I have a very hard time meeting people and going on dates. It could be because I'm gay and shy in a somewhat small sized city. I have only ever been in one relationship, but it didn't work out. He would get upset with me that I didn't want to have sex with him (his lack of hygiene and sedentary life style seriously turned me off, and I tried telling him but he didn't really try to fix it), so I decided after that relationship that I need to be attracted to the person I'm with (I wasn't fully attracted to him when I met him, but I thought that I could be a better person and give it a try, I did end up falling in love with him though because he really was a great person.) I've been trying to work on some issues (one of those is that I used to drink quite a bit to socialize and cope, but learned that it's unhealthy; I've probably ruined many prospects because of it) to help attract the type I want (working on my confidence, body, health, mind, school, career), so it feels like a blow to the ego when I go out and have nobody approach me (like literally, nobody talks to me, and I've been given the cold shoulder for trying to approach others). I've had dates since breaking up with him three years ago, but I've been ghosted by guys I thought where we had a mutual attraction, or dated sketchy guys that scared me away. I've been doing better lately, but it still hurts when I try to initiate something and am rejected most of the time. I'm curious though, does anybody else think that there is something wrong with them that they feel like they are going to be alone forever? I have Virgo Venus and Jupiter square my Gemini Mars.My sun is Leo, Virgo asc, Pisces moon. My Aquarius Saturn is opposite my Leo mercury. Idk...this is my first post
