What planet/aspects makes you push people away?

Fear of getting too close, having walls up, sabotage or running when you catch too many feelings... is there a particular aspects or something in astrology that affects relationships in this way?

I know it sounds stupid but I think something is wrong with me and maybe if I can figure out where it's coming from, I can understand it better and work on it.

Posted by Waterbearerwearer

Hard mercury aspect to Uranus or pluto

I have mercury square uranus but i didn't think that one would be as bad as my venus sextile uranus or venus square Neptune. Those two seem to suck way more. Why does mercury aspecting uranus or pluto affect relationships?

Posted by s_i_e_r_r_a

virgo anything

I like my virgo bits to some degree. They keep my head out of the clouds but they are also problematic when it comes to feelings because it's such a logical and matter of fact sign. I over analyse what everything means or what everything is. I need to categorise people and emotions to understand them which is messed up

Coming from a person who is 100% walled up at all times, and has had the same friend circle for 10 years it all depends on the person you are associating with.

I’ve never had a true relationship in 30 years of my life. I’ve never trusted people, or let others into it. Recently I met a woman who has completely changed my way of thinking. For the first time I honestly feel like I could be with her, give her 101% of my love, and be completely happy.

In the end it all depends on the person. Out of billions of people it’s guaranteed there will be thousands who are mentally wired to sync with you perfectly. It’s just a matter of time, and if you want to find it. They say only those who try to find true love will ever find it. I’m actually starting to believe that.

Or in my circumstance, maybe it will find you.

Posted by Waterbearerwearer

Posted by Elissar18

Posted by Waterbearerwearer

Hard mercury aspect to Uranus or pluto

I have mercury square uranus but i didn't think that one would be as bad as my venus sextile uranus or venus square Neptune. Those two seem to suck way more. Why does mercury aspecting uranus or pluto affect relationships?

Square isn’t a hard orb

Uranus is unpredictable

If you have a fire merc in opposition to Uranus you’d be constantly changing your tune.

Disorientating and confusing in relos

Communication is how we relate to people so your merc is key

Venus is the energy in which we love

Pluto is the way we cycle through trials so if it’s not a friendly orb with merc chances are you’re stuck.

click to expand

Uranus aspects my sun, mercury and venus so is the one most aspecting my personal planets. Being unpredictable isn't that appealing for stable relationships and probably scares me when it comes to being tied down or losing independence. Pluto aspects my sun, mars, Neptune and ascendant so I guess I have that against me too because it probably means I'm nuts lol. I think i need a new chart.. 😕

Posted by Waterbearerwearer

Posted by Elissar18

Posted by Waterbearerwearer

Hard mercury aspect to Uranus or pluto

I have mercury square uranus but i didn't think that one would be as bad as my venus sextile uranus or venus square Neptune. Those two seem to suck way more. Why does mercury aspecting uranus or pluto affect relationships?

Ps Venus square Neptune indicates a predilection for rec drugs during sex.

click to expand

I've never been into drugs. Tried it but I've always been afraid of getting addicted and losing control so i avoided that path.

Posted by Waterbearerwearer

Posted by Elissar18

Posted by Waterbearerwearer

Posted by Elissar18

Posted by Waterbearerwearer

Hard mercury aspect to Uranus or pluto

I have mercury square uranus but i didn't think that one would be as bad as my venus sextile uranus or venus square Neptune. Those two seem to suck way more. Why does mercury aspecting uranus or pluto affect relationships?

Ps Venus square Neptune indicates a predilection for rec drugs during sex.

I've never been into drugs. Tried it but I've always been afraid of getting addicted and losing control so i avoided that path.

Did your parents have drug related issues?

Power to you btw.

click to expand

Mum abused prescription pills and my little brother abused everything except booze. He ended up with schizoaffective disorder and took his own life a few years ago. I used to think I could hear people's thoughts when I smoked weed so I figured I had a predisposition for mental illness so I stopped.

Posted by Waterbearerwearer

Posted by Elissar18

Posted by Waterbearerwearer

Posted by Elissar18

Posted by Waterbearerwearer

Posted by Elissar18

Posted by Waterbearerwearer

Hard mercury aspect to Uranus or pluto

I have mercury square uranus but i didn't think that one would be as bad as my venus sextile uranus or venus square Neptune. Those two seem to suck way more. Why does mercury aspecting uranus or pluto affect relationships?

Ps Venus square Neptune indicates a predilection for rec drugs during sex.

I've never been into drugs. Tried it but I've always been afraid of getting addicted and losing control so i avoided that path.

Did your parents have drug related issues?

Power to you btw.

Mum abused prescription pills and my little brother abused everything except booze. He ended up with schizoaffective disorder and took his own life a few years ago. I used to think I could hear people's thoughts when I smoked weed so I figured I had a predisposition for mental illness so I stopped.

We have similar stories

You know I rarely care on here but you’re actually coming across a very interesting and genuine person.

Your emotional intelligence isn’t subtle to a discerning mind and I think you want to be more than anything respected in a relo. Unfortunately there’s not a lot of it around. At all.

click to expand

Thank you. However, I have my moments.

I have a destiny book and it tells you about your karmic path based on your birthdate and year.. mine says I'm more preoccupied with gaining the respect of others than their love. So it's funny you say that. It's not the best way to be. Finding balance is important and I find that difficult. I've never been good at anything inbetween

Posted by FishAndChips

I think I found the culprit!

Moon square Venus

Do you relate?

Moon Square Venus

This indicates probably inner stress and tensions related to your social and intimate relationships; your emotions will be the battleground. These emotions will feel extremely powerful; and your fear of losing control over them may result in repressive behavior which tends to avoid relationships that awaken deeper emotional responses. Yet at the same time, you need this emotional involvement and those intense feelings. With your emotions and feelings being polarized, you often prefer to retreat from commitment, rejecting the personal obligations that may be required from relationship. These behavior patterns can be seen in a starker light at times when commitment is required in relationships. Because you refuse to acknowledge the depth of your feelings, deep-rooted fears begin to rise. These can include fear of losing freedom, fear of another's power over your emotions, and fear of experiencing love's transformative fires. Once someone begins to impose his or her needs, demands, and will on you, his / her expectations of your predictable behaviour often awakens a rebellious attitude within you. Your insecurity and fears result in contrary behavior that can create relationship conflict just when real progress could be made. Your reactionary drive for independence and your tendency to reject signs of possessive behaviour or demands for your exclusive loyalty may shatter any potentially restrictive relationship. While there may be valid grounds for rejecting such tendencies, your reaction mainly reflects inner fears and unresolved personal issues, and tends to be negative, resulting in heartbreak and disillusionment for yourself and others, and enforcing an increasingly bitter and cynical view of the nature of intimate affairs. Other behaviour patterns associated with this square include self-indulgence and sensuality. You may become involved with indiscriminate affairs and unsuitable partners as a consequence of lacking self-understanding, coupled with a deep need for relationships. Often, attempts at breaking free of threatening restrictions only propel you into other, equally unsatisfying relationships. If you adopt a more passive response to your relationship stresses - instead of taking the active and dominating role - you may experience others taking advantage of your initial trust, manipulating your emotions and needs, and using you as a support and foil for their own emotional tensions and confusions. Sometimes emotions blind you to the real feelings of a partner, until a situation occurs in which, to your surprise, you realize that their feelings are not as powerful as yours. This tendency toward illusions also spills over into your social relationships, where you often misinterpret the honesty and sincerity of others. You can lack understanding of their motivations, so that judgments are seriously affected. Yet this also springs from your lack of self-knowledge; getting to know yourself better will help you to understand others too, and this will enable you to avoid unsuitable relationships. By analyzing the types of people that attract you and the resulting types of relationship, you can expose your hidden needs and behavior patterns, and become aware of those unconscious traits which shape your choices. At some stages in your life, you may need to withdraw a little to gain these perspectives, especially when you are trapped in a repetitive whirl of failed relationships. Your needs are still urgent and pressing; but transforming attitudes through self-understanding may be crucially necessary. Certain patterns active in you are probably derived from childhood experiences and conditioning. The relationship with your parents may have been unsatisfactory, especially in shaping emotional responses, which is why you now have ambivalent and contradictory feelings of need and denial when commitment is expected. There may even be feelings of guilt and non-acceptance of your emotions. A withdrawal from relationship commitment could stem from a similar withdrawal of a parent from you during childhood. You may now unconsciously seek to punish a parent by rejecting others who try to get close to you. Choice of partner is extremely important, and the key to relationship success; but the art of choosing a suitable partner depends on self-knowledge, so that both are complementary and in essential harmony with each other. Your early choices are likely to be unwise; and any early partnership will probably run into troubled waters due to your inner confusions and unresolved issues. New perspectives on yourself and your needs may be achieved through a transformative period of relative isolation from relationships, allowing a pause to dissolve patterns through greater understanding; this can enable insight, emotional maturity, and greater independence. Personal therapy or relationship counseling could be important to progress in future partnerships. The main obstacle to relationship success and sustaining a love affair

Thank you. I don't think I've ever read that much into moon and venus aspects. I do relate, however I think my moon is in opposition to venus, not square. Which site did you get the interpretation from?

Posted by FishAndChips

What I notice is you have heavy Virgo. That’s a lot of Virgo energy. Virgo Mercury and Venus and a stellium in the 6th house. Not sure how that can relate to this, but maybe you don’t like others helping you, but you want to help them. So contradicting but you may not like people helping you so you push them away? My sister has venus in the 6th house, and this theme is common with her in matters of helping. She hates people doing things for her. She’d rather do it herself.

Also pushing people away. Im going to guess it’s maybe cause you don’t trust them? So you push them away because you either dont want to hurt them, or for them to hurt you, or because you have trust issues and you somehow are afraid to let people in to see your vulnerabilities.

With trust issues and actions that mars square pluto looks like the culprit here. Cause Pluto has to do with trust issues. Also possibly 12th house moon? I have that same placement, and myself find it hard to show my vulnerabilities so I don’t easily let others in. And if I do, I tend to regret it. So maybe a combination of both? It may depend on the context.

Yeah virgo venus is a tough one. I'll have a look into the pluto stuff. My moon sucks, my feelings are confusing and I can never articulate them.

Posted by FishAndChips

Posted by Waterbearerwearer

Posted by Elissar18

Fear of getting too close, having walls up, sabotage or running when you catch too many feelings... is there a particular aspects or something in astrology that affects relationships in this way?

I know it sounds stupid but I think something is wrong with me and maybe if I can figure out where it's coming from, I can understand it better and work on it.

You’re also fire dominant which can be difficult. You’re enthusiastic but not grounded.

She’s fire dominant? From the looks here it seems as though she may be Virgo dominant. So she can be quite grounded so ir seems.

click to expand

Fire is my dominant element (40% or so). I only have venus and mercury in earth signs. My earth, water and air is fairly close about 20% each. But i do have a lot going on in my 6th house so I think in terms of signs, virgo is my dominant one so I am grounded too. You're both right.