Question (all views welcome!)

Just wanted to know what everyone thought of this.

If your parents came into a bit of money, say in the region of a million (that's pounds btw not dollars), would you as their child think it reasonable to expect a share of it.

As I said all views welcome.

Thanks!

I think it depends on the relationship.

For example .. I have a Cancer brother who has used his family repeatedly through the years .. for the sole purpose of gaining, for his own benefit. I cannot even remember a time in my life where he actually GAVE to any of us.

Then you have myself and my other brother (Scorpio) .. who has always given to the family, in all ways, not just monetary. If someone just needs an ear to bend, either of us will drop what we're doing to aid our family member. Whereas the Cancer brother is all about himself .. he'd actually hang up the phone on one of his family members if they are in need.

So, if one of our parents (which they're both passed, so this is hypothetical) were to come into money .... which one of those above children do you think my parents should help?

What if there were 3 kids and one, the youngest (18), was given a share but you weren't?

Would you feel left out?

What about those of you who are parents, if you came into a large sum of money like that would you want your kids to benefit from it now, as opposed to when you pass away?

It would depend, Thetis.

It would depend on how giving my children were. If I had a child who was selfish, and by his/her actions, it appeared as though this child couldn't give a rats ass about the family, then they would probably only get a few pennies thrown their way. Whereas, if I had a child who was giving of him/herself to the family, and selfless, then hundreds of thousands would be given to them.

People get what they deserve .... anything more than what they deserve is just wrong, from my perspective.

Thanks guys.

Well this is the situation in my family at the moment, and my Scorp brother is none too chuffed.....he says it's not greed because to be honest he's pretty well off himself anyway (he's not a sponger either btw he's worked very hard for what he has and has never asked for help from our parents financially or expected anything), I think he just feels that it's unfair to give to one child and not the others.

Personally I'm not bothered either way, except that there has been a lot of talk within the family (even my mum's brother thinks we should be getting something) and I'm sensing it's going to kick off big time. I've stayed out of the whole thing so far but I have a feeling I'll get dragged into it.

It appears to me that the majority of people live according to a reward/punishment system, however, the problem with it is that it's so ingrained into their conditioning that they don't even know they do it .... backwards, agaisnt them.

For example .. a person will sin, then pray.

A person will be selfish/greedy, then do a good deed before the asking for money, and they will think that because they just did this good deed, that they would be deserving of the money they asked for, completely ignorant to the fact that before this need of money being asked for ... they were actually selfish.

So, are you saying that you and another sibling got some of this money and the Scorpio brother didn't?


Why don't you ask your parents why ... they would probably tell you.

money tends to skew everything. if your parents came into 1 million collectible items, would you expect them to give some to you? Probably not, but everything changes with money.

it's their money. they shouldn't be expected to give some to you, and you shouldn't want it unless they really wanted to give it to you.

It's not really like that P honestly I moan about my brother but he's not like that at all, we've all been pretty close as a family and as I said he is only miffed that we are suddenly being treated differently as children.

Bijou that's sad to hear, this is what is bothering me, I couldn't care less to be honest about the money, I am concerned that this is going to tear the family apart.

P our sister was given a share and my brother and I not.

I'm only trying to get others opinions as my personal view was they can do as they please with it, but I've had my brother on the phone going ballistic about the whole thing. I can kind of see where he is coming from though, if they gave neither of us anything fair enough - but to give to 1 and not the other 2 does seem a bit unfair.

My brother has "spoken" to my mum about it, and I've saw my mum since but never mentioned it and neither did she. I'm trying to stay out of it.

My brother said that my mum was just going on about investing the money for the future etc. and he said well wouldn't you rather make a difference in your kids lives now than in 20/30 years time or whatever.

Honestly they are all driving me mad, money money money that's all I keep bloody hearing.

Sounds to me that .... if .... you were to get involved with this, then it should be to tell your brother to back off, and shut up.

You know, Thetis .. it doesn't matter if a person is wrong or right, because a person for the most part can be reasoned with. But, if your brother is putting your mother on the defensive, then she will stand her ground, even if she knows she's wrong.

If the aim here is for your mother to see reason .. then he needs to let her leave her alone so she can let her feathers fall back into place. Until that happens, she won't be able to "hear" anything he says. Trust me, I know all about ruffling feathers.

And that's not a bad thing to do to get the point across .. but, the secret is, once the point has been made, the next move is to back off and let this other person "think" for themselves, so that their sensible mind will return.


Perhaps, you should ask your mother. You may say that you dont' want to get involved .. but, isn't that kind of late?

You ARE involved, whether you wanted to be or not, because you are a member of the family. Perhaps, you could settle this, by just asking your mother why, in a calm, and non-threatening fashion.

Well I have already told my brother I don't want any part of it. I know what you are saying though, I just hate family related crap. Plus my brother and mother are both pretty fiery characters, if it kicks off big time it will BLOW UP and no joke.

I think I will wait until my mum raises the subject with me, which I expect she will at some point.

The problem I have is that every time they both argue my mum will call me to rant about my brother and expect me to back her up, then my brother will call me and do the same. I can't really win either way, I will at some point be expected to take "a side" as it were and if I don't I'll no doubt be accused of it from both anyway!

Then here the reality lays .. you are already involved.


You don't have to take a side .. but, you will if you don't nip it in the bud now, before it escalates.

There's a reason "why" your mum gave to only one ... your answer to this equation is finding out what this truth is.

If you don't, the only thing you'll be left with is reacting within the situation, with no solid confirmation as to why, either way.

Good Luck, and I would suggest .... seeking the truth.

No.

My feelings would be hurt if my siblings received gifts, while I was overlooked. But, at the end of the day it is not my money, and especially if I made no direct contribution to their gain, I would not feel entitled to reap benefits.

"If your parents came into a bit of money, say in the region of a million (that's pounds btw not dollars), would you as their child think it reasonable to expect a share of it."

You bet your sweet ass I would! But that is only because my Dad is constantly urging me to buy lottery tickets so that if I win he will get HIS share of my winnings. 😛

But honestly, if the situation were reversed, I would definitely give them a lump sum to pay off their house.

No. Money doesn't even come close to the immense worth of family especially a good one.

I don't talk to my parents and they've disowned me when it comes to their will. So no, I don't expect a thing from them.
🙂