Cap hates Scorpio

I really have no idea where to take this.
Long story short, my cap bf seems to loathe my scorp besty. This includes her husband and their kids. I don't know. I really don't know.

If I talk to her he ALWAYS asks me to ask her why she hates him so much... Even though the hostility is all from his end.
If I try to point that out -I'm the bad guy. If I say she doesn't hate you she just wants to hear from me -I'm the bad guy.

He refuses to believe the anger is all his problem.
We always end up arguing about this and I don't even know what it's about?! 90% of the time I don't realise it's an argument until it's too late!! All I know is I have to walk on eggshells around him when it comes to this friend of mine...

He went out of his way when he first met them to criticise and put them down. Husband is a stay at home dad and she owns her own business, he told them the first time they met (they had us over for dinner) that she had emasculated her husband by working etc and setting a bad example for their children!!
Obviously, they had hurt feelings but they accepted my excuse that he had drunk too much.

Things just went downhill from there. In the nearly three years we've been together they've hung out three times at most. And each time he has gone out of his way to make them uncomfortable. I'm not kidding, he actually made her husband cry at the second meeting, insulting his manhood and his fathering skills.
I totally stood up for them and told him that was NOT OKAY but he gets SUPER DEFENSIVE LIKE I HAVE NEVER SEEN before and immediately plays the victim.

I think he's afraid of something but I don't know what they represent that makes him so lash-outy.
Any tips,on how to handle this? In reality I don't HAVE to handle it, I see her about once every six months maybe talk on the phone twice a year and they never have to see each other at all if they don't want to, Im just sickof it blowing up in my face and confusing the hell out of me when he gets this way about them.

Posted by CluelessCancer
whats the husbands sign and lol at your CAP boyfriend. He's crazy hilarious.

He's obviously scared of losing his manhood, his values are different, than what he sees present in your friends life, he doesn't want to end up in that situation.

Her hubs a virgo, they work well together cannot deny.
In fact, I thought they would hit it off but instead cap has been in attack mode from the day I intro'd them.
Yeh, I sense he is threatened by something- you may be right, he's projecting onto their life choices and thrusting it away violently. But, really reacting. It's so unusual for him.
I figured (obviously mistaken) that cappies Aqua Venus would mean he understood a less traditional family setup for example. She makes more money. Because of their arrangement they now own three homes and her hubby has turned his hobby into a personal business as well. DIY handman... They couldn't have done that if they'd stuck with hubby works 9-5 she raises the kids. No way.

He's normally a sphinx about judging people,keeping it to himself, not giving a fuck as long as they ain't him know what I mean?
I just wish he wouldn't make out like I'm fraternising with the enemy every time she pokes me on Facebook or watevs. Sheesh.

Posted by MilkySoft
I wanna see your boyfriends chart.

Hmmm, well cap sun obviously,
Scorp moon, Aqua Venus, Mars in Virgo, sag ascendant...
Ummm what else, Jupiter in cap, Neptune and Pluto libra...
Is that a breakdown you can work with? Lulz

Posted by CluelessCancer
I had a feeling you were going to say VIRGO.

Anyways cap men really value their "manhood," but him talking to them about it and making the husband cry, that's overkill.

Doesn't your boyfriend have social skills? Like not to berate individuals he's not even close too...??

For me right now i'm laughing, i find this whole situation hilarious, in fact if the cap did that to me and my husband, i'd laugh in his face, and tell him to frack off, but still funny....

I agree about the overkill and stuff, this is why I'm here it's extreme reaction...

He's not Mr Suave by any stretch of the imagination, he puts his foot in it all the time, but only around really close,trusted friends who know him super well.
He can be trusted to say out loud what ever people are thinking but won't say. I don't know how that works, he went to a great school -wealthy upper class parents- strong family background ties education all there, he's just prone to confrontation about the little things that don't matter *shrug* and isn't apologetic about it in the least.
That's what gets me, he's hurt her feelings more than anything but he says to me all the time he feels like she hates him and that when she and I are together we're stabbing him in the back or something.
Just really paranoid for some reason and I don't understand WWWHHHYYYYYY

Posted by blisss
I think there's another reason he doesn't like them and that hasn't been revealed. At the same time it sounds like they remind him of someone. I think its more of a personal issue he is having and he's just taking it out on them.

Look, all of this makes perfect sense too. So thanks for your input...
Personal issue is a big tick from me. I think that's spot on, I wish he wouldn't "take it out on them" it makes it very trying on my end. >_

Really?! Okay, that's interesting... Damnata just mentioned in another thread he's not lacking in tact he's just a dickwad...
But your saying it could be the Sagness?? It's not really an excuse tho is it... I mean, he was pretty mean, I don't kno why he chose my scorp but.
Honestly, I feel like it's very unfair to her... Like I said, it isn't something that needs to be dealt with urgently it's just something I want to fathom, to work out, why he distrusts her so and is so quick to flare.

It's really unlike him in every other regard. Behaviour wise.

Posted by Whatu
she probably looks at him in a way that makes his soul piss its pants a little bit.

Hahaha awww she is a tough cookie, but you gotta be!
Maybe it all boils down to basic chemistry, some people have it some don't....
They don't!!

Okay, we just spoke about this. Update- he doesn't trust her...
I told him the important thing was he can TRUST ME.
That's all that matters, and on this we are in agreement. Done and dusted.

Yeh I've heard about the legendary cap/ scorp connection...
Part of the reason why this was playing on my mind. I had hoped things would have turned out a little differently but unfortunately not the case.
It seems to be a natural emnity on his part.

Posted by exoskeleton
my guess is scorp intimidates cap, since he feels she emasculated her husband. she obviously has some independence and power. maybe cap doesn't want that influencing you, lol.

Ahhahaha
@_@
But seriously though...

Posted by duchessedenemours
Maybe he tried to have sex and got rejected.

Ummmmm no, that's.... Not it.... No... Nope, nah, nooooo....
It's a new idea though, um, thanks? Mixing it up there 😛

Okay, thanks. That's a cool perspective... I can see how that works.

Are you both still in counseling as you've mentioned in the past?

You shared a lot about this Cap, and the many issues he was having that you have endured.
Had you not shared that and reading this today, I'd say it's pretty disrespectful to you for him to behave this way to someone you care deeply for. She's your best friend, and since it's only once in a while you spend time with her and her husband, he needs to suck it up, and be a man.

How would he feel if you behaved this way with his friends, co-workers or family?
(I can answer that...)

"He went out of his way when he first met them to criticise and put them down. Husband is a stay at home dad and she owns her own business, he told them the first time they met (they had us over for dinner) that she had emasculated her husband by working etc and setting a bad example for their children!!
Obviously, they had hurt feelings but they accepted my excuse that he had drunk too much.

Things just went downhill from there. In the nearly three years we've been together they've hung out three times at most. And each time he has gone out of his way to make them uncomfortable. I'm not kidding, he actually made her husband cry at the second meeting, insulting his manhood and his fathering skills.
I totally stood up for them and told him that was NOT OKAY but he gets SUPER DEFENSIVE LIKE I HAVE NEVER SEEN before and immediately plays the victim."


^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^That is completely unacceptable behavior. Don't make excuses for him. He'll continue to do it because he knows he has you to back up his bad behavior. Wrong move imo.

Posted by wagtail

Long story short, my cap bf seems to loathe my scorp besty. This includes her husband and their kids. I don't know. I really don't know.

If I talk to her he ALWAYS asks me to ask her why she hates him so much...

If I say she doesn't hate you she just wants to hear from me -I'm the bad guy.

Does your friend talk negatively (not in a hostile way) about your bf? Do you go to her with any of your relationship problems?

The Capricorns I know are very outspoken and don't have the best tact/social skills, lol. So if your bf has insulted your bestie, her family AND made the Virgo husband cry... I don't know too many Scorpios who wouldn't have something to say/do about someone attacking them and their loved ones.

Lol at —sexual tension?? being the fail to response on this thread.... as if that's all Scorps are about. One of the few Scorpio generalizations embraced.

Wagtails Cap bf has a Scorp Moon and that's an aspect of knowing.

hey Whatu... do you want to "do" your friend?

Love the discussion here guys, thanks for running with it.
Some wisdom, some far out ideas too 🙂


hehe since there have been way too many responses for me to individually respond I will just say
- the speculation has been awesome -some humorous and some insightful.
All good though, so thank you for that!

I'm beyond working it out, I've made the decision to keep them separated, no issues there practically speaking so that's good...
Keeping us good is what matters, betwixt bestie and myself / boyfie and myself- it would be lovely to have a mingle but the reality is different. That's okay too.
I'm at work, if I get a chance for a more detailed response I shall come back
Cheers x

okay I HAVE RECEIVED THE ANSWER.
UNREAL,
I didn't think this was actually going to be satisfactorily resolved but Cap has cracked under pressure.
Mostly thanks to the back up from DXP so I owe you all a hi five.

I grilled him on the phone about WHY this situation was such a hot point for him, I said tell me what the goddam destruct button is with the Scorp or so help me...
And there you have it.

Apparently my Scorpgal had (and I do recall this conversation) asked me several years ago when she had moved to the back of nowhere-aka 'the country' and had her two little girls, she told me to quit my job and work for her as a live in nannie. Because I happen to be Aboriginal ie indigenous Australian she had made a joke (in poor taste I admit, but nothing I hadn't heard before and unintentionally offensive) about my skin colour, called me a nappy-head and said it was my place to serve her.
I laughed it off and obviously being straight forward with her had laughingly declined the offer - said something about being too good for it, aaaaand left it at that.

WELL, LET ME TELL YOU, MY CAPPY HAS HELD THAT AGAINST HER EVER SINCE.
He finds it to be so offensive that he has never been able to bring himself to like her and as a result has attacked everything about her way of life.
He refuses to apologise in any way shape or form, as far as he's concerned it revealed to him who she really was and I can't make him see it was a joke.
I had no idea Caps had such long grudges and hELd them SO STRONGLY...

Yeh it does make sense.
But the intensity it has provoked in him has been baffling til now... Now I understand, I find it lovely, but he really cant keep his dislike under wraps!
Anyway. I shall drop the topic, now I understand where he is coming from I shall keep quiet about it and just hang with her when I can and so on.

Yes, now I know 🙂
... a little more at ease, a little more understanding on my part...
I'm glad it was brought into the open.
I had completely forgotten that conversation, he just blurted it out, 'remember she said such and such, WELL THATS WHY'
etc etc
I appreciate the depth of his defense for me and of course no hard feelings, for me it's completely bygones and she would have no idea either if I was to broach it, it's so over from my perspective.
he's just a loyal bastard *le sigh/ le heart flutters*

Does your friend talk negatively (not in a hostile way) about your bf? Do you go to her with any of your relationship problems?

The Capricorns I know are very outspoken and don't have the best tact/social skills, lol. So if your bf has insulted your bestie, her family AND made the Virgo husband cry... I don't know too many Scorpios who wouldn't have something to say/do about someone attacking them and their loved ones.







I didnt get this before, yeh, no we don't talk shop (relationships) we talk kids, work and having fun...
Life's too short when we barely see each other to whine about our men! 😛

well that's awkward...

maybe underline feelings of possession at play there as well

I meant the comment made by the friend

Well, Dxp has made me look and reflect on the whole situation from a different angle.

Obviously, Cap's take on the interaction she and I had a few years ago and my overall friendship... well, now I realize he has had ONLY MY best interests at heart all along, I've scrutinized my relationship with her and made some discoveries.

I want to thank you all for being so objective about it.
For not jumping to conclusions straight away, and in particular on the Cap forum we got some great insights on the male Cap morals. I think I can say I've chosen the right guy and the Caps in general here really represented and backed him up. 🙂

Here on the Scorp board things got just as interesting, some rather left field theorizing and some equally thought provoking ideas.
I was led not to judge and to trust him first before leaping to her defense.
correctly indeed,
what I've learned is, when you and a Cap are on the same team... it's not fleeting, it's not just fair weather partnership, it's enduring, and a male Cap will NEVER COMPROMISE for your honors sake and that's a rare kind of wonderful.

Just wish it wasn't like pulling teeth to get him to admit it 😛