Can anyone help me with Libra Male...

Ive been dating Libra Male for 4 months im a Taurus. The thing is we have been getting on well hes very romantic and sweet to me. Valentines Day he took me to really nice place and bought me expensive chocolates. I thought this meant he thought alot of me.. I get very confused tho as i feel something is missing... I dont feel like hes really into me and usually men are if ive been with them for 4 months. I was due to meet up with him Thursday last week. I was making him dinner i thought ill give him a call wednesday nite to check if he likes what im going to make. He sounded so disinterested on the phone.. i was shocked hes never like that... he told me he was having two conversations one with his dad on msn.. he put me on loudspeaker and when i asked why he said his hand hurt holding the phone.. when i asked him about whether he liked what i was making for dinner he replied yeah, whatever, im easy.. and lastly he asked what time i was coming round tomorrow when i said can you pick me up on your way home he said pick you up... oh... ok. We said goodbye see you tomorrow etc.. but the next day i was so annoyed how he spoke to me i said shall we leave tonight thought you were rude to me and you didnt seem bothered about dinner. He replied up to you... I rang him a couple of hours later left a message then he rang me back left a message and when i called him back. He has not called me back— I dont get it... whats his problem... is he annoyed, finished with me what... i havent chased him either... please help people who know about libras is this the dissappearing thing.. will he come back... xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Do you really want a man who treats you like that to come back?

HI P Angel thanks for replying.. I know what your saying but this is the first time hes carried on like this.. Hes treated me with complete respect and always calls and texts me.. Im not sure if hes being stubborn or punishing me because i said do you think we shouldnt meet up tonight cos you were rude.. When reading these posts i understand that alot of girls say libra men do this dissappearing thing.. so i was thinking maybe he was doing that... Do you have any experience with Libra men x

He probably didn't like that you pointed out his rudeness and he's off sulking about it. They are sensitive creatures but not exactly emotional. They think more then they feel. So let him contact YOU. This way you will know if he really cares about you, if so, he won't let so much time go by. If he doesn't........well, then you know he isn't that into you right?

Like P-Angel said "do you really want a guy who treats you like that to come back?". If he came back and apologized ......that's different. But when they know they've been rude and they don't come back or apologize don't keep giving your heart away or they'll take it all and leave you with little to nothing. Good luck !

Yes, Michele .. I have a Libra ex ... however, I don't believe this has anything to do with sun signs, rather, just human emotions.

He has been really sweet, giving and romantic for the months you've been dating ...

You were feeling really good on Wed night about providing a fabuluous dinner for him on Thurs, and so wanted to talk to him on the phone to relish in this wonderful feeling with him.

He was busy with his father .. who knows what was going on with his father and him. Perhaps, they were hashing out an issue, who knows? But, what is certain is that he was in a bad mood .. being human, we all at some point are in a bad mood.

His actions and behaviour BEFORE this episode has been more than proof that he is considerate and caring ... this should be taken into account.

Because you were extremely happy and he was irritated (for whatever reason) .. your two moods clashed, and you felt insulted for his rudeness that probably wasn't even intended on his part to happen.

He was upset, ALREADY .. he answered the phone upset. You have to take this into account and not let it upset you. He is human just like everyone else ... and lights should have been flashing, horns honking on your part the moment he picked up the phone and you sensed his mood was NOT GOOD.

Here's a question you have to ask yourself .... if your mood was different at this moment (instead of extreme glee with yourself), and were in a serious mood ... would have then been able to pick up on the fact that he was in a bad mood and needed some space, rather than being put on the spot to respond within the same mood as you?


My response here isn't about whether you did anything wrong, or if he did anything wrong .. because I don't believe that either of you screwed up in anyway ... rather, not taking into consideration that both of you were on a different level of emotions according to circumstances.

Again .. this sounds like it's all about two people being in a completely different emotional state, without any understanding on both sides that moods were different .... and had an expectation for each other to respond according to your own moods.

You expected him to share your glee ...... he was unhappy, already.

This is a quite common human condition, in which we all suffer hurt feelings with at some point. We have to look at the other persons mood and adjust accordingly.

Look at this from the other perspective (his) ...

Maybe he thought you were rude to him ....


Here he was, had already told you he was trying to talk to his father at that moment .. and you were trying to divert his attention to get him to talk to you about this wonderful deed you were doing for him. Which in reality ... you calling him wasn't really for his benefit, rather your own because you wanted him to "see" this wonderful deed you were doing for him .. so, there was an expectation on your part to recieve some kind of praise from him because you were feeling good about yourself.

Certainly, there's nothing wrong with wanting to feel good about yourself .. however, at that moment .. he was busy, he was involved with something else, and even told you that.

Instead of giving him privacy at this particular moment, you attempted to hold him to conversing about this wonderful gift of a fabuluous dinner = his irritation growing.

From his perspective .. it's possible that he thought you were being rude to him by NOT backing off and giving him space to have a discussion with his father.

So, you see ... this is simply a lack of understanding on both your parts. The correct reaction you both should have had was for him to explain to you that this wasn't a good time and respectfully got off the phone with you .. you should have understood his need to talk to his father, bowed-out and said, "Good night", and leave him with his personal space.

I can tell you that I would feel that way ... if I were having a personal conversation with my parent, and told another person this who called me, and they didn't end the phone conversation so I could continue discussing the issue with my parent .... I would think that the person on the phone was being rude to me, and not respecting my personal space.

So, instead of being upset with him ... and he with you .. perhaps, you two should both try to come to an understanding that two people in a relationship CANNOT always coincide with feelings, and comprehend that because the other isn't on the same level of emotions .. that it isn't an insult, or attack, or betrayal .. it's simply being human.

I think your misreading me P Angel. I actually called him to check if he would like the sauce i was thinking of making to go with the pasta. and yes i felt happy to call him because of the lovely weekend we had. Did not expect that kick in the tooth!! I text him before hand and asked whether i could call he said yeah fine. When he told me he was speaking to his dad on msn i said speak to your dad ill call you back tomorrow or something he said nah hes talking rubbish and its pretty much finished now. How you etc.. I even tried to get off the phone when he put me on loudspeaker cos i couldnt hear him but then he picked up the phone properly and carried on talking.

I completely agree with Temple of Jaguar. I dont think he liked me pointing out his rudeness.

But P Angel why should i have to put up with that after 4 months?? Isnt this the time hes supposed to get excited about me.. He was rude and i had no intention of doing anything for someone treating me like that. But i dont know what hes doing now..

Mystic Atlantist:- im not smothering or questioning him i never do even tho im a taurus. I used to when i was younger but he has been coming to me the whole time treating me well. The only thing i question is why treat me like that xx

"he has been coming to me the whole time treating me well. The only thing i question is why treat me like that"


I already told you .. he was in a bad mood, like every other human on this planet who responds differently when thier irritated.

If you refuse to take it into consideration, while having the awareness that by his treatment of you before this .. then sobeit, it is what it is.

If you had said he was treating you badly, rudely the whole time, instead of saying that he was sweet and kind and loving to you, then .. yes .. he would definitely have an issue with his treatment of girlfriends and being rude.

However, that's NOT the case .. he's been a good boyfriend.

Why is it so difficult to accept that he was in a foul mood, and it wasn't anything against you? Just like when your PMS'ing and in a bitchy mood .. it's nothing against him?

Be real .. or be tormented .. it is what it is.

Thanks P Angel. I understand what your saying. Maybe its cos im not used to him being in a mood with me. So do you know what i should do now... I called him after he said up to about tonight left a message, he returned my call and left a message and then i called him back he missed the call.. that was last Thursday nothing since.. im hoping you dont think i should chase him do you? Why not just call me back if hes being human and its nothing to do with me... xx

"im hoping you dont think i should chase him do you? "

Chasing a partner (or potential) isn't within my acknowledgement of treatment to somebody who is heart-felt. To chase, suggests that there's a desire to gain or give attention for the sake of recieving an expected response, rather than giving freely from the heart what is felt.

In other words .. in your position, if I contacted him, the intentions would be to relate to him what I feel, think, to hear what he feels, thinks ... rather than viewing it as a game to play catch.


"Why not just call me back if hes being human and its nothing to do with me"

Because now it does have to do with you, because you responded within a reactionary mood of resentment ... so, now he's irritated with you too.


Listen .. this can all be resolved. Just text him, and explain to him that you over-reacted, and you understand that his mood was in a different place than yours .. and that you want to fix whatever happened because you truly care about him.

It doesn't HAVE to be this big, huge episode .. it's just a mis-understanding.

She over reacted?? Puh-leez.....maybe HE should apologize for being short with her? I'm sorry I don't see how she is at fault.

And should she be thrilled when he eventually gets around to calling her that he didn't have enough consideration to make any contact with her for a week now? YES this is typical Libra behavior. They see nothing wrong in being rude when they go off to do .........whatever. Yet, if you dismiss them in this way it's not acceptable. But then again, most people don't treat other people this way.

Most men and even women act with good behavior and manners in the beginning of a relationship. You've only known each other 4 months. Well, now you get to see the REAL side of him. He is actually feeling comfortable enough to do this with you because he already knows how you feel. You're very into him. So he is confident he can do this vanishing thing and when he pops back up he'll use all his Libra charm to make you so happy to see him again you forget how bad his rudeness made you feel while he was gone.

This is a constant theme and pattern with Libra's. Go read thread after thread of this same scenario on the Libra board. P-Angel you can make some valid points about human behavior but that isn't the issue.

I stand by my original statement and I think he owes her an apology.

By over-reacting Temple .. I refer to this ...



templeofjaguar 2/27/2008 6:21:31 AM | ip: xxx.xxx.xxx.12E

He probably didn't like that you pointed out his rudeness

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:: sighs ::


Of course ... just stand your ground, allowing resentful/miserable emotions wracked you to being upset .. instead of just accepting that there was a screw up .. that would be the most understanding thing to do.

btw, temple .. I said they both messed up because of a mis-understanding.


However, you have to do what you believe you have to do .. my only hope is that you attempt to communicate without any more mis-understandings, rather than putting blame on his sun sign so then there is an excuse, rather than trying to actually fix the situation.

Good Day Ladies 🙂

Temple ... I lived with, while deeply in love with a Libran man for three years, so I don't need to read complaints from other people, rather drawn upon my own experiences.

And I can tell you michele .. I never experienced what you have described in here because I allowed him to express emotions without resentment .. just as he allowed me to express mine without holding some kind of grudge, nor did we await vindication from either so we could be right.

Instead .. acceptance .... because we loved each other and would rather agree to disagree than be estranged over something so trivial, as expressions of rudeness, and accusations of rudeness ... when it all boiled down to not considering that each other had a different mood base according to circumstances.

But, I know, I already know .... it's easier to fight because it makes you feel right, then it is to forgive because then it's too vulnerable.

Why would you make an accusation like that P-Angel to say that it is *****easier to fight because it makes you feel right*****? Nothing remotely was suggested in doing as such.

Neither of us are "fighting" with you or with him over his rudeness. There is a HUGE difference between being treated badly and allowing someone to treat you like a doormat and be "accepting" of his rudeness as you advise.

As you point out, you are in a committed and LOVING relationship where you both have a great deal of understanding and respect that has melded over a greater period of time. You can NOT apply that standard to this situation and assume that all is well and good if she just allows for his bad behavior to be acceptable to her.

Additionally, your comment *****allowing resentful/miserable emotions wracked you to being upset .. instead of just accepting that there was a screw up .. that would be the most understanding thing to do.****** She's known the guy 4 months and if you condone this kind of behavior as an outsider or more importantly as the person involved...then you should expect more of the same down the road.

*****But, I know, I already know .... it's easier to fight because it makes you feel right, then it is to forgive because then it's too vulnerable.****** Again, who said anything about fighting with him? Or acting vindictive? Or being unforgiving? His behavior/actions were/are rude. Period. It is NOT acceptable nor is it ever good advise to tell someone that it is.

So as a each day passes that he doesn't call her or make himself available for her to "discuss" the issue it just demonstrates HIS lack of consideration towards her and should be noted for what it is. Rudeness! Plain and simple.

I would not text the guy and take responsibility for HIS rudeness by saying "sorry I over reacted". That is ridiculous !!!

If he truly cared he would have called by now to talk with her. If he truly cared he would have not been distant with her. If he truly cared.......he wouldn't be rude to her. If he truly cared he would be trying to resolve whatever irritation he has going on so it would not go on.

More importantly has he distanced himself like this before? If not then there is something MORE going on. That's what she needs to find out because it is not just affecting her.......it is affecting the relationship she has invested in. If he is just off sulking because he KNOWS he was rude.......then eventually he will pop back up and pro

....and probably will apologize.

templeofjaguar 2/27/2008 6:27:07 PM | ip: xxx.xxx.xxx.12E

private message
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Why would you make an accusation like that P-Angel to say that it is *****easier to fight because it makes you feel right*****? Nothing remotely was suggested in doing as such.

--------------------------------------

:: shakes head ::


I'm not talking about fighting with me .. I'm talking about this lady and her boyfriend.

Instead of trying to come to an understanding that it was just a misunderstanding because thier feelings were on a different level at that particular time .. it's easier to just fight about it. Sit in different corners, sulking, waiting for the other to apologize so they each can be right.

"Listen .. this can all be resolved. Just text him, and explain to him that you over-reacted, and you understand that his mood was in a different place than yours .. and that you want to fix whatever happened because you truly care about him."


We just come from a different mind-set, is all. To you, this is grounds to make a stand, don't budge, make him crawl back .. because it's unacceptable to you that a person makes a mistake and has to be held accountible to it.

My mind doesn't work this way. What I see is that he was rude because he was irritated .. which yes, he shouldn't have been rude. However, I also see that she has called-him out on it using a guilt-trip, something to the effect of .. "well, maybe we shouldn't do it since you were rude".

To me .. they were both wrong in how they handled theirselves. Was he right for being rude? No !! And she wasn't any more right to use a guilt-trip as a weapon to hurt his feelings either.

My proposal to her isn't to go back grovelling, as it appears you have interpretated my words .. rather, one of the two has to be adult enough to approach this situation, rather then sit back and just let the upset fester.

Doesn't matter who started it .. it doesn't matter who was the worse, or said the worse thing, or did the worse thing ... what matters is that if you love somebody and you want to find peace .. then approach this situation.

She did over-react ... she used a weapon of guilt-tripping against him in retaliation. And my words above in that quote are saying for her to approach him about it with intentions of fixing the problem.

As it is now .... she's just sitting back upset because in her mind, and your mind, apparantly .. somebody has to be right and somebody has to be wrong.

Nobody has to be right or wrong .... they just need to resolve the issue.

Think about this .... if she sits back for who knows how long, waiting for him to take action, then by the time he does contact her .. this pain of feeling insulted will continue, or she'll then be resentful that it took him so long.

"About time you owned up"
"What, it took you a month to decide that you wanted to see me again.'
"You were rude"

Alls that does is create more problems because the anger of it was allowed to fester ... resolve the issue. By not having a desire to resolve it only means that she wants to be right.

Where is all your intensity about him doing this to her coming from?
You did mention all the complaints going on on the Libra board, if I ventured over there .. would I find you holding resentment towards a Libra and this is where it's coming from?

"More importantly has he distanced himself like this before? If not then there is something MORE going on. That's what she needs to find out because it is not just affecting her.......it is affecting the relationship she has invested in. If he is just off sulking because he KNOWS he was rude"


Listen to how here and in the first post, you said he's off sulking somewhere .. that sounds like your pain coming out because you really don't know that he's off sulking anywhere. You don't know that there is more going on and that's the reason for his distance.

On the Pisces board you told imf this very same thing .. if she was upset about a Pisces man, then that has nothing to do with a Pisces, it has to do with her on there taking this anguish out on another Pisces.

**calm down

In your quote above, you have said that she needs to find out what is going on, and this is true .. that's why I've told her to approach the issue like an adult. When approaching an issue with the intentions of resolution, it has to be done with a forgiving tone, not an accusing one. To approach it with a forgiving tone, then what has to be said is that it's understood that both parties were out-of-line .. in my words to her in the text, it says to address his mood, as well as her over-reaction, with the desire of having to fix the problem.

Truly, I don't see why this is unacceptable to you Temple .. do you propose, by her finding out what's going on, is by perpetuating the situation even higher by throwing more guilt-trips around?

A successful relationship with a Libra can't be handled that way .. and if it is handled with emotions out of control .. then it will fail.

Yeah, I did go look on the Libra board .. and it is apparant that there are extremely hard feelings between you, Temple and a Libra man in which you've projected your hard-feelings and pain your man caused you into this situation.


:: shakes head ::

Thanks so much Temple of Jaguar and P Angel!!

Im 28 in May. Ive been in a couple of serious relationships and always seem to be seeing someone when im single. During this time i have never felt like any of these men i want to marry. Libra Male actually met me when i was 20 we went on one date and i wasnt interested. We have been friendly with eachother since always talk when see eachother etc. We happend to swap numbers one nite and then he started pursuing me from there. At first i wasnt sure, it took maybe two months for me to realise i did really like him. Its a very real realtionship if you know what i mean its not all in my head with me being infactuated.

Hes never spoken to me that way before it came across cocky more than anything. Ive seen small parts of this in him already and i pull him up straight away. In the beginning it was easier to avoid him or ignore his texts if he was cocky with me, hed wouldnt think of dissappearing because he wasnt so sure about how i felt.

There is no way i overreacted. Im sorry P Angel but i immediately sensed his cockiness from the beginning of the conversation and his indifference with my diner and picking me and holding the phone— was proof.

P Angel if Libra is as inocent as you seem to think he would have called me back.
When i text him told him shall we leave it you were rude. He replied up to you. I then called him and left a message. He then called me back and left a message. So why after calling me back would he ignore my second call. Playing games springs to mind! I refuse to chase after any man been there done that. You can chase them forever and get what you want for a little while but in the end a Man will always do what he wants and go for what he wants. When he left a message and i called him back his phone was off!! It was only 15 mins later.. Im not a silly girl. I reakon he thinks to himself she can phone me again.

But i think if he genuinely cares for me and if i meant anything to him he would contact me. A week it has been today. If i dont hear tonight i guess hes not bothered which is so strange judging how hes been.

You make me feel alot stronger Temple of Jaguar thank you. I was so upset last nite and when i read what you had to say it made me think yes i am right its not acceptable.

Libra went out with a girl for 4 years, she was laid back and let him away with alot. My friends cousin goes out with Libras mate and knew the girl and she told me. He cheated on her, d

Libra went out with a girl for 4 years, she was laid back and let him away with alot. My friends cousin goes out with Libras mate and knew the girl and she told me. He cheated on her, dissappeared im guessing and ignored her calls. He said to me she used to call him loads and sometimes he would just turn his phone off. He said she used to nag all the time she didnt see him enough etc... Now that girl was with him for 4 years so im sure i too could do that if I make excuses for his unacceptable behaviour and allow it to happen.

I dont want to do that and where did it get that girl end up happily married with a devoted husband nope.

The one thing ive learnt is if theres NO RESPECT ....

I think he may be used to girls running after him listening to him say stuff and maybe assumes this behaviour when he thinks hes got her and maybe these women do exactly what your suggesting i do P Angel. And guess what happens then.. He does it again... and you become insecure and he does exactly what he wants cos he knows you will be there.

At least with me not chasing him he cant be so sure of where he stands with me! and what if i did call him, whats to stop him from ignoring that call aswell..

I believe im seeing the real him right now. Stubborn, inconsiderate a spoilt brat.

Thanks so much temple of jaguar im beginning to feel stronger about the situation.

Ive been asked out by a few other men do you think maybe i should just go out have a good time remind myself what a catch i am lol.. and if hes worth it he'll come back and apologise!!! and realise if he wants to treat me the way he treated his ex he has a challenge ahead of him.

I never said he was innocent .. I said he was human and in a bad mood, which led to him having a tone.

Obviously there's no interest on your part to resolve the issue, the only desire is to hold him accountible for being irritated.

Being a woman myself, I know there has been a day in your life when you were PMS'ing and took a bitchy tone with someone in which you didn't meant to do.

Hopefully, those people understand you're human and forgave you, without requiring an apology because they knew you were in a foul mood at the time.

If you can't forgive somebody else for taking tones when they are upset, or irritated, or pissed off .... then it means you don't love that person, and being broken up is the right thing to do.

Instead of waiting for him to contact you, you should probably just carry-on with your life and let him find a woman who will let him live.

Good Luck

AMEN Michele. Your own testimonial will also give courage and strength to other women reading these posts how to handle THEIR self respect going thru similar if not parallel situations.

YES I do think you should go out and date others. Unless he makes an exclusive commitment to you there is nothing that commits you to him exclusively. It will also stop you from participating in the very hurtful games he is obviously playing with you now.

And P-Angel your "opinions" regarding my posts could not be more mis-interpreted then your own post here. I am still friends with my Libra (although he has been a jerk and behaved very badly) I ended our relationship recently due to his disrespect. I have no problems being friends with him as we were friends BEFORE he wanted to get back together with me romantically. It's just that I feel he is much better being a friend to me then he ever was in the relationship. So whatever accusations you're trying to mix up here by randomly pulling quotes from previous threads to vent your own frustrations for having someone disagree with you here and with other threads you've contributed to are wasted.

Posts made were relevant to the circumstances in those thread. It by no means should be taken out of context, as you are attempting to do here, to argue your point. You made a point and 2 people (and hopefully many, many more) did not agree with your method or logic to the situation here in this thread.

Case in point: I never said the guy was off sulking. (we don't know why and probably will never know why he has vanished and is playing stupid phone and mind games). I said he is PROBABLY off sulking. Because again........we don't know. Based upon the information Michele has and the way he reacted to being called out for being rude....seems a little simple to assume (again just assuming).

I'm not going to speculate on the endless possibilities that could also involve him being interested in someone else. Which is all the more reason Michele should go out and keep her own options open. When Libra comes back around (and yes Michele he will pop back up) she won't be so emotionally vulnerable to the games this man is playing. By showing him she is NOT willing to participate in them she is giving herself respect.

You think what you want P-Angel.

Michele I for one am glad I could give you the insight you needed when you needed it the most. People don't always sugar coat it here but you'll often see the truth. Good and bad. I am happy my contribution what I have learned from my own experience and from that of others.

Best of luck !

Temple of Jaguar..I wont be so emotionally vunerable!!! Exactly! Just out of interest what star sign are you Temple of Jaguar if you dont mind me asking?

P Angel i need to understand something if thats ok...

You say it was a bad mood etc.. I was bad he was bad.. ok lets say that is so.
How do we come to the conclusion then that even tho i have called him im to call him again? Why do you seem so set on the idea that i am to call him. After he hasnt returned my call? So if i call him as you say and he choses to ignore that one aswell because he can because he now knows he hasnt lost me.. Am i to call again.. when am i stop— Sounds to me like if i go on your way of thinking i deserve everything i get.

At this moment in time i dont. He is to call me back i called him he should call me. Its gone beyond the telephone conversation now. Now its a case of him playing a game with me. and i dont want to PLAY!!! So im going to leave him to his game to play with himself and get on with my life. and yes if so be it leave him to find someone who likes chasing after him, feeling insecure and feeling as tho it is a 30/70 relationship cos if i dont hear from him thats clearly his ideal person.

You make it sound like if i be all sweet kind not say anything always happy with him.. let his behaviour that upsets me and i dont like happen! then everything will be ok. Isnt that what his ex girlfriend did..... isnt that what i was doing before the telephone call!


Thank you so much for posting your comments cos im beginning to feel strong and remember i am a valuable woman and should be valued.

He is a child!! and what happens when the child has the mother who lets him do what he likes plays to his tune and ignores his bad behaviour. We have a spoilt brat!

Cant believe you think he will come back temple of jaguar this only re-enforces our idea that he is arrogant and thinks he can do what he likes.

Thanks so much temple of jaguar for keeping me strong! Im going out this weekend with the girls and i will go out with these other blokes and if he does come back i wont be so emoitionally vunerable

It's not about calling/texting, in itself ... it's about attitude.


Sorry, I can't help you, michele, nor do you want it ... you just want him to be wrong.

I can't help but to shake my head over this ..

For months, he's been a wonderful boyfriend .. he makes one mistake and you cop an unforgiving attitude and lay guilt-trips on him.

Knowing Libra's as well as I do .. I would imagine this is the very reason in which he pulled away.

P Angel.. Anyone would think this bloke was your best friend. Are you even listening to what your saying..

The mistake hes making is now!!! He hasnt returned my call! Ive called him! Trying to sort out the problem...

Hes actually made two mistakes one speaking to me like hes all that and hes cool whatever see me not see me.

and the second not calling me back...

Now please explain to me what you think i should do exactly...

Your right hes been a great boyfriend so far.. but like all guys who treat women like rubbish they are always great to start with.

I think hes the most amazing guy ive ever been with and i really saw a future with him. BUT!!! He is now acting complacent not just the telephone call because what he is doing right now.. not calling me back!

Tell me what i should do.... forget about misunderstandings.. one mistake ... what do i do now!! Cos so far ive called him and he hasnt called me back... Please tell me im very interested to know.... cos i dont think you can tell me..

Cos i think your going to say call him!!! and supposing he decides to ignore that call aswell.... because this wonderful person has ignored one call so far! The only way that boy is going to realise he cant wonder off when he wants is when i dont go looking for him. If he doesnt come back he was never mine to begin with. He would have always left me.

That risk is worth taking. Not your risk of calling him again. I cant believe what your saying i really cant.. please tell me what you think i should now.... if your shaking head so much x

******cop an unforgiving attitude and lay guilt-trips on him.**********

Standing up for ones self out of dignity and self respect P-Angel HAS NOTHING , I REPEAT NOTHING to do with guilt-trips. To label it as such is grossly wrong and disturbing on many levels.

Further more: *****Knowing Libra's as well as I do .. I would imagine this is the very reason in which he pulled away.****** YOU IMAGINE is correct. You don't know why and neither do we. But your inference to suggesting she has "copped" an attitude and is using what you deem her self respect to being "guilt tripping retaliation" is not only offensive to any woman who finds herself on the receiving end of any situation remotely similar to this and should only continue to read your advise as simply "well meaning" but WAAAAAYYYYYY OFF BASE.

Since you claim to know so much about Libras why not offer up the magical insight on WHY Libras don't see their behavior as rude (ie: vanishing, don't return calls, avoid calls, etc) THEY all do it to in varying degrees admittedly. To imply that her Libra is an exception and he did it because as you state ***** you just want him to be wrong***** Is insulting.

Sheeesh!

Michele, you have hit the nail on the head: ******The only way that boy is going to realise he cant wonder off when he wants is when i dont go looking for him. If he doesnt come back he was never mine to begin with. He would have always left me.******

If he cares, he'll call you. He'll stop playing games. He'll realize you are NOT like the woman P-Angel suggests you should be. You have class when you have respect for yourself. If he doesn't appreciate that.... then you compromise who YOU are to please him. Does that sound fair in your heart and your mind to accept? Ask yourself those kind of questions and the answers will come to you. Use DXP to sound your ideas or get a second opinion or in some cases even validate what your thinking or feeling. But always do what feels right for YOU.

BEST of Luck!!!!!

Without gaining any understanding in what happened, there's no way for you to understand what I am saying to you, michele. So far, what has been tossed around as maybe being the reason for his distance and not contacting you is .. sulking, punishment to you, not interested, and a general of "something else" ... those are reasons, excuses you are looking for to justify why he's pulled away. And there's no way of you understanding "why" he pulled away unless you look at what happened to actually cause it, with a desire in mending.

The desire in mending has to be present when you view this .. if the desire to find fault is present when you view it, then the only thing you are going to find are errors.


"he asked what time i was coming round tomorrow when i said can you pick me up on your way home he said pick you up... oh... ok. We said goodbye see you tomorrow etc.. but the next day i was so annoyed how he spoke to me i said shall we leave tonight thought you were rude to me and you didnt seem bothered about dinner."


This is the point he stopped contacting you. During the time you two spent DURING this situation, there was no mention of him being rude to you. You didn't like his tone, yet, said nothing to address this immediately .. which you SHOULD have done.

Instead .. you let it fester inside of you until you got annoyed, and then struck out with a guilt-trip.

Think about that from his perspective ... what if you did something and the person says nothing about it to you, then later, strikes out at you. Wouldn't you then feel like you were being ATTACKED? If you screw up, or hurt somebody .. don't you want that person to talk to you like an adult at the time and explain to you why you hurt their feelings?

I'm not trying to point a finger and say you fucked up, and he is innocent in any way .. I'm trying to say, as I've been trying to say from the very beginning that it's just a mis-understanding because you two were on a different level of emotions and reacted according to your emotions, rather than trying to gain awareness into the circumstances.

He was rude because of emotions .. and reacted
You were annoyed because of emotions .. and reacted

Without actually looking at the circumstances.

Again .. it's about attitude. If your attitude is to find blame then this is how your tone will come out .. if your attitude is to find peace with him then this is how your tone will come out.

If your attitude is that his behaviour is unacceptable .. then there is no desire for forgiveness.

My suggestion is the same as it was from the very beginning ..

Text/email him .. for written words can be controlled and there's no fear of emotions taking over and saying something you don't mean .. and tell him that this got carried away, things were said that shouldn't have been said, tones of his were taken by you as being offensive, you over-reacted by taking offense and striking back, rather than talking to him about his tone .. say everything you want to get out to him, with the intentions of finding a SOLUTION on peaceful grounds.

However you have to word it ... just don't sound accusing .. sound as though you want to fix the problem because you care about him.

It's that simple !!!!

You're right Temple .. a person should stand up for themselves. If someone wrongs you in some way, then you should approach the situation.

However, to not stand up at the time of offense .. to later let it fester until a guilt-trip has been laid as punishment to hurt feelings in retaliation isn't addressing the issue at all, nor standing up for yourself .. rather coping an attitude.

michele, I'm done with this .. it's apparant that my thoughts on trying to find a peaceful resolution is so far out in left-field according to other peoples perception of resolving this has only created a situation in which Temple can dump more of her anguish on for being injured by a Libra man .. so, my words will then have no meaning to you.


Good Luck, and I truly hope that you can understand that to find the answer to this problems lays within your desire to find a peaceful resolution, instead of self-honor ..

P Angel. That message was much better written than your previous ones.

I completely understand where your coming from now. I should have addressed it that nite. But i was doing the not saying anything im going to see him, not be true to myself thing.

and that morning. Guilt trip— I thought do i actually want to see him tonight and cook him dinner and be intimate with him.

NO I FLAMINGWELL DONT!!! Call it a guilt trip if you like... but id prefer to call it... if he isnt bothered then neither am i.

I gave him the chance to speak his mind both texting asking whether to leave it and the call after he replied up to you..

In life as you repeatedly say we are human!!I open my mouth if i dont like something. and if hes going to drop me for opening my mouth everytime then maybe hes better suited to the doormat he'd prefer to have.

I didnt believe what i was hearing at first and instead of having an argument on the phone or saying hey i think your being rude i was trying to comprehend what was going on.

My initial thought was not he being moody, rude. ITS hes being c o c k y!!
and thats what i should have said not moody or rude but c o c k y !! Nothing to do with having a bad day! Everything to do with thinking he doesnt have to put talk to me how he usually does. and guess what thats probably why he sent back up to you.. cos usually if i say hey i didnt like that he says sorry.. or explains himself. Bearing in mind this was during the time i was not feeling comfortable to show him how i felt. and your right now that ive text saying you were rude he now knows the way he acts bothers me. HE HAS ME!! Hence why he can leave answering the call and think i will get in touch with him..

I cant be that far off the mark cos hes arrogant, stubborn and childish ive seen it and his mates girlfriend told me she has seen it.

Doesnt mean hes a bad person just means that he gotten his way with girls all the time. But not with this girly he wont!

Sure, let's just ignore the fact that when she called back the SECOND time he ignored her call and when she called back AGAIN......he turned his phone off. No he hasn't made any contact with her for a week. hmmmmmm this sounds like the kind of guy any woman would be fighting to have.... NOT !!!!!

If Michele happens to get an attitude......it would be from this action and NOT because of his other rudely behavior that initiated the whole incident. At this point I think she should be entitled to one if she so desired. Attitude is EVERYTHING. You are absolutely RIGHT about that P-Angel.

Any woman who does not have a self respecting attitude (and I don't mean the finger shaking, foot stomping, screetching voice 5 octaves up, kind of attitude)I mean an attitude that doesn't have to be about the tone in her voice or the perfect words she chooses to voice an objection. She should have the kind of attitude that she doesn't tolerate disrespect on any level. Michele has proved she cared and made several attempts to resolve it. He is proving HE doesn't care.

Eventually, when he realizes he does CARE...he'll pop back up and he'll try to resolve things.

WTF P-ANGEL?? *****it's apparant that my thoughts on trying to find a peaceful resolution is so far out in left-field according to other peoples perception of resolving this has only created a situation in which Temple can dump more of her anguish on for being injured by a Libra man .. so, my words will then have no meaning to you.****

You could not be more in error of this statement about my posts. I am still friends with my Libra even after I ENDED the relationship. You know nothing about the situation in which you speak in spite of your self confessed "authority on Libra's".

You're just pissed off because I don't agree with your posts in this thread. No one (including me) is not appreciative of the effort to find a peaceful way of resolving it. It's just that your perception of going about it was not received as graciously as you would have liked, least of all by me. I respect your opinion......I just flat out don't agree with it!!!!!!!!! It isn't even about this guy being a Libra for cryingn out loud. This could be ANY guy out there.

Michele has made several attempts to communicate with him. ENOUGH !! Let him come around when he comes around. THAT is how Libras are!! Groveling for forgiveness to apologize by insisting she send yet another text message is BS.

My Libra which you continually keep bringing up yes behaved badly which ended the relationship. IT IN NO WAY negates who he is is as a man. It's just that he is a much much better friend to me when we were just friends then he ever was in a romantic relationship. I preferred we end the relationship due to his lack of respect and remain friends (and we are) regardless of how you want to twist that around.

Eventhough I said I was done with this .. I want to leave one more post for you to ponder, michele ..

-------------------------------------

"we have been getting on well hes very romantic and sweet to me. Valentines Day he took me to really nice place and bought me expensive chocolates."

"I know what your saying but this is the first time hes carried on like this.. Hes treated me with complete respect and always calls and texts me."

"cos usually if i say hey i didnt like that he says sorry.. or explains himself."

-------------------------------

He makes a mistake, in which you don't approach in an adult manner, rather .. let well up inside of you until you get annoyed, and then retaliate against him to hurt him back, eventhough you know from the last quote above that if you say something to him you don't like, he will explain himself and apologize for hurting you.

Instead of accepting any responsibility for participating in this situation, with intentions of having the wonderful, respectful boyfriend you have described above ... you'd rather now see him as below ...

"I cant be that far off the mark cos hes arrogant, stubborn and childish"


His actions and love towards you for 4 months have been replaced with regarding him in the above quote ... because he made a mistake in which you know, according to the third quote of yours copied here .. that IF you had just approached him at time of incident .. then he would have apologized to you and none of this drama would be happening.


A mistake caused by being human and taking a tone when upset .... while for four months prior, by your description, he was a wonderful man.

You have a choice .. you can either "play" hard-to-get and ignore him with intentions of getting him to crawl back to you .. or you can approach this situation like an adult and carry some of the responsibility. I hope you choose the later. 🙂