Dating etiquette

I was in a relationship with a man for years and it ended with him emotionally cheating with me, me giving him many chances and him not showing me he was serious, so I ended it.

So here I am, in the dating game again.

There's this man. We actually been friends for a while. Get along great, like the same things, he's very attractive and told me many times how attractive I am.

Anyways, last week we talked about going on an official date a couple times and today again, he mentioned it.
Now he used to be a player when he was younger and told me he was over it. At first I pushed him away, but he was persistant. He also told me he'd prove to me how serious he is about me.
We actually talked about what it means to date before. As friends talking, and I told him that for me, a guy talking to many girls is a big turn off. I prefer a man who only talk to me and don't explore other options. He assured me that he's not doing that anymore when he likes a girl and only persue one at the time now.

All good, except, I woke up this morning to see that a girl he's been talking to as friend posted on his wall about an upcoming date with him. She said "I don't know when and I don't know where but I can't wait for us to go on a date"

Should I ask him about it? Or just bail?
Is it normal behavior for people now a days to ask many people on dates?

Just because she posted that on his wall doesn't mean he's going on a date with her. It might be that she likes him and is trying to let him know she wants to date him. He might not be interested in her. Women are very forward these days.

That said, yes, I would mention it in a non-accusing, non-threatening way. Make sure it doesn't come across suspicious or jealous. Be light hearted about it and allow him to feel safe answering truthfully. You haven't gone out with him yet, so there's no sense getting mad about it.

Good feedback from you both. Its all in the approach to accuse someone right off the bat is very much a turn off just ask as though it doesn't bother you, just say no big deal but was that a joke or what? Be very non chilant.

Perhaps once a player, always a player? No girl is that forward out of nowhere. Even if a girl is too straight forward, obviously there is friendly interaction between them.

A common friend who knows him and this girl talked to her.
And the girl said they've been talking about going on a date a few times, talked about sex a lot and that the man I'm talking to is acting like he's very single.

Posted by AnnaPhototaker
I was in a relationship with a man for years and it ended with him emotionally cheating with me, me giving him many chances and him not showing me he was serious, so I ended it.

So here I am, in the dating game again.

There's this man. We actually been friends for a while. Get along great, like the same things, he's very attractive and told me many times how attractive I am.

Anyways, last week we talked about going on an official date a couple times and today again, he mentioned it.
Now he used to be a player when he was younger and told me he was over it. At first I pushed him away, but he was persistant. He also told me he'd prove to me how serious he is about me.
We actually talked about what it means to date before. As friends talking, and I told him that for me, a guy talking to many girls is a big turn off. I prefer a man who only talk to me and don't explore other options. He assured me that he's not doing that anymore when he likes a girl and only persue one at the time now.

All good, except, I woke up this morning to see that a girl he's been talking to as friend posted on his wall about an upcoming date with him. She said "I don't know when and I don't know where but I can't wait for us to go on a date"

Should I ask him about it? Or just bail?
Is it normal behavior for people now a days to ask many people on dates?

So... you wanna go out sometime ? 😉

You could ask him about it, but I would leave it alone... you cannot prove he has taken part in it... and you raise the red flag of insecurity by bringing it up. As for demanding he only talk to you, this is a lot to ask of anyone... and shows some more insecurity on your part. A player is basically just a salesman... those characteristics are still at work regardless of whether he gave up sales or not. He can obviously tell you exactly what you want to hear.

He can not have done anything wrong yet as you are not officially a couple. So... forget about facebook and other such lurking about... quit talking about this 'date' and just make it happen. If you get along, great ! If you don't see it happening, then forget about it. But don't deny yourself an opportunity by sabotaging it out of fear.

have you two agreed to go on a date or have a date planned? it seems these days, if you do not have any concrete plans, the guys can use that as an excuse to go out with others, saying you did not agree to a date or we have nothing planned. hmm, have seen this in movies also, guy saying 'i thought you were not interested in me' so i went with her. yeah, convenient for them. maybe you need to be clear where you stand with each other.

Posted by David13

Posted by AnnaPhototaker
I was in a relationship with a man for years and it ended with him emotionally cheating with me, me giving him many chances and him not showing me he was serious, so I ended it.

So here I am, in the dating game again.

There's this man. We actually been friends for a while. Get along great, like the same things, he's very attractive and told me many times how attractive I am.

Anyways, last week we talked about going on an official date a couple times and today again, he mentioned it.
Now he used to be a player when he was younger and told me he was over it. At first I pushed him away, but he was persistant. He also told me he'd prove to me how serious he is about me.
We actually talked about what it means to date before. As friends talking, and I told him that for me, a guy talking to many girls is a big turn off. I prefer a man who only talk to me and don't explore other options. He assured me that he's not doing that anymore when he likes a girl and only persue one at the time now.

All good, except, I woke up this morning to see that a girl he's been talking to as friend posted on his wall about an upcoming date with him. She said "I don't know when and I don't know where but I can't wait for us to go on a date"

Should I ask him about it? Or just bail?
Is it normal behavior for people now a days to ask many people on dates?

So... you wanna go out sometime ? 😉

click to expand

Non t'ai pas mon type!

I understand what you're all saying.

As for talking about dates, and planning.

We talked about it in a way that, we wouldn't ask anyone else on a date but each other. So it was defined.

Posted by AnnaPhototaker
I understand what you're all saying.

As for talking about dates, and planning.

We talked about it in a way that, we wouldn't ask anyone else on a date but each other. So it was defined.

Ahhh... it was defined. You know... when a woman defines something to a man, it is not always understood in the context that the woman intended. You have agreed that neither of you will ask anyone else out except for the other... but what if someone else from outside should ask one of you out ? We already know that YOU would turn someone else down (t'es pas mon type 😉), but will he ?

Make it happen somehow Anna... this weekend or the next. I think you need to see this through. Good luck !

Posted by AnnaPhototaker
A common friend who knows him and this girl talked to her.
And the girl said they've been talking about going on a date a few times, talked about sex a lot and that the man I'm talking to is acting like he's very single.

There might be a reason he hasn't taken her out yet.

Posted by AnnaPhototaker
I understand what you're all saying.

As for talking about dates, and planning.

We talked about it in a way that, we wouldn't ask anyone else on a date but each other. So it was defined.

Well, he may have had the same conversation with her, too. —?

If he doesn't actually take you on a real date soon, I'd blow him off.

Don't say anything Anna but still go on the date. I thinks it's too early to reveal you have been stalking his fb page and you don't wanna put too much pressure on the dude. Like David said go slow, especially since he admittedly "was" a player.