NEED HELP!!

This is my first time here. Not sure if this will help or hurt looking for new pov I suppose. Im a 29 yr old female Pisces and Im currently attempting a relationship with a 38 yr old male Cancer. We work together and we've been in a casual Sex no strings relarionship. There were no boundaries set from the beginning. We slowly felt eachother out and clicked. We've been inseparable for 7 months now. Recently within the last 3 months feelings have deepened for the both of us. Im in love with him and Im 90% certain hes in love with me as well. However, here is the problem... I was told by him I was free to be with anyone I chose to be with (he is currently going through a divorce) as long as I let him know aheas of time. I told him I wasnt comfortable with that. I want to be the only hes romantically and sexually involved with. Hes guarded with Everyone unless its family or me and I like this about him however, I felt him guarding himself so I guarded myself and tols him I wasnt comfortable sharing who I slept with or disnt sleep with, with him... I ended sleeping with one other guy in the entire 7 months of this no strings relarionship and he caught wind of it. I denied it for 2 months because I didnt feel it was any of his business we arent in an exclusive relarionship so I dont consider it cheating. Until recently he never made mention of wanting a relationship. I made it clear that's what I wanted but there was never any serious talk until I came clean about the other guy. Mind you this was once and I never went back because I realized wanted to try at a relarionship with my Cancer guy. Needless to say he was crushed and proceeded to tell me that he was om his way to making us official until he found out about this. He left and I was devasted. Recently hes come back around but says it wont be the same. We went from countless hours on the phone and texting when we couldnt talk to the last 3 days of hit or miss conversarions that end abruptly on his part. At work hes still slightly playful and touchy feely but I can still sense his guard. Hasnt come over to my house in almost a week and went out for his birthday last night and other than a 2 min comversation hes been silent all night. Im lost... Do I keep waiting for a relarionship thag may never happen or do I keep my best friend and let go of my lover.
Very confused and wounded Pisces 😢
(My keyboard is screwed up sorry for the typos)

So, if you've been fucking this guy for quite a while .... does that mean that you were laying in his bed, while he was still married?

You've slutted yourself to him .... there's no recovery from that ... you will always be a piece of ass that isn't important to any person.

Next time, try having some decency and values.

Ha, ok...
No actually, he was going through the divorce when we met. Theres no need to be a prick. Didnt ask for your opinion on my morals. Take it down a notch.

How long has this guy been married for?
Did you meet before he got married or going through the
divorce?

This would be a great story how a fwb became a couple..

But how do you know if he is really getting a divorce? And just keeping you as a mistress?

And he can't and doesn't need to know your business at all. Go into another fwb with someone who doesn't have any baggage and on the same page as you.

And if you want a monogamous relationship you can't do fwb at all.. because you don't like sharing and are possessive perhaps..
Fwb is an open relationship with sharing everyone

What makes you think he will choose you after all this going on and over with.. I wouldn't want a monogamous relationship.

I would enjoy being single for awhile especially after any divorce.

Hmmmm I'll argee to that..

1. It doesnt state anywhere that I've been sleeping with someone the entire time.
2. It does state that I slept with this guy once and never went back because I decided to take a leap of faith and shift this to a relarionship.
3.His divorce is common knowledge
4.Ive considered the monogamous relationship because the divorce is because she cheated on him not reverse.
5.He was legally separated and I made sure of this and waited until he moved out to start anything with him.
6. We didnt go into this looking for a relationship weve actually became great friends before anything.
7.Yes Im naturally possessive and territorial but kept those in check because of the type of relationship that it is.
8. Never expected to know if he was sleeping with anyone never wanted to know. That would be different if we were exclusive. This is my entire poont. I realize how he feels and have no problem with being exclusive or loyal and actually enjoy and thrive in a monogamous relationship. I was taking this for what it was and was caught off guard when he left. He never let me know where his head was at as far as a relationship goes. From what I understand tho this is common with Cancers.
So no... i dont believe I sound ridiculous. I believe you didnt pay attention to what I asked before you became seriously judgemental .

What exactly are you agreeing to so I can clear it up?...

What exactly are you agreeing to so I can clear it up?...

I am not judgmental. At all. I just wanted to know a few things. That is all. Because I love to know your thought process and therefore make accurate advice.

Number 9 I said I argee to that. Or confused.. but do what makes you happy.

Thanks AriesLady8 and dontdomewrong! This is what I needed both sides kind of thing. Emotions and personal shit aside. Makes sense. Ill sit down and figure out where we go from here.

I go into everything without bias by the way. I read and analyze what if that were to happen to me. Or if it was a life experience what advice I would give. So I did because I never went through this at all. So it's new to me. I give practical advice. Based on what solely in information she provides. And of course my views always changes.

And those of you that read between the lines it also changes my perspective clearly. So thanks it helps me see it either better or worse. Depends.

His wife cheated on him. He asked for divorce.

You proved that his dick was not enough while you were "inseparable". Are you expecting him to consider you marriage material? LoL.

Have the decency to move on. Or just continue to play the office vagina.

Just beware, that once that divorce is final, he's going to want to be free for a while. Actually, he's going to NEED to be free for a while. Divorce is a devastating thing and it takes TIME to be ready for another real relationship. Experts estimate it takes about one month for every year you've been together before you're ready for something real.

Just make sure you're not a rebound for him before you go developing feelings.