claro
@clare
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Empathic narcissism, it's a thing ..
This video explains the concept of performative empathy in narcissism:
Key Characteristics
Strategic Empathy: They recognize emotions to better manipulate situations, often displaying "perfect" or "too good to be true" empathy to gain trust.
Performative Kindness: Can perform kind acts for an audience or to build a "manipulation bank," using past good deeds to justify later harmful behavior.
Inconsistent Support: May show empathy in public or for strangers (macro-empathy) but neglect those close to them, or "turn off" their empathy when it's inconvenient.
Lack of Genuine Care: While they might understand feelings, they don't truly share or prioritize them; their actions are self-serving, not altruistic.
Cognitive vs. Emotional Empathy: They often possess cognitive empathy (understanding) but lack emotional empathy (feeling with someone), or they choose not to act on it.
Strategic Empathy: They recognize emotions to better manipulate situations, often displaying "perfect" or "too good to be true" empathy to gain trust.
Performative Kindness: Can perform kind acts for an audience or to build a "manipulation bank," using past good deeds to justify later harmful behavior.
Inconsistent Support: May show empathy in public or for strangers (macro-empathy) but neglect those close to them, or "turn off" their empathy when it's inconvenient.
Lack of Genuine Care: While they might understand feelings, they don't truly share or prioritize them; their actions are self-serving, not altruistic.
Cognitive vs. Emotional Empathy: They often possess cognitive empathy (understanding) but lack emotional empathy (feeling with someone), or they choose not to act on it.
Posted by clare
Key Characteristics
Strategic Empathy: They recognize emotions to better manipulate situations, often displaying "perfect" or "too good to be true" empathy to gain trust.
Performative Kindness: Can perform kind acts for an audience or to build a "manipulation bank," using past good deeds to justify later harmful behavior.
Inconsistent Support: May show empathy in public or for strangers (macro-empathy) but neglect those close to them, or "turn off" their empathy when it's inconvenient.
Lack of Genuine Care: While they might understand feelings, they don't truly share or prioritize them; their actions are self-serving, not altruistic.
Cognitive vs. Emotional Empathy: They often possess cognitive empathy (understanding) but lack emotional empathy (feeling with someone), or they choose not to act on it.
Cannot emphasize the "performative" part enough!
Here's an article for further reading:
https://www.theedgetreatment.com/empathetic-narcissism-definition-traits-and-coping-strategies/
'Cognitive' empathy is not genuine empathy or compassion.
https://www.theedgetreatment.com/empathetic-narcissism-definition-traits-and-coping-strategies/
'Cognitive' empathy is not genuine empathy or compassion.
That was 100% me for a long time. The crazy part is it was mostly subconscious. I never woke up thinking "I'm going to fuck people up today." But in moments I felt wronged and deceived I would start subconsciously manipulating people. Sometimes it would even branch out to people who were innocent, because I'd bottle up past trauma.
Once I was aware I was extreamly good at understanding then manipulating my environment on an emotional level, I started to control myself and word things with caution. Naturally I'm like that even when I dont realize it so its important for me to be fully self aware when speaking to people.
Once I was aware I was extreamly good at understanding then manipulating my environment on an emotional level, I started to control myself and word things with caution. Naturally I'm like that even when I dont realize it so its important for me to be fully self aware when speaking to people.
I think thereās a correlation between this and self-proclaimed āempathsā who donāt actually empathize with others, but rather interpret others reality through their own distorted lense.
Example: If I told them I was fired from my job as retaliation, instead of ASKING if Iām okay / how Iām doing or even responding from a place of understanding my temperament, they instead respond with how they would feel if this happened to them. Responses like āIām heartbroken for youā or āthat just makes me so mad for youā, when Iām over here feeling like being fired was the best thing to happen to me.
I imagine itās the same concept with āempathetic narcissistsā. They donāt actually empathize with what you feel, they just perform the emotions they imagine they would feel in your shoes.
Example: If I told them I was fired from my job as retaliation, instead of ASKING if Iām okay / how Iām doing or even responding from a place of understanding my temperament, they instead respond with how they would feel if this happened to them. Responses like āIām heartbroken for youā or āthat just makes me so mad for youā, when Iām over here feeling like being fired was the best thing to happen to me.
I imagine itās the same concept with āempathetic narcissistsā. They donāt actually empathize with what you feel, they just perform the emotions they imagine they would feel in your shoes.
Posted by Soul
That was 100% me for a long time. The crazy part is it was mostly subconscious. I never woke up thinking "I'm going to fuck people up today." But in moments I felt wronged and deceived I would start subconsciously manipulating people. Sometimes it would even branch out to people who were innocent, because I'd bottle up past trauma.
Once I was aware I was extreamly good at understanding then manipulating my environment on an emotional level, I started to control myself and word things with caution. Naturally I'm like that even when I dont realize it so its important for me to be fully self aware when speaking to people.
Seriously, I like you for being so open and honest.
Becoming conscious and adjusting through consciousness is honourable, in my opinion.
Posted by Whorpio
I think thereās a correlation between this and self-proclaimed āempathsā who donāt actually empathize with others, but rather interpret others reality through their own distorted lense.
Example: If I told them I was fired from my job as retaliation, instead of ASKING if Iām okay / how Iām doing, they instead assume they know how I feel and make comments like āIām heartbroken for youā or āthat just makes me so mad for youā, when Iām over here feeling like being fired was the best thing to happen to me.
I imagine itās the same concept with āempathetic narcissistsā. They donāt actually empathize with what you feel, they just perform the emotions they imagine they would feel in your shoes.
Yeah they're not including you at all in their narrative, just how they imagine they would feel. This isn't empathy or compassion, it's just that you're an extra in their storyline that they're the main character in, even though you've just opened up to them.
Posted by clare
Well, I never knew this was really a thing until now, as I stumbled upon this whilst researching.
Empathetic narcissism describes individuals with narcissistic traits who can understand others' emotions (cognitive empathy) but often use this understanding manipulatively, rather than genuinely caring, focusing on self-interest. They might appear compassionate, even crying at movies, but their actions stem from a desire to control, gain admiration, or serve their own needs, creating a confusing dynamic where they seem caring but ultimately lack deep emotional connection or consistent support, a phenomenon sometimes called "pseudompathy".
Oh everyone does this. A common example would be virtue signalling.
Or men who call themselves feminists online and then you find out they SA ed a lot of women.
Posted by clare
Well, I never knew this was really a thing until now, as I stumbled upon this whilst researching.
Empathetic narcissism describes individuals with narcissistic traits who can understand others' emotions (cognitive empathy) but often use this understanding manipulatively, rather than genuinely caring, focusing on self-interest. They might appear compassionate, even crying at movies, but their actions stem from a desire to control, gain admiration, or serve their own needs, creating a confusing dynamic where they seem caring but ultimately lack deep emotional connection or consistent support, a phenomenon sometimes called "pseudompathy".
Oh everyone does this. A common example would be virtue signalling.
Or men who call themselves feminists online and then you find out they SA ed a lot of women.
Posted by TextosmoonPosted by clare
Well, I never knew this was really a thing until now, as I stumbled upon this whilst researching.
Empathetic narcissism describes individuals with narcissistic traits who can understand others' emotions (cognitive empathy) but often use this understanding manipulatively, rather than genuinely caring, focusing on self-interest. They might appear compassionate, even crying at movies, but their actions stem from a desire to control, gain admiration, or serve their own needs, creating a confusing dynamic where they seem caring but ultimately lack deep emotional connection or consistent support, a phenomenon sometimes called "pseudompathy".
Oh everyone does this. A common example would be virtue signalling.
Or men who call themselves feminists online and then you find out they SA ed a lot of women.
click to expand
Thats exactly what this is - virtue signaling.
This is everyday life in modern America, unfortunately.
yeah, "performative" is perfect
these guys are really good at using that to craft public images so well that they'll have everyone else convinced of their goodness and generosity.
their closest intimates, esp. family members, usually describe them differently tho. when they're being honest that is.
these guys are really good at using that to craft public images so well that they'll have everyone else convinced of their goodness and generosity.
their closest intimates, esp. family members, usually describe them differently tho. when they're being honest that is.
heh. at this point there's probably no discussion on narcissism where Dr Ramani's voice wouldn't be recognized and respected. her knowledge of it is very intimate, very extensive. plus, she has such a motherly vibe.
tho i find her solutions to be too focused on damage-control and avoidance but maybe that's what appeals to her clientele. or it could just be her own person.
tho i find her solutions to be too focused on damage-control and avoidance but maybe that's what appeals to her clientele. or it could just be her own person.
Posted by clare
Here's an article for further reading:
https://www.theedgetreatment.com/empathetic-narcissism-definition-traits-and-coping-strategies/</a>
'Cognitive' empathy is not genuine empathy or compassion.
don't judge cognitive empathy that way just because of how some people use it.
we can still show compassion to others without sharing their feelings of hurt.
Posted by SadHatterPosted by TextosmoonPosted by clare
Well, I never knew this was really a thing until now, as I stumbled upon this whilst researching.
Empathetic narcissism describes individuals with narcissistic traits who can understand others' emotions (cognitive empathy) but often use this understanding manipulatively, rather than genuinely caring, focusing on self-interest. They might appear compassionate, even crying at movies, but their actions stem from a desire to control, gain admiration, or serve their own needs, creating a confusing dynamic where they seem caring but ultimately lack deep emotional connection or consistent support, a phenomenon sometimes called "pseudompathy".
Oh everyone does this. A common example would be virtue signalling.
Or men who call themselves feminists online and then you find out they SA ed a lot of women.
click to expand
Thats exactly what this is - virtue signaling.
This is everyday life in modern America, unfortunately.
yeah ...it usually backfires tho..
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