Dunno what to do, help please

So uh.. I'm a Leo girl and have been with a Capricorn man for over a year. In that time we've managed to break up (max for a day) and argue many, many times. Kinda turbulent relationship. But in the end we've always recognised that we love each other and want to be together. Often because I've pushed him into admitting it or persuaded him to try to work on the relationship and not give up. We do not live together but meet up everyday(always) and spend time together.

However, this week he's been very distant, we haven't seen each other for three days now. I've caught him lying to me about his ex-girlfriend (he said he was going to return some money to her and that she was not going to a party that he's going to afterwards because she is sick. Yesterday I've learned that they indeed were together at the party and enjoyed themselves up until the wee hours-haven't told him that I know about it yet). He told me that he doesn't know if he loves me(texted more like) and canceled our dates because he "didn't want to go out". A week ago everything was fine and wonderful and now he's acting like pre-break up fever is upon him.

I don't want to lose him. I love him and all that but on the other hand I don't think I can keep proving to him that we should be together. It's getting very tiring and frankly I'm embarrassed that I even have to do something like that to make him try.

I think that he wants to be with me but somehow always looses resolve. I'm scared that if I don't do something, the relationship we've built with hard work will just slowly vanish into nothing.

What do you guys think I should do? Let him decide? Try to make him see that we should be together? Is it salvageable(mind you this is really just a week-long issue but it just keeps repeating and repeating..) ? Would the wise thing be to just let him grow up a bit(he's 20 years old, younger than me) ? But then there's no guarantee that he'd come back to me..

Man.. this is bumming me out..

If he's lying to you that's a red flag straight away. You can't make someone see your worth and you shouldn't be forcing it. Arguing constantly isn't a good sign either. If it's draining now after a year, imagine after another year. Some people belong in your heart but not in your life.

Posted by Claris

the relationship we've built with hard work will just slowly vanish into nothing.

Both of you don't have a relationship together.

You have a fantasy

He has you telling him what to do, telling him how he is going to feel

Posted by Claris

because I've pushed him into admitting it or persuaded him to try

proving to him that we should be together.

It's getting very tiring

I even have to do something like that to make him try

Let him decide? Try to make him see that we should be together?

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"let" him decide for himself?

You're seriously believing that you have a right to forbid him from making his own choices?



You're a control freak ... and he's been trying to get away from for some time, according to all that you've written here. But, you pull on reigns you have placed around his neck because that's what control freaks do. I guess they act like you because they cannot handle letting other people live their lives for themselves. idk



But, what I do know that he's probably glad af that he was seen with another woman .... so that maybe you would finally leave him alone, and stop trying to force him into being your puppet.

P-Angel

Control freak? Probably. I'm also a drama queen. Turns out he was bummed out because of his school and was taking it out on me. Sorry for taking your time, however, your thoughts on the matter are very appreciated. I wouldn't say that I'm telling him how to feel, more like trying to get him to speak up his mind and tell me what he really wants. He tends to be melancholic and gives up quickly. Maybe because he's scared of the effort? Whether it's school or relationships, the same attitude arises.. However, I can understand that it can seem like I'm controlling him.. even to him. Will work on that issue ardently because it is certainly not my aim to do so.

As to "trying to get away" ? Might be a really good actor or I'm just blind.. Guess we'll see.

PS: by "let him decide" I meant "give him space and distance myself so that he can figure it out" - sorry, poor choice of words..

Thank you for your input everyone 🙂

bad signs: fighting lots, convincing him to stay with you, lying about his ex and hanging out with her!

Leo and Capricorn have a bad record on here.

Posted by pinkbird03
bad signs: fighting lots, convincing him to stay with you, lying about his ex and hanging out with her!

Leo and Capricorn have a bad record on here.

I suppose they are not very compatible. I've read many times that Leo and Capricorn stay together largely because they are both incredibly stubborn.. -.-'

Posted by Claris

Posted by pinkbird03
bad signs: fighting lots, convincing him to stay with you, lying about his ex and hanging out with her!

Leo and Capricorn have a bad record on here.

I suppose they are not very compatible. I've read many times that Leo and Capricorn stay together largely because they are both incredibly stubborn.. -.-'

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I'm sorry! Dating sucks. Capricorns are dreamy, but challenging. You deserve happiness and it might be time to move on if he's not the right one.

Posted by Claris
P-Angel

Turns out he was bummed out because of his school and was taking it out on me.

Girl he went out with his ex, partied all night and lied to you about it? How on earth are you buying the bummed out bc of school shitty excuse?

Posted by scorpYo

Posted by Claris
P-Angel

Turns out he was bummed out because of his school and was taking it out on me.

Girl he went out with his ex, partied all night and lied to you about it? How on earth are you buying the bummed out bc of school shitty excuse?

click to expand

Eh.. because I'm obviously totally stupid. And it really took me several weeks to figure out. Now he'd like to break up but still have sex and hang out.. I just don't know. Feels like I don't know anything anymore.

I think I love the guy and want to give him everything but I always make so many mistakes and push him away further. He doesn't even talk to me properly anymore.

I fucked up. He fucked up (although he'd never admit it) and now I'm just clinging to the idea that maybe if I give him enough space and change myself for better (I mean like.. really for better - no drama, no complaining,..) that he might change his mind.

Am I delusional? I really feel like I don't know anything anymore.. FML

Posted by Claris

Posted by scorpYo

Posted by Claris
P-Angel

Turns out he was bummed out because of his school and was taking it out on me.

Girl he went out with his ex, partied all night and lied to you about it? How on earth are you buying the bummed out bc of school shitty excuse?

Eh.. because I'm obviously totally stupid. And it really took me several weeks to figure out. Now he'd like to break up but still have sex and hang out.. I just don't know. Feels like I don't know anything anymore.

I think I love the guy and want to give him everything but I always make so many mistakes and push him away further. He doesn't even talk to me properly anymore.

I fucked up. He fucked up (although he'd never admit it) and now I'm just clinging to the idea that maybe if I give him enough space and change myself for better (I mean like.. really for better - no drama, no complaining,..) that he might change his mind.

Am I delusional? I really feel like I don't know anything anymore.. FML

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Here's the thing, because I was with a leo sun/capricorn moon once.. actually for a while.. same thing with attempts to control and the drama.. here's what we like about you, the loyalty and commitment.. you never leave us, we're loyal people too, but, we're the most controlling sign on the chart so what happens usually between us is that neither of back down and then we fight, all the time. Back down more often, especially over the small things. We like femininity in our women too so relax a lil with the flair and drama, turn down the fire and save it for the bedroom. If you can turn off the pushy controlling drama stuff when you're with him than you have a chance. That's the only way he'll be with you though. Caps are loyal too so there's that as well.. we're not going to forget you unless you were really dramatic and the fights were intense and constant.

Posted by Claris

Posted by scorpYo

Posted by Claris
P-Angel

Turns out he was bummed out because of his school and was taking it out on me.

Girl he went out with his ex, partied all night and lied to you about it? How on earth are you buying the bummed out bc of school shitty excuse?

Eh.. because I'm obviously totally stupid. And it really took me several weeks to figure out. Now he'd like to break up but still have sex and hang out.. I just don't know. Feels like I don't know anything anymore.

I think I love the guy and want to give him everything but I always make so many mistakes and push him away further. He doesn't even talk to me properly anymore.

I fucked up. He fucked up (although he'd never admit it) and now I'm just clinging to the idea that maybe if I give him enough space and change myself for better (I mean like.. really for better - no drama, no complaining,..) that he might change his mind.

Am I delusional? I really feel like I don't know anything anymore.. FML

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He's making you feel like its your fault but it's not! he's a fuckboy who just wants to fuck you around whenever he wants don't give him that. Stand up for yourself and move on.//