An never growing child!!! I'm so tired of this!!

Arg I had to bring this out somewhere...

My dad went back to his country about 15 months ago. He decided to go back because his mother was very ill. Anyways he got his journalist job there.

A little description about my dad:

First off he is a Leo, Cancer moon and Sag rising and his Venus is in Virgo.

A little history:
We first got to Canada about 16 yrs ago. My dad, my mom and I. My dad has always taken the credit to have brought us here but after a while it gets old. Anyways, my mom and I adapted well to the life here but I couldn't say so much about my dad. I mean he became everything but successful. He developped alcohol addiction (he used to drink a bit before but still reasonable), when we got to Canada...it went overboard...he spent most of our family's money to provide his alcohol and would say that he was entitled to that money just as much as us.

Anyways to make a long story short, I have learned to never count on him. I think that the last time that I got something from him was when I was 12 or 13. From then on I refused his gifts because I knew that down the road he would be needing that money back and it was true, but yet I always find myself there to help him and give him money.

Now the deal is:
While in our country of origin, he got majorly burned. 2 months after the injury which he didn't tell us about until we found out from family, he had severe 2nd degree burn and a 3rd degree limit to 4 degree burn on the left leg. He is receiving treatment in our country for the 2nd degree burnt areas however doctors are talking to get him a skin graft.

So he has been jobless for the length of his medical recovery and in our country there is no such thing as social assistance, so also moneyless...obviously being him he borrowed money from his friends...now he wants me to pay him a plane fare so that he can get treated over here and then go back...the truth is that I have no motivation to pay for a $ 1200 plane airfaire for him...

Why?
Because he was never there for me
Because he never paid for anything for me
Because he has hurt me too much with his drinking antics
Because now he is smoking up to 2 packs of cigarette per day and justifies it by saying that it relaxes him.

My dad THINKS
- he knows it all
- he is overly generous with everyone and expects to be treated the same if not better.
- everyone loves and admires him

...ohhh sack it I am so annoyed by this situation...

I hate his Leo, his Cancer & his Sag

society has changed without kids even knowing that these days your not expected to rely on ur parents all that matters is you....dont pay for u dad to come back over

you 24 years old and ur getting ur life in order in this day and age its stupid for a parent to expect his kid to fork out money like that

he is ur family however and astrolgy has nothing to do with it...its important to be there for him and help him out somehow

Well here's the deal. If your answer to his requests was a flat out NO, you wouldn't have written the post. It sounds like you're kind of strattling the fence about all of this & for UNDERSTANDABLE reasons.

1st off, never forget that he's your father. I know that's the cliche thing to say, but it's true; we only get 1. It's understandable that you're still harping over some of the decisions & circumstances he's put your family through, as well as himself. BUT in this case, it sounds like his issues now have nothing to do with his injuries. Sounds like what's going on has nothing to do with his previous circumstances.

Point is, he's sick & needs help. Now, if he was still drinking and/or engaging in habbits that encourage him to continue going down the wrong path, it'd be understandable to say, "HELL NO!" when he asked you for a plane ticket. If you feel that he'll really use your money for the benefit of his own healthcare, then I'd say go ahead & help him out any way you can. No matter how things are, you can't change the past & although it's easier said than done to forgive & move on, you DO however have to accept things as they really are, & especially since you're now grown & I'm assuming you don't want your hurt/bitterness from your father to spill out into your relationships with others, especially men.

Him smoking cigarrettes isn't really that big of a deal compared to him being an alcoholic. Hell, honey half the country is addicted to cigarrettes so if there were ever a battle to choose wisely, the cigarrettes one is kind of besides the point. No child wants to see their parent(s) smoking, BUT if you're going to reach out & help him do it from the heart & not only on the terms that he lives his life exactly the way/fashion you want him to. And I say that b/c even though YES, he owes you BIG TIME, this situation with his burns isn't about you.

It comes down to this: Will you be content with you not helping him, in terms of remembering this situation long-term down the road? Will your conscious eat you alive if you don't help him? And hey, it's okay to feel guilty or to feel dedicated to your own father REGARDLESS of the hurt he's done to you & your family b/c after all he IS your father & you can't ever replace him. If your answer to those ?'s are NO then do what you've got to do & worry about "fixing" (if possible) your other issues with him later. Right now this is about his burns, & you harping over the past and/or looking down on

......Looking down on his current living circumstances won't change the fact that he needs help/healthcare now.

I understand where you're coming from though. It's kind of hard for you to go out of your way to support and/or be there for someone that showed you no mercy throughout your childhood. Hell, our parents teach us to walk away from & never look back when it coems to any other people in our lives (outside of family) that put us through the same kinds of things, so..they have to understand that it's even harder to forgive family members especially since they are supposed to already "know better" & should be the 1st ones if anybody to step up to the plate & make sure their own family/kids have the best/easiest life possible.

1 one hand, you NOT paying for his healthcare or expenses won't change the past or take away all the hurt you're harboring. BUT on the other hand, the hurt/your past won't go away if you do help him out either.

Now if you have alot to lose by helping him with health expenses, then of course you've got to look out for yourself. And as with anyone, it's okay to help BUT you've gotta make sure that you helping someone else doesn't cause you to fall down and/or get into a financial mess yourself. Bitter or not, you've got to look out for you. If you helping him with the expenses will drain your pockets or cause financial hardship for you then that's def. something to take into consideration, BUT if not then I think this should be the 1 time you really reflect & think about things. Don't NOT pay for his healthcare just to prove a point b/c honey this man is probably half way through his lifetime; he's probably NOT going to change. So all you can do is accept the reality & the cards you were dealt & try to cope. As the saying goes, "YOU CAN'T CURE LIFE, YOU MANAGE IT"

Wait, did you just bash your own father for needing help and you are here asking us for assistance in helping you figure something out?


Apples don't fall far from trees, eh?

" .. he spent most of our family's money to provide his alcohol and would say that he was entitled to that money just as much as us."



Are you the one who provided this money? Did you earn it?

I'll bet he earned it ... and second, why would you even question him about entitlement?


It's his fucking money in the first place.


Scorpios !!!!! They think they are alot, turns out they are very little.

You shouldn't help him, you should let him suffer .... all the while, you should continue to think you are better than him.


I'll wave to you down below in hell.

@Pecsa..it's amazing how people like you claim to hate "assumptions" yet you literally just came to an "assumption" and/or "conclusion" about me just merely based on my response to a post. You just did what you just claimed you hated that I did lol.

And you're right about me not always asking questions. 1, don't think I'm not aware that there is ALWAYS more to the story when someone shares their story on this website. Depending on the situation that's shared, sometimes I'll ask further questions & sometimes I won't. At the end of the day, how much the poster wants us to know is on THEM. It's not MY responsibility to know OR to ask of everything that is going on.

If this post was all the poster wanted me to know then I literally base my opinion on what I've been given. Of course I'm not always right, nor do I ever/always get the whole story or atleast both sides, BUT I do try to get a glimpse of the situation based on the little that's been shared with me. Should I really feel bad for that? If your answer is yes, then sorry to tell ya but I don't feel bad.

And hey, if you don't like my comments, don't read them. If you think I'm that arrogant then spare yourself of my arrogant comments. Quit torturing yourself ;~P

now now guys.....lets just say your all arrogant together and its ok to be on this site.....makes thing interesting

^^I knew you were referring to P-Angel...
LOL, oops Krys :/

Posted by brianafay
^^I knew you were referring to P-Angel...
LOL, oops Krys :/

Yep, that was a mistake.