What does absence really do to the heart?

High time to balance things out here, enough with the problems with Pisces men & women, I want your detailed input on the following age old saying regarding love & distance.

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder"

I know most of us are bleeding heart emotional saps —
This is personal research 🙂

*stickybeaks* am I qualified to answer if I'm a lunar piscean 😢

Sure you can, it's a public topic but I'm too lazy to post on every board and start interacting there.
Have at it moonpie 😉

Posted by Poisson
For people I care about?
Absolutely. It makes the reunion that much sweeter...

For others that I want nothing to do with?
Out of sigh, out of mimd. And stay the F away from me as far as possible. Thx.

I'm not liking it at all right now, not a pleasant feeling.
Can't really focus on anything because the moment my brain gets downtime, it snaps to him.

Posted by Poisson
There's a fine line between pining and obesessing 🙂
Recognize which one it is, then keep your mind busy...

This brain here is working at full capacity and everything gets done SO fast..
I'm throwing everything in the kitchen sink at it to keep it occupied. I even... CLEANED my room, washed the car, studied, walked the dog, laundry, organized stuff, gym, etc

I think what I need is a mental spanking.
I've had verbal & physical, wonder what mental feels like.

You're a pretty woman by the way.

From personal and recent experience I would say for me, Absence makes the heart GO FUCKING MENTAL.

I got way too excited than I should be when you said I could answer *jumps in joy then takes another sip of coffee*

It all depends on the type of connection for me. My first girlfriend (yes another sappy first girlfriend story) we had an amazing connection even now I would say she's the one YEP! And I feel you, for the longest time if my body and brain took a break it would fixate on her, it was almost crippling.

Second girlfriend it was pretty sweet at the start but then I realised her actions were hurting me even if she didn't intend to. After a while I just got over it. Great girl, just not for me sadly. We took a break and I guess the distance didn't make my heart fonder 😛

Third, it was amazing and I felt like everything was there. I guess the timing was off. We were together for two years but for me personally I didn't feel like I was in the right frame of mind and I told her to purse her career over choosing me overseas. Still think about her now but it's more like I'm glad I made the decision for her to go.

So yep I would say I'm inexperienced but my relationships tends to last very long. Although in saying that there's a girl I met recently which I'm absolutely fond of. Both realise now's not the time, distance is neither making it better or worse and it's a new feeling for me, the feeling of knowing she has me and I have her and there's nothing to worry about.

Conclusion? I guess distance is only something I do if it's needed. If there's distance for other reasons then it'll make my heart ache.

Yes and no.

A pisces needs a break and just go into their cave for a bit, but after too much time has passed we will start to swim away and loose our affection for the other person. If it is a friend then yeah we couldn't talk for months and when we see each other pick back up where we left off, but with a significant other or the object of our affection... this will kill it for sure.

It is a fine balancing act, we want to be around you, but we need our space. So kinda like, come here then get the hell away from me so I can swim and decompress then come hither again.

Posted by Theultra79
If it's managed distanced meaning there is an end date to the absence, then I think it makes the heart fonder. If there is no end in sight, then it makes me irritated and resentful.

THIS! Pulling a Houdini act on a mermaid/merman isn't wise.

Well, I guess saying this may make me seem like a bad person, but absence makes me forget. My feelings start to get filed away in storage for when we can each other again. Eventually, if the person texts or calls, I feel as if a friend is talking to me..which means I feel nearly nothing. If the absence is only for a short period of time, maybe a week, then it could perhaps hurt and not get to the stages of forgetting. If I'm not constantly stimulated by different feelings/emotions, they tend to flatline. As for love and like, the person needs to be with me physically for me to really feel something.
About two years ago, I went through constant month or so absences from my then boyfriend all the time, since he was in college. That hurt reallyyyyy bad. After that, I suppose I must have learned to not care as much, so I don't hurt, because I never experienced that kind of pain again. Unconsciously, it feels like my mind is too quick to try to protect itself and put up barriers. My emotional reactions have been out of whack for longer than that, though.

Posted by Poisson
For people I care about?
Absolutely. It makes the reunion that much sweeter...

For others that I want nothing to do with?
Out of sigh, out of mimd. And stay the F away from me as far as possible. Thx.

I very much feel the same as you here.

Sometimes as much as absence can suck with loved ones - it's a good reminder of the feelings of why you choose to have the person in your life - I think.

Oh sense-making... why do you run from me? sigh

Posted by EusiveSoulll

Posted by tbird

Posted by Theultra79
If it's managed distanced meaning there is an end date to the absence, then I think it makes the heart fonder. If there is no end in sight, then it makes me irritated and resentful.

THIS! Pulling a Houdini act on a mermaid/merman isn't wise.

+1

click to expand

Brilliant, thanks 🙂

Well, I guess saying this may make me seem like a bad person, but absence makes me forget. My feelings start to get filed away in storage for when we can each other again. Eventually, if the person texts or calls, I feel as if a friend is talking to me..which means I feel nearly nothing. If the absence is only for a short period of time, maybe a week, then it could perhaps hurt and not get to the stages of forgetting. If I'm not constantly stimulated by different feelings/emotions, they tend to flatline. As for love and like, the person needs to be with me physically for me to really feel something.
About two years ago, I went through constant month or so absences from my then boyfriend all the time, since he was in college. That hurt reallyyyyy bad. After that, I suppose I must have learned to not care as much, so I don't hurt, because I never experienced that kind of pain again. Unconsciously, it feels like my mind is too quick to try to protect itself and put up barriers. My emotional reactions have been out of whack for longer than that, though.



I agree with this 100% . I tend to want to live my life as happy as can be, if your around great, if not then it doesn`t effect me none the less....

I agree with Scenic. Absence does make me forget or at least grow enough of a wall in my life to feel like a certain person doesn't exist anymore. A lot can happen in a persons life over a period of time. The feeling of going backwards for me feels very stressful and not realistic. My feelings don't grow over time they either stay the same or they go away.