When do you say, I love you?

Just interested in on different perspectives. I've talked to some people who said it pretty quickly and others that waited 6 months-a year. I know some can FEEL it, but are maybe afraid and hold off on saying it for a bit to be sure. Others may confuse infatuation and say it within a week. My ex said it to me within a week of knowing me and I thought that was a red flag. The one I was with for 4 years said it after 2 months although we were also 18! lol.

Just curious on where others opinion on this is. How long before you said it? I know it should be "when it feels right," but sometimes we hold back if that feeling comes TOO soon and rule out infatuation.

Do you think the guy should say it first?

I guess if it's TOO soon, you don't really know the person or what you love. First few months are very infatuation.

I believe in being cautious, but not fully holding back either

I'd say, yes. Let the guy say it first. Because even though in a long lasting relationship it's important that both people say it to each other, the first time should be the dude. What's to gain if the gal says it first?

She'll appreciate him saying it first more and so will he. Let him be the "hero".
You know what I mean.


I think it's on a case by case basis but no earlier than a month or two. It's not as "special" otherwise.

Just my random opinion.

Yeah I guess you're right. Thats how I feel too. I could also see someone being cautious after being alone so long snd wanting to make sure they aren't just getting swept up in the infatuation. Thats why many get married within a year etc

It doesn't, but If I had a dollar for every couple getting married within 6 months-a year

Posted by b1tchcrafts
I love you does not hold any meaning to me.
Words and promises do not have any value.
Especially if someone told you they love you while doing the complete opposite of loving you.

Don't say you love me unless you're gonna ride or die for me.
Someone I was seeing told me they loved me but I sort of brushed it off because you saying you love me has no inherent value.
Write up a contract or something.

It's been awhile since I told someone new I love them.

Now this makes perfect sense here. I've only said I love you twice. I feel it for my new guy, and I've had to catch myself saying it and restrain. I do not want to until he does. It hasn't been long at all, we got together in Jan but we've known each other awhile. He says he feels it too but wants it to be the right moment and make sure he's just not caught up in the moment and it will have every true emotion behind it. He's been alone a lot so it's been hard to get out of that mentality; his longest relationship was a year and I'm his first serious relationship in years. He hadn't put much thought into dating and did his own thing. But I can tell he is head over heels the way he looks at me. He remembers little subtle things like hearing me bitching that I ripped my panty hose and needed new ones and then showing up with that and sn ice scraper (which I also needed) when he met me at lunch. Remembering the first time he saw me when he was 16. Not just saying the sweetest things, but showing his absolute devotion day by day. He's been the only guy I don't have to get onto for not talking to me enough, being sweet/affectionate enough etc, it's all just so natural. I know he feels it, he just needs time. Why Rush it? Many people are quick to get the words but don't have the actions to bsck it up. My ex said it right away. Said it the night before he broke up with me by a text and never said another word also. It really does mean a lot, I just don't understand why people throw it around so loosely. It can be soon, but REALLY mean it.

Posted by b1tchcrafts
I think when I love in love again.
I'm gonna write a gonna write up a contract.

"I'm nothing without you.
so don't fuck me over or I'll have a piece of you in a jar forever.

signature/date ___________

ps love you 😉
I'm fucking serious."

Lolol

Posted by tiziani
As soon as I want.

day 1 if possible.

I had a lot of family that died in Beirut. No point waiting.

This!!!!! Ugh 😢


Sorry to hear that, Tizani.

Posted by tiziani
As soon as I want.

day 1 if possible.

I had a lot of family that died in Beirut. No point waiting.

All the +1's, tiz.


🙂

Posted by Ssupes
Who would say they loved someone and not show It? I'm talking about why I said it not being said to me. I have no idea if when they say it that it's genuine. All I know for sure is me and how I feel.

Happens all the time! So many people just loosely throw around the world and just feel like they need to say it. They'll say they love you, but their actions say otherwise and are do quick to give up on you/end a relationship at the drop of a hat despite that. It seems like many in this generation ditch when the going gets tough

I don't say it unless I mean it. Usually it takes me 6 months or a year before I decide if I really mean it. I have to determine if I'm willing to deal with the pros and consequences of saying it. Sometimes you hear it back, sometimes you don't, sometimes you get dumped. I have to be prepared for any of those results.

I've only ever said it to three men in my life (besides family) - my first love, my ex husband and my current boyfriend.

With the current boyfriend it took 8 months for me to say it and it took him another 8 months to say it back. I was prepared not to hear it back and I was okay with it (even if it did drive me crazy a little bit lol!).

Everyone has their own time line and each relationship is different. One relationship you might say it in a month, another relationship you're more comfortable saying it after a year. Depends on the people involved.

My advice, if you feel it and mean it, then say it. Worse case scenario is they dump you, but it gives you the freedom of moving on instead of sitting in a neutral relationship that is going nowhere meanwhile your feelings get deeper and it hurts more when it ends.

If someone said it too soon, though, it would scare me off, especially if I feel like they don't know the whole me yet.

Posted by Ssupes
That's just someone that's pretty insecure and trying to keep that person in their life. I can tell when someone loves me back. I can also tell when someone is faking it. It's pretty noticeable when they do certain things for you, and you only. When they stop doing all those little things the love is fading/gone.

See his actions showed it and then they completely vanished, like a sudden change of heart but there was no indication of it until he dumped me. Then he turned into a horrible person and told mutual friends I owed him all this money, deleted me on Facebook and posted a celebratory single status etc

Right before I cum and I already know ima sleep with someone else as soon as I leave her presence

So sweet!!!

Posted by Rambunctious76

Posted by starlover

Posted by nov13thscorp
Right before I cum and I already know ima sleep with someone else as soon as I leave her presence

That isn't love...

Yeah that's cos it was Scorpio sarcasm.lol

click to expand

lol Yes it was..

I try to make time boundaries but that doesn't work with me. I've only been in love with two people. First one I said it within a few weeks and the second one I said it at around 5 months.

love is a spiritual state not an emotion.

IDC.

but not in the first two months.

Let's have our first break-up and make-up. then we can see what we have.

You should say it whenever you're ready AND once you've determined that you actually mean it

...meaning you didn't just suddenly think you love them b/c you were in a moment of lust or cloud 9...but b/c there is enough there for you to emotionally & logically come to that decision & actually mean it.

Everybody's definition of 'love' is different. Everybody doesn't fall in love for the same reasons or at the same time. People fall in love based on finally seeing what it is they were looking to see...whether it be the other person's specific personality treat, actions or way they make you feel about yourself...You may prove yourself to me before I prove myself to you or give you what you needed to see in order to make an authentic decision to actually 'love' me. And if that's the case, then of course I'd say it 1st by default.

Everybody's requirements for which it takes them to fall in love with someone are different...that's why most people have a different pace than the other. If being patient & trusting is something that you offer when you start loving someone, prove it.

It may make you feel better to hear someone say that they love you back, but realistically, most people don't actually fall in love for the exact same reason, at the exact same time. There's always someone who went 1st...who felt it 1st.

When you feel that you truly mean it, say it. And have confidence when you say it. If you're not confident then don't say it. If you think so but aren't too sure, then it's not love yet, and that's ok, BUT don't say it. Say it based on when YOU're ready, & not when you think they're ready to hear it.

The problem is that so many "I love you's" nowadays are rehearsed, staged & not spoken in a way that reflects the person's true feelings. Everybody wants to fall in love & have a happily ever after, but then they get scared, can't handle vulnerability & have no confidence in their own instincts...

some of these answers i cant tell if its a joke or not :/

I prefer the guy to say it first. But ofc if nothing happens and I still feel for the guy, I'l probably burst out in tears at some point crying "WHY dont you LOVE Me— Cause I love you"

I am so dramatic lol (scorp venus)

But if I can sense a guy who want to say "I love you" and I can sense that I dont love him back, I make sure that we quit before that awkward situation would ever happen.
But it probably wont, cause I am very loving myself, and I easily fall in love 🙂

When it's real
When I know the feelings are solid and not fleeting.