Distance makes the heart grow fonder—

Is it a good or a bad thing if you feel like you haven't seen someone in forever, when in reality it's only been a few days/weeks?

There are times when being apart does benefit the relationship as the anticipation of waiting to see the other person builds excitement and tension from it. It feels great. That's a good thing.

Then there are times when TOO much time passes without communication and combined with the distance apart due to location it feels like rejection, abandonment, disinterest. I think it's important that BOTH persons need to maintain the communication when you're physically not together to keep the fire burning and not create uncertainty or doubt.

I am definately an "out of sight out of mind" person. I could never do long distance with someone! I like to miss people but once I start missing them I need them to be with me, if they cant be with me then I lose interest.

I've read that 'distance makes the heart grow fonder' is more true for men than for women. Women need to be close/spend a fair amount of time with someone in order to love/feel loved while men may appreciate the time apart so they can long for someone. 'They' say thats how men really come to understand how they feel about someone...when they miss them.

It's good as long as it doesn't cross over into co-dependence. If that "missing you" feeling changes into a needy, lost, almost desperate feeling because they're not physically there all the time then that is when I would start to worry. Otherwise, it's normal and healthy.

Posted by Shadows
I've read that 'distance makes the heart grow fonder' is more true for men than for women. Women need to be close/spend a fair amount of time with someone in order to love/feel loved while men may appreciate the time apart so they can long for someone. 'They' say thats how men really come to understand how they feel about someone...when they miss them.

Very interesting perspective. Now I wonder if this is true....

I am woman in a LDR with a man. While there are days that make it more difficult, other days I am okay. I think the fact that is alot of communication and I am able to express my how I feel, makes the time apart easier. There are days that I need him...other days we are so busy, that I need to make an effort to contact him. It makes it easier that communication and honesty are VERY important. He is honest with me and I am honest with him, almost to a fault. Without that honesty I think the relationship would've faultered long ago. At this point in our lives it is the perfect situation. And when we do see each other it is amazing because the build up is so intense.

It's true but I have to say time doesn't really fade feelings for me. If I love you you'll always be on my mind whether in the back of it after its been a few months but somewhere my subconscious will remind me or make me think of you.

Posted by prettyladii
It's true but I have to say time doesn't really fade feelings for me. If I love you you'll always be on my mind whether in the back of it after its been a few months but somewhere my subconscious will remind me or make me think of you.

It is 6 months so far away from my sweet Pisces and still loyal lol. For cancers LDR it is not a problem but in my situation it seems to me that our LDR is working due to me mostly. Perhaps my pisces would not be attached to me if she left me for another country.We had a great relationship therefore i am trying to work on it somehow. It is hard but still possible but as a male it gets really hard at times without physical part.

Posted by Shadows
I've read that 'distance makes the heart grow fonder' is more true for men than for women. Women need to be close/spend a fair amount of time with someone in order to love/feel loved while men may appreciate the time apart so they can long for someone. 'They' say thats how men really come to understand how they feel about someone...when they miss them.

Would you be so kind as to point me to wherever you read this? I'm interested in reading it myself.

I came here to be closer to LLLTBL does she give a big rats ass I think not. She could of come down to catch up with me but no to far to walk she says.

Posted by Micha

Posted by Shadows
I've read that 'distance makes the heart grow fonder' is more true for men than for women. Women need to be close/spend a fair amount of time with someone in order to love/feel loved while men may appreciate the time apart so they can long for someone. 'They' say thats how men really come to understand how they feel about someone...when they miss them.

Would you be so kind as to point me to wherever you read this? I'm interested in reading it myself.

click to expand

Shirley. One place is a book called 'Why Men Love Bitches' and I've heard that Steve Harvey also talks about that in his book called something like Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man. Something like that.

Posted by Cancer1986LeoCusp

Posted by prettyladii
It's true but I have to say time doesn't really fade feelings for me. If I love you you'll always be on my mind whether in the back of it after its been a few months but somewhere my subconscious will remind me or make me think of you.

It is 6 months so far away from my sweet Pisces and still loyal lol. For cancers LDR it is not a problem but in my situation it seems to me that our LDR is working due to me mostly. Perhaps my pisces would not be attached to me if she left me for another country.We had a great relationship therefore i am trying to work on it somehow. It is hard but still possible but as a male it gets really hard at times without physical part.

click to expand

Distance doesn't phase a Cancer. You'll still have that rock solid, reliable love as long as you stay the way you are that made us love you.

I think balance is important. My OH travels on business for about a week at a time, every few months. While she's doing so we both miss each other and are reminded just how much we appreciate each other's company. Being apart also gives us both a chance to re-connect with ourselves and maintain the individuality and autonomy that caused us to be attracted to one another in the first place. Of course, if she were away too much I'd start to doubt her feelings for me as I'd wonder how she could bear to be apart from me for so much of the time. Then I'd start to feel hurt, rejected and resentful and the relationship wouldn't work. As I said, it's all about balance.

*** "Of course, if she were away too much I'd start to doubt her feelings for me as I'd wonder how she could bear to be apart from me for so much of the time. Then I'd start to feel hurt, rejected and resentful and the relationship wouldn't work. As I said, it's all about balance." ***

Exactly! 2 or 3 weeks with almost no contact...its not gonna work (I've been there). Business trips/ family related things where he is away for a few days to a week, no problem. But no phone calls, texts, etc during those times. Then its an issue for me. I broke off with a Taurus man who did that and had excuse after excuse about why he couldn't/wouldn't call me. Found out he had numerous "female" friends he visited. Funny, now he is trying to come back into my life, realizing he lost something good. But I will never trust him again. I have moved on.

Posted by TheLadySagittarius
Exactly! 2 or 3 weeks with almost no contact...its not gonna work (I've been there).

No, that definitely isn't going to work. My OH is currently on her second one-week business trip since we met. We text and e-mail several times every day, chat on FB if she has WiFi in her hotel and talk on the phone when timings permit. She clearly misses me and keeps in touch so, although I miss her like crazy, I don't feel bad about her being away.