nats
@nats
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Slept with pisces ex. Now im confused!!
So sat night comes around it was already about 7, I didnt think he'd make contact and surprise surprise he texts me asking what im doing. I tell him nothing, that we'll do something. He tells me his short on cash I tell him i am too and to come over and we'll just hang out. So he replies saying his on his way.
I havent had **** in a while because I dont want to just sleep with anyone for the sake of ending my dry spell and If i was too, I wanted to do it with someone ive already slept with. I thought okay, his coming over, perfect chance! loll. So he comes over everythings good not awkward at all, my room mate is sitting with us watching tv and she eventually locks herself up in her room leaving us two alone. Everythings good and comfortable and were sitting together on the same couch close to each other. We play cards for a bit and start drinking (his idea). We end up drinking half a bottle of wine and 6 beers but we're fine not drunk just a tiny bit typsy.. not even. So I start talking about **** and tell him how there is a bi aquarius girl who is chasing me and I dont know what to do and he gets really excited and into the conversation and his like I think this is the BEST and most interesting conversation we've had!! I tell him I wanted to have a 3some and if i should count him in as a candidate? He straight away says yes and starts planning the night (i thought it was really cute lol). So anyway him and I can bring up the topic of our ex relationship and its fine we can talk about it completely fine and bring up memories.
So he tells me lets sit back on the lounge and were watching a movie He then asks me if the movie works in the dvd player in my room i tell him yes. We go into my room, I bring the bottle of wine and 2 glasses in, and close the door. His already laying in my bed completely comfortable like he used to when we were together. I come in etc etc were talking and then he tells me to close the door and to turn the lights off.
I havent had **** in a while because I dont want to just sleep with anyone for the sake of ending my dry spell and If i was too, I wanted to do it with someone ive already slept with. I thought okay, his coming over, perfect chance! loll. So he comes over everythings good not awkward at all, my room mate is sitting with us watching tv and she eventually locks herself up in her room leaving us two alone. Everythings good and comfortable and were sitting together on the same couch close to each other. We play cards for a bit and start drinking (his idea). We end up drinking half a bottle of wine and 6 beers but we're fine not drunk just a tiny bit typsy.. not even. So I start talking about **** and tell him how there is a bi aquarius girl who is chasing me and I dont know what to do and he gets really excited and into the conversation and his like I think this is the BEST and most interesting conversation we've had!! I tell him I wanted to have a 3some and if i should count him in as a candidate? He straight away says yes and starts planning the night (i thought it was really cute lol). So anyway him and I can bring up the topic of our ex relationship and its fine we can talk about it completely fine and bring up memories.
So he tells me lets sit back on the lounge and were watching a movie He then asks me if the movie works in the dvd player in my room i tell him yes. We go into my room, I bring the bottle of wine and 2 glasses in, and close the door. His already laying in my bed completely comfortable like he used to when we were together. I come in etc etc were talking and then he tells me to close the door and to turn the lights off.
I did. I come back into bed and im laying there.. with a lot of space between us (I didnt kno what to do and to be honest I was waiting for him to put on the moves.. i already knew what I wanted to do!) So a bit of my lower back tattoo is showing (im giving him my back) and he leans over and lifts up my top and he goes show me your new ones (which are on the upper half of my back) I left my shirt and he starts sensually and slowly running his hands all around my back and grabbing my waist etc I then turn over and his all over me and trying to kiss me, I keep pulling back (trying to tease a little) and he comes onto me more like he wanted to ravish me! lol So were kissing etc, we both knew where it was going, he asked me if I wanted him to wear a condom or not I told him not to (been with him before, plus im on contraceptive pills) so we have **** and its passionate while it lasted. He came in about 5mins lol so It wasnt much of an experience. He was immediately embarrased and got off me and his like wow that was too quick I know you want more, I said to him, i'll be getting more later on 😉 lol anyway. He went completely weird and rolled over and layed on the end of the bed, closed his eyes and then I kept on asking what was wrong etc he kept on sayig he was tired I was like bullsh*t seriously whats wrong and he goes I dont know its a bit awkward dont you think? I was like no bla bla im fine with it.
He goes doesnt it bring back memories? I was like umm not really and then I go good or bad memories? and he goes both. And then he goes, its weird dont you think? being here together, doesnt it just seem like it was yesturday? Me being the blunt gemini I am kept on saying no no its not awkward at all and no it doesnt seem like yesturday feels like theres been a lot of time apart. I asked him not to lie to me and that i was sure he was just embarrased that he came too quick and his like yea thats a major part of it and his like I dont know its just awkward and then he was like I havent had **** in 4 months and I got too excited etc etc I kept re assuring him telling him it was fine and I didnt care. He came back up and laid next to me but turned around giving me his back.. So i was like seriously why are you being like this? YOU came onto me and his like I know I did i just wanted to see what you would do. So i said so your testing me? to see if id actually sleep with you or not? and he goes yeah kinda.
He goes doesnt it bring back memories? I was like umm not really and then I go good or bad memories? and he goes both. And then he goes, its weird dont you think? being here together, doesnt it just seem like it was yesturday? Me being the blunt gemini I am kept on saying no no its not awkward at all and no it doesnt seem like yesturday feels like theres been a lot of time apart. I asked him not to lie to me and that i was sure he was just embarrased that he came too quick and his like yea thats a major part of it and his like I dont know its just awkward and then he was like I havent had **** in 4 months and I got too excited etc etc I kept re assuring him telling him it was fine and I didnt care. He came back up and laid next to me but turned around giving me his back.. So i was like seriously why are you being like this? YOU came onto me and his like I know I did i just wanted to see what you would do. So i said so your testing me? to see if id actually sleep with you or not? and he goes yeah kinda.
Anyway his like alright im gonna go (mind you we had been drinking and I figured he'd sleep over since he couldnt be drink driving.. he lives about 40mins from me). I go but you've been drinking what if you get pulled over? etc his like I dont care I have things to do early in the morning etc, so anyway were there for about 10mins I kept telling him to stay the night (pretty much begged him) and he kept on refusing and his like please dont make me feel bad about not staying I just cant and then he goes next time I promise and he said he wanted to see me next weekend (i told him to come to the club I was going to be at) so he goes next weekend it will be better and I'll sleep over i promise just not tonight so I was like okay eventually let him leave lol. So were at the doorway and we pecked by. I told him give me a proper kiss! So we start kissing for a bit and he leaves and I told him if he got pulled over to ring him, and he goes and your going to walk to come and get me? I go yea i dont care. And i closed the door.
Thats it. So why did he come onto me? Was it purely sexual or do you think as a pisces he has any feelings left? I know i dont want to be with him purely because of traumatic my experience with him was. He completely broke me down and I had to start from the bottom. He destroyed my self esteem etc etc. Anyway im over it and i've moved on from the situation and the pain but I still somewhat want him in my life as a FRIEND. I just dont know what to expect from this now? I've never had **** with an ex and I dont know what his thinking or how his taking it. How should I tread about this? I just miss the physical side of being with him. Such as having him there all the time and laying and cuddling together for hours on end and not saying word. If he never showed me his evil and manipulative side, I would definately be trying to get back with him!
Thats it. So why did he come onto me? Was it purely sexual or do you think as a pisces he has any feelings left? I know i dont want to be with him purely because of traumatic my experience with him was. He completely broke me down and I had to start from the bottom. He destroyed my self esteem etc etc. Anyway im over it and i've moved on from the situation and the pain but I still somewhat want him in my life as a FRIEND. I just dont know what to expect from this now? I've never had **** with an ex and I dont know what his thinking or how his taking it. How should I tread about this? I just miss the physical side of being with him. Such as having him there all the time and laying and cuddling together for hours on end and not saying word. If he never showed me his evil and manipulative side, I would definately be trying to get back with him!
Yea because it ended so quickly I was still ready to go for a few hours longer and so thats why i said, dont worry i'll be getting more later on 😉 (as in i'll be getting more from HIM later on).
The only reason I wouldnt be with him again etc is because of how he turned on me and became super manipulative and just horrible a completely different person. We'd fight ALL THE TIME and he would be super verbally abusive and saying the meanest things to me. It just killed and drowned my energy and my spirits and I changed for the worse and wasnt myself. He was overlly clingy and posessive and I couldnt do anything without 'his approval' etc. I dont know what went wrong.. but if I knew we could start clean on a new slate and work on the previous problems we had then i would definately be with him. He was a really good boyfriend on his good days... on his bad days, jeez, NEVER want to experience that again.
So you think he still has feelings left? How can I get this out of time or get him to admit it etc.
What if I continue to sleep with him? what will happen then?
The only reason I wouldnt be with him again etc is because of how he turned on me and became super manipulative and just horrible a completely different person. We'd fight ALL THE TIME and he would be super verbally abusive and saying the meanest things to me. It just killed and drowned my energy and my spirits and I changed for the worse and wasnt myself. He was overlly clingy and posessive and I couldnt do anything without 'his approval' etc. I dont know what went wrong.. but if I knew we could start clean on a new slate and work on the previous problems we had then i would definately be with him. He was a really good boyfriend on his good days... on his bad days, jeez, NEVER want to experience that again.
So you think he still has feelings left? How can I get this out of time or get him to admit it etc.
What if I continue to sleep with him? what will happen then?
him*
Ummm... ARE YOU MENTAL?! You may have "been with" him before... but he's been with OTHERS in the year and a half since then.. WEAR A CONDOM, FFS! *facepalm* You only know about the Leo girl... and there could be more, even a drunken one night stand with a nameless and half-forgotten bar-slut that he intends to keep secret to his grave! And you have NO idea about the Leo girl's sexual history.. or all or HER partners' histories.. or all of THEIR histories.. GET IT?!?!?
You can say you're "over him" all you want, but it looks like you're not. If you WERE.. you wouldn't have been begging him to stay after having sex -- and in fact, you'd have taken up a different option with another guy if it was JUST SEX. And if you ARE "over him" and it's your EGO that was insulted that a guy might actually work so hard to get the goodies and then bail immediately... put your ego to bed and stop playing with his feelings. If you want to be FRIENDS, then be FRIENDS, and don't sleep with him. Sex with exes keeps feelings tangled up.. brings back old memories, sends mixed signals, all kinds of mess. Someone usually gets hurt.
If you DON'T want him back, DON'T sleep with him... even if you might secretly feel deep down that this is a good chance to "pay him back" for all the pain he caused you.. by you showing him how it feels. That's a dangerous game to get into, you know... and statistically speaking, it's the females that often get emotionally jacked up in and FWB relationship.. you might be setting yourself up big time. Not that setting HIM up is any better.
But no matter what you decide to do.. STOP FUCKING GUYS WITHOUT CONDOMS, BEFORE YOU CATCH SOMETHING, ESP SOMETHING YOU CAN'T GET RID OF! Don't become a statistic; use your brains, Gem girl!
You can say you're "over him" all you want, but it looks like you're not. If you WERE.. you wouldn't have been begging him to stay after having sex -- and in fact, you'd have taken up a different option with another guy if it was JUST SEX. And if you ARE "over him" and it's your EGO that was insulted that a guy might actually work so hard to get the goodies and then bail immediately... put your ego to bed and stop playing with his feelings. If you want to be FRIENDS, then be FRIENDS, and don't sleep with him. Sex with exes keeps feelings tangled up.. brings back old memories, sends mixed signals, all kinds of mess. Someone usually gets hurt.
If you DON'T want him back, DON'T sleep with him... even if you might secretly feel deep down that this is a good chance to "pay him back" for all the pain he caused you.. by you showing him how it feels. That's a dangerous game to get into, you know... and statistically speaking, it's the females that often get emotionally jacked up in and FWB relationship.. you might be setting yourself up big time. Not that setting HIM up is any better.
But no matter what you decide to do.. STOP FUCKING GUYS WITHOUT CONDOMS, BEFORE YOU CATCH SOMETHING, ESP SOMETHING YOU CAN'T GET RID OF! Don't become a statistic; use your brains, Gem girl!
Well see him and I have kept in contact since we broke up and all during his 8 month relationship with that leo girl. She DETESTS me because she knows that during the time they were together, he used to speak to me. She even rang me up a few times blowing up at me over him and then I said to her why are you so stuck up on me? Have you ever stopped to think that maybe he talks to OTHER girls not just me and then she goes "NO your the ONLY one he talks to and everytime he speaks to you he changes and he becomes a different person towards me its like you do something to him".
When we were together, the first few times we slept together he always came too quick (maybe its a piscean male trait? haha) no really though, and like you I didnt care because I really liked him and to me, sex isnt everything. Im a gemini btw. So after sleeping together a few times he controlled himself and built his stamina etc.
Anyway, I just dont know what to do, if I want him back or what I want from him. I definately miss his companionship but his evil side just traumatised me. He can be so sweet and beautiful and caring etc and thoughtful and then he could turn into satan himself!
And yea like your ex, mine was also needy, manipulative and super emotional but I kind of liked that he was so emotional because im completely not and he HELPED me feel and helped me to think its okay to FEEL my emotions rather than analyze them and he helped me understand thats its okay to show your vunreability and show your emotions. He never did understand my logical thinking when it came to emotions because his actions were based on his emotions solely where as i would think things through over and over and analyze the situation before acting. And yea like your ex, mine turned on me after he went through my record of saved MSN Messenger conversations and found a conversation I had a friend a male friend in which I said as a joke that I wish i was single (to go to a festival we had coming up), so I could pick up and then I said no im joking, i really like him (my x pisces) and id never EVER cheat on him. Anyway he found the convo and went physcho and since that day, he never trusted me completely and turned into satan! lol
When we were together, the first few times we slept together he always came too quick (maybe its a piscean male trait? haha) no really though, and like you I didnt care because I really liked him and to me, sex isnt everything. Im a gemini btw. So after sleeping together a few times he controlled himself and built his stamina etc.
Anyway, I just dont know what to do, if I want him back or what I want from him. I definately miss his companionship but his evil side just traumatised me. He can be so sweet and beautiful and caring etc and thoughtful and then he could turn into satan himself!
And yea like your ex, mine was also needy, manipulative and super emotional but I kind of liked that he was so emotional because im completely not and he HELPED me feel and helped me to think its okay to FEEL my emotions rather than analyze them and he helped me understand thats its okay to show your vunreability and show your emotions. He never did understand my logical thinking when it came to emotions because his actions were based on his emotions solely where as i would think things through over and over and analyze the situation before acting. And yea like your ex, mine turned on me after he went through my record of saved MSN Messenger conversations and found a conversation I had a friend a male friend in which I said as a joke that I wish i was single (to go to a festival we had coming up), so I could pick up and then I said no im joking, i really like him (my x pisces) and id never EVER cheat on him. Anyway he found the convo and went physcho and since that day, he never trusted me completely and turned into satan! lol
NEFER: I understand what you are saying but I guess i trust him and trust him in the sense I know if he KNEW he had something, he wouldnt put me through it. I asked him if he had slept with anyone since his leo girl, which was 4 months ago and he said no. And a few months after him and I broke up I asked him if he had slept with anyone and he admitted to sleeping with some random one night at a club and that he regretted it because she didnt mean anything to him. But that was it.
And yes you are right, if it had been with another guy in different circumstances, I would have been the one to tell the guy to leave straight after we slept together. But I wanted him to stay... I guess i wanted to re live old memories from when he'd sleep over etc.
To be honest I dont know what I want.. and im still confused as to how I feel for him..
And yes you are right, if it had been with another guy in different circumstances, I would have been the one to tell the guy to leave straight after we slept together. But I wanted him to stay... I guess i wanted to re live old memories from when he'd sleep over etc.
To be honest I dont know what I want.. and im still confused as to how I feel for him..
Posted by aPiscesPrincess
Do you know the rest of his chart btw?
I do and i'll put his and mine up in a sec. I just dont know his rising.
HIS
Sun Pisces 13.59
Moon Leo 10.15
Mercury Pisces 25.39
Venus Aries 20.43
Mars Aries 22.17
Jupiter Aquarius 5.44
Saturn Scorpio 28.07
Uranus Sagittarius 17.50
Neptune Capricorn 3.21
Pluto Scorpio 4.32 R
Lilith Aries 20.00
Asc node Taurus 20.50
Planet Aspect Planet Orb/Value
Sun Square Uranus 3.51 -47
Moon Opposition Jupiter 4.31 -139
Moon Trine Uranus 7.35 6
Moon Square Pluto 5.43 -7
Mercury Trine Saturn 2.28 58
Venus Conjunction Mars 1.34 461
Venus Trine Uranus 2.52 45
Mars Trine Uranus 4.26 60
Jupiter Square Pluto 1.12 -72
Neptune Sextile Pluto 1.11 63
693 -265 428
and me
Sun Gemini 22.41 Ascendant Libra 14.09
Moon Libra 19.28 II Scorpio 14.31
Mercury Gemini 0.47 III Sagittarius 13.58
Venus Cancer 11.03 IV Capricorn 12.54
Mars Cancer 28.14 V Aquarius 12.36
Jupiter Gemini 19.32 VI Pisces 13.30
Saturn Capricorn 11.58 R VII Aries 14.09
Uranus Capricorn 3.47 R VIII Taurus 14.31
Neptune Capricorn 11.31 R IX Gemini 13.58
Pluto Scorpio 12.47 R Midheaven Cancer 12.54
Lilith Libra 14.02 XI Leo 12.36
Asc node Aquarius 28.02 XII Virgo 13.30
Planet Aspect Planet Orb/Value
Sun Trine Moon 3.13 114
Sun Conjunction Jupiter 3.10 287
Moon Trine Jupiter 0.03 97
Moon Conjunction Ascendant 5.20 168
Mercury Sextile Mars 2.33 76
Venus Opposition Saturn 0.55 -296
Venus Opposition Uranus 7.16 -39
Venus Opposition Neptune 0.28 -171
Venus Trine Pluto 1.44 94
Venus Square Ascendant 3.06 -34
Venus Conjunction Midheaven 1.51 228
Jupiter Trine Ascendant 5.23 11
Saturn Conjunction Uranus 8.11 76
Saturn Conjunction Neptune 0.27 344
Saturn Sextile Pluto 0.49 179
Saturn Square Ascendant 2.11 -38
Saturn Opposition Midheaven 0.57 -107
Uranus Conjunction Neptune 7.44 45
Neptune Sextile Pluto 1.16 61
Neptune Square Ascendant 2.38 -11
Neptune Opposition Midheaven 1.24 -34
Pluto Trine Midheaven 0.07 15
1795 -730 1065
Sun Gemini 22.41 Ascendant Libra 14.09
Moon Libra 19.28 II Scorpio 14.31
Mercury Gemini 0.47 III Sagittarius 13.58
Venus Cancer 11.03 IV Capricorn 12.54
Mars Cancer 28.14 V Aquarius 12.36
Jupiter Gemini 19.32 VI Pisces 13.30
Saturn Capricorn 11.58 R VII Aries 14.09
Uranus Capricorn 3.47 R VIII Taurus 14.31
Neptune Capricorn 11.31 R IX Gemini 13.58
Pluto Scorpio 12.47 R Midheaven Cancer 12.54
Lilith Libra 14.02 XI Leo 12.36
Asc node Aquarius 28.02 XII Virgo 13.30
Planet Aspect Planet Orb/Value
Sun Trine Moon 3.13 114
Sun Conjunction Jupiter 3.10 287
Moon Trine Jupiter 0.03 97
Moon Conjunction Ascendant 5.20 168
Mercury Sextile Mars 2.33 76
Venus Opposition Saturn 0.55 -296
Venus Opposition Uranus 7.16 -39
Venus Opposition Neptune 0.28 -171
Venus Trine Pluto 1.44 94
Venus Square Ascendant 3.06 -34
Venus Conjunction Midheaven 1.51 228
Jupiter Trine Ascendant 5.23 11
Saturn Conjunction Uranus 8.11 76
Saturn Conjunction Neptune 0.27 344
Saturn Sextile Pluto 0.49 179
Saturn Square Ascendant 2.11 -38
Saturn Opposition Midheaven 0.57 -107
Uranus Conjunction Neptune 7.44 45
Neptune Sextile Pluto 1.16 61
Neptune Square Ascendant 2.38 -11
Neptune Opposition Midheaven 1.24 -34
Pluto Trine Midheaven 0.07 15
1795 -730 1065
no i've never told him that because i've always been too afraid to express my feelings for him after we broke up mainly because of the way he treated me and what he put me through i didnt want to be vunreable and expose myself and admit I still had feelings for him and I felt like a fool for having feelings for him after everything he put me through. That was then.
Im the type of person that will deny ANY and ALL feelings for someone if I know they arent feeling the same and if I cant sense they will reciprocate. I will deny and hide my feelings until I know where I stand with them and until I know they feel the same. Otherwise i will never let them know.. unless im feeling bold and or I feel like Im going to lose them. Then i'll put myself on the line (but thats rare)
Up until now I was sure I had no feelings for him but now all this is making me think twice..
Im the type of person that will deny ANY and ALL feelings for someone if I know they arent feeling the same and if I cant sense they will reciprocate. I will deny and hide my feelings until I know where I stand with them and until I know they feel the same. Otherwise i will never let them know.. unless im feeling bold and or I feel like Im going to lose them. Then i'll put myself on the line (but thats rare)
Up until now I was sure I had no feelings for him but now all this is making me think twice..
You make it sound like he came onto you .. in reality, you and him had been talkng the whole time he was with another girlfriend, and would secretly talk, and would hang out, and this time you two decided together to hang out at your house, and you were an equal participant in enjoying sittng close to him while drinking wine on the couch ... so, it's not going to work with me .. the way you make it sound like you were perfectly innocent and he came onto you when you didn't want him to because he hurt your feelings way back then.
You seduced him just as much as he did you ...... take responsibility for your actions, Gemini, if you are capable
You seduced him just as much as he did you ...... take responsibility for your actions, Gemini, if you are capable
Posted by P-Angel
You make it sound like he came onto you .. in reality, you and him had been talkng the whole time he was with another girlfriend, and would secretly talk, and would hang out, and this time you two decided together to hang out at your house, and you were an equal participant in enjoying sittng close to him while drinking wine on the couch ... so, it's not going to work with me .. the way you make it sound like you were perfectly innocent and he came onto you when you didn't want him to because he hurt your feelings way back then.
You seduced him just as much as he did you ...... take responsibility for your actions, Gemini, if you are capable
lol p-angel. I've read around here that your not the biggest fan of geminis!. I am taking responsability for my actions and I didnt post this up to be lectured, I posted it up because I wanted PISCEAN insight into the situation and how he MIGHT be feeling or what his actions imply since I dont want to directly ask him.
If you have any advice relating to his actions or why he did what he did or has acted the way he has, it would be greatly appreciated.
And I never said i was acting 'inoccently'. If you read correctly you will see somewhere in my first few posts I said I already had the idea in my mind that I was going to try and seduce him and sleep with him that night. I didnt need to because HE came onto me. So NO i wasnt being innocent about the situation and i DID want him to come onto me. Only thing that confused me was that HE came onto me, where as I thought i would be the one doing the seducing and chasing.
Maybe he used his intuition to figure out that I wanted to sleep with him?
Maybe he used his intuition to figure out that I wanted to sleep with him?
*innocently
HAHAHA! He came onto you because you two were hanging out, drinking and getting tipsy, and YOU started talking about a bi girl and a threesome with him. I'm pretty sure he didn't need any "intuition" at that point to make a move for sex... since you were already talking about fucking, about another girl, about a threesome... so really.. if you're honest with yourself.. YOU came onto HIM, baited him with something you KNEW would trip his trigger and get him going. No wonder he's not "acting" like a guy who was hot-n-heavy chasing his ex-gf down cuz he wanted to get with her again, and now is acting "weird" about it. Your "talk" with him after the sex made it crystal clear to him that you just wanted to get your rocks off... so why so surprised when he decided to bail instead of hanging longer with the chick who basically told him he was used to scratch an itch and it meant nothing to her?
And not to beat a dead horse, but you HAVE to stop being so "whatevs" about condoms, even with him!!.. I never once said he would KNOWINGLY give you an STD, but many men don't HAVE any "symptoms" of an STD even when they have it... and HIV can take MONTHS to show up. It's YOUR job to protect yourself, not to think that it's "safe" because you used to have sex with him once upon a time, and you've been in contact/friends with him all along. I don't care HOW good of friends you are.. you don't KNOW what HE might have.. MUCH LESS what that Leo chick may have or what HER past lovers may have had! It would STILL SUCK for you to get something "accidentally" from your ex, even if he didn't "know" he had anything. USE CONDOMS, until you are in a committed, monogamous, longterm relationship and you've BOTH tested "clean" for 6 months to a year, minimum.
And not to beat a dead horse, but you HAVE to stop being so "whatevs" about condoms, even with him!!.. I never once said he would KNOWINGLY give you an STD, but many men don't HAVE any "symptoms" of an STD even when they have it... and HIV can take MONTHS to show up. It's YOUR job to protect yourself, not to think that it's "safe" because you used to have sex with him once upon a time, and you've been in contact/friends with him all along. I don't care HOW good of friends you are.. you don't KNOW what HE might have.. MUCH LESS what that Leo chick may have or what HER past lovers may have had! It would STILL SUCK for you to get something "accidentally" from your ex, even if he didn't "know" he had anything. USE CONDOMS, until you are in a committed, monogamous, longterm relationship and you've BOTH tested "clean" for 6 months to a year, minimum.
Posted by Nefer
HAHAHA! He came onto you because you two were hanging out, drinking and getting tipsy, and YOU started talking about a bi girl and a threesome with him. I'm pretty sure he didn't need any "intuition" at that point to make a move for sex... since you were already talking about fucking, about another girl, about a threesome... so really.. if you're honest with yourself.. YOU came onto HIM, baited him with something you KNEW would trip his trigger and get him going. No wonder he's not "acting" like a guy who was hot-n-heavy chasing his ex-gf down cuz he wanted to get with her again, and now is acting "weird" about it. Your "talk" with him after the sex made it crystal clear to him that you just wanted to get your rocks off... so why so surprised when he decided to bail instead of hanging longer with the chick who basically told him he was used to scratch an itch and it meant nothing to her?
And not to beat a dead horse, but you HAVE to stop being so "whatevs" about condoms, even with him!!.. I never once said he would KNOWINGLY give you an STD, but many men don't HAVE any "symptoms" of an STD even when they have it... and HIV can take MONTHS to show up. It's YOUR job to protect yourself, not to think that it's "safe" because you used to have sex with him once upon a time, and you've been in contact/friends with him all along. I don't care HOW good of friends you are.. you don't KNOW what HE might have.. MUCH LESS what that Leo chick may have or what HER past lovers may have had! It would STILL SUCK for you to get something "accidentally" from your ex, even if he didn't "know" he had anything. USE CONDOMS, until you are in a committed, monogamous, longterm relationship and you've BOTH tested "clean" for 6 months to a year, minimum.
Okay well since your a pisces I want to know if YOU personally think (as a piscean) that he slept with me NOT ONLY because his a man and he wanted to satisfy his needs or whatever, but because he MAY still have feelings? And the whole convo after of it bringing back memories etc etc. And yes I did make it clear it was just "sex" no strings or feelings attached which may backfire in the longrun IF i wanted to be with him again (im not sure still) but I really did think he'd sleep over to be honest.. and then he also said, that if I had told him i wanted him to sleep over, he would have organised himself better to do so but it was
out of the blue that I wanted him to sleep over and I told him its better when its unplanned and things happen spontaneously. His reply was "not in this situation".
I understand what your saying about the condoms and its just with him, I didnt care (as opposed to other guys) and yea... its no excuse and yes I should have been smarter than to say no dont worry about it but hey, i'll learn from my mistakes IF i catch something.. although I highly doubt i wil..
I understand what your saying about the condoms and its just with him, I didnt care (as opposed to other guys) and yea... its no excuse and yes I should have been smarter than to say no dont worry about it but hey, i'll learn from my mistakes IF i catch something.. although I highly doubt i wil..
Personally, as a Pisces with a Pisces Mercury (I *think* like a Pisces.. as does HE!)... in this particular situation.. I'd feel used and more than a bit dirty, and not in a good way. In a way that makes me think, "Fuck you too, then." Not because I'm a woman, either. My Aries Venus (again, like his) makes me basically want what I want and not care if society thinks badly of me for it.. the Pisces parts just make me not want to hurt anyone in my quest for personal fulfillment, so I avoid it if I can.
Sure, with that Aries Venus of his, he may have just been wanting some good sex with someone he'd been close to before ("stranger sex" rarely gels with Pisces.. I mean, sure everyone starts OUT as stranger sex... but we *prefer* the kind of sex that comes with someone who knows us and our bodies, someone with connection.) But him TRYING to talk to you.. openly vulnerable.. asking about how you were feeling and thinking, because HE was thinking about the past and about you, and feeling weird and vulnerable and wanted to know what page YOU were on... all the leading questions.. and YOU, Gem girl.. you did the "past hurt ex-gf" thing and shut him out, shut him down. It's like I can HEAR his thoughts, "Oh.. I guess this bittersweet little trip down memory lane which was "hurting so good".. meant nothing to her. Nothing's weird, it's not reminding her of what we once had, she insists it was just sex. Wow.. that doesn't feel good. I mean, I wasn't looking to jump headfirst into something with so much past hurt between us, but DAMN... so COLD! I need some time to think about this, to figure out what I'm feeling. I can't stay and cuddle, it's feeling too weird after she said all that. She doesn't want me around anyway, not for more than sex. I better go home, drinking or not. Maybe I'll figure this stuff out and the next time I see her it won't go like this."
Do I think he used you? No. Do I think you used him? Yes, but not on purpose. It's only because you lie to yourself in order to lie to him and us about what you feel and what you want. Does it matter if it was on purpose? No, used is used. Even guys don't like to be used like blow-up dolls. Not healthy, normal ones, anyway.
DECIDE what you want.
Another shot? Go for it.
No way, Jose? Then leave him the fuck alone.
Sure, with that Aries Venus of his, he may have just been wanting some good sex with someone he'd been close to before ("stranger sex" rarely gels with Pisces.. I mean, sure everyone starts OUT as stranger sex... but we *prefer* the kind of sex that comes with someone who knows us and our bodies, someone with connection.) But him TRYING to talk to you.. openly vulnerable.. asking about how you were feeling and thinking, because HE was thinking about the past and about you, and feeling weird and vulnerable and wanted to know what page YOU were on... all the leading questions.. and YOU, Gem girl.. you did the "past hurt ex-gf" thing and shut him out, shut him down. It's like I can HEAR his thoughts, "Oh.. I guess this bittersweet little trip down memory lane which was "hurting so good".. meant nothing to her. Nothing's weird, it's not reminding her of what we once had, she insists it was just sex. Wow.. that doesn't feel good. I mean, I wasn't looking to jump headfirst into something with so much past hurt between us, but DAMN... so COLD! I need some time to think about this, to figure out what I'm feeling. I can't stay and cuddle, it's feeling too weird after she said all that. She doesn't want me around anyway, not for more than sex. I better go home, drinking or not. Maybe I'll figure this stuff out and the next time I see her it won't go like this."
Do I think he used you? No. Do I think you used him? Yes, but not on purpose. It's only because you lie to yourself in order to lie to him and us about what you feel and what you want. Does it matter if it was on purpose? No, used is used. Even guys don't like to be used like blow-up dolls. Not healthy, normal ones, anyway.
DECIDE what you want.
Another shot? Go for it.
No way, Jose? Then leave him the fuck alone.
Nefer has got it spot ON!!
Nats, you got him all worked up about the threesome, so what's a guy gonna do? Ever heard about herpes, chlamydia, etc...the pill doesn't take care of that. Your life is RUINED with herpes or chlamydia, not something to those I know who have gotten it by guys they KNEW were safe to easily brush off. Chlamydia can cause you to be sterile or get cervical cancer. He won't have any symptoms nor will you for many years. Fucking is not a game. What are you doing with your body first of all? And your mind? "I'll just fuck now and will sort it all out later."
This is worrying. For your own sake and I know I'm coming down on you hard and I'm sorry to be mean but as a complete stranger I'm doing what your family or anyone who really cares about your well-being would do. Hope you understand where I'm coming from. 😉
And if he hurt you so bad in the past, why bring it up again when according to you, you are over it? Obviously you are since you felt safe enough to fuck him. You come off as being confused about what or who you like. Men/women, him or another girl. Can you find someone to love and maybe give that some importance and expend your energy on that rather than entertain sexual scenarios? Ah, let's have a threesome, giggle. Do you ever think about the girl who might like you that may feel like crap if you ask her to participate? And how you'll be asking people who cared about who later as you tend to sort these things out after you dive in?
You know, love is pretty great, whether it's with another girl or guy. Preferably one at a time.
Nats, you got him all worked up about the threesome, so what's a guy gonna do? Ever heard about herpes, chlamydia, etc...the pill doesn't take care of that. Your life is RUINED with herpes or chlamydia, not something to those I know who have gotten it by guys they KNEW were safe to easily brush off. Chlamydia can cause you to be sterile or get cervical cancer. He won't have any symptoms nor will you for many years. Fucking is not a game. What are you doing with your body first of all? And your mind? "I'll just fuck now and will sort it all out later."
This is worrying. For your own sake and I know I'm coming down on you hard and I'm sorry to be mean but as a complete stranger I'm doing what your family or anyone who really cares about your well-being would do. Hope you understand where I'm coming from. 😉
And if he hurt you so bad in the past, why bring it up again when according to you, you are over it? Obviously you are since you felt safe enough to fuck him. You come off as being confused about what or who you like. Men/women, him or another girl. Can you find someone to love and maybe give that some importance and expend your energy on that rather than entertain sexual scenarios? Ah, let's have a threesome, giggle. Do you ever think about the girl who might like you that may feel like crap if you ask her to participate? And how you'll be asking people who cared about who later as you tend to sort these things out after you dive in?
You know, love is pretty great, whether it's with another girl or guy. Preferably one at a time.
NEFER your response was PERFECT! lol. I didnt realise then how 'cold' I must've sounded because to me.. it was nothing. But I guess to him it would have been a big blow.
Ughh I dont know!! Honestly I dont even want to get him back and I dont want to hurt him even though he did it to me. I hope what I said on sat night didnt hurt him..
I dont know what I want and thats pretty obvious. The bi girl well... i wouldnt take her seriously as in (for a relationship) I dont think its more so 'experimental' and I told that to the pisces and he goes bullsh*t he goes your just scared of what people will think and then he goes dw about what anyone else thinks fk em do what YOU want and what will make YOU happy. He was pretty understanding of the whole situation.
Its true, I do lie to myself about my feelings its only because im scared of getting rejected. When I feel for someone, I feel INTENSELY and I dont know what to do and I freak out and I deny the feelings and lie to myself rather than be open and admit them and deal with the rejection.
His always 'thought' I've wanted him back and has asked me before if I still loved him but i always denied it and told him I dont love him but id always care about him and thats partly true but I think there MAY still be feelings deep within. I just need to figure them out.
Okay heres a question. How do I find out how HE is feeling? Obv the answer is to ask him.. okay would it be a good idea to have a talk to him about what went down on sat night (in the near future) and what he thinks about it etc OR just leave it alone and let it be?
MISTERY: lol its alright I understand and believe me if I was reading the post and it was someone else's id probably say the same thing you did, id probably be more of a b*tch about it too. Im not offended at all. Im just stupid in the sense I act without thinking THEN i think of the consequences and due to that fact, i've gotten myself in a lot of strife in the past but im hard headed and its something I need to change for the better.
I know I should just be with ONE person BUT, im selfish and if I can have it all at the same time then i'll go for it as long as I havent made an official commitment to someone (which in both these cases with the aqua girl and with my pisces x i havent). I know i sound like a completely idiotic, selfish b*tch but well im being honest and if I come out that way then so be it.
Ughh I dont know!! Honestly I dont even want to get him back and I dont want to hurt him even though he did it to me. I hope what I said on sat night didnt hurt him..
I dont know what I want and thats pretty obvious. The bi girl well... i wouldnt take her seriously as in (for a relationship) I dont think its more so 'experimental' and I told that to the pisces and he goes bullsh*t he goes your just scared of what people will think and then he goes dw about what anyone else thinks fk em do what YOU want and what will make YOU happy. He was pretty understanding of the whole situation.
Its true, I do lie to myself about my feelings its only because im scared of getting rejected. When I feel for someone, I feel INTENSELY and I dont know what to do and I freak out and I deny the feelings and lie to myself rather than be open and admit them and deal with the rejection.
His always 'thought' I've wanted him back and has asked me before if I still loved him but i always denied it and told him I dont love him but id always care about him and thats partly true but I think there MAY still be feelings deep within. I just need to figure them out.
Okay heres a question. How do I find out how HE is feeling? Obv the answer is to ask him.. okay would it be a good idea to have a talk to him about what went down on sat night (in the near future) and what he thinks about it etc OR just leave it alone and let it be?
MISTERY: lol its alright I understand and believe me if I was reading the post and it was someone else's id probably say the same thing you did, id probably be more of a b*tch about it too. Im not offended at all. Im just stupid in the sense I act without thinking THEN i think of the consequences and due to that fact, i've gotten myself in a lot of strife in the past but im hard headed and its something I need to change for the better.
I know I should just be with ONE person BUT, im selfish and if I can have it all at the same time then i'll go for it as long as I havent made an official commitment to someone (which in both these cases with the aqua girl and with my pisces x i havent). I know i sound like a completely idiotic, selfish b*tch but well im being honest and if I come out that way then so be it.
The ONLY way to TRULY get to the heart of a man, to connect emotionally.. YOU have to open yourself.. show your heart, show the real YOU.. fully, HONESTLY, no protection, NO GAMES.. open and VULNERABLE. All the scared parts.. the nervous parts.. the hopeful, wanting parts, the parts we hide from the world to survive, the parts we MUST show to a man for him to KNOW he's special. And OMG YES it's SCARY! It's really putting yourself out there, risking rejection, risking hurt and pain, risking it all blowing up in your face. But without YOU opening up, the average man (who is NOT as "in touch" with his emotions as most women) simply CANNOT.. he doesn't feel SAFE enough to.. if YOU don't feel SAFE and COMFORTABLE enough with YOUR OWN FEELINGS.. how in the hell are you going to handle HIS too?!
But yes, all of this being open and honest and vulnerable requires you figuring out what you REALLY want.. and expressing your feelings to him in a way he can hear! If you're feeling scared, say so. If you're feeling confused or nervous, say so! Do NOT hold back, do NOT PRETEND anything cuz your Outside will not match your Inside, and will twist your vibe into something that screams FAKE, PHONY, NOT REAL, CAUTION!.. Don't say or act like you feel what you really don't, or that you don't feel what you really do! Men may be "clueless" but they aren't stupid.. and their instincts tell them something is very OFF when this happens, when the Vibe shifts and they can't quite figure out why this all suddenly FEELS so WRONG. They don't stick around to analyze it though.. all they know is if they DO or they DO NOT want to be around you more, and act accordingly.
Something he can HEAR: "Pisces, I really love spending time with you, and I miss the good times. But I feel a little weird and confused, since the other night. I don't know if I'm ready to get back together, but I don't want to feel like I'm using you for sex while I'm still so unsure about what I'm really feeling right now. I don't want to put pressure on us, but I'm not sure where to go from here. What do you think?" ... this will open up to have a REAL convo about it, even while you're still figuring out exactly what you want/feel.
But yes, all of this being open and honest and vulnerable requires you figuring out what you REALLY want.. and expressing your feelings to him in a way he can hear! If you're feeling scared, say so. If you're feeling confused or nervous, say so! Do NOT hold back, do NOT PRETEND anything cuz your Outside will not match your Inside, and will twist your vibe into something that screams FAKE, PHONY, NOT REAL, CAUTION!.. Don't say or act like you feel what you really don't, or that you don't feel what you really do! Men may be "clueless" but they aren't stupid.. and their instincts tell them something is very OFF when this happens, when the Vibe shifts and they can't quite figure out why this all suddenly FEELS so WRONG. They don't stick around to analyze it though.. all they know is if they DO or they DO NOT want to be around you more, and act accordingly.
Something he can HEAR: "Pisces, I really love spending time with you, and I miss the good times. But I feel a little weird and confused, since the other night. I don't know if I'm ready to get back together, but I don't want to feel like I'm using you for sex while I'm still so unsure about what I'm really feeling right now. I don't want to put pressure on us, but I'm not sure where to go from here. What do you think?" ... this will open up to have a REAL convo about it, even while you're still figuring out exactly what you want/feel.
Gems are a total whammy for us. I dont care for one gemini i know. Ive been working on keeping open about it tho. Straight up if you do soemthing that loses our trust we never forget it. We do however remember the greatest moments we share with you. We are very sensitive about how we preform in bed as we tend to be pleasers so that little mess up hurt his pride.
If your intentions are not full up he will know. We are slippery squirmy and cant decide on much. Heres the kicker pisces male vengful energy is some of the worst youll experience. Your vulnerabilities are well know to us. Logic rarely plays into how we operate.
If you gain and keep his love and trust then you will not be subject to that again. Its up to you. All you gems seem to forget your dual nature. It is confusing and tiresome for us. If you want to work it out listen to what hes got to say. We usually dont have sex with someone we dont have feelings for. Let alone get off.
If your intentions are not full up he will know. We are slippery squirmy and cant decide on much. Heres the kicker pisces male vengful energy is some of the worst youll experience. Your vulnerabilities are well know to us. Logic rarely plays into how we operate.
If you gain and keep his love and trust then you will not be subject to that again. Its up to you. All you gems seem to forget your dual nature. It is confusing and tiresome for us. If you want to work it out listen to what hes got to say. We usually dont have sex with someone we dont have feelings for. Let alone get off.
Posted by janettam
you know i like to think that all men are not the same, but this post might prove otherwise. im actually an aquarius. i like to rationalize my emotions. when i cry, i feel like my sadness is only on a superficial level as opposed to people who can deeply feel their emotions and understand the complexities of their emotions. l i hope that made sense.
we are quite similar. i do like the pisces guy because he was different from me. he did bring out my nurturing quality but ever since he left i just kind of suppressed it. i also have pisces seventh house and alot of my close friends have moon in pisces or sun in pisces. and from the consensus, all of these pisces have said that i approached them first. so i think subconsciously or consciously i am trying to develop my emotional side. but honestly i will never touch another water sign for as long as i live at least in terms of relationships. i need a man. not a girlfriend.
lol yea your last line about "i need a man not a girlfriend" is the case for me as well. When I was with him I felt like the man in the relationship and like he was my girl. I felt like i had to protect HIM and I want a man doing that for me not vice versa but he was just so sweet and caring and beautiful sometimes (when he wasnt in a bad mood) that it made me forget al the bad things and thats what I miss. Having a guy that isnt so "macho" and is in touch with his sensitivity etc etc. Oh well. I still dont know what i want or what im going to do.
I think i'll just continue to be his friend.. MAYBE with benefits.. depends if if I feel strong enough to not get attached. Plus theres this aqua girl lurking, I have a date with an aries guy on friday so i've got lots of entertainment for now!
what a fucking douchebag ... hopefully, he'll swim away fishy style , just after you get hooked ... you'd deserve it.
Sun Pisces 13.59
Moon Leo 10.15
Mercury Pisces 25.39
Venus Aries 20.43
Mars Aries 22.17
I cannot picture THIS guy as a "girlfriend not a man" kinda guy, tbh. More in touch with his feelings and not as afraid to show them as guys who are more used to being "macho" sure I can see that - he's a Pisces with a TON of Fire underneath. FIRE is emotion too, it's just not the same kind of emotion as a guy with more Water. Fire emotion is more.. forward, more outgoing, less reluctant/careful, more impulsive. But a wussy, this guy is not.
THIS is the part that gets me though: When I was with him I felt like the man in the relationship and like he was my girl. I felt like i had to protect HIM and I want a man doing that for me not vice versa.
I can tell, Gem girl, you are used to being "in control" though you crave someone to rule with you without walking all over you. The thing is, YOU GAVE what you wanted to GET -- it doesn't work, though A LOT of people are that way!! I doubt this Pisces man ever ASKED you to be the man in the relationship (it's kinda your "natural" mode, something it never occurred to you to stop doing!).. and I doubt he ever asked for your "protection".. THIS guy wouldn't need your protection, and wouldn't need you to "run shit".. he WOULD need you to "step aside" so to speak, and let go of your controlling tendency and LET HIM LEAD. Most men, if they like you, they'll go along with this.. for awhile. But eventually, YOU get resentful cuz YOU'RE always Rowing The Boat, always DOING, and he's not... and HE starts feeling.. unneeded, unwanted, in the way.. and more and more distant from you, disconnected from you.. the natural balance is upset. Then you two start getting in pissy fights and saying hurtful things, both so full of anger, resentment, and frustration.. walking on eggshells then blowing up, and not sure WHY. Well, ya gotta LET a man show you what he's made of... and if YOU start out running shit, it sets the tone and NEVER shows him that you TRUST and BELIEVE in his ability to "be the man" and lead and treat you well.
I'm not saying this Pisces guy is the right guy for you, he might not be... but the ONLY way you'll know who the right guy IS.. is by allowing him to show you what he's made of.. by RESISTING your urge to "get shit done" and to "nurture and protect" him, his feelings, your relationship. You're doing HIS job, then getting mad cuz he's not!
Moon Leo 10.15
Mercury Pisces 25.39
Venus Aries 20.43
Mars Aries 22.17
I cannot picture THIS guy as a "girlfriend not a man" kinda guy, tbh. More in touch with his feelings and not as afraid to show them as guys who are more used to being "macho" sure I can see that - he's a Pisces with a TON of Fire underneath. FIRE is emotion too, it's just not the same kind of emotion as a guy with more Water. Fire emotion is more.. forward, more outgoing, less reluctant/careful, more impulsive. But a wussy, this guy is not.
THIS is the part that gets me though: When I was with him I felt like the man in the relationship and like he was my girl. I felt like i had to protect HIM and I want a man doing that for me not vice versa.
I can tell, Gem girl, you are used to being "in control" though you crave someone to rule with you without walking all over you. The thing is, YOU GAVE what you wanted to GET -- it doesn't work, though A LOT of people are that way!! I doubt this Pisces man ever ASKED you to be the man in the relationship (it's kinda your "natural" mode, something it never occurred to you to stop doing!).. and I doubt he ever asked for your "protection".. THIS guy wouldn't need your protection, and wouldn't need you to "run shit".. he WOULD need you to "step aside" so to speak, and let go of your controlling tendency and LET HIM LEAD. Most men, if they like you, they'll go along with this.. for awhile. But eventually, YOU get resentful cuz YOU'RE always Rowing The Boat, always DOING, and he's not... and HE starts feeling.. unneeded, unwanted, in the way.. and more and more distant from you, disconnected from you.. the natural balance is upset. Then you two start getting in pissy fights and saying hurtful things, both so full of anger, resentment, and frustration.. walking on eggshells then blowing up, and not sure WHY. Well, ya gotta LET a man show you what he's made of... and if YOU start out running shit, it sets the tone and NEVER shows him that you TRUST and BELIEVE in his ability to "be the man" and lead and treat you well.
I'm not saying this Pisces guy is the right guy for you, he might not be... but the ONLY way you'll know who the right guy IS.. is by allowing him to show you what he's made of.. by RESISTING your urge to "get shit done" and to "nurture and protect" him, his feelings, your relationship. You're doing HIS job, then getting mad cuz he's not!
Posted by Nefer
Sun Pisces 13.59
Moon Leo 10.15
Mercury Pisces 25.39
Venus Aries 20.43
Mars Aries 22.17
I cannot picture THIS guy as a "girlfriend not a man" kinda guy, tbh. More in touch with his feelings and not as afraid to show them as guys who are more used to being "macho" sure I can see that - he's a Pisces with a TON of Fire underneath. FIRE is emotion too, it's just not the same kind of emotion as a guy with more Water. Fire emotion is more.. forward, more outgoing, less reluctant/careful, more impulsive. But a wussy, this guy is not.
THIS is the part that gets me though: When I was with him I felt like the man in the relationship and like he was my girl. I felt like i had to protect HIM and I want a man doing that for me not vice versa.
I can tell, Gem girl, you are used to being "in control" though you crave someone to rule with you without walking all over you. The thing is, YOU GAVE what you wanted to GET -- it doesn't work, though A LOT of people are that way!! I doubt this Pisces man ever ASKED you to be the man in the relationship (it's kinda your "natural" mode, something it never occurred to you to stop doing!).. and I doubt he ever asked for your "protection".. THIS guy wouldn't need your protection, and wouldn't need you to "run shit".. he WOULD need you to "step aside" so to speak, and let go of your controlling tendency and LET HIM LEAD. Most men, if they like you, they'll go along with this.. for awhile. But eventually, YOU get resentful cuz YOU'RE always Rowing The Boat, always DOING, and he's not... and HE starts feeling.. unneeded, unwanted, in the way.. and more and more distant from you, disconnected from you.. the natural balance is upset. Then you two start getting in pissy fights and saying hurtful things, both so full of anger, resentment, and frustration.. walking on eggshells then blowing up, and not sure WHY. Well, ya gotta LET a man show you what he's made of... and if YOU start out running shit, it sets the tone and NEVER shows him that you TRUST and BELIEVE in his ability to "be the man" and lead and treat you well.
I'm not saying this Pisces guy is the right guy for you, he might not be... but the ONLY way you'll know who the right guy IS.. is by allowing him to show you what he's made of.. by RESISTING your urge to "get shit done" and to "nurture and protect" him, his feelings, your relationship. You're doing HIS job, then ge
DAMNNN NEFER your GOOD!! Im telling you, everything in your post was ON POINT. His mars in aries DEFINATELY came out when he was angry and my cancer sentivity couldnt handle it. I just thought to myself.. how can you POSSIBLY say these things to someone you supposedly 'love and care about'. It is true, ive always been very independant, very in control of myself and my life and when im not or i feel someone else is taking on that control for me I freak out and wont let it happen. This is what happend when him and I FIRST got together. My friends used to say to me, nat let HIM take control and take the lead, just let yourself be vunreable, HE wants to take care of you and protect you so let him. Let him BE THE MAN and yea I did for a bit but then I just felt really stupid like I was being dominated. And then when I told him I loved him he kinda used the fact that I was IN LOVE with him and emotionaly manipulated me in order to control me. Being in control is definately my mode of operation. And yes I think he did feel insecure by me. He once told me after we broke up that he was jealous of me and my life because I had it all (at that point in time) and he didnt so it made him jealous and therefore he tried to manipulate and control me emotionally because thats how he KNEW he'd get to me. Damn, at least he was honest! lol. I read that venus in aries LOVE to be the centre of their person's world and have all their partners attention on them and they can get easily jealous if they feel they arent the centre of their partners world and my pisces was the MOST JEALOUS person. I couldnt even say hello to a male friend without him having a fight with me or making an annoyed face at me. We definately treaded on eggshells. More so me because he manipulated me so I walked on eggshells around him because I didnt want to cause a fight.
I just dont know how to NOT be in control or give that responsability to others. On sat night when I was telling him about the bi chick he was like just got for it etc etc I was like I would but I've never done something like this, i dont know what im doing and I hate not being in control and not knowing and he goes to me, ohh trust me, i know how much you love to control. lol
I just dont know how to NOT be in control or give that responsability to others. On sat night when I was telling him about the bi chick he was like just got for it etc etc I was like I would but I've never done something like this, i dont know what im doing and I hate not being in control and not knowing and he goes to me, ohh trust me, i know how much you love to control. lol
*grin* nah... Pisces aren't naturally jealous, and his Aries Venus/Mars is NOT what makes him jealous - we want freshness, excitement, hate being bored or feeling "stuck".. sometimes can have trouble settling down, at least until we meet the one who can be our EveryWoman/Man and BALANCE the Freedom VS. Commitment without "tying us down" in a "boring, stuffy relationship".. Air Signs give THAT pretty good lol
His jealousy and need to be in the spotlight/center of your universe? THAT would be his proud Leo Moon - all the Aries just makes him SHOW it more than a Pisces (with less Fire) normally would. lol
Sweetie.. unless you WANT to always have to be the Man in the relationship, you will HAVE to learn to relinquish your iron control. There's no two ways about it. Otherwise, you'll be bashing heads with the "manly" men.. and getting bored/turned off by the ones you CAN control -- you won't even find one that can balance it, because YOU can't balance it. But this isn't about the guys.. this is about YOU, the ONLY person you TRULY have ANY control over. You have this NEED to run shit.. but it's not what you really want, and it turns you off.. but you don't know any other way to be. (Ummmm.. Alcoholics in your family? Esp parents? Adult children of alcoholic parents tend to have a deep NEED to control everything they can get ahold of, it's the only way they feel "normal" and "comfortable.") You WON'T find what you really want if you cannot learn to NOT attempt to control your partner, the situation, the relationship, the pace, the mood, the outcome, the everything you keep TRYING TO control, things that CANNOT be controlled.. because "letting go" is SO MUCH MORE SCARY!!
As gently as possible, Gem girl... you totally unmanned him.. chopped him off at the knees.. did not TRUST him enough (and that is PAINFUL to a man!) to LET him run anything, YOU TOOK THE REIGNS.. then got pissed that you had the reigns! The emotional "manipulation" he did on you was the ONLY way he ever felt HE had any control at all, any SAY at all... and the only way he found to show you how hurt he was.. was to hurt you back. What a sad, vicious cycle. Men who are allowed to be men do not usually resort to underhanded "paybacks" like that... they WANT to be the best they can for their woman, to cherish her and make her life better.
His jealousy and need to be in the spotlight/center of your universe? THAT would be his proud Leo Moon - all the Aries just makes him SHOW it more than a Pisces (with less Fire) normally would. lol
Sweetie.. unless you WANT to always have to be the Man in the relationship, you will HAVE to learn to relinquish your iron control. There's no two ways about it. Otherwise, you'll be bashing heads with the "manly" men.. and getting bored/turned off by the ones you CAN control -- you won't even find one that can balance it, because YOU can't balance it. But this isn't about the guys.. this is about YOU, the ONLY person you TRULY have ANY control over. You have this NEED to run shit.. but it's not what you really want, and it turns you off.. but you don't know any other way to be. (Ummmm.. Alcoholics in your family? Esp parents? Adult children of alcoholic parents tend to have a deep NEED to control everything they can get ahold of, it's the only way they feel "normal" and "comfortable.") You WON'T find what you really want if you cannot learn to NOT attempt to control your partner, the situation, the relationship, the pace, the mood, the outcome, the everything you keep TRYING TO control, things that CANNOT be controlled.. because "letting go" is SO MUCH MORE SCARY!!
As gently as possible, Gem girl... you totally unmanned him.. chopped him off at the knees.. did not TRUST him enough (and that is PAINFUL to a man!) to LET him run anything, YOU TOOK THE REIGNS.. then got pissed that you had the reigns! The emotional "manipulation" he did on you was the ONLY way he ever felt HE had any control at all, any SAY at all... and the only way he found to show you how hurt he was.. was to hurt you back. What a sad, vicious cycle. Men who are allowed to be men do not usually resort to underhanded "paybacks" like that... they WANT to be the best they can for their woman, to cherish her and make her life better.
Fuck it... You're a waste of time.
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