pisces79
@pisces79
14 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 36 · Topics: 5
what should do...all the way at the end...
he got the bday gift and didn't even say thank you. (as I am writing this I am starting to see red flags that I guess I missed)
Money started to become an issue on his end??_and the ex drama was getting worse??_I started seeing him do manipulative things to his ex??_and I asked him to stop because its not worth your time, and in the end your only hurting the kids??_
Finally met the kids??_wonderful little boys??_(a little bit of therapy for them) but great kids??_they loved me would ask about me all the time..we just had a great time. Things were on and off good with him??_he wanted me to move down there, and I said lets get through the holidays I want you to meet my family and stuff before I decide to move??_and I was seriously thinking that in time I would be with him and the boys.
Well in the midst of all this??_I found out that the reason why the divorce happened was because he cheated on her??_RED FLAG??_also taking a bunch of depression meds. umm but I was already deep into the relationship with him, so I said well I cant judge that cause here I am in a relationship so I let it go??_I used to go down there..with food for him and kids to eat for the week??_I helped him out with money??_but he fixed my car, and it seemed like he was doing stuff for me..but I am not the type of person who needs —stuff?? I just want respect and love and happiness..so I drove down there much more than he came up here, I really tried to make this thing work.
Anyways??_new years was awesome it was low key but we spent it together, and did little things and went places etc??_
The next weekend he was suppose to come up by me but I ended up having to work so we decided not to bother we had the rest of the month??_
Well that weekend on FB (the death of us all) I notice that on New years eve, he was liking and commenting on this girls photos??_and I was like WTF??_so I calmed down, didn't jump to conclusions, and asked him who this girl was??_and he got really angry at me, I just asked him (in a kind voice) who she was and how I felt kind of insulted that he would comment on this girls photos while I was sitting on the couch with him, and we don't get all that much time as it is together??_he said —it was a friend from his old job, and he thinks its ok to compliment his friends, and I said that's fine??_but I would appreciate it to not be while we are cuddling on the couch??_.
After that convos became less and less??_but still going on cause he
Money started to become an issue on his end??_and the ex drama was getting worse??_I started seeing him do manipulative things to his ex??_and I asked him to stop because its not worth your time, and in the end your only hurting the kids??_
Finally met the kids??_wonderful little boys??_(a little bit of therapy for them) but great kids??_they loved me would ask about me all the time..we just had a great time. Things were on and off good with him??_he wanted me to move down there, and I said lets get through the holidays I want you to meet my family and stuff before I decide to move??_and I was seriously thinking that in time I would be with him and the boys.
Well in the midst of all this??_I found out that the reason why the divorce happened was because he cheated on her??_RED FLAG??_also taking a bunch of depression meds. umm but I was already deep into the relationship with him, so I said well I cant judge that cause here I am in a relationship so I let it go??_I used to go down there..with food for him and kids to eat for the week??_I helped him out with money??_but he fixed my car, and it seemed like he was doing stuff for me..but I am not the type of person who needs —stuff?? I just want respect and love and happiness..so I drove down there much more than he came up here, I really tried to make this thing work.
Anyways??_new years was awesome it was low key but we spent it together, and did little things and went places etc??_
The next weekend he was suppose to come up by me but I ended up having to work so we decided not to bother we had the rest of the month??_
Well that weekend on FB (the death of us all) I notice that on New years eve, he was liking and commenting on this girls photos??_and I was like WTF??_so I calmed down, didn't jump to conclusions, and asked him who this girl was??_and he got really angry at me, I just asked him (in a kind voice) who she was and how I felt kind of insulted that he would comment on this girls photos while I was sitting on the couch with him, and we don't get all that much time as it is together??_he said —it was a friend from his old job, and he thinks its ok to compliment his friends, and I said that's fine??_but I would appreciate it to not be while we are cuddling on the couch??_.
After that convos became less and less??_but still going on cause he
he was bringing his kids up to my place to visit NYC. The night before he left his phone miraculously broke and I never heard from him??_but he ended up bringing his kids up..had a good weekend, until I realized that he was getting texts on a Saturday night..(that never happened) and said some BS story about it and got angry again. He told me that weekend that he wants me to move down there with him, and he told me and the kids we are a family now. He went home that Sunday..
That Monday he got —sick?? and I barely heard from him, I would try and contact him, he said that he had a stomach virus and mainly sleeping??_he would text me when are you moving in??_and I politely said, we will talk about it next weekend face to face..he jumped to the conclusion, that I was never moving, which wasn't the case cause I wrote down some of the things, that was a concern and that we needed to do before I ran down there.. . I asked him, if I was still coming down there this weekend and he said no I don't want to get you sick.
Well I felt bad he was soo sick, so on Saturday morning, I woke up early drove 4.5 hours, bought Lysol, wipes, soup, cleaning supplys, gingerale anything to make him feel better and help him, and just to take care of what I though would be my future husband.. I text him when I was about ?_ hour away (I wanted to be able to sleep in) and I said good morning babe how are you feeling? And his response was I feel a little better but I don't feel like talking maybe later, or tomorrow??_
Stomach dropped at that point gut started oh boy here we go cause I was still going over there..I drove all that way why not??_I rang the doorbell (even though I had a key) and the look on his face was of much anger..( I thought he would be happy that I drove 4.5 hours to go take care of him) I said (as I was shaking) (with all the bags of the grocerys in hand) I looked him in his eyes, and said I came down here to take care of you babe, and help you around the house??_I studdered and said but if you want me to go I will..
Well he looked at me and said I am tired of this, and than started to get really angry with me??_I started crying not hysterically but definatly shaking and tearing up, I asked if I could get my stuff, he helped me get my stuff, and I drove away??_
So confused??_numb??_he started texting me blaming me for things, and pointing fingers, and being soo mean??_he asked if I was still in the area or going home??_I said if you don't
That Monday he got —sick?? and I barely heard from him, I would try and contact him, he said that he had a stomach virus and mainly sleeping??_he would text me when are you moving in??_and I politely said, we will talk about it next weekend face to face..he jumped to the conclusion, that I was never moving, which wasn't the case cause I wrote down some of the things, that was a concern and that we needed to do before I ran down there.. . I asked him, if I was still coming down there this weekend and he said no I don't want to get you sick.
Well I felt bad he was soo sick, so on Saturday morning, I woke up early drove 4.5 hours, bought Lysol, wipes, soup, cleaning supplys, gingerale anything to make him feel better and help him, and just to take care of what I though would be my future husband.. I text him when I was about ?_ hour away (I wanted to be able to sleep in) and I said good morning babe how are you feeling? And his response was I feel a little better but I don't feel like talking maybe later, or tomorrow??_
Stomach dropped at that point gut started oh boy here we go cause I was still going over there..I drove all that way why not??_I rang the doorbell (even though I had a key) and the look on his face was of much anger..( I thought he would be happy that I drove 4.5 hours to go take care of him) I said (as I was shaking) (with all the bags of the grocerys in hand) I looked him in his eyes, and said I came down here to take care of you babe, and help you around the house??_I studdered and said but if you want me to go I will..
Well he looked at me and said I am tired of this, and than started to get really angry with me??_I started crying not hysterically but definatly shaking and tearing up, I asked if I could get my stuff, he helped me get my stuff, and I drove away??_
So confused??_numb??_he started texting me blaming me for things, and pointing fingers, and being soo mean??_he asked if I was still in the area or going home??_I said if you don't
want me in your life, than I am going home??_ so I went home??_didn't contact him nothing he didn't reach out to me..nothing..
So my BF LOL just got engaged..didn't tell her when it happened..because I didn't want to be a downer on her engagement??_well??_she FB him inviting him and the boys to her engagement party and told him how excited she was to meet him??_he blocked her??_(meanwhile he already blocked me as I drove home)
She called me, and said ummm he blocked me whats going on??_so I told her??_and I text him and apologized told him what had happened and he thought it was me up to something??_(which I guess if you look at it that way it probably seemed that way) he said something about maybe in a few months we can rekindle our friendship??_I didn't respond because you sent me home after driving 4.5 hour to take care of you, and he couldn't even talk about what he was so angry at me for and pointing fingers etc??_I was pissed??_
Going on, confused, starting to talk about it more to people, and people started saying no, its not your fault, are you sure he wasn't cheating on you??_I said??_no why would he do that??_he told his boys we were a family and I was suppose to move down there??_a week later still no contact with him??_(although I felt a relief of no stress from everything he used to complain about it) I was still confused??_
Sunday night it clicked??_stomach dropped??_said go on to that girls FB page??_.I did..found pics of his boys, and I had my friend go on to his (half blocked) and hers??_my answer was found??_clearly he was cheating on me!
Blacked out of anger??_calmed down, called him??_no answer..called again.. No answer??_I text him, he said how do you suppose I used you and I am not going to argue with you or talk to you??_so you know how it goes from text vomit starts happening..said some pretty mean things??_but I don't regret one them??_in that text I asked him to send me back the rest of the stuff I forgot by Friday.. Waited til Friday, no stuff..every one of my friends are now furious with him, told me to FB his GF that doesn't know about you, and ask her kindly to send back your stuff??_ didn't want to do that (JUST YET) I sent him everything back including the pictures of him and I he just got framed??_
So my BF LOL just got engaged..didn't tell her when it happened..because I didn't want to be a downer on her engagement??_well??_she FB him inviting him and the boys to her engagement party and told him how excited she was to meet him??_he blocked her??_(meanwhile he already blocked me as I drove home)
She called me, and said ummm he blocked me whats going on??_so I told her??_and I text him and apologized told him what had happened and he thought it was me up to something??_(which I guess if you look at it that way it probably seemed that way) he said something about maybe in a few months we can rekindle our friendship??_I didn't respond because you sent me home after driving 4.5 hour to take care of you, and he couldn't even talk about what he was so angry at me for and pointing fingers etc??_I was pissed??_
Going on, confused, starting to talk about it more to people, and people started saying no, its not your fault, are you sure he wasn't cheating on you??_I said??_no why would he do that??_he told his boys we were a family and I was suppose to move down there??_a week later still no contact with him??_(although I felt a relief of no stress from everything he used to complain about it) I was still confused??_
Sunday night it clicked??_stomach dropped??_said go on to that girls FB page??_.I did..found pics of his boys, and I had my friend go on to his (half blocked) and hers??_my answer was found??_clearly he was cheating on me!
Blacked out of anger??_calmed down, called him??_no answer..called again.. No answer??_I text him, he said how do you suppose I used you and I am not going to argue with you or talk to you??_so you know how it goes from text vomit starts happening..said some pretty mean things??_but I don't regret one them??_in that text I asked him to send me back the rest of the stuff I forgot by Friday.. Waited til Friday, no stuff..every one of my friends are now furious with him, told me to FB his GF that doesn't know about you, and ask her kindly to send back your stuff??_ didn't want to do that (JUST YET) I sent him everything back including the pictures of him and I he just got framed??_
So I text him again, not angerly or anything, please send me and I listed my stuff??_said that he owes me 50 bucks for all stuff I bought him to take care of him??_ by Friday??_ no answer..fine we??ll see what happens..
He finally texts back on Monday after I sent it on Saturday??_ he said I threw out all your stuff, I just have the cooler bags, I will enclose a check for 50 dollars plus what I feel the rest of your stuff is worth. I said thank you, I cant believe you did this to me.. And he said I did nothing to you and I am not arguing and not speaking about this and that's that??_ I said to him that I deserve the respect for you to at least speak with me about this, specially after you tell me how much you love me and you told your kids we are a family. And nothing..whatever??_
So today I sit here??_writing venting this long story to all of you out there??_seeing signs I should have pegged as red flags, etc??_whatever we live, we learn, we move on??_ I read this great article today, and I will continue to heal, and enjoy life??_
Now the big question, got the package today??_he sent me a check for 125 dollars??_(I feel a few different ways about this.) my stuff was not 125 dollars??_
Contacting him is not an option??_not going to do it??_
Should I cash the check and use it for myself..
Or I though about
Cashing the check and sending the money to his father??_to purchase savings bonds for the boys??_(his dad apologized to me for his sons behavior and was so sad to know I am not in his family anymore)
I havent talked to his dad about his yet but I thought that I would send it to him, he can do the savings bonds, and never tell my ex I did it??_
I am just not sure if I feel right about taking the money.
The worst part of getting over this..is realizing through the friend ship, and relationship, everything was just a lie..that's the hardest part??_
I read this article however and it really helped me understand somethings
http://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/overcome-pathological-lies-narcissist-win-divorce-settlement-and-custody-battles/
wow that was really a lot longer than i thought...i am sorry..i feel a little better and thank you
all imput would be helpful.
He finally texts back on Monday after I sent it on Saturday??_ he said I threw out all your stuff, I just have the cooler bags, I will enclose a check for 50 dollars plus what I feel the rest of your stuff is worth. I said thank you, I cant believe you did this to me.. And he said I did nothing to you and I am not arguing and not speaking about this and that's that??_ I said to him that I deserve the respect for you to at least speak with me about this, specially after you tell me how much you love me and you told your kids we are a family. And nothing..whatever??_
So today I sit here??_writing venting this long story to all of you out there??_seeing signs I should have pegged as red flags, etc??_whatever we live, we learn, we move on??_ I read this great article today, and I will continue to heal, and enjoy life??_
Now the big question, got the package today??_he sent me a check for 125 dollars??_(I feel a few different ways about this.) my stuff was not 125 dollars??_
Contacting him is not an option??_not going to do it??_
Should I cash the check and use it for myself..
Or I though about
Cashing the check and sending the money to his father??_to purchase savings bonds for the boys??_(his dad apologized to me for his sons behavior and was so sad to know I am not in his family anymore)
I havent talked to his dad about his yet but I thought that I would send it to him, he can do the savings bonds, and never tell my ex I did it??_
I am just not sure if I feel right about taking the money.
The worst part of getting over this..is realizing through the friend ship, and relationship, everything was just a lie..that's the hardest part??_
I read this article however and it really helped me understand somethings
http://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/overcome-pathological-lies-narcissist-win-divorce-settlement-and-custody-battles/
wow that was really a lot longer than i thought...i am sorry..i feel a little better and thank you
all imput would be helpful.
EusiveSoulll
i don't know his chart...his b day is august 12 1975 what other information do you need?
I am thanking my lucky stars that i am not dealing with this anymore...
but seriously is it too much to ask for a respectful, I dont want to do this anymore,
makes me realize everything is a lie...
I just don't know if I am ok with taking 125 dollars from him. i would rather give it too the kids with out him even knowing. ( i would give it to his father)
Im just torn on whats right...
but buying a nice dress sounds nice!
i would rather his kids have the money when they get older..i dont even care if he or the kids know it is from me.
i am not contacting him ever..ever.. again..i cannot be disrespected like that...and to boot being cheated on.
his
Sun Leo 19.35
Moon Sagittarius 0.10
Mercury Virgo 0.25 R
Venus Libra 4.49
Mars Libra 5.11
Jupiter Cancer 25.11
Saturn Virgo 2.06
Uranus Scorpio 12.32
Neptune Sagittarius 15.37 R
Pluto Libra 14.35
Lilith Cancer 23.05
Asc node Virgo 27.14
mine
Sun Pisces 9.31
Moon Aries 7.23
Mercury Pisces 25.06
Venus Capricorn 26.30
Mars Pisces 0.41
Jupiter Leo 0.01 R
Saturn Virgo 10.37 R
Uranus Scorpio 20.59 R
Neptune Sagittarius 20.22
Pluto Libra 18.51 R
Lilith Leo 15.22
Asc node Virgo 17.35
Sun Leo 19.35
Moon Sagittarius 0.10
Mercury Virgo 0.25 R
Venus Libra 4.49
Mars Libra 5.11
Jupiter Cancer 25.11
Saturn Virgo 2.06
Uranus Scorpio 12.32
Neptune Sagittarius 15.37 R
Pluto Libra 14.35
Lilith Cancer 23.05
Asc node Virgo 27.14
mine
Sun Pisces 9.31
Moon Aries 7.23
Mercury Pisces 25.06
Venus Capricorn 26.30
Mars Pisces 0.41
Jupiter Leo 0.01 R
Saturn Virgo 10.37 R
Uranus Scorpio 20.59 R
Neptune Sagittarius 20.22
Pluto Libra 18.51 R
Lilith Leo 15.22
Asc node Virgo 17.35
Such a beautifully written sad story??_hugs from another heartbroken Pisces. Please do not hide your story when you get over him??_it is very helpful for other people in a similar situation to read it.
Do NOT take money from him. You??ll feel much better dismissing his payout than using those few bucks.You won't be able to wear THAT dress you bought without feeling nauseous.
Whatever you two thought you had for a relationship, it looks very much irreparable broken. Remember the feeling of relief you had when he didn't contact you for a week, before your heartache started? This feeling of relief will come back to you when you let go of him. Even the astrology shows he wasn't a good match for you. You??ll find someone better.
Do NOT take money from him. You??ll feel much better dismissing his payout than using those few bucks.You won't be able to wear THAT dress you bought without feeling nauseous.
Whatever you two thought you had for a relationship, it looks very much irreparable broken. Remember the feeling of relief you had when he didn't contact you for a week, before your heartache started? This feeling of relief will come back to you when you let go of him. Even the astrology shows he wasn't a good match for you. You??ll find someone better.
Thank you everyone, this is the first time I have ever had this much hate or discust towards someone, that its difficult to deal with at times.
I don't want to make any rash or stupid decisions, that's why I'm not sure what to do with the money. I needed advice from people who doesn't want to punch him in his face 🙂
I'm thankful I found out now, rather than after I move, and if I didn't drive down to his house he could potentially be still playing both of us!!! Ugh
I don't want to make any rash or stupid decisions, that's why I'm not sure what to do with the money. I needed advice from people who doesn't want to punch him in his face 🙂
I'm thankful I found out now, rather than after I move, and if I didn't drive down to his house he could potentially be still playing both of us!!! Ugh
Posted by pisces79
Well in the midst of all this??_I found out that the reason why the divorce happened was because he cheated on her??_RED FLAG??_
You're an idiot for any relating pains that happened after this point. And if you suffered any emotional pains after this point, then you deserved it for being stupid.
Posted by pisces79
umm but I was already deep into the relationship with him, so I said well I cant judge that cause here I am in a relationship so I let it go??_
click to expand
I don't feel sorry for you, and refuse to be like the rest here and tell you it's ok .. because it's not.
You knew before you ever got this deep that he's a cheater .. and you chose to be ignorant.
Lay in your bed .. you made it, you deserve the pain. Perhaps, you might want to grow the fuck up and realize that you're a fuck up. If you choose to ignore that this is your fault, and refuse to own this ... then you'll always be a fuck up.
Working things out between Mercury in Virgo and Mercury in Pisces has got to be a serious project...
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He is a divorced father of 2...with more baggage than he led on too in the beginning??_
We met through work, and it was a LDR.
It all start a couple of years ago??_he was a client of mine??_only talking on the phone business like and a few personal things here and there??_I was dating someone and he was still married, but not sleeping with her..going through the end of the marriage.
Early last year we started talking more frequently, started with cell phone texts and phone calls every once in a while??_etc??_his wife (at the time) decided to up and move and never told him??_so he text me and asked to talk??_I did talk listen and support etc??_I was in the middle of a break up at that time too.
More and more a couple of months, we started to have interest in each other??_ but I was hesitant because of the distance (just got out of a LDR) and I know it takes a lot of work??_he wanted to go through with it??_he had the boys every other weekend, which allowed us to do an every other weekend thing for a bit. (even though he wanted to see me every week??_ promised that if anything were to happen he would drive up to me and take care of it face to face) whatever??_anyways
We pursued the relationship, met, had a great time??_and continued to work through the relationship??_
Our first date??_he told me he loved me and never wanted to lose me. He even sent me flowers to my job with a card that said I love you soo much??_and some other clever phrase that I was impressed with.
he expressed how he didn't want me to meet the boys til he (we) knew that I wasn't going to run out of his life.. I respected that 100% and didn't want to hurt the kids??_so a few months went by, and the EX baggage started to get really tough on me??_it was every day and night he would just complain about her and complain it just was never ending??_it was even ruining our amazing weekends together. We talked through it though??_
So when his bday came around he had the kids that weekend..so I couldn't see him??_well he was expecting me to come surprise him for the weekend??_and he was soo mad that I didn't??_but I explained that I am not going to be disrespectful, and meet your kids with out us discussing it. ( I already sent him a bday package to his job for that Monday mo