A Big Step

I want to start off by saying I downgraded my status with my taurus guy down to FWB again. Long story, no drama, and we're still doing awesome!

I dg'd on easter evening and it's been better than ever actually. We keep getting closer and, while he agrees that my decision was right, I feel like we're headed in the opposite direction.


I spent the night with him this past sunday, and while we cooked dinner together, i started expressing my concern over a friend possibly ending up homeless. Taurus interjected saying that my friend could probably stay if it was ok with his roomie. Before I could respond he went on to suggest that I move in. When he said it, he said it very carefully. I remember at the time he was slicing bread and I also recall that as he verbalized it he slowed way down, and he tried to gauge my reaction through the corner of his eye. I got the impression that he'd been toying with the idea for some time but wasn't sure how or when to bring it up.

Had he brought it up more casually, and in a less serious tone, I wouldn't be overanalyzing this. He's offered to a good friend of his before and it was all light-hearted. Same when concerning my near homeless friend. With me, however, he approached it as a more calculated, strategic step.

I get the feeling that he doesn't offer to share his living space with just any woman he's sleeping with. I get it. There's more at stake with intimacy but I wonder how he could not feel it would make us appear as more of a couple. I know I would end up feeling that way. Also, it's only a 2 bedroom house. He has a roomie. That means we would be occupying the same room, and bed, as well. Almost every night. Yeah.

i know you said it's a long story but why did you chose to downgrade? also, are you contemplating moving in or don't want to at all and not sure how to tell him?

basically, i downgraded because i discovered even more about myself. my needs, wants, etc. the dynamics never really changed and we discovered that we ultimately wanted different things when it came to an established, full-on relationship. for him there's no defined boundary and for me there is. so i decided that we should call it what it really is, and always has been, which is fwb. it kinda sucks cuz we both want it to be more but that's a major disagreement between us keeping us from indulging in it. he's a taurus & i'm a leo. both fixed signs! whaddaya gonna do, eh? ha!

so, the truth is, i would LOVE to move in with him! i practically do a couple days/week and we make highly compatible roomies. we're both very much at home together there. we cook, clean, shower, and even entertain together. his roomie has a bf so she's at his place about half the time. however, i'm hesitant cuz i know i would feel like we were a couple again. even moreso in a living arrangement. (continued)

i don't see how he couldn't reach that same conclusion. it would be totally different if i had my own room but it's implied that i'd be living and sleeping with him. i don't see how it could work out if we have other lovers as well. i guess we could go to their place?
part of me feels like this is a way to hold on to the security of keeping me firmly in place in his life. when i initiated the downgrade he was obviously disturbed by it. he kinda freaked out in a subtle way. he kept asking me if i was gonna ''phase him out'' after i found a partner that fit me better. so, if we lived together, & even if i did find the proverbial mr. right-for-me, he wouldn't have to worry about completely losing me or disappearing on him. that's just my take on it. it'd be cool to have a male's opinion on it though all are welcome!

Posted by * Tasha *


-- LMAO at this. i remember one time someone said they got stood up and the guy said b/c he was "baking bread" hahahaha wtf.

idk made it laugh sorry

LMAO! this just made my day.

@ buttercup: yeah, ur right. i know. thank u for commending me. however, i am also human that falls prey to the suffering of the human condition. in other words... i'm a love-struck fool. my common sense enabled me to make the dg decision but it doesn't stop me from loving any less. still, i know better. i suppose the logical part says ''yes'' cuz it would be highly economical for me. it's a house, costs of living would be way down, and he lives much closer to my work whereas i am commuting now. not to mention the compatible roomie part plus regular sex more often. that sex part really makes it tough. ha!
all in all, i seriously doubt i will. i think what i really want to discover is why HE wants me to. i know he wants me closer but living together is a whole other scenario. it would only be a sacrifice for him and beneficial to me. except for the sex thing. still, he would lose some of his freedom in a round-about way per his choice. that's what baffles me. why? it's out of character for him. heh.