I'm stuck and I don't know how to interpret these things...

1) When we were hanging out in his hotel room that last night, I had my head and arms on his chest while he was lying flat on his back. I'm touchy-feely in general, but he never made a move to be physical with me. He didn't resist me touching him, but he never initiated.

[sorry that this is such a marathon post]

2) In the conversation I had with him today, I said something along the lines of "there are a million reasons why I shouldn't, but I really do miss you." He replied by saying he would take that as a compliment. In all honesty, I was just be completely open while recognizing that there are all sorts of factors (distance, his own possible lack of interest, etc.) that come in to play to make my feelings unrealistic.

Now here's where I'm really stuck.

I am very confident that Mr. Pisces genuinely likes me. There is no way in the world that you can log the amount of chat time we have with each other and not genuinely like the person you're chatting with. I also know that there is really no difference in tenor or substance in our conversations when we're chatting or when we're in the same room together. We have an amazingly good vibe with each other and I trust that.

What I can't say for sure is his feelings towards me. Here's the options I've thought out...

Does he have deeper, romantic feelings that he's not able/willing to express because of the barriers we have to a relationship?

Does he genuinely like me only as a friend (that he occasionally sleeps with) and is being diplomatic because he doesn't want to hurt my feelings?

I have no idea. I'm also sure there are some things I haven't even thought of. This isn't any sort of extential crisis and I'm comfortable with the foundations of our friendship. At the same time, he's also the most private, emotionally reserved person I've ever seen in my life.

Any sort of insights the community could provide would be very welcome.

Sorry. I'm not being clear today. I also feel like I'm in high school.

I know he likes me. Does he like me *that* way? Does the fact that he's emotionally distant when I'm super emotional mean that he has romantic feelings towards me? If I'm crying and he's not responding physically, is he trying to be a good friend and not create false hopes?

About 7 or 8 months ago I told him that I cared about him. He said that he cared about me, too. Then I said, "No. I really care about you" and explained to him that I have a crush on him. He was very nice about it and said that was great, but that he didn't feel the same way about me. I think once, briefly, a few months ago, I alluded to the fact that my feelings towards him were unchanged.

So I assume he knows how I feel. I've just got to wonder... is it enough of a compliment and ego-boost to be around someone who adores you that you don't need to feel the same way towards them to enjoy their company?

v-lady !!!!!! Welcome back. 🙂

I thought you ditched this man ages ago?

Right now I can't read through all this, and I'm dying to because I want to find out what happened .. I thought you and him were no-go last year.

Will get back to this when I can.

Thank you all for the comments. I'm really trying to sort out what really is there from what I want there to be and this is a huge help.

bijou... I was reading through what you had written on the "does pisces prepare for a relationship" post and OMG! That kind of half-in/half-out behavior fits the Pisces I know to a T. He hasn't done it to me, but when I met him he was apparently in that sort of situation. It speaks volumes about you and your own strength of character to move past that.

PA... hey hey! This is the Pisces that has been in my life as long as I've been posting here. In fact, I think he's what drove me to seek advice here in the first place. I've always been a huge fan of his. You may be thinking of the craziness of the torrid virgo affair I had last year (my goodness that one hurt).

I guess the thing that I'm trying to double check on is whether or not there's something to hold out hope for. It's perfectly valid for him to regard me as a friend and leave it at that. It's also perfectly valid for him to not want to develop a romantic attachment because of past hurts and logistic problems (and he's got both in spades).

If I'm to answer my own question on what to do... it would probably be that I need to detach a bit and focus on myself and what I need and want in my life right now that doesn't have to do with him. Damn. I hate wanting and needing clarity and having to accept that I'm just not going to get it right now.

no comments: first time on this chat line, Pisces with Sag, I meet him in July08 here it is Oct. Iam his girl friend already. and its all good. but I dont like the fact that we dont go any where but to his home and hang there and the rest u know no I am not his bootie call, an he is very much a good man loveing, careing, fun to chat with, he has told me repeatly that he loves me. Its all good for now i love him he know it and i give him his space to do what he likes and what ever it was he did before we meet. why not? we owe it to each other. dont want to be with him all day and nite hell no. I have a live an have to wk do things on my own as usual do what i use to do go shopping go out have fun. I go see my kids grnad kidz , sister , just have fun in general he calls me not much i call him we talk and its all good, so far. he know how i feel about him , also know that i do not, will not share any part of him with anyone. if he is a real man he will let me know if there is someone else if he want to sleep around let me know i told him already he is aware of it. and as he put it to me ( I will make it short for u your are not shareing me with anyone an if i want some i know where to go) good enought. thats cool. if not then life goes on for me and i too can meet someone else later just like he can i am onest open cautious,and very important Iam myself around him. not trying to be any one else just me. the one he meet on the resort. I do love him he woke up feeling i thought were dead. i can love or like someone like him all over again. so far he make me feel good and energized or am i in love w/him ?

this post caught my eye as i had posted the exact thing (oppositely so-sorta) in the Pisces prepare post as well...

I have had several Pisces in my life- none have been alike, they're all so different that when I meet one I am not sure what to expect other than a really good connection.

I was burnt by a pisces once so bad that I was really a mess, i loved him so...I think i let it slip once. I was never his GF, but we had the best mind chemistry when it came to sex that I was hooked. I gave him all the space he wanted, but started to get insecure about what we were doing...

so the man I met now...I took it slow- but not as slow as I did (^^^ that guy). This one hinted to me about 'what should I call you' are we dating? and so on...I finely conceeded that we should date. Later he would not shut up about some old screw of his that he's friends with and how she is so in love with her new man. oh, she's in love, blah blah blah...well, I took this as a hint from him- again...and several weeks later...I said I love you (seriously it slipped out of my mouth) just as I was hanging up the phone (i was trying to get off the phone). the next day, the end of his email said; (and i was wondering if he caught it) said- love you back...
i just about died. we have never said it face to face...just over the phone and thru email...I dont know what to think about that- but at least he returned my statement and didnt leave me hanging or avoid it...I was thankful for that- way thankful.

I listen to Ms. P. she sounds like she knows what she's talking about here...Bijou2 as well.

IF either of you have a chance to read...if it didnt take my Pisces a long time to talk about BF/GF or hint around as to if we could - is saying I love you to your girlfriends face not necessary? too much? painful to say?? he's been married before, i havent. I miss him so when he is not around and want him near - not like all over me, but even if he is in the same room- i am happy. distance kills me- but I know he needs it.

he also states that he misses me and wishes we could be near everyday...we cant we're 25 min's apart...he has a dog he has to tend to and i have my son I have to tend to + life's other demands...it sucks that he's not around the corner to pop in and out at leisure and vice versa.

are you Pisces saying that if you say something like that, you mean it. we've already had the honesty talk and i totally told him to tell me like it is to my face as I can so respect you later for telling me honestly instead of worrying about my feelings...they'll heal faster with honesty than b.s. and we have a chance of being friends if each is treated with respect- which is why you date right? companionship and friendship...its important to me at least.

v-lady, no, I know that you are talking about the Pisces man .. it's just I thought you finally gave up on him. The last time you were here, in the Virgo room, I thought you had said things were finished between you and him.

Thank GAWD ... you got rid of the Virgo nutcase .. he was totally fucking you up. Sometimes, I just wanted to come through the screen and strangle you for tolerating his bullshit. Anyway, you got away from him .. yay for you 🙂🙂

Back to Pisces man .. a couple things, V-lady, in which I've told you before and I still maintain its validity now because it still appears to be present in you, as you regard this relationship you have with him.

First, I want to address .... your emotional casualness and accepting attitude you have with him. I don't know how much you pay attention to women around you when they are dealing with a man .. but, if you do, you will notice that for the most part, women fucking smother men to death with their emotional neediness .. a guy really only has to give one little hint that he's attracted to a woman and the next thing you know, she's texting/emailing/calling him with suggestions to infer that she loves him, and she awaits for any clue in his words to hint that he has feelings >>>>>>> then she pounces on this like a hungry cat and literally sends him running away with her emotional out-pourage.

And you don't do that to this man >>>>> that's why he's still there.

That ^^^^^ is the secret in keeping a man with you.

You know he has a woman, and you've known this for a while, so you know he's not available (and no, this isn't about morals) ... in knowing this, and with the LDR situation .. you have the awareness that you CANNOT over-burden him with how you feel. You come in here, and have for a couple years nearly, defining how you feel about him .. and yet, you keep most of these feelings hidden from him because you know better than to .. you know if you do, then he'll swim.

And that ^^^ is the whole problem here with your plight, and coming in here to ask questions. You know how you feel, but, you don't know how he feels about you because you know that you can't burden him with these overwhelming emotions because if you do .. then he'll bounce.

It's a paradox, that ^^^^^ .... because for the fact that you aren't suffocating him with your feelings, is also the very reason WHY he respects you, spends time with you online, can even sleep right next to you and not grope, V-lady.

He's safe with you, you know this, and we've talked about it numerous times in the past.

He can be himself, totally, with no worries about having to wear any kind of masks in your presence .. because he KNOWS you aren't going to bombard him with all these sentiments you have welling up inside of you.

Pisces people actually LOVE others who will be casual like that with feelings, you know. As deep as ours goes, and as much as we want to express and want another to express to us ... we also don't like sappy-shit, where people feel emotionally dependent, to hang on our every feeling, so they can devour it.

This is the reason WHY he continues to want to be with you, spend time with you, talk to you, hug you, spend hours upon hours online with you .... because you don't pressure him into nurturing your feelings for you to feel valuable with yourself.

You're at a cross-roads with this man and have been for some time. Here's something to think about ... if he's spending this amount of time talking to you, regarding your words to him, coming to you when he needs to talk/share his thoughts, if he feels so comfortable in your presence (when possible) that he can lay next to you and enjoy just the depthness of your two souls together without touching you ..... then this speaks louder than any words of, "I love you", V-lady.

He has a woman .. he's sharing with you, and he WANTS to share with you, that's WHY he spends all this time talking to you about his life.

You've made that possible for him to cherish/regard you this way by not pressuring him for more.

So, what do you do? I don't know. But, I do know that if you change this up and become an emotional burden to him like all the other women in the world who attempt to force sentiments out of their men by emotional manipulation, or by sheer emotional clingyness .... then he'll bounce because he has come to rely and depend on you for you actually possessing this desirable emotional control and composure. So, if you change it up now, it'll freak him out, and then look at you differently .. as if you've been trying to fool him all this time when you've projecting the energy to him that you are safe and solid and he doesn't have to worry about being manipulated by you, or twisting him.

A catch-22 has been created here the past couple years ... damned if you do, damned if you don't.

He does love you, V-lady ... you know he does, I know he does .. what to do about it? I still don't know 😢

This conversation is like a cool glass of water at the moment.

PA - You're right on target with what you're saying, but in particular the whole idea of me not expressing my feelings to Mr. Pisces because I do know what would happen. I also can't say I would blame anyone who is driven away by excessive emotion. It turns me off too, although I don't think I've been the recipient of it as much as most men are.

I have no idea what I said in the Virgo room (excellent memory, though), but what happened over the summer was that we had a conversation where I ended up feeling like one of many women he hooks up with when he's in their city. I thought there was an implication that all the time and all the conversation meant nothing to him, so I took a break from him for a month - no chatting, no being online, nothing.

[Instead of talking to him about it, I think I went and posted here. Or something like that to let off steam. I certainly focused my energies away from him.]

When I finally felt better and more centered in my world, we chatted and I explained to him how I had interpreted that conversation. And here's why he's a really decent guy... Instead of telling me that I had misunderstood, the first thing he did was apologize. It was along the lines of "I have no idea what I said to make you feel that way, but you must have gotten it from never meant to make you think that you were meaningless. All I said is that I can't give you more than I have. I've never compared you with other people I've met somewhere down the line."

The conversation that prompted yesterday's post wanting clarification was another instance of me being sensitive to something that I know he feels is completely innocuous. I say "I miss you," he says "I'll take that as a compliment." No big deal, but it wasn't what I wanted to hear.

A lot of the comments people have given me focus on the Pisces' capacity to have friends that they're not romantically interested in. What happens when you throw sex into the mix? Can you have friendship and sex, and not get attached?

Patience please. I'll over-analyze Mr. Pisces here and take some time away from our conversations while I get some mental balance again (through focusing on my own life and work).

The other thing here ... that we talked about last year when you met the Virgo Man from Hell .... is your desperation to be loved.

When you began to see other men, despite how you were feeling about Pisces Man .. you eventually began to remove your feelings for your Pisces from yourself, and CLUNG to the V-man.

Now .. think about that ^^^ V-lady, for reals. When we talked about it last year, you couldn't see what I was saying because your heart was all fucked up, but, now hopefully you can see it, since horrid Virgo man is no longer tormenting your feelings.

You're NOT A CLINGER .. you're NOT .. and yet, you did. You clung onto this man in ways that are against your nature because your heart was desperate to be loved, and because you felt burnt by P-man.

So, my whole point in this is to express how psychologically .... you WANT this man so bad, so fucking bad, because of how he makes you feel so alive in who you are as a person .... that's it only normal, being a woman in love, that you are going to read into every little tiny iota of his words or actions, to see if he loves you back.

Fortunately, for you, you are a woman of control, no matter how much your feelings are wieghing you down. And I know this as well as you do, for it's evident in the way you express your pride and self-worth.

Your heart IS desperate, V-lady, for this man ..... and that is a good thing, and bad. Good, because you know you're a live and able to love to its fullest ... bad, because without a woman's desperate heart being fulfilled, in time, it kills a woman's soul.


And here you are again, facing the same issues that was tearing you apart a couple years ago, or so, when you first came in here and asked us what's going on with this man .. what should you do.


I don't know what to tell you on what you should do ... except maybe move to England. That's a drastic change, to move your whole life around like that ..... but, you have to wiegh it out ... is it worth it to you? Perhaps, if you think you could do this, you could run it by him to get a feel on what he thinks.

I don't know ..... if I did, I would tell you.

Oops. Correction in above... his comments to me were "...but you must have gotten it from somewhere. I never meant to make you think that you were meaningless."

But, I do know that if you change this up and become an emotional burden to him like all the other women in the world who attempt to force sentiments out of their men by emotional manipulation, or by sheer emotional clingyness .... then he'll bounce because he has come to rely and depend on you for you actually possessing this desirable emotional control and composure.

No, I'm not going to go all clingy on him. That's probably why I'm posting here. I feel the need to get it out, but I can't express it to him. For one, I see what it does to him. I really did burst into tears when I said goodbye to him last, and it was awful to see his reaction. He just stood there and really didn't know what to say or do. Given how he thinks about other things, I don't think it would be unreasonable for me to assume that he felt guilty and helpless at the same time. I don't want to do that to him. If I'm hurting because I have to say goodbye, that's just something that I have to express. If I'm pissy because I want some emotional feedback from him... well, that's not his issue to deal with.

I do feel completely good about expressing things to him. It's not a question of whether or not I can be open. I've shared anger and caring and all sorts of things. It's that I've really learned (in part through him) that it's one thing to share an emotion for the sake of being open and sharing. It's something completely different to share an emotion with the intent of causing some sort of change in behavior - which is just manipulative and not cool.

So I'm working this one out on my own and will be back in touch with him when I'm feeling more balanced.

hehehe .. that's funny that you were only estranged from P-man for a month .. it seemed like forever in here talking about V.

Perhaps, I've got my timing screwed up, then. When you were in here last year, on Virgo board, discussing Horrid Virgo Man .... this was in the timeframe that you gave up on Pisces, right?

"I've shared anger and caring and all sorts of things. It's that I've really learned (in part through him) that it's one thing to share an emotion for the sake of being open and sharing. It's something completely different to share an emotion with the intent of causing some sort of change in behavior - which is just manipulative and not cool."



This is something that most people don't realize. Pisces people WANT and CRAVE for people to express thier emotions to us, any emotions, all emotions .. anger, glee, sadness, joy .. all of them. We want our partners, friends, all people in our life to feel safe and comfortable with us to know that whatever it is they are feeling ... our ear is there, our understanding is present, our heart wants to be there for whatever it is you need back ... whether, it's just to vent, or to assist, or help you change, or just support >>>>> whatever you need.


Unfortunately, though, most people take this open-heartedness to think that we are wanting for them to direct/twist/manipulate how we are suppose to feel because it appears to others as though we don't know how we feel because we aren't expressing our feelings, rather, allowing you to express yours.

It's like a person looking for answers .. we don't give any ... so, it appears as though we are directionless, and need guidance. When in reality, we don't need guidance at all, and don't need a person to mold how we feel ...... we were simply allowing YOU to express yours.


:::::: sighs ::::::


You "get" that, V-lady .. there's very few who do. 😢

Virgo dude was from November-ish 2007 to March-ish 2008. I met Mr. Pisces in December 2007 and that's what precipitated our big (and really only) Official "I Care About You" Discussion. I told him that I had met the Virgo and was hoping that things didn't become too serious too quickly because I wanted to have the emotional and relationship freedom to see Mr. Pisces in December.

[If I remember right, PA, me telling Mr. Pisces about the Virgo really pissed you off. I think you thought it was manipulative.]

The whole "I really need a break from our conversations" with Mr. Pisces took place at the end of May to the end of June, so it wasn't a direct response to the virgo. I think what was happening with me at the time is that I was feeling really battered and bruised by all these bad decisions I made about men. I needed a break for a few reasons, but all going back to how I just needed to spend some time thinking about who I am and what I need.

I don't know that I ever gave up on Mr. Pisces. Did I? With the exception of that one month or a couple of times he's been on vacation, we never let more than two weeks (at the very, very longest) go by without talking. Then we talk for like 10 hours and are back in touch every couple of days. We both go off and get our space, but that's the extent of it.

Am I remembering wrong? He's pissed me off and made me crazy, but I don't know that I've ever not wanted him in my life (at the very least as a friend). I'm open to being corrected, but at the moment nothing is coming to me that would contradict that.

I don't know ... you probably remember better than I do, since you were there living it .. and I remember getting pissed off at you 🙂

I'm a Fish, v-lady .. and WILL express emotions as they arise.




"You have to spend each day pursuing your dream. If you spend even one day waiting on the hope that something in the future might work out, then you have wasted that day."

Amen to that Bijou ... problem is though, what if this dream you want to pursue is the heart of another person? And a Piscean heart, at that, that is ALWAYS double-layered in two different extremes?

If inside is warm, outside layer is cold
If inside is cold, outside layer is warm


How does one really get to the heart of such a person?

Oh, I posted the above without reading the rest of your thought process, Bijou ..


"I realized that my dream to be in a relationship was a false dream, an illusion. What I truly want is to pursue MY dreams"


For that reason ^^^^^^ is along the lines of why I don't believe unconditional love can exist. To be unconditional, can only be defined according to an individual, exclusively for themselves. Another person cannot adhere to your view of unconditional love you have for yourself in which you would desire .... because they can only adhere to their own individual view of what unconditional means to them.

How does one really get to the heart of such a person?

I'm finding that vast amounts of patience and consistency is working wonders. The thing is that it's been completely unconscious on my part. I'm in one of those situations where I feel a certain way and there's nothing I can do to change the feeling (not saying I can't manage my behavior, but the feeling itself is something different than how it manifests in the world).

I care about this man and I realize I can have no expectations or demands or anything. All I'm left to do is care. I think I've done that - patiently and consistently and without a need for reciprocity - and I'm assuming he's picked up on that somewhere along the line.

Thus, take this man out of the equation in terms of your happiness. You can envision that you are involved with him, or not, the important thing is to discover...HOW do you want your life to be? WHAT do you want to do in your life? WHAT makes YOU happy? Then you live your life in that way.

I agree completely. This is something that I manage to incorporate better and better every day (progress not perfection!). It's also been the foundation of seeing some real improvements in my relationships across the board.

then live each moment in a relationship like it is the last time you will see that person. Then you will have no fear or anxiety for a future

That's what I've done with Mr. Pisces in the past and... honestly... it's heart breaking. I used to have no trust and faith in him and think that every conversation with him would be our last. The key to me opening up and beginning to believe in him as a person and a friend is the understanding that there will be a tomorrow and another conversation. For all this talk about Fish just *poof✨ swimming away, Mr. Pisces has been pretty amazing in terms of his own gentleness and protectiveness towards me. Granted, he could very well hurt me, but I really don't think he ever (consciously) would.

I totally love novels. Pisces, novels, fudge, Project Runway and Mad Men. Love them!

First and formost I wanna say hello to all the pisces here on the board particularly P-Angel and Bijou.


v lady

Just a couple of things, this pisces man has a gf his in a committed relationship. Does she know about your relationship with him? You mentioned that he hooks up with other women whenever he's in their city. Have you met his friends and his family? Do you guys do things together aside from sex and hanging out inside the hotel or chatting for hours online? Does he talk about having a future with you?

IMO, he's gonna keep treating you the same way. Your relationship with him will be exactly the same way next year, two years from now or five years from now because that's all you ever want. Are you happy with that kind of relationship from him? If he cares about you he'll encourage you to be with someone who will give you so much more, a fulfilling relationship, the kind of relationship that will help you grow. Do you wanna keep posting here and asking advise why this pisces man is detaching?

If you wanna know if he cares about you, start making demands then you'll know.

chloe !!!!!


How are you? Are you ok, now? Have you found a way to heal from your emotional injury?

I hope so 🙂


(((hugs)))

P-angel

I'm doing great!! Not fully healed but almost there... I started my own flower/gift shop..taking most of my time..How are you?

What happened to your virgo man from back in may?

In late winter/early spring he sold his house and started preparing to move to another city. In the last few weeks he was in the area (no longer in his own home, but staying with relatives about an hour away), he just stopped communicating with me. I tried contacting him two or three times (just "hey, haven't heard from you, hope you're doing well), with no response. You live and you learn.

Does she know about your relationship with him?

Of course not.

You mentioned that he hooks up with other women whenever he's in their city.

He does. And I have other sexual partners as well.

Have you met his friends and his family?

I have not. He lives in Europe. I live in the U.S.

Do you guys do things together aside from sex and hanging out inside the hotel or chatting for hours online?

We do, to the extent that time allows. We don't get a chance to see each other often and when we do see each other, time is limited.

Does he talk about having a future with you?

No, but why would he? That's not even something that's entered my mind. We're getting to know each other. We like each other's company. We're friends. I'm not sitting here mooning over some fantasy relationship.

IMO, he's gonna keep treating you the same way.

I sure do hope so. He's a kind, considerate, compassionate, empathetic friend. He's a wonderful lover. He's one of the few people I've met who isn't threatened by me being the very best person I can be. He's a huge cheerleader and a amazing source of support. I'd be pretty disappointed if he started treating me differently.

Your relationship with him will be exactly the same way next year, two years from now or five years from now because that's all you ever want.

Where have I implied or otherwise indicated what I want from life, love, relationships, etc.?

Are you happy with that kind of relationship from him?

Given where I am in my life, yes. When I miss him (which happens for a few weeks right after I've seen him) or when I'm feeling particularly close to him, I do want more. On the whole, though, I'm really working on myself and my career. I'd like a relationship in an abstract sort of way with someone I love, but honestly I don't know if the time is right at the moment.

This might be as much about my willingness and ability to commit to anyone at the moment as it is about him and his availability.

If he cares about you he'll encourage you to be with someone who will give you so much more, a fulfilling relationship, the kind of relationship that will help you grow.

I'm so glad to know that he cares about me. He did just that when I mentioned my hesitancy about getting involved with the virgo (mentioned above) because I was anticipating seeing him (the pisces).

Do you wanna keep posting here and asking advise why this pisces man is detaching?

Yes, I do. 🙂

It's always a huge relief to be able to come here and vent and allow free reign to my propensity to over-analyze.

Chloe .. that's awesome news !!!!


It means you got OUT of the office, where you had to watch him parade around with Scorpio-slut.

Healing takes time ... sounds like you are well on your way to removing him from your heart, since you're doing your own thing now.

How's business? Is it pretty successful?

"I know he likes me. Does he like me *that* way? Does the fact that he's emotionally distant when I'm super emotional mean that he has romantic feelings towards me? If I'm crying and he's not responding physically, is he trying to be a good friend and not create false hopes?"


v-lady .. you gave the impression here ^^^^ that you wanted your relationship with him to change, by looking for clarification as to whether he likes you *that* way, and then querying about romantic emotions.

Just telling you that you gave this impression, so that's why those questions were asked of you, and comments were made.

How you feeling today? Bueno? 🙂

I'm cool with people asking perfectly reasonable questions, but come on... Look at what I was responding to... "Your relationship with him will be exactly the same way next year, two years from now or five years from now because that's all you ever want."

WTF?

The point that I was trying to address diplomatically was the "you ever want" one. It struck me as being an incredibly inappropriate generalization and a precursor to the moralizing that so many of my posts here seem to precipitate. Did chloe ask what I want? What that "all I ever want" is? She didn't. The way I read her response to me was as a toned-down version of the "you should know better than to be involved with a man in a relationship.... these things don't ever go anywhere... stop wondering because I know your reality far, far better than you do..." If that's a misinterpretation on my part, my apologies.

To answer you directly, PA... This might be one of those toe-may-toe/toe-mah-toe things. For the sake of clarification... I think it's possible to ask about feelings without implying any need for a change in relationship status. I really don't see our behaviors or situations changing anytime soon, regardless of how either of us feels. Given all the logistics, I'm more interested in what's going on in his heart than establishing a set of definitions or limitations or whatever else a change in relationship might entail.

And yes, I'm doing totally fine today. 🙂 Thanks for asking!

Just had a moment of frustration last week with Mr. Pisces that I had to get out of my system. My inner balance is once again righted.

Oh no!!!! More clarification!!!!!

PA didn't send me to the top of a tree. She's been totally great here and I have really valued her insights. I don't always agree with her view of things, but that's part of the joy of everyone being different.

As for pisces.... That thing about not being able to replace someone you love until another HUGE love comes along... That's something my Mr. Pisces has as well.

While living in London, he met a girl from Spain. She was in London for a year and, when she left, they continued their relationship (with him commuting back and forth). She gave him an ultimatum - move to Spain or that's it. He **hates** to be told what to do, I suspect there might have been some other things going on, but that was that. That happened about 5 years ago.

Mr. Pisces almost never speaks about his current relationship. When I saw him in December, he said something along the lines of how hard it is to be with someone who can't live up to the love he had with the Spanish girl. His current girlfriend wanted more from him and he had a hard time giving it because she just wasn't that one.

Fast forward to two weeks ago and we're lying next to each other talking and out of nowhere he mentions that his Spanish girl called him that day to tell him she was having a baby with her boyfriend. He said it matter of fact and didn't elaborate, but I know how huge this is for him. Something similar happened to me and it's really a final sort of letting go that has to be done.

Same conversation I finally ask him about what his relationship with his girlfriend is like. His first comment is "what can you say about a part-time relationship." Then he seems to back up and does the standard line with "it's a relationship like any other with its ups and downs."

I'm now officially rambling.

I would like to think this way also .. however, how one feels doesn't always coincide with what we "think" we would do.

If I ever met up with a person from my past, in which I never has chemistry with ... I can say now that I'd never consider a romance, based off of how I felt then .... but, that's not really accurate.

Because I don't know how I'm going to "feel", according to what my mind tells me now.

Furthermore, I truly believe that people fall in love with aspects of a person, a quality, or trait of a person ... and not really the person, themselves.

So, if a person changes, so will perspective of how you regard this person.

P angel

Yes I got out of the office, no regrets...I went to IC. I travelled for about 2 months went to Europe, Thailand then India. An opportunity came where a friend of my dad's wanted to sell her flower shop, I've been in and out of that shop since I was a kid I loved that place. I've always have a green thumb..P-angel yes business is good..I'm still trying to learn and there's still alot to learn but I,m having fun...I still get to be creative. As for the Pisces man, he's seperated again he's been trying again with me but I couldn't trust him anymore.It was so empowering to tell him NO.AS for the scorpio she's still around BUT the husband left her she's on her own and is trying her best to do her job coz she can't afford not to loose her job. I didn't leave because of him, I left for me I wasn't happy there anymore and I reallized that theres so much out there for me to experience, there's so much I want to do. Being there was holding me back. I didn't tell the pisces man anything but he always knew and has been very supportive. I'm in a much happier place now.

V-lady

I'm sorry, I just got the impression that you wanted more from him.