Would you choose love or respect in a relationship

Which one do you value most?
To have a partner or friend that loves you or would you rather to be respected above all things?

Weird question.

When you truly love someone you respect them...

It's not a choice to make. Aim higher?

These days its either one or the other.
I would rather put my foot up somebody's ass to get the respect I deserve..The love thing can come at a close second.

To make things a bit interesting lets say the relationship or friendship(whateva) ain't "harmonious"but you would like it to be.Would you rather be loved and mildly respected or respected and mildly love?Or neither? Not every relationship is smooth you know.

Love above everything, however crazy and disastrous

Posted by djbuck1
So let me get this straight, "He's a hapless moron, but I just love him!"

When you say it like that it sounds so bad omygod.(probably is) Still I strongly stand by it -
One still should never accept to be disrespected or treated badly, but because you love someone you will try to work on it together. Also there is a difference in desperately holding onto someone because you think no one else wants you and love

Respect comes first... And then love. You can't have one without the other.

Posted by djbuck1

Posted by Bambii

Posted by djbuck1
So let me get this straight, "He's a hapless moron, but I just love him!"

When you say it like that it sounds so bad omygod.(probably is) Still I strongly stand by it -
One still should never accept to be disrespected or treated badly, but because you love someone you will try to work on it together. Also there is a difference in desperately holding onto someone because you think no one else wants you and love

I wasn't referring to your comment. I was referring to the original post.

click to expand

oh, okay my fault.

I love no one more than myself so I rather get the respect than the love because people can love you but not really respect you and people can respect you and not love you at all

Love without respect ... is that even love?

And what djbuck said of course.

Posted by Montgomery
Love without respect ... is that even love?

And what djbuck said of course.

Look a little closer at the majority of relationship posts on dxp and tell me what you see.
People will come and say he or she loves me because either they say so or did something to demonstrate such "love".Yet those same people will turn around and cheat, lie, manipulate or do something shady and messed up to these same people. So, where is the respect there?

**Yet those same people that "love"them that is.

Posted by djbuck1
Relationships on DXP?

If that's your standard, you're in for some rude surprises. This place is The Dysfunctional Relationship Showcase.

LMAO I'm still relatively new on this forum so yes I've been observing the "relationships posts"..

Maybe its just me but I cant help but see the act of love and respect as two separate things.

But as I said maybe it's just me.
I don't want to be involved with anyone that don't respect me in either relationship or friendship

Respect me first
Love me later is my motto!

Posted by KVZZMIR11
This thread is inspired by the Great Niccolo Machiavelli

He believed it was better for the Prince to be respected than to be loved.

I'm gonna have to Google this person
Who knows maybe he's a Cancer Sun
Taurus Ascendant and Moon like maself *wink

I want both and it can happen. Just have to have patience. I am a Taurus. Patience is what I value. So love and respect are two things I need and want out of friendship and relationship..

Posted by djbuck1
E 'meglio essere temuti che amati, se non si pu?_ essere al tempo stesso.

It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.

That sounds sad 😢

Posted by deathnirvana
Relationships are meaningless.

You and I both know that's not true.
Tell me when are you gonna drop the "I'm dark so I don't care about much act".You not fooling anyone with that non sense you know.
I know there is some compassion in that "dark little heart" of yours.

Posted by djbuck1
So let me get this straight, "He's a hapless moron, but I just love him!"

Pretty much...

Posted by FrostAndBite

Posted by djbuck1
I have a pretty good record predicting couples that are not going to work out irl, and lack of respect by either party is one of the surest signs that the relationship has an expiration date.

This is really true. Even if it takes years, decades, eventually constant disrespect catches up to a couple.

click to expand

AGREED!!!

Respect b/c if they respect me, I would say that is loving me.

Respect.

Why? B/c love with and of itself will not carry a relationship on in the long term. Respect does. Besides, for some, the secret to a lasting relationship/marriage is in their ability to fall in love with that person over & over again. And sometimes in between times, love may have been lost for awhile for whatever reason. But if respect never left, there will always be a chance for them to reunite & come back together romantically.

You can respect me without loving me. But you can't love me without respecting me. I personally don't buy the version of love that claims love can happen AND succeed without respect. I'm surprised & disappointed in those who try to sell you a shitty version of what love really is.

Respect involves integrity even when the love has been lost. It's a lot easier to recover & get that 'love' back when the respect never voided out.

It's not that people don't work out b/c they stopped loving each other. It's that they stopped getting along or can't seem to work things out b/c they stopped respecting each other.

Respect will take you a lot further in other areas of life too. I don't need for my boss to love me. I need him/her to respect me. I don't need my in laws to love me. I need them to respect me. And the list can go on & on.

Posted by djbuck1
I have a pretty good record predicting couples that are not going to work out irl, and lack of respect by either party is one of the surest signs that the relationship has an expiration date.

+1

Posted by crabRiot
...
Look a little closer at the majority of relationship posts on dxp and tell me what you see.
People will come and say he or she loves me because either they say so or did something to demonstrate such "love".Yet those same people will turn around and cheat, lie, manipulate or do something shady and messed up to these same people. So, where is the respect there?

I suppose this is why people come to dxp for advice. Without realizing it, or being able to articulate it exactly, the respect factor is what is most missing. Since when one says they love you, respect is expected. You can't really have one without the other in intimate relationships (as others have said).

ah, ok, I didn't read past page 1 of this thread...