Drug use

When does it become too much?

I wrote about a Cancer friend awhile back who resorts to drugs when she has break ups. Initially, it seemed kind of light use and I was told by mutual friends that she does this and it's just a phase. They keep an eye on her and make sure things don't get too bad.

This was six months ago.

I was over the other day and she's been doing stuff so much she's turned into a forgetful idiot. She seems almost unhinged and the rate in which she smokes pot is ridiculous.

It's one thing if someone partakes once in awhile, but this chick HAD to get her fix every few hours while we were out. Just before we left, then again at a glass shop she had to stop at, then again in the car outside the restaurant we were about to go into, and then again just before we went to a shop later on. All of these were within hours. After we got back, she was talking to a friend about coming over to do whippets. I don't think it helps that her new boyfriend is an avid pot smoker and she's surrounded herself with others who partake in drugs- something that all of us kinda were wtf about, tbh.

I'd talked to her roommate a week ago about misc. stuff and he seemed overly cranky about her and what she was doing in regard to the house (her house). I was like eh whatever, it's her place.

But when I went over, I could see why. Because she's on all this shit all the time, everything is just all over the place. She wants to do all these projects and never finishes them. Half the shit she wants to do, she drags the roommate or a mutual friend into doing for her.

I know of people who partake once in awhile, and then others who are doing that shit all the time. It makes me think that they can't cope with reality and use substance abuse to help cope. I also find it sad that our mutual friends haven't said much. Should I be concerned? It seems as if she's just turned into some ADD idiot. She came off as way more intelligent before. Now, it's like she runs around like a giddy child and blowing all of her trust fund money on useless stuff. That's her thing, but she's so erratic... :/

I just can't help but wonder where's the line between recreational and overkill?

Quit wasting my time.

Posted by GENERALIZOD

Posted by rockyroadicecream
I wrote about a Cancer friend awhile back who resorts to drugs when she has break ups.

i'm the same way. i dunno how long it lasts. it's been awhile since i've had a breakup.

click to expand

But did you act really erratic and quit your job with no back up plan? Were you on some substance 24-7?

Some of this I'm not sure is even drug related. She seems to be going through a quarter life crisis atm as well.

I'm only concerned because of the frequency of use is all (not just weed, but drug use overall). She's not afraid to try harder drugs and has done other stuff aside from pot. It's just the realization that use has gotten heavier than when she was newly single and screwing around with whoever was around. You'd think it'd be the opposite, no?

Was just a random pondering I had since seeing her the other night. The last time I saw her, maybe a few weeks ago, she wasn't bringing weed with her when we were out and about. She at least left it at home and waited til she got home to smoke. Maybe the efficacy is wearing off and she has to take more frequent hits to feel anything. *shrugs*

Extrema amounts of paranoia

Haunting visions of the past

Completely isolating from society

Extrem amounts of depression

Over or under eating

Becoming invisible to the outside world

Losing the will to live

Suicide.

These are cases of too much in my opinion.

Posted by rockyroadicecream
I'm only concerned because of the frequency of use is all (not just weed, but drug use overall). She's not afraid to try harder drugs and has done other stuff aside from pot. It's just the realization that use has gotten heavier than when she was newly single and screwing around with whoever was around. You'd think it'd be the opposite, no?

Was just a random pondering I had since seeing her the other night. The last time I saw her, maybe a few weeks ago, she wasn't bringing weed with her when we were out and about. She at least left it at home and waited til she got home to smoke. Maybe the efficacy is wearing off and she has to take more frequent hits to feel anything. *shrugs*

I wouldn't worry about the pot.

I'd worry about what else she's doing in addition, that's

legitimately (meaning both physically and psychologically)

addictive.


This happened with a friend of mine a year or so ago

(I've posted about it before) -- it got so bad at one point

we (friends) had her hospitalized and had agreed beforehand

that if she didn't go voluntarily, we would pursue legally.

We didn't want her dead. :/


In the meantime, understand that you can't change it-- her

mind, I mean.

But actions speak louder than words, of course.


A simple "I love you, but I can't support you doing this to

yourself" and a flat refusal to hang out with her, when she

does it will have more of an impact than telling her she's a

loser or a fuck-up or anything like that.

I know I'll probably get an argument from anyone pro pot, but I'll admit I'm 50/50 on the whole thing

Pot is something to worry about, expecially in teens or even adults. Like alcohol both show the brain what it means to be high or no longer sober, which has a chance of making the human brain less fearful of harder drugs or stronger addictions.

I know many who smoke pot daily, and they refuse to admit it's addictive or a gateway to other drugs.

I'll tell you a true story. When I was 11 I drank alcohol for the first time. My father had vodka and left me alone, so I did what any kid would do and got hammered. I was sick for days, and acted like it was a stomach virus.

A few years later at 15 I started smoking pot. It made me dislike alcohol and being drunk, and being high on pot felt much better. I was hanging around a kid who's parents did hard drugs. You name it they did it, and were abusing it. Well I had no pot, no alcohol, and his parents left so we went through their stuff looking for whatever drug we could find. An empty coke bag, empty stamp bag, and one little orange pill. If those other bags would have had drugs in them we would have done them. We were 15, knew no better, and wanted to feel high. We did the pill, which made reality no longer exist. The walls were shaking and twisting, and wouldn't stop. It made me dizzy and I started throwing up. I acted like I was sick, and felt a never ending feeling of dizziness for weeks.

This happens to kids, teens, and adults daily, and it's sad. If your a parent be mature for your kids sake. Don't bring drugs or alcohol into your house since kids know no better. Even then they still have a chance to find it from friends and other people. Pay attention.

I don't care who you are or what you think, pot, alcohol, or anything else mind altering is a gateway to other things that alter the mind.

Posted by Soul
I know I'll probably get an argument from anyone pro pot, but I'll admit I'm 50/50 on the whole thing

Pot is something to worry about, especially in teens or even adults. Like alcohol both show the brain what it means to be high or no longer sober, which has a chance of making the human brain less fearful of harder drugs or stronger addictions.

I did some digging and found articles based on "too much weed" and it does happen. It just gets shrugged off because of all the touted good things about pot.

The comedian, Ralphie May, shared a story where his doc told him to cut back on smoking weed because he'd developed a pulmonary embolism from smoking so much weed. It IS possible, it just gets shrugged off by most people because, "omg it's so harmless compared to everything else."

Like you, I think it's why she's done other drugs. She's becoming immune to pot, in a sense, and needs something else to get that high at times.

I came across a few instances of people recounting their stories where pot may not be physically addictive, but it definitely is psychologically addictive in that someone feels that they need to be on it all the time to function. That in itself is always a concern regardless of what kind of drug it is. You are relying on a substance to function. There is something wrong there and the psychological issues causing this need to be addressed, not masked by a substance.

The main concern with this chick is the fact she has to be on something all the damned time. Before, it seemed more occasional, but seeing her constantly taking hits within the span of a few hours was a little eye opening to where she really is in this "phase." It is not a healthy way to cope with issues, Jesus.

In the meantime, we just keep an eye on her, but I doubt I'm the only one who's noticed. I was just under the impression that "recreational" was occasional, but in how she's increased drug usage overall makes me wonder if it's now considered more excess than occasional. :/

Posted by Montgomery


But actions speak louder than words, of course.

A simple "I love you, but I can't support you doing this to

yourself" and a flat refusal to hang out with her, when she

does it will have more of an impact than telling her she's a

loser or a fuck-up or anything like that.

I know this is the case/already happening with some. She's already noticed that her roommate/friend has been really cranky with her and kind of distancing himself. He's just getting tired of living with a grown, adult female who's been acting like some 14 year old girl for the last several months. I don't blame him. He's out for like 12 hours with work, comes home, and she's bombarding him to have him help her with all her little unfinished projects/ideas when she's been home all day. That'd make anyone irritated.

I'M getting to the point where I really don't want to be involved in any of her plans. Which is sucky because she's a total sweetheart. She's just going through some shit right now.

Posted by size zero superhero
Years back I chose to distance myself & ultimately cut contact with a dear friend, solely due to their ever-advancing alcoholism. Wasn't easy, matter of fact I second-guessed my decision extensively. I knew deep down that the person I initially befriended was still present within, if only reduced to a hostage.

Bottom line? He* wasn't about to quit for anything nor anybody--not for himself either. With so little motivation to change, being that his financial situation was set thanks to inherited wealth--I couldn't bear to stand by, as I realized I'd already done for too long.
IMO, officially gone "too far" once the individual alienates others via behavior while under the influence, overlooks health-related consequences of ongoing use & not only endangers themselves, but also jeopardizes the safety of those in close proximity.

The "last straw"? In the midst of a blacked-out, childish tantrum that took place at a mutual friend's house party, he kicked someone that tried to help him get up from the floor...and broke 3 of their ribs. He managed to break several belongings in the house, to boot.

You may not have to drop the person altogether, rocky, but putting some space between yourself & the subject of this thread may be in order...at the very least. Not advising you to abandon them during a rough patch, or because they're "no fun anymore" now, but it's much harder to distance oneself AFTER getting sucked into the series of colossal addiction-fueled disasters.

* I can guess what some readers may be assuming, but no, we weren't knocking boots. He's gay.

Well fortunately, I'm not all that close to this chick, so distancing myself isn't something that'll be hard to do. I just feel bad for her on the individual level because of what she's doing and the fact that she's surrounded mostly by people who wouldn't do the right thing to tell her to knock it off/get a grip.

Posted by rockyroadicecream
I just feel bad for her on the individual level because of what she's doing and the fact that she's surrounded mostly by people who wouldn't do the right thing to tell her to knock it off/get a grip.

So rarely does that moon come out in the forum.


Sounds like she may not even be aware that her

behavior is so... off.


We (people, in general) can't see ourselves with the

alarming clarity that others do... esp concerning drugs,

etc-- sometimes we just have to be told.


Saying something may have no effect whatsoever, or it may

save her life from God knows what years from now.


I know you don't know her that well, but if no one else is

going to do the right thing, then maybe you should.


🙂

I don't know if you really want to incorporate astrology into this but I'm a Cancer too and I get it.

If this is long-term I can tell you right now she's depressed.
If you noticed the trigger being after a romantic(?) breakups then she considers being in a relationship part of her identity so she believes she loses essentially who she is and considers a breakup a "failure" and thus herself.

What kind of drugs is she mostly doing - depressants, stimulants, psycho, etc?
It can tell you what she needs in her life.
Ex. If she does depressants that means she's over-stimulated as in high anxiety & feels all over the place because she's searching for who she is but on overdrive internally.

Posted by Montgomery

So rarely does that moon come out in the forum.


Sounds like she may not even be aware that her

behavior is so... off. We (people, in general) can't see ourselves with the

alarming clarity that others do... esp concerning drugs,

etc-- sometimes we just have to be told. Saying something may have no effect whatsoever, or it may

save her life from God knows what years from now. I know you don't know her that well, but if no one else is

going to do the right thing, then maybe you should.


🙂

I don't think she's that aware, tbh. It's only when someone reacts negatively that she realizes something is wrong.

I wouldn't mind telling her what I see/think, but as you said, I'm not that close to her and I have no idea how well it'd go over if I spoke up. My ex is affiliated with this group of friends and he was going through some sort of crazy in the last year and nobody told him to knock it off. He had a tendency to blame others for not including him or whatever the case was, and the reality was that nobody wanted to be around because of the gross girls he was fucking around with or the fact he was talking so much about shit nobody wanted to hear about (strip clubs, tacky references to abusive porn, etc). I tried to get our mutual friend to say something to him because someone needed to tell him to stfu about that stuff and it wasn't cool. I'd gladly say something, but I'm the ex and my saying something would get twisted. Friend's response- "Eh, he'll learn."

How can he learn if he's not aware of what he's doing??

I've even mentioned things to the same friend about the Cancer's bs and how excessive it is. "Eh, it's just a phase. She'll work through it."

Kay, but from what you've told me in the past, this seems a bit overkill. :/

They're so passive and whatever when friends are going through some stuff. Drives me nuts because it's like uh, you can at least put in your 2 cents as food for thought, and if they continue, then be "meh they'll get over it."

Posted by Pearls


What kind of drugs is she mostly doing - depressants, stimulants, psycho, etc?
It can tell you what she needs in her life.
Ex. If she does depressants that means she's over-stimulated as in high anxiety & feels all over the place because she's searching for who she is but on overdrive internally.

All of the above.

Does weed most of the time.

She mentioned whippets the other night. I've seen her take pills of sorts and I can't remember wtf they were. Likely stimulant or psycho.

Talked to a mutual friend about the situation and apparently she just does this shit a LOT.

I wasn't aware of it much because the ex had asked her to stop doing so many drugs. I see why, now.

But that said, if mutual friend says that this is how she rolls, whatever. I still feel bad for the chick since she seems like a total mess. All we can do is keep an eye out. *shrugs*