leaving an estranged husband

Recently, I met a pisces and we click very well, I'm a cancer, it feels nice when I talk to him. He invited me for a short hang out at his place and I went, we just spent 2 hours chatting. Initially he wanted to meet earlier but I ended up being late so we didn't have so much time to spend together. But when I left, he told me he would like to see me again when he is back from holidays. Maybe then we could have a drink together. Ok the problem is, I am currently still in a 4 year relationship. since beginning of this year, I have lost a lot of hope in my relationship. Mainly because my partner (a Leo) continues to disappoint me in a lot of ways, and we never talked about the fights we've had, as he is not the kind to talk about his feelings at all....so we never come to a compromise. He is a great man, does a lot of cleaning but continues to drink heavily and smoke weed on and off, even though he promised to quit. So we started sleeping in separate rooms since months, on and off. I am shocked at my own emotions, being infatuated by someone while I"m still in a relationship. I think initially I wanted to make new friends because I was lonely with the Leo, felt neglected, etc and just wanted to meet new friends but upon meeting this pisces, it was really coincidental that we click. I don't want to be a cheater, nothing has happened yet but emotionally I feel like I'm already cheating and I am thinking to leave my relationship soon before something bad happens. I know this pisces might not be interested in me but I don't know what to do. I love my partner but I think we just lost that spark and now I might be seeking to 'fall in love' with a new person. Is this a love addiction and am I not able to love someone truly in a relationship?

Thanks for the advice. Yeah I totally don't mind the weed smoking, if it's once in a while! But a few times, we were suppose to spend "quality" time together, which is pretty rare, he would just make an excuse to go to his friend's place...end up scoring weed...that annoys me a lot. I'd rather he tell me the truth, of course I would say no but still I hate being tricked. That and I think he takes me for granted. When I ignore him, he crawls to me like a kitten, and when I am nice to him...he is disappearing. So somehow, this pisces came at the right time, I am really hoping that he doesn't fancy me in that way and just want a platonic friendship. (He's leaving the city in a year to another country) so that I know I won't end up cheating on my partner, because I don't want to. I"d much rather a friendship actually, it wouldn't be so complicated. But then I have a bad feeling he might make a move on me...when we spend time alone, yet the time spent with him is really nice! IT feels like we've known each other for years. Pisces tend to give me that feeling, i dated two pisces before and it was like we are best friends forever.

Posted by SensitiveBlues
IF YOU'RE NOT MARRIED, WHY DO YOU CARE IF YOU SLEEP WITH THE PISCES.

MOST PEOPLE CHEAT BEFORE MARRIAGE ANYWAYS

No, I don't want to cheat. I think I will be totally honest to the pisces and tell him I just want to have a friendship and nothing else.

You might as well just leave the Leo. Tell the Leo what you just did and your issue will fix itself.

1. Either the Leo will see your worth and straighten up.

2. He will kick you to the curb

3. He will realize you are not loyal and punt you

Work on ending relationship with leo. If you are not happy then move on. Just step away from Pisces right now until you deal with the leo.

Why does the title mention a husband but everyone says you are not married?

Things with this Leo are not going to improve. I would get out of there. God, what is with all these emotionally neglectful assholes?

Posted by butterfly30
Work on ending relationship with leo. If you are not happy then move on. Just step away from Pisces right now until you deal with the leo.

Yeah I've been trying to find the right moment to leave but it's not so easy. Maybe you know how to tell a leo?

Posted by GuardianAnu
Why does the title mention a husband but everyone says you are not married?

Things with this Leo are not going to improve. I would get out of there. God, what is with all these emotionally neglectful assholes?

I think men don't understand that women needs them in an emotional way, especially since I"m a cancer. I thought I could cope well but after 4 years, I think the lack of emotional bond has reached it's limit.

Posted by Impulsv
Leave!! The relationship

I read nothing good from that relationship

What are U waiting for don't waste time n do it because ur not happy

If it hasn't changed in four years it will never change cut ur losses n u deserve happiness

Thanks. Actually yeah because I don't want to hurt anyone and destroy a relationship. But Leos they are emotionally unavailable or maybe he doesn't have enough love for me to care anymore. He often says "I don't care" when I asked him why he's like that but deep downI know he doesn't want me to leave. He's confusing.

And I just also found out that the pisces guy doesn't believe in marriage and he's 10 years older, single. I think men that old who are still single must also have issues.

its better if you call this number and talk about it there

1-800-96-JERRY

Posted by lady82

Posted by butterfly30
Work on ending relationship with leo. If you are not happy then move on. Just step away from Pisces right now until you deal with the leo.

Yeah I've been trying to find the right moment to leave but it's not so easy. Maybe you know how to tell a leo?

click to expand

Just let know you are not happy and you don't want to be in a relationship with him. I feel like you already made your mind.if so then do it. You already feel alone. If you feel that way why not just physically get him out your space. Tell him that you want to talk..when speaking to him just tell him straight up that you are not happy and you want to move on..keep it short. You dont need to go into your feeling if you already made up you mind. The bottom line is that you are unhappy and ready to move on.

Posted by lady82

Posted by Impulsv
Leave!! The relationship

I read nothing good from that relationship

What are U waiting for don't waste time n do it because ur not happy

If it hasn't changed in four years it will never change cut ur losses n u deserve happiness

Thanks. Actually yeah because I don't want to hurt anyone and destroy a relationship. But Leos they are emotionally unavailable or maybe he doesn't have enough love for me to care anymore. He often says "I don't care" when I asked him why he's like that but deep downI know he doesn't want me to leave. He's confusing.

And I just also found out that the pisces guy doesn't believe in marriage and he's 10 years older, single. I think men that old who are still single must also have issues.

click to expand

Either way you should just think about being a single women. If you are done with the leo then leave..the Pisces shouldnt be even thought about right now. Give your self time to heal and be single. Your single time can be a time to reflect on what you want from the future partner?.what mistakes you have made that you never want to happen again in a new relationship? I just saying you need that breath time..date a few people to see what's new out there. But if you are not happy and the leo is not working then let him go..free yourself. It's not about his feeling ..it's about you being unhappy and the leo is not trying.

The only reason you are infatuated with the Pisces at this time is because you are looking for an out, you are on an emotional rebound, so therefore, the Pisces appears to be a savior to you, so that you have someone on the outside to go to.

If you were happy in your marriage, then you wouldn't have fallen in infatuation with another man.

You say further down the thread that you only want to be friends with the Pisces, but, that is a lie. You know full well that you want more than friendship with him at this time ..... you want a crutch, you want someone to pull you through.

You say that you are in fear that he'll make a move on you .... yet, that is exactly the signals you are giving him. If you spend time with a man, and you two meet up and click together ... then you are suggesting to him that it is ok to pursue.

So, if you have no intentions of accepting the Pisces for more ... then you're using him. You are being an emotional abuser, and user.

I'm not stating whether what you are doing is wrong or right .... only that you haven't even put all of this in it's proper perspective. You are acting one way, yet, presenting yourself in another, due to you lying to yourself.

I am a huge protester and greatly against cheating ... however .......................................................



I also realize that people sometimes need a stepping stone. Sometimes, life is too great of a challenge to face alone.



What I think you should do is: Talk to the Pisces, and make sure he realizes your position. Tell him how you feel about him, and how you really like him but you don't want to hurt anyone, especially your husband. And ask the Fish to help to emotionally support you.

He will, trust me.

Then with his shoulder to lean on ..... begin to fade away from the Leo. Make sure all of your actions represent you emotionally disconnecting from him, which you've already started to do, since you sleep in separate rooms.

Do NOT sleep with the LEO

Do NOT provide for him services around the house, services for his well being

Do NOT pressure him, or have him make promises to you about his addictions

Do NOT treat him like your husband.

Eventually, he will come to you, and want to talk because he will recognize that you're pulling away. When he does, then this is your opportunity to tell him that you no longer love him enough to be his wife. That you still care for him as a person, and always will, and make sure that he knows that you never intended to hurt him, that is why you are still living with him waiting for him to come around.

Do NOT sleep with the Pisces .. and tell him why you won't -because you won't hurt your husband like that.

Tell the Leo that you want out of the relationship during this talk that he will initiate ... and make sure that during your departure, you stick to your guns, to not hurt him.



Trust me, if the Pisces really does care about you .... he will let you come to him for support, and he will carry you until you get yourself together.

At that point though ...... you must make sure to be honest with the Fish. Pisces are very keen at reading people, and he will have an expectation in return, and that expectation will be your honesty.

Posted by P-Angel
I am a huge protester and greatly against cheating ... however .......................................................



I also realize that people sometimes need a stepping stone. Sometimes, life is too great of a challenge to face alone.



What I think you should do is: Talk to the Pisces, and make sure he realizes your position. Tell him how you feel about him, and how you really like him but you don't want to hurt anyone, especially your husband. And ask the Fish to help to emotionally support you.

He will, trust me.

Then with his shoulder to lean on ..... begin to fade away from the Leo. Make sure all of your actions represent you emotionally disconnecting from him, which you've already started to do, since you sleep in separate rooms.

Do NOT sleep with the LEO

Do NOT provide for him services around the house, services for his well being

Do NOT pressure him, or have him make promises to you about his addictions

Do NOT treat him like your husband.

Thanks for the very sound advice. I like it! Are you also a pisces? You sound like one 🙂

Actually I am already providing him services in the house - cooking and cleaning for him because he was super busy lately, that he doesn't even have time to eat. I don't feel good if I don't do things for him. We've been together so long, he's like in my heart/soul but the need for him is not there anymore...

AND your advice was exactly what i was planning to do.

To find the right moment to break the news to the pisces that (because so far, we haven't shared exactly so many personal information about each other)

1. I am in a long-term relationship

2. it's not going well and I"m looking for a way out

3. That I am attracted to him (not sure if i should tell him this, if so only when he makes a move) and he came at the right moment when I am since long time down in my r/s. I feel so strongly the first time I met him it was like a soul-mate encounter, he looked at me really intensely)

BUT on the other hand, do you think I"m crazy and overthinking it? I've been thinking that I'm just crazy cos I have been so lack of emotional connection that I am totally infatuated with anyone that provides that. As a cancer, my emotions can be so intense. (Scorpio moon)....but yes I totally agree honesty is the BEST and that NO cheating...

At the same time, I haven't spoken openly about my r/s to many people because firstly I don't want to be that girl who complains about her relationship all the time....I need to work this out independently..and 2ndly, sometimes I still bare that 1% hope that maybe things will work out eventually, I told a good friend about how tired I am trying to work things out and how disappointed I am in my partner, he didn't advice me anything but just being a good listener. I said I'm still hanging on because I know all relationships are hard work so I am willing to stick through the mud. He disagrees and doesn't think relationship should be like a job. However, I am certain that the Leo will never change his ways. Continue to act selfishly without caring about how I would feel. Tha'ts just the way a leo is. They don't like to be under the control of anyone, they just do...no warning to me or anyone about their plans. but I need to talk about things, I need to know when he wants to come home in the morning, or when he's out partying with friends, etc. No he doesn't warn me about stuff like that. I don't know where he goes, etc. So yeah, if he can't change after 4 years. but I'm still here because I know he will always be faithful to me, and he NEEDS me around. I am afraid to break his heart for my selfish needs, or because I can't handle myself..

I thought about it now and I am actually glad that he is going on holiday and we are not going to see each other for some time. I am going to be logical and eventually try to distance myself from Leo and then be alone for a while without starting a crazy whirlwind romance with anyone. I know this pisces is not the one for me as well. If I didn't have any energy left to work things out with this Leo, then I think I can't work things out with anyone, like you said it's definitely an emotional rebound. Thanks a lot. I need to be strong!