ScorpCap.

Hi everyone!

About 8 months ago I was seeing a Capricorn female, things ended with her "cheating" (we weren't in a committed relationship, but her actions certainly didn't align with the sweet things she was telling me-I was hurt)

Over the summer I would get an odd text here and there to see how I was doing from her and then a couple days before my birthday last month she messaged me and I opened communication. She ended up spilling her heart out to me and telling me she can't stop thinking about me and she made a huge mistake. I told her I don't trust her, etc. But, I am willing to give her my trust if she works for it and we go slow.

The next couple of days are great! She's very warm, etc and then the warmth stops and she gets distant. She knows I don't trust her and she should be doing everything in order to ease my mind in order to assure me that she is serious this time. I am just a little confused.

I am a Scorpio, so I can be just as beguiling to figure out too. But, I will usually just leave her be when she gets like this. In a sense she is the one that has something to lose, not me. I do care very deeply for her that being said and would like it to work out. Any advice for dealing with this enigmatic Capricorn?

Thank you!!
(I am a female Scorpio as well)

If you have decided to forgive and let her back in you can't stand back and watch her dance.
You have to put some effort into reconciliation too, which means not continuing to use the past against her. She's probably pulling back because she knows you are hard to reach and wondering if the effort is worth it. Or maybe she's tired of dancing and needs a few days off.

Very true. I have forgiven her and she knows that. I guess I just hate to be a bother if someone needs their alone time, seeing as how I need plenty of my alone time as well and know how I can get. She spilled a lot to me and I can see how she would feel vulnerable and scared.

Posted by scanlanmd
Hi everyone!

About 8 months ago I was seeing a Capricorn female, things ended with her "cheating" (we weren't in a committed relationship, but her actions certainly didn't align with the sweet things she was telling me-I was hurt)

Over the summer I would get an odd text here and there to see how I was doing from her and then a couple days before my birthday last month she messaged me and I opened communication. She ended up spilling her heart out to me and telling me she can't stop thinking about me and she made a huge mistake. I told her I don't trust her, etc. But, I am willing to give her my trust if she works for it and we go slow.

The next couple of days are great! She's very warm, etc and then the warmth stops and she gets distant. She knows I don't trust her and she should be doing everything in order to ease my mind in order to assure me that she is serious this time. I am just a little confused....I will usually just leave her be when she gets like this. In a sense she is the one that has something to lose, not me. I do care very deeply for her that being said and would like it to work out.

No you don't or this:

Posted by scanlanmd

...she should be doing everything in order to ease my mind in order to assure me that she is serious this time.... In a sense she is the one that has something to lose, not me...

click to expand

Would not have been a part of the OP.

The fact that you think you're the only one that has work to do is why this won't work the second time around. I really think you should have waited to get involved with her again until you worked on being able to forgive her, but since you haven't---you have work to do.

Scorps, in general already have difficulty trusting to some degree, but they are often open up to the possibility and work from there. Whether it be trusting the person will be true to their word, the person will truly understand them, seeing the goodness in people etc.

You have now entered a situation with your mind set on not trusting her, so you're already working against yourself. Your attitude reads like she's gonna have to work double time to "prove" something to you. Any little slip up (e.g. having an off day after only a few days of being warm) she's not working hard enough....

...Have you asked her about her mood? Why she's been distant? Most people that care and are trying to truly connect with another do that. However, you just "let her be" when she gets like that because you're more focused on what she has to prove to you to earn your trust. Who wants to be in a one sided relationship like that? At some point that will get exhausting and you would have accomplished what exactly other than resentment (on both sides) when you finally say "it wasn't good enough".

If you truly care and really want this to work I would suggest you actively work on your ability to forgive and trust again while improving on your communications skills. Water signs often focus too much energy on passively mirroring others to get their point across and I think the whole point of this exercise (aka being with another) is to stretch ourselves beyond what we normally do in order to grow.

Work on that stuff ^^^ not based on her ability to prove anything to you, but for the purpose of being a real partner that another would want to commit to. Otherwise leave this alone.

PS happy belated 🙂

I think I may have came across "angry" in my post, haha. And thank you all for your replies!! I appreciate your opinions greatly. I can see where all of you are coming from. I definitely have insecurities about this and I should work on not being so selfish and one sided like everything is her fault. She opened up to me and I should be so appreciative for that, it is not often that has happened. I also feel I am expecting so much and in return I am not very giving to her needs, work and situations.

And thank you for the belated wish! 🙂

Posted by scanlanmd
I think I may have came across "angry" in my post, haha. And thank you all for your replies!! I appreciate your opinions greatly. I can see where all of you are coming from. I definitely have insecurities about this and I should work on not being so selfish and one sided like everything is her fault. She opened up to me and I should be so appreciative for that, it is not often that has happened. I also feel I am expecting so much and in return I am not very giving to her needs, work and situations.

Okay, so simply try to work on that since you're aware of it. Try to maintain good communication and be willing be vulnerable as well by letting her know when you're getting caught up in that past pain again. This way she will know what your moods swings are about --they will happen (speaking from experience 😄). That was why I suggested you do this outside of the relationship because it can get tricky, but I get the desire to try to work on it while you're involved.

I'm glad you understood my typo in my first post lol.

You're = she's