Clueless Pisces

For days now I've been coming to this page and tried, I really tried to understand my so called Libra. But considering that I'm now writing my first post, it's clear that I am completely clueless.
It's been now 2 months that we are "hanging out", and for about 50 days, this man has been PERFECT. Writing me the most beautiful emails, texting me constantly, calling me, being a gentleman in our dates, caring, sweet and so on.
The only thing missing in him was initiative, and last Sunday I had enough and actually wrote him an email, asking him what was it, why wasn't him more passionate whenever we were together. He writes me the most sexy, arousing messages, but whenever we are face to face, NOTHING. Just cuddles, but don't make a move. I asked him if I was being too aggressive, or not aggressive enough, and there it was,he said that I wasn't being aggressive enough. Ok, got it. So I invited him over and he never showed up. He said that he didnt recall saying no the invitation, but he never said yes either. He disappears for a day and on the Friday, there he is, texting me like mad, and being him again. This weekend he vanished from Earth, and I also didn't try to contact him. So yesterday, there he is, sending me an email. Not a single "how was your weekend", "should we hang out?". Just a music ( we do that, sending each other our favorites songs).
But c'mon now.
What should I do— Should I just give up—
I really can't read this guy. For the past week he has been distant, careless, but all in his terms. He comes and goes, and I have no idea when it's personal or not.
We were talking about going to the movies for more than a week, and even on Friday, he said we would talk about it soon, that would be "my prize" for a favor that I did to him. And then he vanishes— I would be ok with it, but he has never, EVER done that. For this whole 2 months, we talked everyday, by email, txt or phone.
I'm lost and to be honest, heartbroken, cause I do like him.
But is this normal— And why doesn't he communicate,and tell me he needs space. And if he needs space, why does he keeps sending me stupid emails??
Was he offended by my email? Is he done with me and doesnt know how to do so??
Is he scared of me being too passionate?? Should I contact him or not??

Libras on Earth, help a poor romantic pisces!!!

Prior to my current relationship, I "dated" this Libra guy who was a complete player. Just some of the things you're describing fit that player to a "T". Be cautious...

He likes the idea or fantasy of you, but not the reality. Sorry.

" He likes the idea or fantasy of you, but not the reality. Sorry."

So true. I'm often drawn to Damien Rice's lyrics on Volcano.

What I am to you is not real
What I am to you you do not need
What I am to you is not what you mean to me

perfect.

What I don't get it, is why would someone spend all this time pursuing someone and just don't open up. And why does he keeps contacting me. Is is so hard to be honest and come clean?

Was nothing real??

He is twisting you and don't let him do that..Make up in your mind that he does not care for you the way that you deserve and go from there..Don't listen to your heart right now..the heart has no logic dealing with this..Shake it off walk it away and don't look back, you will be happy you did..

Doing so. He wrote me ( if you call a vid an email) and I have no intention on answering.
It hurts, cause he created such a memorable persona of himself, but I'm not gonna settle for less. I've been nothing but respectful of his personality, cause I'm also very independent and do like my space, but he is just a flake. An amazing, smart, charming flake. But still a flake.

I really didn't see this coming, but I'm glad that it was in the beginning.

I just can't get over all the emails, the "you're perfect, amazing and all shenanigans if it wasn't true.

Why bother—

Believe me, I'm far from being perfect and never had the intention to portrait one. On the other hand, coming from a failed marriage, I was honest from the beginning, told him my personality, that I didn't like playing games, that I was moody, emotional, and that I liked being alone. He said that he was the same, that he also didn't play games.
Yeah, right. He doesn't play games, he IS the game. Sad to see that nothing have really changed in relationships.
I have never dated a libra, I've been cursed ( or blessed) with Virgos for about 10 years and honestly, lately, I changed my mind about who's the most confusing sign out there.
From all the posts that I read about libra, it's pretty much the same pattern.
It's really a matter of choice, if someone wants to go along.
I do like him a lot, and in many, many things we were great together, but I can't be involved in another roller coaster. Nope. Can't do.

So what to do now— Tell him that— Write him or call him—
I honestly don't want to. But I kinda fear that if he is the one looking for me, I'll fall for it 😢

Theory is fun, but so far from reality 😢

Take it from the #1 fck up with libra men on this board...DON'T DO ANYTHING!

Thanks... I will follow your advice, since I clearly have no idea what I'm dealing with. I just deleted some of his txts... I cannot believe that he out of nowhere became this guy. I really am devastated over it. Specially because for 2 months I had him everyday, being present and caring and now this... nothing. He was addictive, if you know what I mean. 😢

hahahahaha... we are shy to begin with. Second we dont know what to do and whats acceptable for you. Then we dont know if it would be disrespect. We also hate repeating what we see around us as portrayed by media. So you will have to ignite the fire if u expect something to happen. Or you will have to drive him nuts so he would act out of desperation.

The libran - The person that I've been waiting to answer! I've been reading you on the other posts... Finally!

You just said everything that he replied on the email, something like "respect that I might be at loss on how to act." I got that, and after the response, I tried to be the one playing the cards,inviting him over, but somewhere along the way, I just saw him keeping his distance.
He sent me an email on Sunday and I took 2 days to answer back, and there he was, 5 minutes later answering me back, but still, no invitation or anything. I like him way more than I wanna show, and coming from him, I don't wanna scare him either. He was such a present, romantic guy and after my whole confrontation he just changed so much. I really don't know what to do. It's not like he's not talking, but it seems like he went back in time. I don't mind having to rebuild what we seemed to have, I just don't know how. Should I just call and say we are going to the movies this weekend??
Im extremely romantic, passionate, but I don't wanna sound bossy or pushy.
Also, he is always the one to call, in this whole time, I never called him, out of the blue. When I did call, it was always after he txting me to call, so we could figure it out what were we doing. Do you think he could get upset over that?
I just always thought that I should give him the space and the choice, that if he wanted, he would call.
He sent me a song on one of the emails, and the lyrics were something about goodbye, and I asked him if those were his intentions, and he said no. He could've said yes, but he said no. When I mentioned that I thought that he had seen the movie without me,that he was bad ( all in a funny tone) he said that he made me a promise, that he keeps them, and that the movie was for me.
So what should I do? Should I ask him out. Just tell him that I'll be buyin the tix??

Would he like that??

Hi Pisces

I want to talk to you but your name doesn't allow PMs for some reason. I will give the matter some thought and reread through everything. I am a little annoyed at the moment so is it okay if I answer tomorrow when I am in a better headspace? Also, is it okay if I reply here since I can't PM you?

Be Well!

L_S, feel free to comment here. At this point, anything is valid. Still, I have no idea why my PM doesn't work. Is there something that I should do?

As for the email communication leokitten... That's what you get from 2 writers. Everything seems easier to approach by the sound of the keyboard. 🙂

"He likes the idea or fantasy of you, but not the reality. Sorry."
Oh how true!
little_sparrow knows what she's talking about.

I suspect that it might be because you have a quotation mark in your name. Can?_t search your name either. ?_

Okay this is what I think of the posts I just reread. Not the thing you sent me yesterday.

* What I don't get it, is why would someone spend all this time pursuing someone and just don't open up. And why does he keeps contacting me. Is is so hard to be honest and come clean?

* Was nothing real??

Well ?K I don?_t totally get why people do this. It also seems to be a strong Libra man phenomenon. Fantasy relationships and the long distance relationship. BOTH involve keeping someone at arm?_s length and not allowing the person to get close. It is like they like the fantasy but when push comes to shove, they don?_t want real intimacy. They say Libra needs to be in love so maybe he is focusing all this love energy at you but it seems like it is just the actions without the emotions behind it. Like a bunch of empty gestures. Know what I mean?

The other part of this phenomenon is eventually the men get over themselves and find real relationships but usually not with the fantasy relationship girl. That, understandably, causes a lot of pain, frustration, and tears. It really has nothing to do with the girl. It has to do with where he is at this moment in his life and what he is willing to give.

The problem you have is you have a guy who isn?_t giving you what you want. What he is giving is not compatible to what you desire and need in a relationship to be happy.


* And why doesn't he communicate,and tell me he needs space. And if he needs space, why does he keeps sending me stupid emails??

Well it is kinda early in the relationship. I think he is at the point where you don?_t have to ask for space. Know what I mean?

* after my whole confrontation he just changed so much.

That is because he is happy with the way things were. He didn?_t want to change the situation because he was happy as it was. It fit his needs.

This is what I mean when I say incompatible. He is perfectly happy with the way things are. You want a real relationship where you see each other, do things together, laugh together, grow together. Am I right?

Compare what you want with what he wants. (If he wanted things to be different, he would be giving you different things.) He is very happy having an arm length relationship where you text each other (not talk more fantasy that way), don't have commitments to each other, don't necessarily see each other and get together, do your own thing, see each other when it is convenient. Yet he gets to think about you and pretend at romance and a relationship. Does that sound about what he is doing/giving you?

See how the two things don't match?

My theory is complaining at a man (I am not 100% sure they ever hear us when we complain. Lol!) doesn't work because they are really happy giving what they are giving. It works for them and if it didn't they would change. Furthermore, some other girl out there would be VERY, VERY happy having a guy that is hardly ever around and just texts/emails. They are called Scorps. HA HA HA! (Little joke there although I do have Scorp girlfriends who would see their guys 3 times in 6 weeks and thought *that* was a little much. I don't get it as I am very opposite of that but just goes to show different people want different things.)

So basically what you want isn't compatible with what he wants.

Take the focus off of him and put it on you. If you could have any relationship in the world WHAT would it look like? Who is the guy? What do you do together? How does it feel? My guess is it isn't what you have now.

I think you want a relationship where the guy never gives you a moments doubt. You always know where you are and that you are important to him. You want an open, honest relationship where you feel free to be yourself and accepted fully and completely. You want a relationship where you are deeply loved, accepted, appreciated, and respected. YET you have fun together. You laugh and enjoy each other's company. You can't wait to see each other. You do things together and are a real couple. You have great soulful sex that blows your mind. You feel happy, free, and relaxed.

Does that feel right to you or close to what you are looking for? (This is just a guess on my part based on some of the things you have shared.)

The thing is you can't change him. You can talk, yell, kick, scream, punch, pull, push at him but he is who he is and that is that. If I were you, (and not that long ago I was dating and in any number of very similar situation) I would take the path of least resistence and find a guy who wanted what I wanted and the relationship was easy, joyfilled, and made me happy.

Why not turn on that dating profile and see how many other guys are out there? There are hundreds and hundreds of great guys out there? Why push an unwilling cow up a hill when you have a cow that willing goes the way you want?

Seriously, I would let this guy go. Not because he isn't a great guy (the world is full of great guys) but he isn't the great guy for you. This isn't fun for you and is filling you with worry and angst. Find the easier cow.

hugs and hope this helps!

"It also seems to be a strong Libra man phenomenon. Fantasy relationships and the long distance relationship. BOTH involve keeping someone at arm?_s length and not allowing the person to get close. It is like they like the fantasy but when push comes to shove, they don?_t want real intimacy."


Maybe they just want a beard? j/k all you macho Libra men 😉

COOOOOOKKKKIEEEE!!!!

XOXOXOXOXOXO

I am surprised you didn't get on my ass about comparing men to cows. I expect Atom to use it as Sparrow is evil and hates all men fuel.

My beard is beautiful.

So that is my advice based on the past posts.

As to the email.

It really could be that there is a lack of physical attraction. He really likes your mind and your taste in music. (Believe it or not that can be a huge thing. I use to get really excited when I found someone who was into the same music as me too, but it didn't always amount to anything.)

how do you know when is time to let go?

Ohhhhh! This is a divine question! It is the hard, hard question to answer. I wish I knew.

You're relationship is still new. If you aren't happy and fulfilled in your first year or two together, the relationship probably isn't worth holding onto. IMO.

But I really don't know. Only you know what makes you happy and what cause you pain. I am also not sure how much has changed since your posts.

In your email, it sounds like you guys are in a better place than you were.

I wish I had the answer to that question. I really do.

Best of luck!

LS !!!!!!!

OXOXOXOXOX


Are you kidding?!?!?!?! Men would love to be cows, that way the milk would always be free... 😛

LOL!

Touch?!

Thank you so much LS. Your insight was extremely, extremely helpful.
Everything you said about my wants, was me. The utopic me, the one before all the traumas, and contact with reality.
Right now, I really don't know if I could handle. In fact, I know I couldn't.
Before him, I briefly dated this co-worker,(yet another virgo) who I was really good friends with . And he was everything that you say that I wanted, and that I thought I wanted too.
But I was going nuts with the constant presence, feeling suffocated at work, at home, within. Shorter after I ended things with him (without missing him at all), I started talking to Mr Libra and I had no intention to fall for him. In fact for most of the time, I cherished his distance, and the respect that we had for each other space.
It was just a thought that opened Pandora's Box, the one worrying if we would ever become more. It was a mistake, cause A, it's super early in the "Whatever we call this", and B, I really don't see myself being able to give more. I want to, but I can't.
The other day I woke up, and this thought crossed my mind, that I really didn't see myself wanting to wakeup with someone by my side, on my bed, ever again. Like, ever.
It scared me so much, and it opened my eyes, of how damaged my last relationship made me.
So not only I need to be careful of what I want, but also, of what I ask, and if I could ever give back in return.

So here I am stuck in this fight with my broken heart, my precaution and my stupid ego.

Fun, right? 😢

* Men would love to be cows, that way the milk would always be free...

It would explain why they are so full of bull! (Yes. It really has taken me this long to think of a response. *hangs head in shame*

* So here I am stuck in this fight with my broken heart, my precaution and my stupid ego.

Peshhha! It happens to everyone. You are where you are and it will take as long as it takes. If it makes you feel better, a Virgo man took me out of comission for 3-4 years. It was brutal.

The thing is it is okay for you to be where you are. Don't push yourself or make yourself hurry. Take your time. Try to enjoy this experience for what it is and when the time comes for you to want more or need more, bless this experience for bringing you there and continue on. Life is a series of steps. Try to enjoy each one. Know that one day everything will be okay again.

🙂

All this cow talk makes me wanna watch that chick flick Someone like you, with old and new cows all around, lol.

Glad and sad to know that I'm not the only one with a Virgo Ache Tattoo.
It was the most painful experience in my life.
I don't know what is the thing with Virgos. For the past 10 years, all of my boyfriends, husbands ( only 1, ha!), flings were Virgos.
Even my Libra has a feet there, since he's a cusp. Do you guys know anything about virgo/libra cusps?? Something tells me it's gonna be fun to read about that! 🙂

Anywho, thanks again. It's been really comforting.

And you're right, I should enjoy the ride. If comes to an end, at least I had a great soundtrack!!!

* If comes to an end, at least I had a great soundtrack!!!

There you go!

Plus, music isn't a great basis for a relationship. Ask me how I know?!? LOL!

Seriously, if this is all you want right now, why worry? Don't make it more than it is 'cause of "messing around" guilt. Enjoy it! Don't take it too seriously but just relax and enjoy. If you don't have a commitment to him, why not take a peek at other men out there?

Enjoy and make yourself happy. I read a great quote about how the most loving thing you can do for someone is make yourself happy. How true!

Be gentle with yourself! And have some fun damnit! You water signs and your fun-hating ways. 😛

Now .... where did that delicious cookie go? off to hunt. lol!

Is not a great basis, but damn... the joy of finding someone with the same taste.
We have this little game, to just send each other vids... and sometimes I can't stop smiling, cause there it is, one my songs, sent by him.
It's silly I know... but music, writing and movies are such a turn on, lol.
I'm gonna follow your advice and try to have some fun.
You're so right... sometimes being a water, a Pisces Pisces is exhausting.

Love it, but my oh my, I do need a little vacation of myself. Ha!

Oh I know! My Virgo ex wooed me with music. It was terrible and tragic. lol! But as you said, I left with a great soundtrack. The unfortunate part is I don't go to as many concerts anymore (unless with him) cause I am afraid to run into him on a date. AWKWARD!

Have fun! Enjoy life! Live it up!

You have no commitments to this guy so enjoy your time. If you run into a great guy who invites you to dinner go! Have fun!

As for Cooks, I think he gave me the slip. Last time I offer to shave for a man! *picks pride off floor*

Worse than music, my weakness is for a man who can use language in clever perfect ways. There is a certain sound words make when they click together. If a man can do that, MY GOD I go crazy.

deliberate word usage is hot.

Oh you are a writer. You GET how hot deliberate word usage can be.

I knew a leo once who could make me climax through perfectly crafted sentences. My GOD he was hot. On all levels. *sigh at fond memories*

I'm a writer and that's how he got me. He's a writer as well... and let me tell you, the emails that I get... to die for... the kind of writing that keeps you smiling for hours, just remembering the lines... good writing is not sexy... It's sooo sexy!!!

We play a lot of little games, and one of them is actually finishing each other stories... So much fun, and so intimate. His style of writing, his mind, everything suits mine so well..

That's my problem with this man. He's like crack ( well, never tried it, but it seems very addictive, lol).

But that's the thing... we are so fascinated by our minds, that sometimes reality is like a bucket of cold water.

The other day I was actually amazed that we had a whole conversation involving where should I put my TV, lol. That was weird. :o

Damn! I want to ask you something but your damn PM doesn't work. grrrrrr!!!! lol!

Just sent u a PM with my email 🙂

You have mail!

Now everyone will want to know what secrets we have. Let them wonder! *Flings back beard ... I mean hair.*

Me likey secrets. Although, I must confess... this one ... not so much. Ha!

Hi Pisces Libra,

What LS says is soooooo true. I had a brief fling with a Libra and had similar expreience. Now one of my best Aqua friends has fallen head over hills for a Libra and once it got too emotional and intense he hid under a rock. She went on texting him blah blah. She than tells him she is moving to the Winterpark Mountain Resort for a job as a chef and all of a sudden he wants to be up her ass. It is apparent he is in love with her as much as much as she is in love with him. If you see them together they are like children in love.

BTW - She had already left and never did see him. She said it so blantly in confusion....I am in his backyard and he won't come see me. The minute I am getting ready to depart and live on a mountain top he wants to be up my ass. She was confused and bewildered.

My theory on Libra men still stands true. They really gravitate toward women who treat them like crap. It is that balancing thing .....they need someone to balance like a fixer up project. Things are too great and balanced with you PL that is why he won't go there. Maybe you should try being psychotic than you will see more of him. 😉 LOL J/K

Here is another example of how Libra men act. One of my very good and dear friends always falls for the crazy ones or the ones who are unavailable. He was dating the Capricorn Beotch and totally worshiped her. Trust me she was not all that and a bag of chips either and she confessed to me and my friend that she was just using him. We adore our libra friend and it angered us to see him allow this to happen.

Now that Cap Beotch is out of his life he went back with this bi-polar schitzo Russian lady who used him once before. Again, same story .....he knows how this will play out however there he is falling for the crazy one. She is in a bad spot and he is doing everything to help her out.

Our Libra friend is a smart guy, he is a scientist, sweet as pie, and so fun to be around but this has been his pattern.

I once told him, wow J you sure fall for some fixer-up projects. He told me "So, what is wrong with that?" That tells me independent women did not work for him.

When I think of Libra men I think of Ward Cleaver. They want to be the support and man of their home. Almost like Libra men are stuck in the 50's when this was the norm.

Anywho that is my two cents.

I don't get libra men and never know if I ever wil.

BTW - My grandfather a libra too......in love with my Capricorn grand-mother ......very dysfunctional and even crazy relationship at times. I must admit it is my grand-mother who wears the pants in the house. They have a sweet relationship now ....but growing up and seeing some things that happened between them two .....so confusing and baffling why they stayed together.

Libra men confuse the hell out of me.

PD

" Maybe you should try being psychotic than you will see more of him. " Hahaha!

I wish I could be the psycho from my early 20's. But I'm way too old to deal with that now.🙂
Things got better ever since my first post. Than they got weird. Than they got better.
I guess I really am dating a libra. 🙂
Weird enough, I suddenly got this calm attitude about it. Yesterday was a great example.
He went on a field trip and I sent him a txt saying to enjoy it.
He texted me back at nite, saying that it was fun. Considering that he didnt ask me anything, or kept the txt on a go, I didn't asnwer.
Thought about it, but you know what... if he wanted, he would say something.
So I kept doing my thing, and voila, there he was writing me an email with photos of his day.
Sharing it. What a girl to do??
And it's always like this. So the pattern is exposed.
It's just a question if I'm ready to deal with it.
I'm way too intrigued to give up. 🙂

But you're right. They confuse the hell out of anyone. Ha!

sorry i forgot that i once replied in this thread.

yes!!! you need to ask him out to see where exactly you stand.

PL - I am sooooo happy it all has played out nicely for you. 🙂 Keep us posted. I

You know slowdance, that's pretty much what I've been doing. And it's the only way to go.
It's still kinda nerve wreking for me, cause I am a Pisces and things need to be felt, understood and expressed constantly... but I must say... dealing with him has made me learn a lot about myself.
I usually get trapped between what I'm suppose to want, and what I actually am capable of having. And as weird as it may sound, my Libra is perfect for this moment in my life.
It's funny cause I'm very introspective, and I cherish my alone time more than people can imagine. So it's overwhelming at times to be with someone that feels the same way.
We talk everyday, by phone, txt or email ( email being a favorite, since we're both writers), but we can go days without seeing each other.
But noooo, as much as I don't wanna see him at times, my ego is driving me nuts, wondering why he doesn't want it either. Ego is a bitch. Ha!
When we do see each other, it's always a surprise. Sometimes we are us in a sec, in others it takes a couple of minutes to rebuild our intimacy. Why? I have no idea, and I learned my lesson of not asking, lol. And I did learn that surprise! Not everything is related to me. lol.
And you're right, most of the times, I honestly think that he has no idea how his distance may affect me. Cause when he's back, it's the old same him.
He's an adventure, and I can't deny that I'm hooked.
We'll see how it goes, but for now, I'm trying my best to enjoy the right now and don't pull a pisces. Hahahaha.

Thanks and I'll keep you guys posted. 🙂

pisceslibra, an update please? did you guys ever get together in person?

i am libra/scorp cusper with lots of libra in my chart more than my libra man. the more i read posts here the more confused i am getting. do i treat this man like dog sht, do i pursue him to make his stupid insecurities go away, do move on to another man (i get bored easily after the honeymoon period unless i am deeply in love with the guy or he fks me over too many times), do i wait patiently...?

hey hun not to be intrusive or anything... has he made love to you yet and progressed from there!

check out the following website for some help dealing with men like this, do not I repeat do not compromise who you are and what you truely and deeply desire...

www.loveisinthestars.com

I have found that the main issues with my Libra have been not understanding what he needs or what I need, instinctively, and obviously the battle with that... slowly I am learning to assert what I need but hey it's gonna be a century I think before Libra fulfills it! LOLOL

I find that when I'm natural and loving, he becomes disarmed and giving

you can't play games forver you will go insane! nonetheless librans must be the most frustarting men on earth! 🙂

good luck sweet pea