krysrenee7
@krysrenee7
17 Years5,000+ Posts
Comments: 0 · Posts: 8735 · Topics: 522
Are you this person?
Yea I can be but most of the time im not heartbroken when I am single lol
relationships bring out the worst in me it seems./
I can be fine single and then when i get with someone all my insecurities and fears come flooding back.
relationships bring out the worst in me it seems./
I can be fine single and then when i get with someone all my insecurities and fears come flooding back.
Thats the only reason i can go such long periods with out anyone. cuz I hate the anxiety and bs that comes from connecting with someone.
mmmm Scorpio full moon... undoubtedly every one is emotional right now... just breath...
I think that everyone these days is trying to put off a perfect image of themselves to the world... and then they except the world to be perfect for them and they will get what they want...
"Who ever told you life would be easy?"
It is times like this that you should honor the challenge and laugh to yourself... and say in a year what will this issue you matter I will live on regardless because I don't give up on "me."
Everyone has trust issues... you are really not alone...
Think of it like this fly or fall...
If a baby chick can get up the nerve to jump out of a nest or it is normal for there mother to push them out... in order to fly... which is really a mater of life or death... because all there is besides that is fall...
Have the courage to stand up for what you need in your life... and if you have trust issues try to deal with them but try to be rational to the person you are dating, seeing or what ever... after all they did not do it... In fact if they seem to much like a man that was like that step lightly but make sure it is not just the feeling you are scared of...
PM
I think that everyone these days is trying to put off a perfect image of themselves to the world... and then they except the world to be perfect for them and they will get what they want...
"Who ever told you life would be easy?"
It is times like this that you should honor the challenge and laugh to yourself... and say in a year what will this issue you matter I will live on regardless because I don't give up on "me."
Everyone has trust issues... you are really not alone...
Think of it like this fly or fall...
If a baby chick can get up the nerve to jump out of a nest or it is normal for there mother to push them out... in order to fly... which is really a mater of life or death... because all there is besides that is fall...
Have the courage to stand up for what you need in your life... and if you have trust issues try to deal with them but try to be rational to the person you are dating, seeing or what ever... after all they did not do it... In fact if they seem to much like a man that was like that step lightly but make sure it is not just the feeling you are scared of...
PM
After reading this also you should feel so alive with emotions running high...
Just think your life could be boring...
😉
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Just think your life could be boring...
😉
PM
Nope, if anything I am an over sharer...about everything. I know my last relationship did a number on me. I'm over her, but not over the effects of everything. I recognize that, so I don't date (as if it were my option 😄). I thought about it all, and for now, I'm better off avoiding all that mess.
I remembered being done wrong by a friend right after my mom died. What she did was so petty & unlike anything I'd expect from her.
She couldn't have betrayed me at a worse time! It was 1 of the worst times of my life & although everyone naturally assumed I was devastated & a little fragile, I was EXTRA disappointed in her for being so wrong at such a time.
Would it have still been wrong had she done it at any other point in my life? Well yeah lol But my expectations for her & others are a lot higher when I'm fragile. I expected for them to know better. Not walk on eggshells around me, but know better.
Kind of like toning things down or being a little bit more gentle when you're interacting with someone who's going through a lot. Not all people are willing to turn their inner "azzhole" off when it's needed.
Of all the people to pick on when you feel like being manipulative, selfish or just downright petty, I find it interesting that people in those "moods" tend to pick on the 1 person who especially doesn't need any sh*****t from others at the time lol
B/c of the timing of her betrayal, I choose to end the friendship & haven't spoken to her since. If someone will betray you & not be there for you when your own parent dies, there's no way you can consider that a real friendship! Loyalty is mainly proven in those tough situations. You can't swear you're a patient person if you have no patience when it's time to prove that you're patient lol
Had she done what she did at any other time in my life, I probably would've still put some distance b/w us, BUT probably still kept the friendship, but when someone puts in the effort to F up when they know you're all F'd up emotionally, they immediately deserve the boot. Can't kick someone when they're already down.
At least that's my opinion anyways.
She couldn't have betrayed me at a worse time! It was 1 of the worst times of my life & although everyone naturally assumed I was devastated & a little fragile, I was EXTRA disappointed in her for being so wrong at such a time.
Would it have still been wrong had she done it at any other point in my life? Well yeah lol But my expectations for her & others are a lot higher when I'm fragile. I expected for them to know better. Not walk on eggshells around me, but know better.
Kind of like toning things down or being a little bit more gentle when you're interacting with someone who's going through a lot. Not all people are willing to turn their inner "azzhole" off when it's needed.
Of all the people to pick on when you feel like being manipulative, selfish or just downright petty, I find it interesting that people in those "moods" tend to pick on the 1 person who especially doesn't need any sh*****t from others at the time lol
B/c of the timing of her betrayal, I choose to end the friendship & haven't spoken to her since. If someone will betray you & not be there for you when your own parent dies, there's no way you can consider that a real friendship! Loyalty is mainly proven in those tough situations. You can't swear you're a patient person if you have no patience when it's time to prove that you're patient lol
Had she done what she did at any other time in my life, I probably would've still put some distance b/w us, BUT probably still kept the friendship, but when someone puts in the effort to F up when they know you're all F'd up emotionally, they immediately deserve the boot. Can't kick someone when they're already down.
At least that's my opinion anyways.
I swear some people have the worst timing!
Posted by krysrenee7
I swear some people have the worst timing!
Life is not about your timing... I am sorry to hear about the passing... the grand cross... if it was not to long ago did this for many people... It was semi fated... if it was...
Although you are more emotional now then you normally would be we can't control timing of issues... I am not saying forget about what happened... I am saying to not hold on to the issue and not find forgiveness... It is ok to say that you don't want to deal with the situation now... but will later... Try to forgive or it will only push you in the darkness more...
As well as in times like this I know it is hard to think we are growing but in reality you are... because you will be stronger from this...
—Wisdom comes through suffering.
Trouble, with its memories of pain,
Drips in our hearts as we try to sleep,
So men against their will
Learn to practice moderation.
Favours come to us from gods.??
?? Aeschylus, Agamemnon
PM
@Pisces: That's the thing, I'm a very forgiving person, but some things are deal breakers. And deal breaker for me = done. If I had've shared what this "friend" did, I'm sure you'd understand why I decided to end the friendship.
I forgave her right after it happened. But I don't believe that you have to stick around just to prove a point that you're not a grudge holder.
There is such a thing as kicking someone when they're already down. And If a person knows that you're down, but yet kicks you anyways, they are not worthy of my friendship. We all make mistakes & you're right, everybody's timing won't be mine, but when I'm going through the worst part of my life, I expect for those closest to me to understand that.
Not only do I not appreciate people hurting or betraying me when I'm in a good place in life, but I especially don't appreciate it when they know I'm in a bad place at the time they decided to betray me.
I stay away from people who kick you when you're down. And I don't apologize for that. I have high standards for my friendships b/c I don't use the term "friend" loosely. I've had 10 best friends since high school & she's the only 1 I'm not longer cool with. Of course my other friends & I have bumped heads or fallen out over dumb things since then, BUT not once have any of us done anything deal breaking to each other. And I would never expect someone to consider me a valuable asset to their life if I went around betraying them & using the "you should forgive everybody" line as if they're obligated to be in my life. Friendship is a luxury.
I still love her as a person & I've forgiven her, but I'm loving her from a distance. You can't have standards when things are all good, but then lose your backbone just b/c things get rough. There has to be boundaries...a line that won't be crossed...deal breakers. Loyalty is about what you WON'T do to someone. Is what it is.
I forgave her right after it happened. But I don't believe that you have to stick around just to prove a point that you're not a grudge holder.
There is such a thing as kicking someone when they're already down. And If a person knows that you're down, but yet kicks you anyways, they are not worthy of my friendship. We all make mistakes & you're right, everybody's timing won't be mine, but when I'm going through the worst part of my life, I expect for those closest to me to understand that.
Not only do I not appreciate people hurting or betraying me when I'm in a good place in life, but I especially don't appreciate it when they know I'm in a bad place at the time they decided to betray me.
I stay away from people who kick you when you're down. And I don't apologize for that. I have high standards for my friendships b/c I don't use the term "friend" loosely. I've had 10 best friends since high school & she's the only 1 I'm not longer cool with. Of course my other friends & I have bumped heads or fallen out over dumb things since then, BUT not once have any of us done anything deal breaking to each other. And I would never expect someone to consider me a valuable asset to their life if I went around betraying them & using the "you should forgive everybody" line as if they're obligated to be in my life. Friendship is a luxury.
I still love her as a person & I've forgiven her, but I'm loving her from a distance. You can't have standards when things are all good, but then lose your backbone just b/c things get rough. There has to be boundaries...a line that won't be crossed...deal breakers. Loyalty is about what you WON'T do to someone. Is what it is.
@Pisces: I def. understand where you're coming from though. Trust me, I've learned the value of picking and choosing your battles. And I'm 1 of the most forgiving people ever!!! I know that we all make mistakes, but in the same way I'd leave my husband if he even hit me one time, my standards are just as high in my friendships.
People lose respect for you when they use you as a punching bag (not literally lol) & see that you keep taking it.
And unfortunately, once some people know that you're undoubtedly loyal, they take that for granted. If someone thinks they can do anything to you & get away with it, using the "you're supposed to be my ride or die" line to fool me into believing that I don't deserve better when I really do, then that's a setup for disaster. Human nature I guess.
I'm loyal but I'm not a doormat. I'm not in my marriage & def. not in my friendships.
People lose respect for you when they use you as a punching bag (not literally lol) & see that you keep taking it.
And unfortunately, once some people know that you're undoubtedly loyal, they take that for granted. If someone thinks they can do anything to you & get away with it, using the "you're supposed to be my ride or die" line to fool me into believing that I don't deserve better when I really do, then that's a setup for disaster. Human nature I guess.
I'm loyal but I'm not a doormat. I'm not in my marriage & def. not in my friendships.
yes i definitely am that person. BUT on my road to maturity, i've tried to think less of myself and more of the whole picture... this post does remind me of a part of david foster wallace's speech...
"The point here is that I think this is one part of what teaching me how to think is really supposed to mean. To be just a little less arrogant. To have just a little critical awareness about myself and my certainties. Because a huge percentage of the stuff that I tend to be automatically certain of is, it turns out, totally wrong and deluded. I have learned this the hard way, as I predict you graduates will, too.
Here is just one example of the total wrongness of something I tend to be automatically sure of: everything in my own immediate experience supports my deep belief that I am the absolute centre of the universe; the realest, most vivid and important person in existence. We rarely think about this sort of natural, basic self-centredness because it's so socially repulsive. But it's pretty much the same for all of us. It is our default setting, hard-wired into our boards at birth. Think about it: there is no experience you have had that you are not the absolute centre of. The world as you experience it is there in front of YOU or behind YOU, to the left or right of YOU, on YOUR TV or YOUR monitor. And so on. Other people's thoughts and feelings have to be communicated to you somehow, but your own are so immediate, urgent, real."
so i definitely used to think entirely of just myself and my past/current issues. i still of course do... but it makes less of an impact in terms of trying to build something with someone that i truly like. as i grow to be less self-centered, the more self-aware i am of my issues... which in turn allows me to deal with them to the point where i don't expect my partner to walk on eggshells around me... if they even have to.
"The point here is that I think this is one part of what teaching me how to think is really supposed to mean. To be just a little less arrogant. To have just a little critical awareness about myself and my certainties. Because a huge percentage of the stuff that I tend to be automatically certain of is, it turns out, totally wrong and deluded. I have learned this the hard way, as I predict you graduates will, too.
Here is just one example of the total wrongness of something I tend to be automatically sure of: everything in my own immediate experience supports my deep belief that I am the absolute centre of the universe; the realest, most vivid and important person in existence. We rarely think about this sort of natural, basic self-centredness because it's so socially repulsive. But it's pretty much the same for all of us. It is our default setting, hard-wired into our boards at birth. Think about it: there is no experience you have had that you are not the absolute centre of. The world as you experience it is there in front of YOU or behind YOU, to the left or right of YOU, on YOUR TV or YOUR monitor. And so on. Other people's thoughts and feelings have to be communicated to you somehow, but your own are so immediate, urgent, real."
so i definitely used to think entirely of just myself and my past/current issues. i still of course do... but it makes less of an impact in terms of trying to build something with someone that i truly like. as i grow to be less self-centered, the more self-aware i am of my issues... which in turn allows me to deal with them to the point where i don't expect my partner to walk on eggshells around me... if they even have to.
I will come back... I think you miss understood me... I would not be so worried about your x friend if you want to go that far... you are holding all the hate and the power she has by what she has done to demand that of you... That is the problem...
I will try to explain better tomorrow my view point...
I am not saying act like nothing happened and trust like before... by no means...
PM
I will try to explain better tomorrow my view point...
I am not saying act like nothing happened and trust like before... by no means...
PM
@Pisces:
No no I get what you're saying. I don't see how me ending the friendship & being disappointed in being stepped on when I was already down equates to me holding hate & still giving her power lol
I have no hate in my heart for her. I was describing my thought process while in that moment back in time when everything happened. I'd just lost my mother & she betrayed me. Betrayal hurts. It's supposed to. She wasn't one I'd ever expect that from, so of course my disappointment was as high as it would persay my husband or family member would've done the same thing.
Holding hate & being disappointed by betrayal are 2 different things. Some folks don't know the difference lol but I do.
The only power that situation had was me having the power to end the friendship lol None of my other friendships have been affected. She didn't scar me. She didn't make me lose trust for society or anything like that lol The only thing that changed in me was having 1 less friend. Technically, anyone who hurts you temporarily has a power over you b/c they have some part in the state of your emotions. So yeah technically she had power in the moment, but whether or not you take that power back is up to each person. And I took that power back. I just didn't take HER back lol Human nature.
It's impossible to never be affected by the actions of those closest to you. And I'm not even gonna try being anything less than human lol
I used to be the kind of person that always let things slide. I was terrified of being perceived as a grudge holder or disloyal person. So I'd hold onto things/people that were toxic, all in the name of proving a point that I didn't possess a negative trait. But then 1 day I said F that! I don't have to put up with betrayal or bullsh***t to prove to myself or anyone else that I'm loyal. I already know I am! Life is too short! Friendships are luxuries! If you want to be in someone's life, you've got to prove why you deserve a spot. It works both ways.
Now, I give credit where it's due. If you're in my life, it's b/c you're a good person who treats me with respect. And if you're not in my life it's b/c you don't treat me with respect. And yes, that even applies to my friendships. *shrugs
No no I get what you're saying. I don't see how me ending the friendship & being disappointed in being stepped on when I was already down equates to me holding hate & still giving her power lol
I have no hate in my heart for her. I was describing my thought process while in that moment back in time when everything happened. I'd just lost my mother & she betrayed me. Betrayal hurts. It's supposed to. She wasn't one I'd ever expect that from, so of course my disappointment was as high as it would persay my husband or family member would've done the same thing.
Holding hate & being disappointed by betrayal are 2 different things. Some folks don't know the difference lol but I do.
The only power that situation had was me having the power to end the friendship lol None of my other friendships have been affected. She didn't scar me. She didn't make me lose trust for society or anything like that lol The only thing that changed in me was having 1 less friend. Technically, anyone who hurts you temporarily has a power over you b/c they have some part in the state of your emotions. So yeah technically she had power in the moment, but whether or not you take that power back is up to each person. And I took that power back. I just didn't take HER back lol Human nature.
It's impossible to never be affected by the actions of those closest to you. And I'm not even gonna try being anything less than human lol
I used to be the kind of person that always let things slide. I was terrified of being perceived as a grudge holder or disloyal person. So I'd hold onto things/people that were toxic, all in the name of proving a point that I didn't possess a negative trait. But then 1 day I said F that! I don't have to put up with betrayal or bullsh***t to prove to myself or anyone else that I'm loyal. I already know I am! Life is too short! Friendships are luxuries! If you want to be in someone's life, you've got to prove why you deserve a spot. It works both ways.
Now, I give credit where it's due. If you're in my life, it's b/c you're a good person who treats me with respect. And if you're not in my life it's b/c you don't treat me with respect. And yes, that even applies to my friendships. *shrugs
Yes... your emotions are high now is all I am saying... it has a hold on you... if you let these emotions say over time it will develop to hate.
Yes you can choose not to be around the person... and that is all good...
You will know just like a past x that you are truly over it if you can honestly hold no emotion pull when you see them... even the emotion to think they are dead to you...
Each energy has their pull in the universe and they are all need...
I am not going to lie you seem to express this so strong that you seemed as if you are going to hold onto this forever... like you would talk to all your friends and gossip about it... and even years later if you saw whoever that you would still be like bitch or asshole... that is a hold... That is energy you express about something because you have not truly let it go...
I am not going to lie I have seen some of you other post... you seem well thought out...
anyways... you are going to be how you are going to be... no point on dragging this out... and yes time is always no fun that that is life for you...
Best of luck... and believe me I have eaten these words and will not even say I have mastered this...
PM
Yes you can choose not to be around the person... and that is all good...
You will know just like a past x that you are truly over it if you can honestly hold no emotion pull when you see them... even the emotion to think they are dead to you...
Each energy has their pull in the universe and they are all need...
I am not going to lie you seem to express this so strong that you seemed as if you are going to hold onto this forever... like you would talk to all your friends and gossip about it... and even years later if you saw whoever that you would still be like bitch or asshole... that is a hold... That is energy you express about something because you have not truly let it go...
I am not going to lie I have seen some of you other post... you seem well thought out...
anyways... you are going to be how you are going to be... no point on dragging this out... and yes time is always no fun that that is life for you...
Best of luck... and believe me I have eaten these words and will not even say I have mastered this...
PM
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